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Blah blah, death grip, blah blah internet porn, blah blah circle jerk.  Look Tesla, you need to relax above all else. poo poo, you had one bad night and are already planning to take some Viagara. Doesn't this seem a little extreme? Telsa Cola posted:We did not do much foreplay last time but I will see about going about it more for the next time. This line right here sticks out to me like a sore thumb. How long would you guess it took from the clothes coming off until you started saying, "This has never happened to me before"? 30 minutes? An hour? Was there a time-constraint (e.g. a final in an hour, hurrying before roommates/parents got home)? What percentage of sexytime was spent on foreplay specifically on her? Specifically on you? Was there touching? Stroking? Kissing? Licking, fingering, rubbing, holding, massaging, groping, pinching, sucking, grabbing, spanking? I know you see me asking a lot of question, and, please, I don't loving need a play-by-play from your recent sexcapade. Foreplay does a lot. It gets both of you ready and firing on all cylinders, which will help your crankshaft turn over instead of stalling in 2nd like it did last time. 
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May 8, 2014 00:34
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dovetaile posted:Hello sex thread! Have you cum anally with other dudes? Cause the squirting could be causing a mental block. Have you and he experimented with different positions? It could be that his dong is missing what you're able to hit, and different positions could reach it. The best advice I can give is that Trans Megathread would, obviously, have a much higher percentage of goons able to answer your specific question.
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Jul 28, 2014 09:34
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dovetaile posted:He's my first sexual partner. We've done standing and me riding him. Yeah, I guess I could try the Trans megathread too. Well, in that case, do both or either of these positions work the same as what you do anally by yourself? Assuming you're using a toy, it could be that his bend isn't working right in those positions. For an example he bends up, and you feel the best when pushing up to one of your sides. Obviously, standing nor riding him would work. In this case, you could try laying on your side and having him enter from on top. Of course, you could do that anyways, cause different positions are fun. Just make sure everything's lined up.
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Jul 29, 2014 01:42
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Turtlicious posted:You all just got trolled. Nope, worse: they got gooned. John Lee posted:Sometimes I'm stupid, and sometimes I'm poor at composition, and sometimes I have trouble getting my tone across in text, and any or all of these things my have contributed, but no, I wasn't trolling. I had a legit problem with how I thought about a sex act, I wanted to ask a number of people about it at once in a place where it was okay to do so. Sorry if it was poorly placed; like I said, I considered putting it in E/N because I was frankly feeling overemotional about it. Considering only one person told you to sever, you came to the right place!
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Sep 28, 2014 07:02
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EugeneJ posted:I'm considering dating someone with Hepatitis C (they're getting treated for it and will be cured in a few months). Hep C isn't widely believed to be transmitted by sex. Wikipedia leaves the door open, but Planned Parenthood says transmission is strictly blood to blood. But you know what you should do? Tell this person to get the green light from their doc. If they're being treated, they have access to real medical advice, which is much better advice than checking Wikipedia and Planned Parenthood's website.
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Dec 1, 2014 06:53
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necrobobsledder posted:I am confused how that's supposed to work mechanically and may require an MSPaint diagram. I do not understand which end is supposed to go where nor how the hell that could feel like someone going down on you if that's attached in some manner besides with superglue. Does it bend out like a snake jaw when loving? It'd help if I could tell what material this is now I think about it. I found this image on the first Google link for "Clitty Muncher Penis Sleeve." I could be a dick about it, but I'll give it to you straight.  Xibanya posted:For those dudes who have managed to get their ladies off with digital stimulation - how long does it usually take? I always tell my guy to give up after 2-4 mins because I feel too embarrassed but is it normal to have to go at it for longer than it would going solo? I can get myself off in about 1 minute but my dude has never managed it despite my best directions. I'm drat good with my hands, and I couldn't get my girl off in 2 minutes. Granted, I don't think of it as a race and follow the longer is better philosophy.
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Jan 20, 2015 10:22
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Xibanya posted:I don't like PIV, it's boring Some guys have issues with it. I've only come from pure oral with one chick. Also, have you never been filled when you went over the edge? You don't need fancy toys to try that out. Just ask your boy (or do it yourself, you're an emancipated woman!) to start rubbing one out while he's inside.
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Jan 20, 2015 19:47
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The simple answer is you don't have to if you don't want to. Some like it because (if you're in a stable, monogamous relation) you don't have to worry about condoms. Others hate it, because it's very messy and stains everything. But, honestly, I'd recommend giving it at least a shot. If you're asking about period sex on a public forum, it shows a basic interest in the act. Who knows, maybe you'll like it?
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Jan 28, 2015 22:02
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 Sex Questions Megathread III: Please shut the gently caress up about Turtlicious's kinks
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Feb 12, 2015 18:43
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Masonity posted:Sounds like a problem easiest solved by getting a bigger rear end. Consider silicon implants. You might get a discount if you get your tits done at the same time? If cosmetic surgery isn't a route you'd like to go, you could try taking up a sport that leads to a bigger rear end. Have you considered taking up fencing, specifically sabre? Loads of big, but fit, asses in women's sabre...
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Mar 26, 2015 07:54
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John Lee posted:I've never had sleep sex to my knowledge, but the concept is one of the things that creeps me out, because it is technically rape, and from then on your partner can ruin your entire life any time they want. You couldn't even deny it to a judge; "Well, yes, I had sex with her when she didn't consent nor was capable of consent, but I guess I just didn't think it was a big deal at the time?" Since this is an advice thread, I advise you not to have sex with anyone again until you learn what consent is, in terms of sexuality. In fact, you should avoid masturbating, because you will, in all likelihood, end up raping yourself. Direct question: Which happens more often: false rape accusations or unreported rapes?
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Apr 29, 2015 04:14
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small hendren posted:What's the difference between talking dirty and talking poo poo? Seems to be the same thing, where you're saying things like "yeah you like that, don't you you stupid bitch. Take it in your rear end, oval office." Etc. Do you honestly believe that you have to call your girl names for it to count as talking dirty? You don't have to, but it makes sense if you're doing that "rough sex" all those teenagers are doing on my street.
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Aug 26, 2015 17:38
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Shine posted:Getting deep in your cum-guzzling fuckhole, suckling my chute digger with pussy sauce, I'm gonna spew man yogurt all over your gently caress udders, take it cuntwhacker. I, too, quote Manwhore lyrics to my girl during the most intense of sexy times. 
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Aug 28, 2015 07:41
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Quift posted:But besides stating the obvious Have you tried that? Does it work? Have you literally said: "Oh baby, my purple-headed cyclops is deep within your pulsing love canal. Prepare yourself for my gushing torrent of manhood"?
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Sep 2, 2015 07:37
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legsarerequired posted:I feel pretty frustrated by condom-sizes.org. I feel like their sizing for several brands that my boyfriend and I have tried seems off. Is there still a condoms megathread or a condom resource that others recommend? Which is listed as a snug-fit condom. Your boyfriend has a pretty fat whopper and should avoid condoms that small. How much have you dicked around with that site? because there are several pages to help guide y'all to a decent sized condom. For instance, this table spells out exactly what sized casing is appropriate any given sausages. I mean, have y'all tried a magnum? If this is a joke post, you already missed lazily talking about how big of a dillio you have access to. hoobajoo posted:Trojan's kinda a poor brand, I've heard anecdotally that they seem to break more often too. I don't use them, but Kimono is a brand that gets a lot of good press. The sizing issue, as described, cannot be ignored. This study states how highly correlated this is. Oddly enough, condom-sizes.org linked me to that abstract and referenced an <80% condom to penis ratio causing an increased risk of breakage. And, because we're nerds here, the Trojans in question have a 78% ratio to the penis in question. BirdOfPlay fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Sep 22, 2015 |
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Sep 22, 2015 05:34
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Wasn't it because people started talking about wanting to eat people? In the knife and fork kind of way, rather than oral sex I mean. The last kink thread I read had a dude trolling the thread talking about master-slave role play a la the Antebellum South. Partly because of "no kinkshaming," the whole thing kept going until he was talking about making GBS threads on an Abe Lincoln shirt and making her eat it, both the poo poo and the shirt. This may or may not have been the last thread. When it finally disappeared for good, it burst into flames, was gassed, and reborn, like, three times in quick succession. I almost want to say it all happened in a week or two.
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Sep 24, 2015 16:52
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DandyLion posted:And another recommendation for butt sex! Unprotected butt sex increases transmission of STI's. This is one of the few times where butt sex is not the answer.
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Mar 24, 2016 19:55
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Violet_Sky posted:I just feel so lovely. I think my mental illnesses scared him away as well. I just want the pain to stop. It will, poo poo just takes time. I'm sorry that your first time was with such an rear end in a top hat, and that's really the main story here. Like, to be a bit hard nosed and nebby, I noticed a lack of mention of him touching you besides trying to shove his dick in. Did he even attempt any foreplay? Fondle your breasts? Caress your thigh? Did he even send preliminary scouts into your Wondrous Cavern before attempting to breach your walls with his battering ram? If none of those things happened, it's pretty unlikely that he would've made the pain go away. You also found out that sex didn't quite work out, but you've done everything you can in that regard. You researched your issue and took the big step of making an appointment with your PCP about not being able to have sex. And, as far as I can tell, that's a really hard appointment to make unless you're a dude with an AARP membership! So, congratulations, none of this poo poo is easy. Lastly, if we are talking depression here, I really wish I had some words that I knew would make the pain stop. But I've been through it myself (like a surprising number of goons, it seems), I know there are no quick and easy solutions. The best I can offer is keep it up. I don't know how old you are nor do I know how long it took you of working towards meeting and dating men to get to this point, but, please, don't think of this as the capstone of your efforts. Everyone has to work and try at this whole companionship thing; it's us looking at it from the outside that makes it seem easy for everyone else.
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Jul 23, 2016 21:29
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Old Binsby posted:It also doesn't help (I swear I'm not humblebragging) that my dick is kinda thick, wish it was a little slimmer. You mentioned cock rings but then said this. Does she find your dick too thick? A properly sized cock ring will make your dick bigger (in terms of girth, not length) and more veiny. It can still be a pleasurable experience, just be aware of what you're getting into. Also, try out the sizing during masturbation if you do want to experiment with cock rings. Too small can be painful and prevent you from actually ejaculating. Not a fun thing to discover during sexy times. Lastly, vibrating cock rings can be fun and remove the need for someone to be holding a vibe to her clit. They won't do much for constriction, but that's not the point with those. Also, just something that seems to have been missed, are you talking and doing poo poo besides rubbing her sore? Like, there's more to sex than the clit and glans. Not saying you've been ignoring this aspect, but it has been completely absent from your description of things. Fake edit: You said you're "shaped wrong". I take this to mean your dick is
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Dec 10, 2016 09:28
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Turkey Farts posted:I could use a condom recommendation. I've always used Lifestyles Ultra Sensitives (the black and green box), because they're cheap and work out fine. How cheap? ~10 bucks for a 40 pack at Target. your friend a dog posted:how do i cum Youtube tells me that bananas and butts are the go to method right now.
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Mar 6, 2017 23:13
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jiffypop45 posted:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3773996 Exactly, this was the first hit on Google. Sounds like a good thing? But this has little to do with the good thing that is sexy times.
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Aug 9, 2017 04:14
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Jedit posted:Borat, the Sacha Baron Cohen character and movie of same name. So basically it's used solely by manchildren who think anti-Semitism and racial stereotypes are funny. Really?  I use it because of this thread. Posters here started using it to differentiate from pure PiV.
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Aug 9, 2017 16:55
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Oenis posted:(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-ejaculate warning: My favorite part of Wikipedia is all the weirdos that take pictures of their junk for it. Like, there's a category of pictures called "Close-up photography of human penises" with 67 images (and one of them looks like several seconds from an amateur porn).
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Nov 17, 2017 21:55
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Hyperlynx posted:Seems super duper unconformable to bend your dick down like that Unless you're the ~20% of the dicked population that bends down. 
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Feb 25, 2018 06:45
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Hyperlynx posted:Huh. I don't think so. The angle of the non-dangle has to do with a ligament that connects the boner to the pubic bone. Since ligaments provide tension but no compression force, I think it stands to reason that a dick that points down can be bent up should the need arise. Consider your own dick and how easy it is to point more up than to bend it down. QED Also, I always gently caress up the distribution on downward facing dongs. About 25% are angled below the horizon, but only ~5% are 30 degrees or more below the horizon.
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Feb 26, 2018 03:53
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I know buttstuff is always the answer, but what about when it isn't working? Is it more one her (and her butt) or me (and my dick)? I know that she really, really likes it when it works out, but, of the couple of times we've attempted it, the success rate is below .500. For myself, I know I've had issues keeping it up through the prep work and allowing her to take the lead. Even when I am able to stay at attention, what gets her off does nothing for me (besides, you know, the enjoyment of getting her off), and what does get me to finish, isn't her cup of tea. Lastly, I should say that I've really enjoyed everything we've been doing; it's just this one thing.
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Aug 20, 2018 10:04
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Geoj posted:As a recent convert to buttstuff and as a guy who also has issues keeping it up during prep, set up your towels or whatever you're using to keep the bed clean before starting, and start your foreplay by getting her ready. My wife bought a silicone ice cube tray that makes long, narrow ice cubes that are intended to be dropped into a water bottle with a thin neck (like this) and made coconut oil "pellets" that we insert at the very beginning. This way you don't have to worry about stopping and re-applying lube as much during. Depending on your size you may want to look into getting her a plug to wear during everything leading up to anal so she's already warmed up. And if you can't last long enough to get her off use a dildo or other toy on her to completion after you're done. Her wearing a plug before getting to it actually did make it easier. Unfortunately, what I failed to really articulate was: hoobajoo posted:If you don't like anal though, idk, sex is always hard if one person isn't into it, so if there's any way you can make anal more enjoyable for yourself that's what would help the most once you got the prep work down. And buttstuff's like anything else, you suck at it at first, then get better with practice and feedback. Which is a problem, because it's the only option for penetrative sex we have (neither of us are all that into oral). I guess it might've been better if I just started off by asking how do I get into anal and make feel good for me*? Alternatively, I could accept that we just won't do penetrative sex, which is just what's been happening. *Because, as I posted earlier, it's already amazing for her.
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Aug 22, 2018 08:59
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Geoj posted:Can you describe what your issue with it is? Just doesn't appeal to you, doesn't feel good or you have some kind of mental block (like its dirty, but not in a good way)? It just doesn't feel good physically. In the act it's enjoyable but not something easily leads me to finish. Kinda like receiving oral.  I know I'm a bit in the minority on that one.
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Aug 24, 2018 19:34
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Grandmother of Five posted:Thanks Ya know, I feel like boobs are very different than balls. In that boobs feel good when touched and balls don't, but, hey, prove me wrong.
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Oct 2, 2018 07:48
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I was asking for a friend, btw, who doesn't believe it when I gave her the correct answers. She is saying also that the balls are like boobs, but hanging off a guy's thing?? and I'm not saying she is right or wrong about that, but if anyone has heard different I could easily pass it along.
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That's hosed up. Hope she was able to get it somewhere else, cause I assume that a strongly worded letter does not get things going fast enough. So, how do you be a good sadist/person-that-hits-another-person-cause-they-really-like-it? I know that I need to work on whipping, but what about the soft skills of managing the scene and trusting that your partner knows to go green, yellow, or red?
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Jun 16, 2019 20:49
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Electric Bugaloo posted:The sub is always in control. Establish that and re-establish it and keep re-establishing and repeating it and taking breaks when somebody feels uncomfortable. As the dom, err on the side of being uncomfortable and conservative. You can always do something harder or with more kayfabe next time but it’s harder to come back from a crossed line. Like with anything else sex-related, the more practice you get the smoother and faster everything moves and the less stage-setting you’ll need. Well, being uncomfortable ain't gonna be an issue, but my check-ins were. Like, I (finally) get a good hit in and spend a minute making sure she's fine. For what it's worth, I do mean S/M over D/s in mindset. It's bondage for the feeling, not for the actual helplessness. I tried playing with a dom aspect, and just got laughter response.
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Jun 17, 2019 01:08
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Forgot to pop in and say thanks to all for the advice. I feel a bit better about the next time we do this, especially because this isn't exactly something I've looked into doing but know that she likes her kink a fair bit.Shwqa posted:All of the other advice was super duper important and solid but here is some other tips. I have only really started taking things seriously and taking classes for the past two years so it is mostly basic stuff. Well, that's certainly not a concern why would we ever be out in public? *checks notes, sees EXHIBITIONIST circled and triple underlined* God damnit quote:5) Floggers are pretty similar to the mechanics of a flail. The energy you put into the swing doesn't just stop after the hit. You want to keep the swing going into a good rhythm for another hit or slow it down away from your partner. Also take some practice hits just slightly out of range of your partners body to warm up. Your much more likely to hit your actual targets and it does add to the play. Even 30+ year masters still take practice swings. Yeah, I've only using my hands and the floggers that she's made. It took until the second round for me to get used to her floggers, so warming up sounds about right. quote:7) Communication as always is key. Communication is another fun tool that adds to play and keeps your partner safe. Stuff like "Time for some warm up hits", "Now I'm going harder", "Just ten more hits", and "This last one is going to be hard" can let your partner know what to expect and get them in a good head space. This was something I was having a lot of problems with. I just couldn't wrap my head around how to sound "controlling" while, you know, not being in control. Electric Bugaloo posted:~more good advice~ Yeah, I get that. The two things that need to be improved from last time was: too much checking in and no marks. Both of those I can work on for next time, but the later is probably something we should both work out as well.
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Jun 25, 2019 21:05
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Turtlicious posted:LMao if you're not in a committed relationship with an asexual so you have to find increasingly dark and forbidden tomes to get yourself off lmbo if your ace partner isn't the one sending you those tomes
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Nov 27, 2019 18:24
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Why not a voice changing mask instead? Much better than a sound board.
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Jan 20, 2021 19:36
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KillHour posted:Caring is different though. Caring is a lot more effort than pretending to care. But pretending to care is honestly good enough for 90% of casual human interaction*. Actually telling someone you're objectifying them is breaking that illusion and treating them as an object, so that's bad. Pretending to care about someone for sex is kinda hosed up, op. Outside of this discussion about chasers, it's kinda hosed up.
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Nov 16, 2023 19:09
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