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The Door Frame posted:I had a buddy who did that with his girlfriend. Only he was 400 lbs and she was 320 lbs so penetrative sex wasn't really going to work for them without a ton of effort Please don't exaggerate. 720lbs is only a third of a ton.
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Sep 5, 2014 08:21
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BirdOfPlay posted:Considering only one person told you to sever, you came to the right place! If this thread was in E/N then John Lee would be ignoring all the advice while saying he could manage to push it in deeper, and ultimately the thread would recommend watersports as the solution to everything instead of anal.
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Sep 28, 2014 10:40
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The Door Frame posted:How bad of an idea is bikini waxing if you're a very hairy man? I usually just trim, but I can never get everything all the way and the rear end stubble is ridiculously itchy after a day on my feet Wash the rear end stubble off your feet then, you loving trog.
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Nov 6, 2014 01:25
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hoobajoo posted:Are you seriously asking how to have sex without using your mouth? It's a valid question. Many women (and some men) cannot come from PIV alone and need other kinds of stimulation.
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Nov 8, 2014 20:20
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LingcodKilla posted:I always thought using hands first allowed you to basically check out hygiene first before committing your face to it with some random dude or skeezy. LingcodKilla posted:A real man would have just been happy with getting his dick wet and not having to do extra "work". No comment necessary.
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Nov 9, 2014 12:06
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The Door Frame posted:Towel? Don't you have a shirt that you literally just took off? Usually, but unless you're at home and spending the night you may want to put it back on again when you leave.
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Jan 17, 2015 09:58
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Sex Questions Megathread III: Vaginas are weird, as a rule
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Jan 30, 2015 09:45
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Quift posted:Yes! That's hilarious. But what about butt stuff? It's implied.
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Jan 30, 2015 15:04
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Turtlicious posted:I read a book on it, and it was more me breathing on her while performing cunnilingus, so I tried some new things including quietly breathing through my nose. Perhaps she's reading a book on how to enjoy sex with you.
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Feb 8, 2015 01:10
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AlbieQuirky posted:I don't know which Turtlicious problems to believe in anymore I suspect Turtlicious is Jay-Z, as he has 99 problems. The rest also applies, of course.
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Feb 11, 2015 16:44
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double dip posted:if you're loving two girls and come in one and then pull out inbetween spurts and reinsert into the second girl and come inside of her, could girl number 2 become pregnant? just wondering... Well, there's a post/username combo for the ages. I'm not sure of the viability of frogs on unicycles engaging in a threesome, though.
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Feb 21, 2015 18:15
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QuiteEasilyDone posted:A twilight fanfic that got banned from its original hosting site... which if you're familiar with any sort of fan writing repository, is an accomplishment. A terrible, terrible accomplishment 50 Shades horrifies me because Twilight reads like lovely fanfic to begin with. So it's a lovely fanfic of a lovely fanfic, that has in turn spawned lovely fanfics and knockoffs of its own. 
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Feb 26, 2015 01:39
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Goons, I have a supermodel girlfriend who will do anything I want in bed and I pole vault with what God gave me. How subtle do I have to be before you figure out I'm lying?
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Apr 1, 2015 16:15
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Masonity posted:Kegel exercises. Do them yourself, for that matter. You'll wind up with an erection that could knock a mugger unconscious, should you ever be mugged by a dwarf.
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Apr 4, 2015 10:10
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Arnold of Soissons posted:A dwarf standing extremely close to you Speak for yourself, mate. Anyway, regular practice of Kegels will definitely leave you like this.
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Apr 4, 2015 14:03
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Vahakyla posted:I've found out that a regular condom goes around a fire extinguisher. Use this info to your advantage. Thanks! Next time I need to put out a fire I'll know I can use my cock!
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Apr 6, 2015 09:51
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cash crab posted:Since I don't actually own a dick, I'm not sure how uncomfortable it is to wear something that needs to stretch significantly to accommodate me. Buy a sock three sizes too small for your foot and find out.
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Apr 6, 2015 16:58
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hoobajoo posted:Trojans are one of the worse brands, but they were the ones I tried first and they have actual marketing, so can't blame you for that one. Try Skyn, Crown, or Kimono, those all have good reputations. Having marketing isn't necessarily a bad thing, Durex do and they're fine. I can see why anyone who is slightly thicker than average would have problems with Trojans, though; I tried them once and found they were both smaller and narrower than UK brands. I shall throw out the obligatory plug for theyfit.com, who make condoms in something like 77 different sizes and have a printable measuring kit. They used to do a goon discount, but I forget the code.
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Apr 27, 2015 08:06
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bobula posted:Umm I loving love sleep sex Wet dreams are not "sleep sex".
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Apr 28, 2015 15:50
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The Door Frame posted:Are nitrile any good? I know female condoms are better than male condoms I'd love to know where you heard this. Every person I've heard express an opinion about femidoms is that they're like shagging a freezer bag.
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May 24, 2015 19:23
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Anne Whateley posted:Stubble on the dick itself is the absolute worst, because the areas you presumably want on it are super sensitive. Shave right beforehand. Waxing or plucking would buy you more time. Laser would be permanent/semipermanent. This is not a prospect I find appealing. 
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Jun 28, 2015 01:01
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Masonity posted:Do you want the absolute god honest awful truthful answer? I was given to understand that you're supposed to have a few orgasms as soon as you're healed enough, to purge any lingering sperm from the system. Is this not right?
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Aug 2, 2015 23:09
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DandyLion posted:I guess that would look something like 'Vidi Veni Vici' if you want to be a bit more classy about it. Vidi Veneri Vici?
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Aug 27, 2015 01:25
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KillHour posted:The bell curve for penises is surprisingly steep. This thread is proof that every lower curve has a bell end.
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Sep 3, 2015 18:16
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Brutor Fartknocker posted:I love how cis men would never think to use a strap on. My dick could be a foot long, fire breathing double dildo on some days. Well, thankfully George Miller chose a slightly different direction in Mad Max.
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Sep 19, 2015 00:15
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Mechafunkzilla posted:And that man's name...was Albert Einstein. Zwei Madchen, Ein Stein.
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Sep 24, 2015 09:58
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Geoj posted:My wife was initially against an IUD - she went to the GYN seeking a tubal and they gave her the usual run-around about how she actually wants children and will surely change her mind in the next 5-10 years (she was 28 at the time), so instead of setting up yet another appointment to roll the dice with another doctor she went ahead with a Mirena. Two years later she's fully on board and is planning on getting another when this one is up for replacement. And if it doesn't work, Mirena is a lovely name for a girl.
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Sep 26, 2015 00:39
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Madbullogna posted:His viral load is actually why he's seeing his Dr tomorrow, he hasn't been on meds since his diagnosis a couple of years ago. He told me he didn't see the point in it, and apparently it's been a tough couple of years for him. Thankfully, he has decided he wants to be around for a long time and take care of himself, so his Dr is going to consider whatever AV meds are appropriate for where he's at right now. My definition of "a great one" would not include someone who has sex with multiple partners while knowing he is HIV+ and without telling them. That would be my definition of "a worthless piece of poo poo".
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Dec 7, 2015 09:45
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silvergoose posted:That's what epidurals are for!!! No really giving birth sucks hard. If you'd sucked hard, you wouldn't be giving birth.
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Dec 10, 2015 14:29
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Soylent Pudding posted:Also because health and sex education in my American Deep South public schools taught us things like only men enjoy sex, condoms don't prevent STIs, it's impossible for women to take advantage of men, abstinance until marriage is the only healthy choice, and touching yourself makes Baby Jesus cry. Jesus cries when you masturbate because the last time he tried rubbing one out he slipped and it went through the hole in his palm.
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Dec 10, 2015 22:48
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Mak0rz posted:Tell people about your audio setup. That should convince them to go home with you. If it's a good audio setup they won't have to, they can just follow him home at a discreet distance and listen from outside.
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Dec 16, 2015 13:54
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LingcodKilla posted:What do screamers do when they masturbate? Call out their own names, obviously.
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Dec 20, 2015 17:38
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LingcodKilla posted:I find silence to be best otherwise the kids wake up and really ruin the mood with all the doors knocking. Coming into the Sex thread and complaining about the consequences seems a mite rich.
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Dec 30, 2015 10:38
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Cuckoo posted:I do find it annoying when a guy asks me to cum though, like I can't really do it on command unless you want a weak/fake version. When a guy asks you to come at any time other than when you're obviously in the middle of a climax, it means he wants you to fake it to make him feel all manly and/or get him over the edge. Cheerleading a woman's orgasm is perfectly OK, though.
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Dec 30, 2015 17:11
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Affi posted:No? I mean I understand that it's very easy to interpret it like that. And I'm sure I've induced a fake orgasm or two this way *sigh* Cuckoo is not talking about guys who want to make her come and ask to be shown how, she's talking about the ones who are all "You vill come for ze greater glory of ze Gefickenreich!" and expect her to obey ze orders.
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Dec 30, 2015 19:25
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Masonity posted:Laid, hopefully. I'd ask beforehand if you intend buying a gag.
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Dec 30, 2015 22:32
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LingcodKilla posted:Had a coworker do that clone a willy thing for his lady and she promptly dumped him. I've never understood the appeal of that. "Here, have a copy of my dick to get you off. It won't finish before you do, it won't pester you for sex when you're not in the mood, it can go as many times as you like and - hey, where are you going?"
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Dec 31, 2015 12:13
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PRADA SLUT posted:Go-Gurt comes with a convenient applicator as well. Except Go-Gurt is Yoplait, which had been advised against in literally the post before yours. I know you think you're being funny, but don't make jokes about inserting substances into your body without a big neon flashing sign reading "JOKE" because you should also know that someone will try it.
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Jan 7, 2016 09:31
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DandyLion posted:
Which orifice was it originally inserted into?
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Jan 7, 2016 17:05
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Archimago posted:If he does it on his front yard then it's private property and not rape I think but IANAL. Roosh, is that you?
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Feb 5, 2016 12:10
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