Sex Questions Megathread: but his symptoms had cleared up by the time i ate his ass

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Sex Questions Megathread: but his symptoms had cleared up by the time i ate his ass

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PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

On the other hand, it would be pretty loving hilarious if he started howling along with one of you.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2014 05:47

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# ¿ Dec 9, 2025 07:16

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Mak0rz posted:

Sex Questions Megathread III: Like a battering ram knocking on my hermetically sealed shame basket

# ¿ Jan 25, 2015 00:24

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Turtlicious posted:

It's normal for women not to enjoy PiV sex though

I don't know that that's accurate.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 06:44

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Anne Whateley posted:

OK now I can ask, you know that's an actual fetish thing, right?

Wait, what is? Your partner being just completely disinterested?

# ¿ Feb 12, 2015 05:32

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Why the gently caress is that in your Facebook feed?

# ¿ Apr 11, 2015 05:18

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

legsarerequired posted:

EDIT: I feel kind of lovely making him try on larger condoms because I don't want to give him anxiety

Something tells me this won't be a problem.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2015 22:51

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Indeed, I'm furious that article just ends there. Fool must have got readmitted somewhere.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2015 06:31

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Turtlicious posted:

with the man who lied about having HIV.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2015 22:52

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Anoulie posted:

Yeah, I started bleeding when we had sex earlier today. He'd already made me cum with his fingers/tongue and he didn't take long to cum in me (like, under a minute because of all the foreplay) so there was definitely adequate foreplay and not too much friction. And it was bright red and liquid (so nothing period-related) and I already made a doctor's appointment for Monday 'cause I wanna know what the heck is up with my lady bits. And I think I have a UTI on top of all that, too. Woop.

Your husband right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAaRQezoIAg

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 19:31

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

peramene posted:

# ¿ Aug 16, 2016 05:23

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

thechosenone posted:

I checked, and while it seems masturbation is occasionally discussed here, I was wondering if it would be okay to just field a question to one person via PM before actually asking it. I just want to make sure the question is acceptable. I just feel embarrassed about it, but it is bugging me.

I don't understand what this post is even for.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2016 01:34

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

IronicDongz posted:

grapefruit your man

# ¿ Mar 15, 2017 22:27

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2017 23:26

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

A girl I know who got it done said it hurt like hell, she also said it was totally worth it.

YMMV I guess.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2018 23:35

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Yeah that sounds pretty ok. The facial hair I don't so much mind, but I'd love to be rid of the neck portions of my facial hair, those fuckers love to grow inwards.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 23:58

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Don't get too drunk.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2018 15:50

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Faerunner posted:

I drew you a lovely mspaint of it, does this help?

That does help!

Also good god that looks uncomfortable and awkward.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2018 18:51

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Anyone have good recommendations on where to buy a Magic Wand style vibrator? Looking to buy one but I've heard there can be a lot of quality difference between them.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2018 19:12

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Batteries do OK I assume?

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 05:49

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Thanks all, wireless is certainly a compelling advantage.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 06:10

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Jeb! Repetition posted:

Do people have more or less pubic hair now than they did in previous decades?

I for one have less than I did one decade ago, but much more than I did two decades ago.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2018 00:23

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Just gonna leave this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/808kcb/not_sure_if_i_f23_can_go_through_with_boyfriends/

quote:

My boyfriend (John�not his real name) and I like a bit of light kink mixed in with role play. Nothing too unusual, some boss/secretary stuff, some teacher/student stuff, that kind of thing. It�s fun, maybe something we do once a week or so? Last night my boyfriend started a professor thing�that was cool with me, although he seemed a little more nervous than usual. Once we got into it, he asked me to call him Professor Peterson. A couple of days before we�d been watching some of Jordan Peterson�s videos. I hadn�t really thought much about him, but my boyfriend was excited to show me�he says Dr. Peterson has been helping him figure some stuff out in his life.

I watched the videos and thought some of the stuff he had to say was okay (yeah, take responsibility for your life, for sure), but some of it was just a bit weird over the top alpha male for me (something about not respecting men who won�t fight or something?). It just kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

So anyway, when my boyfriend brought up the Dr. Peterso thing I knew where it was coming from. I really like to be accommodating in bed�I totally get off on it actually. So I went through with it but in the end I wasn�t super comfortable. John has brought it up every day since then�he�s got some real dom fantasies that he wants to act out as Jordan Peterson. I don�t know, like, should I look more into these videos and see if I change my mind about him? Should I play along? I can tell John is totally into it�he�s normally a sex two or three times a week kind of guy but he wants it ALL the time now. I�m happy he�s feeling more horny and I don�t want to shut him down (I�m normally the high libido one). What should I do?

# ¿ Apr 21, 2018 23:49

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Gejimayu posted:

Ive been wanting to get a hitachi magic wand for a while and finally went to bite the bullet but amazon reviews on the "original magic bullet" seem mixed. Even the official looking one has people claiming its counterfeit. Can anyone point me towards a verified/tested product?

I bought this cordless version, my girlfriend loving loves it, and the cordless is legit awesome, no issues with battery life.

https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/wand-massagers/sp-magic-wand-rechargeable-100664.aspx

# ¿ Jun 6, 2018 04:25

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

An important distinction is that boobs do not store any pee.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2018 19:13

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Having frank and non judgemental discussions about preferences is great and all, but that position is indeed very vanilla, and I would feel zero hesitation about just throwing that out as "hey do you want to be on top?" in the moment. None of the women I've been with have disliked that position in general.

As for having conversations about preferences, I find that often happens right after the fact; while in a post-gently caress cuddle just mention the things your partner did that you were particularly into.

PittTheElder fucked around with this message at 23:53 on Nov 13, 2018

# ¿ Nov 13, 2018 23:50

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

I have the same one, girlfriend loves it, highly recommend.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2019 23:05

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

purple death ray posted:

Amateur porn is truly the silver lining of the internet

It's honestly way better than the pro stuff.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2019 03:16

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Colonel J posted:

Our (gf and I) 6th year anniversary is coming up and I'm planning to surprise my GF with a hitachi magic wand. Good idea?

Good idea. I got a wireless one and it's great, rave reviews from the gf.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2019 15:09

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

I ordered mine from GoodVibrations.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2019 16:12

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Qubee posted:

Real talk, I'd 100% buy a wand just for shits and giggles and hey making your partner ooze their consciousness out of their ear holes from the soul lifting orgasm is great and all, but I legitimately worry it would sorta hamstring stuff in the bedroom? Like right now, I'm used, and it's all me, but if we brought a wand into things, I feel like that'd totally supplant me and I kinda like making my partner feel good myself.
...
So personal anecdotes of guys who've bought their girls a wand, what happened and did things change in a bad way?

I didn't run into any of what you're worried about. First of all, it's not like she's using it while you just lie there and watch (though that could be fun too I guess), usually when we use it it's me using it on her, so I'm very involved and there's lot of teasing and edging happening before the big screams.

Also, YMMV but after a wand orgasm there's nothing my girlfriend wants more than my dick inside her, usually with one or two more orgasms for her.

Finally, it's really nice to have for the times when she finishes me first; she isn't super into receiving oral, and my vibe isn't the same after I finish which apparently puts a damper on her enjoyment some other stuff, but the wand still does it just fine.

quote:

Imagine if there was a Fleshlight 2.0 that was amazing in every way and stimulated your prostate too and your gf got it for you, wouldn't you wanna gently caress the poo poo out of that every time instead of doing the usual thing with her?

Not a chance. It's way more fun fooling around with another person, especially a long term partner.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2019 19:52

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

I imagine post-O sensitivity varies, I don't really have the sample size to make any sort of predictive statement. I imagine the wand won't make a huge difference but :shrug:

Clitoral stimulation is super important, but all of the women I've ever been with have also enjoyed the vaginal intercourse part. There are always exceptions though, so just talk to and (since it sounds you already have), trust your partner. At a certain point you just need to. If you've sat down and had an open conversation about this outside of the bedroom (and you should), you should have no reason to disbelieve her.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2019 21:29

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Poil posted:

I had some interesting experiences today. Kissing is... weirdly unsatisfying. Not bad. Just not as amazing I thought it would be. Other things happened and now my head is totally e/n levels of bad. Welp.

Well was it exciting at all? If not you might be kissing the wrong person :v:

# ¿ Mar 17, 2019 03:54

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Johnny Truant posted:

Hitachi Wand question: worth it to splurge for the cordless model? 1.5x the price has me hesitant..

Fake edit: Basically, do the batteries lose their charge super quick during use, and how durable are the batteries, like 1-2 years, or <1 year, or...?

I think it's worth it. Battery is really good, I've never timed it or anything, but we've used it >20 minutes at a time occasionally. Had it a year or so and still going strong.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2019 21:20

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Poil posted:

Also my fingers and tongue have basically no stamina whatsoever. Should probably work on that. Are there any... workout stuff you can do for that?

That's the best thing about sex, the best way to work out for it is to do it!

Especially since it sounds like you two are both on the relatively inexperienced side, just take your time, pleasure each other however you can and have fun with it.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2019 21:13

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Poil posted:

Thanks. 18% failure rate sounds alarmingly high, so I assume I don't understand it correctly. Almost one out five times it doesn't work?

I believe the failure rate is much lower with the "if used correctly" caveat, and the 18% bit is recognition that people frequently misuse them.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2019 21:40

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Yeah I've been in the same place; she'll be touching me but I'm not the focus because I'm doing her, but I'll be way too excited from doing her, and when the focus does shift it's sometimes over real quickly. That's why she comes first :v:

# ¿ Apr 16, 2019 22:12

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Qubee posted:

I'm circumcised, so I used to use lube or just weirdly jerk the tip to get around the lack of foreskin. The entire concept of a quickie is beyond me. I can't cum fast no matter how turned on I am, I just gotta thrust away until I eventually hit climax. Which kinda sucks cause creampies are my poo poo, but 9 times out of 10 we finish me off with manual stimulation because I just get absolutely wrecked from how tiring it is. I thought it'd get better with time and laying off masturbation / porn, but I'm stuck in limbo and I guess this is my lot in life.

Give it time dude.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2019 04:10