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Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder

Update Seventeen: Muscling On

I decided to not wait for the right town and just show Annihilator's Wanted entry in the Satcom.

Anyway, time to begin today's hunt.

(Click here for video of the bossfight.)

Looks like a building, right? If we try to enter, though, the screen starts to shake.

Red Mobster isn't too bad, though he hits like a truck. He has a single-target attack, Pincer.

After a while, he will enter shelter by hiding inside his building shell.

While in Shelter, he's hard to hit. This is why we packed shells that can do it. He'll also fire off an all-targeting sonic cannon.

If you think you can just trust Muffle Armor and chuck grenades, though, he can be tricky, because he'll also occasionally use an all-targeting missile attack.

Still, we pull out the win.

We head in for repairs, though I screw up by not also grabbing a nap to heal the party, and get 24,000G for taking out Red Mobster. We also learn that the Brigand is the new target. Time to head out and hunt down Optimus Swine.

(Click here for the boss fight.)

Optimus Swine is found in this area in a random encounter. He can be hard to find sometimes, but for me, it was the first one.

He'll run away at low health, so you want to use /RUN...and this is where my mistake came in. See, he likes to use his sub gun, which targets everyone.

Max would've died without his Protector. That's what they're for, though! And from there, it wasn't too complex. He lacks to use a single-target tackle that can damage parts, though.

Eventually Optimus Swine will go out of range, and then he'll start to use his Piglet Missile.

This hits everyone for low damage. Once he's back in range, he also likes to single-target bite, which can also damage parts.

Anyway, we finish off the robopig without too much trouble.

We get a new email when that's done - we've taken down enough Outlaws for our next challenger, who will be waiting along with the others.

We get 14,000G for Optimus Swine. Now it's time to hunt down Daidarabotchi in the Giant's Pass. While there, we pick up some loot.

Enemies in Giant's Pass

These things, unlike their predecessors, are fast. They will wipe out entire encounters - both your enemies and your tank SP. Annoying.

These guys are just good grind material.

(Click here for the boss fight.)

Daidarabotchi hits hard. You want to use /RUN on him because at low health he will flee. Before then, however, he will step on one target for heavy damage.

He can also flick a single target.

And he can cause an earthquake by jumping, hitting everyone for good damage.

However, all of that is no trouble. Just keep shooting. When he reaches his HP threshold to run away, he will, however, use a new attack. He will shoot a laser that deals upwards of 1500 damage to everyone.

So it's gonna kill at least your dog. But hey, once that's done, Daidarabotchi will just stand around uselessly because of /RUN!


So, now we need to get our dead party members taken care of.

(Click here to watch the cutscene.)

We're interrupted by an explosion sound and screen-shaking.

: Wh-What was that!?
: Doctor, sounds come from outside.
: Hurry, Igor! We have to find out what happened.
: Yes, Doctor.

Biff: Aha! You must be Dr. Martin!
: ......
: ......
Montoya: Watch it, bro. I think we totally spooked these squares!
: (Should I correct him?) ...What do you want?
Biff: Heh, we don't want nothin' from you, we just need that machine, there!
: What!?
Biff: You hand it over and we won't do nothing... But, if you don't... ...It's gonna get painful, you follow me?
Montoya: drat we're cool, bro!

Biff: Huh...? Y-You hired a hunter? Dammit! How'd you know we were comin'!?
Montoya: Let's get 'em!
Biff: I really didn't want to hurt you... But that's the only way, now!
: This is your fight, Max. If anything happens, I'll fix you right up...
Biff: Yer not ready for this!

These two idiots are no challenge. They can take hits well, but they can't even deal any damage.

: Were you really expecting that much from them?
: Hmph... No.
: I'm pretty sure that only the doctor can use the machine, anyway. It wouldn't do us much good...
: Boss doesn't seem too interested in this, either.
: Saves us time trying again, then! Shall we go back, now?
: Yeah, let's go.

: ......
: Taking my machine wouldn't have done them any good... Only I can use it. At least I have fresh bodies to experiment on now!

With that handled, we can get Misha and Iggy revived.

I also notice we've got the stuff for a new weapon. A really good weapon.

This trades for a 165mm Ghost, which is more powerful than any Main Gun we have so far...and is also much lighter, weighing a single ton. We also get 50,000G for taking out Daidarabotchi. Then, it's back to the desert near Giant's Canyon.

The Tiger is a Nazi Tiger I heavy tank. It is the first tank we've gotten to have two hardpoints for sub guns, and it's impressively defensive - moreso even than the Wild Bus or Barbarossa. It replaces the Wild Bus, which is left in Junkyard. We don't have powerful enough engines - yet - to handle two sub guns.

Now, we head for a forest east of Dowan. We can get an E3 chip there, but the important thing isn't that.

This is.

(Click here to watch the cutscene.)

Muscle Man: There's no need for you to worry. Marco is training hard in the tenets of Gluteus Maximism.
Girl: ...Can't I see him in person?
Muscle Man: I trust you understand that our believers must cut all ties to the outside world in order to properly train their bodies...
Girl: B-But--! He never even came back to tell me... He could have at least let me know he was going to join!
Muscle Man: The choice was hist to make. There's nothing you can do, now.
Girl: Please, you have to tell him that I came!

Muscle Man: However, hearing from a loved one might help in Marco's training. If you ever come back, please bring a letter and we will give it to him.
Girl: Why can't you just tell him right now!?
Muscle Man: I'm sorry, it's against our rules. Please, be on your way.

We can talk to the guards now that we have control.

Muscle Guard: Training, level 4! Begin!

Muscle Guard: That was amazing! Absolutely fantastic! Join us, my young friend! With your bulging biceps and your chiseled abs, you'll quickly advance through the ranks!

The Mr. Stud Medal has a perfectly chiseled adonis etched on it. It is "24 inches in diameter... It's like wearing a chrome rim around your neck!"

(Click here for the cutscene.)

Muscle Man: Here, we study the truths of Gluteus Maximism.

Muscle Man: Fantastic! Under the teachings of our own Father Muscle, we shall nurture the flower of love and bonding between our hearts! Now, allow me to show you around our glorious home, my brother!

Muscle Man: By the way, are you carrying weapons or armor? If you are, we'll need to hold on to them for you. There's no need for weapons here at the Cathedral.

Muscle Man: It sounds like Father Muscle is about to speak! Let's go listen.

Executive Believer: Let us all carefully head what he has to impart.

: Since there are new members with us today, I'd like to touch upon the fundamentals of Gluteus Maximism. On the basic level, our beliefs are quite simple... "Our world is a wilderness where only the buffest survive. That makes it necessary to diligently train and build our bodies to perfection. Healthy spirits dwell within hot, muscular bodies. This is the first step on the pathway to world peace." As I said, these things are quite simple. When one trains his body, he becomes attuned to his physical being. In turn, this captures the attention of others. In such a way, we will connect all of mankind with bonds of love. Why did the Great Destruction occur? It's because sin and ego clouded our focus on that which is important: the gentle sheen of sweat on a set of finely-shaped abdominals... As people lost their way, they began to harm one another. But, in focusing on themselves instead of their bodies, people did not realize that they were putting the world around them at risk. The Great Destruction was born of the hollow, weak souls of man. Though many years have passed, fear still exists in that legend. It left a scar on this planet which cannot be erased. In order to avoid repeating the mistakes of our ancestors, and in order to fill this world with our love, we should... Nay, we MUST continue training our bodies and minds in the glorious ways of Gluteus Maximism! You there, in the center. You're a new believer, are you not? Were you still able to comprehend the message of my sermon?

: Wonderful! You have quite a bit of potential.
: Why don't you attempt taking the executive test? The length of time you have believed makes no difference... All that matters is that your heart and mind can FEEL the truth. With feeling comes understanding of our ways.
: If you do wish to take the test... Please come to my room on the cathedral's highest floor.

Well, that all seems reasonable to me! So why don't we do that.

(Click here to watch the ending!)

: How wonderful. I don't think it will be very difficult for you. I'll have someone take you to the right place.
: You! Please show this young man to the testing area.

One of the guards steps forward.

Executive Believer: Yes, Father Muscle.

Guy: Sir!
Girl: Understood!

Specifically, weird machine noises.

Guy: What a great lecture! Gluteus Maximism is mad awesome to the max!
Girl: Can you believe Father Muscle? He's such an amazing person!
Executive Believer: You both come through with flying colors! Remember to continue training your heart and body.
Guy and Girl: Of course! Thank you, brother.

They head out.

Executive Believer: Now for the next group. Please, step inside.

Max lived life as a devoted follower of Gluteus Maximism. Every day, he and the party followed a strict ascetic code: "Wake up, eat six pounds of ground hamburger. Do sit-ups. Go to the gym and work upper body. Jog five miles. Do push-ups. Eat a sensible lunch. Flex in the mirror and adjust afternoon jog accordingly. Go back to the gym to work lower body. One-hundred squat thrusts. Participate in steak-eating contest (dinner). Then continue light exercise until bed." So it is written; so shall it be done. Thanks be to bod.

Check the video if you want to see the end-of-run statistics. You won't regret it.

Diary Entries

Next time: What if we didn't do that?

Also, vote on a name for the Tiger!


Oct 18, 2013

I vote the Tiger be renamed to Timurid

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012


Come on.
Now you have to show us what happens when you drag Rashid and Kiriya along.

Jan 14, 2010

Mad Duck Swagger

I love Gluteus Maximism so much.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.

Grimey Drawer

Hobbes would be a good name for a tiger.

Also any game with buff musclepeople is great. And they're even equal opportunity!

Nov 24, 2007

What? It seemed like
a good idea at the time.

"Thanks be to bod." Holy hell. Now we just need the shaking gif, maybe shopped with MuscleMax there, with [EXERCISING INTENSIFIES].

Jan 21, 2014

Finally the Muscle part of the game.
Going for Hobbes

Sep 11, 2001

At the end of everything, hold onto anything

Fun Shoe

Definitely Hobbes

Derek Barona
Dec 7, 2009


There can be no other option than Hobbes

Aug 15, 2009


If we get a m4 sherman that should be named Calvin

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry

"Thanks be to bod." is the best little phrase.

Aug 18, 2010

Of course Hobbes and since there isn't a Tiger skin, give it the Cheetah one.

your evil twin
Aug 23, 2010

"What we're dealing with...
is us! Those things look just like us!"

"Speak for yourself, I couldn't look that bad on a bet."

This is so drat brilliant.

And yeah, check the video. I loved the fact they did slightly different muscle bodies for each of your party members, it's even better seeing them animated.

Feb 11, 2014

Girl you like them plants?

This game (and as an extension, this LP) is brilliant. The humor, the gameplay, everything makes this an enjoyable experience.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder

I have not forgotten about you guys - I just spent most of last week on vacation. Expect an update by Saturday.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder

Update Eighteen: Ultimate Muscle

We pick up after the Muscle Sermon from last time. But first, some guys we killed last time.

Moving on...

Marco: Let's train hard and do our best to be fervent believers.
: ......
Marco: Oh, me? I've always been a loner... Never had any real purpose. But, ever since I learned about Gluteus Maximism, I've been a new man! Right now I'm training to become an executive believer.

Now, we can get a Noise Grenade from the back of the room, then head out.

This room has a Noise Grenade and Nutcracker.

Muscle Man: ...It took me a while to experience it.

Here, we can get an Intruder, a nice gun that hits sheltered enemies. Right now, it should be noted, we have none of the equipment we'd been wearing. You can avoid this by stripping down before you enter the place, but I didn't. So we're running on spare protectors and spare guns.

There's Muffle Armor, Juice, a Big Medal, a Tile Pack L and an Energy Capsule in the lockers. Upstairs, we can find a Maximism. This is the monthly magazine of the muscle-conscious, and it features Father Muscle's column and pictures of muscle men and muscle women posing. There's also a Sonic Blaster in a closet.

Muscle Guard: But, training your heart and mind are more difficult... The fact you can't see them opens unlimited possibilities!

We can get Photo 7 in here, which is a woman and the message 'Come home once in a while.'

(Click here for the cutscene.)

This scene goes mostly as before.

: How wonderful. I don't think it will be very difficult for you. I'll have someone take you to the right place.
: You! Please show this young man to the testing area.

Guy: Sir!
Girl: Understood...

: ......
There are sounds coming from the room next door.
: ......!?
Guy: What a great lecture! Gluteus Maximism is mad awesome to the max!
Girl: Can you believe Father Muscle? He's such an amazing person!
Executive Believer: You both came through with flying colors! Remember to continue training your heart and body.
Guy and Girl: Of course! Thank you, brother.

And this is where it changes.

Executive Believer: ...It's too late! You've already come this far... There's no escape.

And they decide to try to fight us. Now, we're naked and armed with what we found in closets upstairs, but...

This has the side effect of making us very, very fast. We get two full turn cycles before they even move, so...they get stomped. We can get a Big Medal from the room and then head back.

Now we get our stuff back! If we had stripped everything off before entering, this box would contain a Big Medal. We didn't, so it doesn't.

When we head upstairs, we end up on the bottom floor.

Muscle Man: a body-building contest properly sanctioned by Father Muscle.

So, we head upstairs.

We'll be running into these guys a few times on our way up. Masked Muscles use a sonic attack when they pose, but we have Muffle Armor.

These ladies can buff enemies, but it's nothing to worry about.

When these guys pose, they lower your defense. Again, no problem.

And this is Father Muscle's door.


(Click here for the boss fight.)

: ...Such a waste. This is truly a pity.
: You're quite brilliant for your age. I could tell when we first met. You could have been my right-hand man, and together we could have created a perfect world.
: But, I see you will never understand.

Father Muscle is much bigger than he looks. He can use several attacks. His F Double Biceps cause sonic damage to a single target.

His Most Muscular hits the entire party and is going to wreck at least one Muffle Armor, sadly.

He has a lot of HP, but I've got grenades stocked up.

: How could the writings of St. Arnold have proven false...? ...Turboflex, why have you forsaken me!?

We head back to Dowan to get 30,000G for taking out Father Muscle, and also to get some curry.

: The ingredients didn't cost me much, so I was able to lower the price.

When he's in Dowan, his curry is only 150G. Always worth it. Now, a while ago, we got an email from Doctor Palm asking us to be his friends. So, I think we've put that off long enough. He lives south of Dowan.

: You no longer collect scrap metal, worthless human. Dr. Palm will be lonely again, soon.

: It's embarrassing to admit this, but I've only had one friend in my life. Since I moved here, I've been feeling kinda lonely. If you don't mind, could we be friends? I'll even build you a tank!

: Really!? Wow, I'm so happy! You're my first friend since I moved here! By the way, I give all my friends nicknames! Don't you think it's better that way!?

: Grease Monkey! Wow, that name suits you well! I'll call you that from now on! And, we don't need to be so formal anymore, since we're friends. Grease Monkey! Hahahaha, it's perfect!

: I've been waiting for a chance to use your nickname, Grease Monkey!

: Hahahaha! Hi, Grease Monkey! Remember, I owe you a favor: I said I'd make you a tank! All you need to do is design it, first! OK, Grease Monkey!?

We head into the next room to get a Big Medal, and when we get back...

(Click here for the cutscene.)

: As I said, I'll supply the scrap metal and pay for the labor.
: My dear, money isn't the issue here!
: Now, if you agree to be my friend, then that's a different story! I'll make a tank for you whenever you like!
: Does that mean accepting whatever silly nickname you decide to give me?
: Hahahaha! Of course! That's what friends do!
: ...Oh, please.
: B-But, Rosa...
: ...I know, I know. Just let me think for a minute.
: No problem! I'm not gonna twist your arm. It's completely up to you! Hahahaha!
: ...Please excuse me.

Now we can talk to Dr. Palm again.

: Now, let's design your new tank, Grease Monkey! Don't worry, I'll take care of the details! You just have to tell me what you like! I mean, I'm already aware that you don't know the first thing about tanks! So I'll do all the thinking for you, Grease Monkey! That's what friends are for, right Grease Monkey!? Shall we begin?

My best guess for the Roulbel is that it's the Lulubelle and is named after a tank from the movie Sahara, which was an M3 Lee, an American WW2 tank. However, not totally certain. The Rommel is a Nazi Jagdpanther, a tank destroyer. The Abrams is an M1 Abrams, a US main battle tank from the 80s. The Type Zero is a Type 90 Kyu-maru, the JSDF main battle tank which is from the 90s. The Leopold is Leopard, a West German main battle tank from the 60s. Probably. There have been several German tanks named the Leopard, and it could be any of them, I don't know.

: I'll select the C Unit and engine for you, Grease Monkey! Feel free to change them if you don't like them! Alright, let's beef up your arsenal next, Grease Monkey! I can equip the tank with a main gun, a sub gun, and one piece of special equipment. Just let me know what you prefer, Grease Monkey.

So that's what SE stands for.

: Wow, that was random, Grease Monkey! Your taste is really, um, well... Oh, never mind. It's your tank, Grease Monkey! But it'll require a lot of scrap metal. I'll need 40.60 tons. Collecting that much should be a breeze for you, though!

The only thing that changes with your choices in that dialogue is how much scrap metal he needs.

Now! Vote on what tank you want and its name! Don't bother to vote on the weapons.

Mors Rattus fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Jun 27, 2014

Oct 18, 2013

I vote for the Type Zero and to name it Knightmare.

Sep 14, 2007

What is this thread?

Ramrod XTreme

The Lulubelle has two Main mounts, which I find entertaining if you can scrounge up a studly enough engine.

e: Call it Matilda, though.

Derek Barona
Dec 7, 2009


Blackunknown posted:

I vote for the Type Zero and to name it Knightmare.


Arcade Rabbit
Nov 11, 2013

Blackunknown posted:

I vote for the Type Zero and to name it Knightmare.


Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.

Grimey Drawer

Seconding the Type Zero but call it the Kamikitei, or however you'd say God Ground/Earth/whatever.

Feb 19, 2010

I vote for Abrams but someone else will have to come up with a name.

Nov 24, 2007

What? It seemed like
a good idea at the time.

gyger posted:

I vote for Abrams but someone else will have to come up with a name.


Aug 4, 2007

Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!

ArcMage posted:

The Lulubelle has two Main mounts, which I find entertaining if you can scrounge up a studly enough engine.

e: Call it Matilda, though.

I'll second this, it sounds fun.

Dec 21, 2012


I can't understand these kinds of games, and not getting it bugs me almost as much as me being weird

Lees are the cutest tanks

Lulubelle, and name it Bogey

Jul 27, 2009

Lee because it has the most dakka.

Tuxedo Ted
Apr 23, 2007

ArcMage posted:

The Lulubelle has two Main mounts, which I find entertaining if you can scrounge up a studly enough engine.

e: Call it Matilda, though.

Ditto. I won't be happy until we have two main guns firing like crazy.

Sep 11, 2001

At the end of everything, hold onto anything

Fun Shoe

ArcMage posted:

The Lulubelle has two Main mounts, which I find entertaining if you can scrounge up a studly enough engine.

e: Call it Matilda, though.

You can't go with any other option. Two main guns is just hilarious.

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry

I love that "I'll make you a tank if you let me call you a silly name" is throwing up such obstacles for people.

Mar 26, 2005

E: Actually, make that a vote for the Type Zero.

Jun 11, 2014

Am I a mouse dreaming I'm a cat, or a scratching post dreaming I'm a bowl of wet food? Never assume what you see and feel is real!
Mmm... wet food...

The choice is clear! Only the might Lulubelle is goofy enough for this thread, and her name should be... Doublemint, for the guns are twins.

Dec 26, 2006

Lulubelle because I'm a minmaxing rear end in a top hat and a ton of slots and low chassis weight means a ton of ways to make it broken in half.

Besides, it's already got a fantastically goofy name. What's not to love?

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011



Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder

Update coming next week -I've been delayed by job hunting and graduation party prep work.

Oct 11, 2013

Arguing about Lore for 5 years and counting

Man but I love this silly rear end game.
I guess that the best chance for the newer games to come to this side of the pond would be Atlus.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder

Update Nineteen: Wait, It's Been How Long?

We're back after over a month! Sorry for the delays, folks!

So, we've ended up going for the Roulbel/Lulubelle.

: The tank you designed requires 41.91 more tons of scrap metal! We'll have to postpone making it until you bring me enough! Postpone, Grease Monkey! Ya hear me? Postpone! Anyhow, good luck finding more scrap metal, Grease Monkey!

So, we're going to need a hell of a lot of scrap metal.

And right now? We're out. Time to grind. Imagine the events of this update interspersed between half hour spurts of grinding. We're going to take care of a few loose ends. First, it's time to head back to Junkyard.

(Click here for the fight and cutscenes.)

Lloyd: Does that mean you accept my challenge?
: Max...

Option 2 makes Lloyd go away forever. Don't do that. Option 3 lets you back out of the decision for now. We take Option 1.

Lloyd: Sure are! I figured you'd be ready to face me...
: ...Hey, if there's gonna be trouble, take it outside.
: ......
Lloyd: ...... Outside it is, then!

Lloyd: But, I gotta beat you to make a name for myself.

Lloyd opens with a grenade meant to take out your protector and do some damage. It does, but it's the best he's got. Everything else he can throw at us is harmless - we're a bit overprepared. He'll shoot us with his machinegun...

But even without our protector it can't hurt us.

: This a perfect sample for Dr. Mortem.

Oh, and here's Father Muscle.

Once that's done, we can head back inside. Lloyd is replaced by Duke, our next challenger, but we're not ready for Duke. Fortunately, Rosa also has a challenge for us.

(Click here for the cutscene.

Again - Option 2 makes her go away forever, Option 3 backs out of the choice. Option 1 is our choice.

: OK, then. Meet me outside, at the town entrance.

: So that's Arthur's daughter... A tank duel, hm? That's pretty flashy.
: ......
: Max! You can't lose to a girl like her!

Once we head out to the entrance...

(Click here for the fight!)

: Then, we shouldn't waste any more time...

: Khamsin. Tiger. Sam. Looks like you've really expanded your horizons. ...Here I come!

Sebastien opens by getting out of range, where he will spend most of the fight. While there, he won't attack. You should use all the attacks you have that will hit him while he's there.

Lockdown will shut down the two tanks for most of the fight, rendering them utterly harmless and ignorable. Once they've been taken out, Sebastien will return to normal range and begin attacking. He is easily as capable of hurting us as the tanks, but he can actually attack. (Actually, more capable - the tanks like to use Sub Gun, which can't damage us, over their Main Gun, which can.) Sebastien uses his Concussion Wave, which isn't much of a threat but can hurt.

Yeah, apparently Rosa's butler knows anti-tank kung fu.

: ...But, next time, I won't lose!

So that's taken care of. While here, I stop by for a chat with Emily.

: They say you defeated 20 wanted criminals! ...Is that really true?
: But, be careful, OK? That all sounds pretty dangerous.

Once we leave, Rosa sends us an email.

We'll deal with her rematch later. Meanwhile, on our next scrap delivery...

: *mumble mumble*
: You can do it, Rosa!
: M'lady, this is an ordeal you must endure...

Rosa apparently hasn't given up on getting that tank from Dr. Palm. The next time we stop by...

: Really!? Well then, let me think of a nickname for you right now! Hmm, let me see...
: ......
: How about Princess!?
: What!? You jerk!

The screen flashes and there is a slapping sound effect, and Rosa is gone. I can only assume that in the Japanese this was much more rude or something? Either that or Rosa's really, really uptight.

: You really are something else! Hahahaha!

For our next day trip, we take a ride on the train. We're finally ready to clear out the Casino of enemies for good.

(Click here for the fights and cutscenes!)

: *chucle* Patience, Marceau.
: Why? I'm too young for patience!
: Look, we have a new audience.
: Oh, you're right! Smells like a hunter, too!
: Marceau, let us entertain them with our magnificent performance, shall we?
: OK! It's showtime!

Puppetmaster never attacks directly. Marceau will, but needs a turn to ready whatever weapon he plans to use for the first time. After that, he can use it continuously until he switches weapons. You can take out either one to win, but I'm going for Puppetmaster.

Marceau Missile hits everyone for weak damage - not enough to be a threat. He uses Breath Standby to switch weapons when Puppetmaster is about to die, but we take them out before he can do anything.

If you beat Marceau, you don't get this cutscene.

: Eeheehehee!
: ...!
: I was controlling that old guy, not the other way around! But since he's all washed up, I'll just find a new one!
: I'll deal with you first, of course. Don't worry... I'll end it quickly!

You also don't get the second fight against Marceau.

Marceau no longer needs to ready his weapons - and when his HP gets low, he will happily use his Marceau Freeze ice breath.

It's very painful, but single-target. I only saw it when he was about to die, so I only saw it once.

: Ugh... Uh... Wh-Where am I? What's going on? ...Who are you?
: ......
: *gasp* This puppet! I found it sitting outside my house... But, that's all I remember... Wait a minute... What happened after that?
: Hey you, don't try 'n play dumb.
: Wh-What are you talking about!? My name is Joe. I'm just an ordinary guy!
: ......
: What? You don't believe me!?
: Eeheehehee! Give this old guy a break! He's telling the truth!
: ...!
: *gasp* It, it talked! The puppet talked!
: Oh, get over it! What kind of doll doesn't talk these days, huh? Although, I am especially well made! It's more convenient to have a human carry me, as opposed to walking around on my own, so I occasionally trick someone and take over their body! While they're under my control, they don't remember a thing! But, I screwed up big this time! I can't believe I lost to a hunter... Eeheehehee! Oh well...

And Marceau vanishes. I guess that solved the problem?

: ......
: ......

Yep! Problem solved.

We get an 18000G reward, and a rather inexplicable cutscene if we visit the head conductor. Also, at this point, the Casino can be freely used again.

Conductor: No need to call me "sir." When I'm on the train, I'm just the conductor, not the president of the Continental Railroad.
Attendant: Y-Yes, sir! I mean, um, I'm sorry, sir! Um, I'll get back to work now!

Huh. Once we head back to Dr. Palm's...

: ......
: ......
: No, that's alright. This is my battle.
: Are you sure?
: That's very admirable of you, m'lady.

Once we've got enough scrap...

(Click here for the cutscene.)

: I've been waiting for a chance to use your nickname, Grease Monkey!

: Grease Monkey! The scrap metal you so faithfully collected is finally gonna pay off!

Thursday deposits it on the conveyor.

: To tell ya the truth, Grease Monkey, since you designed this tank, I have absolutely no clue what will happen! Well, Grease Monkey, let's find out...! Switch on!

Scrap goes in...

...tank comes out.

: This process used to take forever, Grease Monkey! But these days, you just turn the switch, and voila! It's done! Advances in science are truly amazing, don't you agree, Grease Monkey!? Well, my advancement, at least! Hahahaha! The tank is all yours, Grease Monkey! Do whatever you like with it! Well, Grease Monkey! Why don't you give your new ride a name!?

: Matilda! Matilda, you say!? Hahahaha, that's perfect! Grease Monkey's Matilda! Hahaha, I love it! Well then, Grease Monkey! Why don't you take it for a spin!? If you get tired of it, come back anytime and I'll make you a new one! I mean, we're friends, aren't we!? Hahahaha!

At any time, you can return to Dr. Palm and hand back the tank. He will blow it and anything equipped to it up, then you can pick a new tank from the list, get him the scrap and drive off in it. His tanks come with the powerful Friend Engine, which is better than anything we have access to right now.

Matilda will replace the Barbarossa. As we head out, we get a new email.

Well, we'll deal with that soon. And if we stop back in, Rosa and crew are hanging out.

: I don't know how you can stand it!
: M'lady... If only I could take your place, I would do so in an instant.
: Oh, hi, Max. You know what? My sister still can't make up her mind...

Now then! If we head out westward from Dr. Palm's place and north a ways, we can find this camp.

It is right next to a bridge tat we'll cross later. This camp is notable, however, for its guns. Well, gun.

Specifically, the 220mm Gaea, the most powerful gun we have access to. It goes on our non-AA tanks. We can also grab the Strato Grenade (which hits enemies that are flying high) and the Hound Bomb (which hits stealthed enemies).

Enemies Near The Camp

(Click here for the fight.)

Puttering around this hole in the desert will start an event.

The Tank Eater helpfully leaves shelter to fight us. He has two attacks. The first, Spray Sand, is utterly harmless.

It lowers our Drive, but that won't significantly affect our ability to win this fight. Its other attack, Bite, is more dangerous.

Bite can do decent damage and damage parts. Still, this isn't a very hard fight.

We get 30000G for taking down the Tank Eater.

Next Time: Crossing the lake.

Mors Rattus fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Aug 2, 2014

Derek Barona
Dec 7, 2009


Evil puppets and an antlion. Sounds like a pretty typical day.

Also, it still amuses me that Rosa finds herself desperately incapable of letting someone call her by a nickname.

Oct 18, 2013

Good to see this back, my day is never complete without butlers who know anti-tank kung-fu. Keep on LPing Mors you magnificent Goon you.

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry

It's funny to watch Rosa try and be friends with Dr. Palm.


Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder

Update Twenty: Beautiful Lorelei Bay

And now, a bonus update, since I had some extra time today. So, why did we pick the Lulubelle? On the face of it, it isn't that great - one slot for each gun when we first get it.

However, when you go to a mod shop, you can modify a tank's mountings. The Lulubelle is able to have two Mains, two Subs and two SEs, you just have to pay to unlock the second slots for each. The second SE isn't really that useful, but two Mains and two Subs? That's great. Anyway, let's head to Dowan.

The ferry actually travels across the world map, which I think is neat. We are now in Lorelei Bay.

Mercenary: What happened? Well, let's see here... There's been a spree of burglaries, people have gone missing... It's a real mess! But, it might be a good chance for a hunter like you to make some money.

That it is. If we try to get a ferry back...

Ticket Seller: It appears that Dowan has been overrun with octopuses... They're reporting that an outlaw is on the loose, as well.

Huh. That sounds like a problem.

Worker: as opposed to going by boat?
Worker: Probably. But there's a wanted criminal near Lake Bridge...
Worker: That's right... Hey, remember that place south of Lake Bridge you can only get to by boat? You think there's anything valuable there?
Worker: Yeah, I heard that all the stuff floating on the ocean washes up there. So, there's gotta be something good there.

We can rob a Kastane and a Fiberglass Helm from the warehouse these two are in. The Kastane is a sword and a good upgrade for Misha. The Fiberglass Helm is the local head armor. If we head next door...

(Click here for the cutscene.)

Middle-aged Man: You should always do business in style. Right, Oliver?

Vulgar Man: Hey! What's with the friggin' scowl?
Middle-aged Man: Now, now. Don't be so hard on Oliver... Thanks to him... we're rich!
Young Man: Hehehe... That's right!
: ...!
Young Man: What's with the friggin' attitude, Oliver!? You wanna be back on the streets livin' like a friggin' dog!?
: ...Stop yelling at me. I know what I have to do, alright?
Middle-aged Mage: That's good, Oliver. Your lock pick keeps everyone happy... And rich! Hahahahaha!
Vulgar Man: Yeah, I have no friggin' idea how it works, but that friggin' lock pick can get us into any house we want! As long as we have that friggin' lock pick, we'll never have to worry about money again!
Young Man: Alright, enough talk. Let's get to work! We'll do a couple more houses before we head to the next town!

Once they leave, we can get some Thigh Boots, the local foot armor.

Worker: what will become of this town when the railroad is extended. I wonder if anyone will use this dangerous route anymore... We began developing the West so we could have some open space. But now, we're just building on top of each other. Maybe I should just move back to the East...

Housewife: My neighbors even moved away without telling me... It's a cold, cold world we live in.

At the garage, we can get some new guns.

Given its weight and the fact that the Wirbelwind can hold four mains, the 35mm AA Cannon brings antiair back into usability. The OHC Carmen is an upgrade even for the Friend Engine, so everyone gets one. Even so, we don't have the weight to handle more than 3 AA cannons. Truly, a sad day.

Repair Shop: They were excavated from all over the world. They're much higher in quality than the parts we make now. But, my dream is to one day replicate the excellence of those excavated parts.

We have some new outlaws to look at.

I hate that manta ray.

Mechanic: Something strange is going on in Dowan. We haven't been receiving any goods from the South lately, either... What the hell is going on?

That can't be good.

: ......?
Mechanic: ...? Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there. We just received a pretty complicated job, and it has me completely stumped. This guy wants us to make a specific vehicle part, but there's no way it'll come out right with these components. I was thinking about ways we could make it, and I must've wandered over here.
: ......
Mechanic: Well, it's a very important job. Our customer's life is at stake. He'll be in trouble if his vehicle breaks down while he's hunting monsters. No worries, though. I'll figure it out, someway, somehow. Then, when I'm done, I'll drown myself in some expensive spring water!

: You see how the town is built like a series of steps? That's because there used to be a mountain here. And as for the name Lorelei Bay... Someone picked that name for no apparent reason. Hahahahaha! Well, that's all I know. It was good seeing you!

McKinley's not being so helpful this time.

Boy: A huge lizard! And it could disappear! I saw it go in a building outside of town, but nobody believes me. Do you think it's on the wanted list?

In the bar, we can grab a Dog Tazer, a very good local weapon for dogs. It does electric damage and can hit stealthed, underwater or high altitude foes.

This guy will warn us that the monsters around Lorelei Bay tend to be flying. There's some Tin Tunas around here that can be hunted for money, and the southern desert is also good hunting, he says. Also, flying saucers haunt the bridge. The local waitress will allow the next level of drinking game, which is too hard for me - I can only get around 22 of the 24 drinks down in a minute.

Old Woman: Some say they've been abducted, but no one really knows, since no one's bothered to investigate. All we've got to go on are rumors.

Man: They don't exist anymore, though. From what I heard, the entire band was destroyed by one guy... ...the leader of the League of Uncivilized Barbarians. Y'know, I thought about joining the Rouge Rogues once, but now I'm glad I didn't. I guess you never know what'll happen in the future...

We grab some tunes from the jukebox. Upstairs, we can get Photo 5 from the economy suite in the inn. It's a phot of a woman meant for someone named Michael.

Man: My house was broken into twice... I even changed the lock after the first time! There's just no way to prevent a break-in... *sigh* What will we do?

Out and about, we can get a Big Medal near the weapon shop.

Worker: Are you headed north for Hell's Keep? If you are, you should stop by Fort Gears on the way. It's funny to listen to the townsfolk argue about humans and tanks.

Guy: They're members of a gang called the Denture Squad. All their members are old, so don't be caught off guard. This is their turf, so be careful!

No one told these guys that he's gone. If we succeed at this muscle guy's muscle dance, we get Petroleum Jelly. It's colorless, translucent and tasteless, and it makes muscles glisten. Nearby is the Skill Master. There's also a Big Medal behind the lighthouse.

Lock On raises accuracy, and Death Shot increases attack. Both are for Charlene. Concentration raises Defense and Shura raises Attack for Rashid. They're expensive but very, very good. Resurface is a skill for Mechanics that forces a machine enemy to stop being underwater. Nose Dive is one that makes all machine neemies stop flying out of range, so it replaces Crash Landing on Misha. Tracker is a dog skill that can unstealth foes, and Medicine Keg 3 is only for Bernie and is a healing skill.

Woman: We sell weapons here, as well, so be sure to have a look around.
: ......
Woman: Well, some of my men think they can sneak off to the bar during their breaks. So, it's my job to give them a kick in the rear end, and get them back to work. Hunters like you need good parts, right?
: ......
Woman: To run a successful shop, it's not enough to have just one skilled person. You need to have an entire team of skilled people. You also need the money to pay them what they're worth. Employees who feel valued produce the best work. We're so close to being able to replicate those excavated parts. That's why I need to keep my men in line. They can't be off drinking when there's work to do. I mean, those excavated parts won't last forever; eventually, they're going to run out. And when they do, we'll be the only shop that can replicate them!

In the home next door, we can grab a Big Medal and Photo 2. Photo 2 is from a woman to someone named Norman. Then it's off to the biggest house.

: What are you supposed to be? Some sort of hunter?

: No. I'm not a doctor. I work with mechanical bodies and cybernetic parts. And what I do is less like "treating" and more like "repairing."

Having asked this, we can now send gifts to Professor Grey.

: Cybernetics is the study of communications and control processes in biological and artificial systems. Prior to the Great Destruction, its most common application was the replacement of human body parts with mechanical and electronic equivalents. As the field of study progressed, its focus changed from creating substitute body parts to augmenting physical abilities. Unfortunately, nearly all of the documented research on the subject was lost during the Great Destruction. And, sadly, our current level of technology is nowhere near what it was back then. *sigh* If only I was alive during that time to experience it... Then again, I probably wouldn't have survived the Great Destruction. ...But, I digress... Say, working as a hunter, you must come across a lot of unusual items. Well, feel free to stop by when you find something of interest. I may be able to assist you in determining its value.

Specifically. Professor Grey can assemble the LOVE Machine from L, O, V and E circuits. We can also steal an old photo of a red-haired girl and her happy family from the professor's bedroom.

(Click here for the cutscene.)

: ......
Young Man: (Keep your mouth shut, dammit!)

: !
Grumpy Old Man: drat kids... Find somewhere else to play!

Naturally, that house is locked. If we head back to the warehouses...

(Click here for the cutscene.)

Middle-aged Man: Well, what are you going to do about this, Oliver?
: ......
Vulgar Man: What's that!? Can't hear ya!
Middle-aged Man: Come on, now. Tell me. How are you going to make up for your blunder?
: The... b-blunder? I d-didn't think I had done anything like all that... I mean, at l-least I didn't get caught, did I?
Young Man: True, he didn't see you pick the lock. But now the townspeople are very suspicious of us.
Vulgar Man: Yeah! Your friggin' mistake put a lotta heat on us!
Middle-aged Man: That's right. This would usually require some sort of punishment, but...'re just a kid. So, just hand over your lock pick, and we'll call it even.
: ...Oh.
Middle-aged Man: Hand over your lock pick.
: I d-don't think that's very fair at all! B-Because, my dad gave me this lock pick when he sat me down and gave me the lock-picking talk. I-It's very important to me for that reason.
Young Man: Oh, that's right... It's theo nly thing your old man left for you. Well, too bad! We don't give a drat who gave it to you!
Vulgar Man: We're only askin' you for one friggin' little thing. That ain't so bad, now, is it?
Middle-aged Man: Look, just give us the lock pick, and we'll let you go. OK?
: O-Okay, b-but can I have a quick question before you do that. C-Could you maybe tell me why you want the lock pick to begin with? I mean, I mean... It's for picking locks, so I guess that's why, but I was just wondering if maybe there was some other reason in addition to that.
Vulgar Man: Alright, then. Have it your way, wise guy!

...Run! The kid's a hunter!

: I was in a lot of trouble, so it's good you came along. Without you there, I don't think anyone would have come for me.
: ......
: You c-can have th-this, it's a one-of-a-kind lock pick, because there isn't another lock pick like it. That's why it's referred to that way. B-But, it's so good cause if you had a lock, right? Maybe you couldn't open it? Well, you can if you use this lock pick. It's good for any mechanical lock that you want to unlock, I guess.
: ......
: ...... It's a memento of my dad that he gave to me. I mean, I mean... I don't have anything else I can give you at the moment. I have a lot of stuff at home, but I d-don't think you want to walk all the way there to get it, s-so, I guess this is all I can give you.

And he gives us the lock pick. We can't even say no. I feel kind of bad about that.

: I'm gonna um... I think I'll take off before I get caught. I think that's all for today.

So, let's check out that locked house.


Old Woman: There there, dear. Take it easy. Don't get yourself so worked up. Good day to you.

We can steal some Fire Armor (the new Protector), a Big Medal, the 205mm Memo and the Silver Medal from this house. The 205mm Memo is how to assemble the 205mm Crimson, a tank gun - it's a Cylinder, a Crimson Trigger, some Testosterone and a mystery item. The Silver Medal icreases Courage by 50 on use (this does nothing) and can be sold for good money. Big Medals, incidentally, are 8 inches in diameter. They're big medals. Now, if we head back to Junkyard from here...

There was a locked house.

: ...Oh, it's you. I had a curious question. You know there is a repair shop here? And-and its owned by a woman. Well, she h-has a daughter and I h-heard that she might have a son. B-But don't you think it's weird he doesn't work there? I mean, you think that a boy would enjoy working with machines. B-Because wh-where I'm from, most mechanics are male, you know? Do you know why that is? I mean, g-girls can do it too, but not usually. Oh, y-you're from here? Really? This is your hometown? Th-Then, do you know about the repair shop? Why are they both girls? I-I'm sure they're very good, I was just wondering if it's a union thing. Wh-What? YOU'RE her son? W-Wow, that's interesting. When I m-moved to the East, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you. Wow... The son of a woman who runs a mechanic shop all by herself... And, you're a hunter? I might have some questions about that... ...No, that's all for today. Th-This is a very nice area to live in... I think I'll s-stay here a while to do some research on my own... Do y-you know about repair shops in other towns? Or m-maybe even Trader Camps...? B-Because I think the ones here are pretty god, b-but they're girls. And I th-thought this wasn't a common practice, but after being here I don't know who to trust.

When we head back to Lorelei Bay, we have to enter from the map, rather than the ferry. When we do, an old man bumps into us, spinning us around. Even if we're in a tank.

...Your wallet feels lighter.

Yeah, the old guy just stole half our cash. Anyway, we leave again, this time teleporting to Dowan and heading down to the bridge.

Enemies near the Bridge

(Click here for the cutscene and boss fight.)

: I am Man o' War, and to cross this bridge, you must fight me in a duel! If you lose, I shall seize your vehicle! But if you don't have one, then I shall take all of your weapons instead! My goal is to collect a thousand weapons. Why, you ask? I cannot tell you, or my wish will not be granted. Well then, do you accept my challenge?

: It's been a while since I faced my last challenger. No one uses this bridge anymore since they all fear me. But, no need to hold back!

Man o' War is tough. Not least because I went into this with damaged tanks. He has several attacks. Glaive is a single-target attack that deals good damage and can damage parts.

Shock Gun will target everyone with decent electrical damage.

Sonic Gun does the same with sonic damage.

He's a tough one, and deals out some nasty damage to us before he goes down.

: I wanted to become human... by offering a thousand weapons... to the gods.

And he falls over dead. Behind him, a tank is waiting.

The Rodina is some variety of Russian tank, probably the T-34, a Soviet medium tank from the 40s to the 60s. It's replacing the Tiger. Anyway, we head on and find our path blocked by a rusty old truck.

Now we can use the bridge to cross over the river between Lorelei Bay and Dowan. We head to Junkyward to drop off the Tiger.

Next Time: Getting paid and dealing with problems.


Diary Entries


Track 21: Battle 2mix (English)/MM2mix (Japanese)

Track 22: Out 'n About (English)/Win! Buy! Progress! (Japanese)

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