Current Events Thread: You know shit is bad when even we aren't joking.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Current Events Thread: You know shit is bad when even we aren't joking.

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Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

I dunno if this has been posted yet but lol DnD is already getting back to "this extremist group isn't actually bad and are basically the republicans of Egypt/Iraq/Syria"

The Brown Menace posted:

Not incorrect. I mean sure we'd all love to pretend that ISIS is the worst poo poo ever, and they actually are a strong contender, but ISIS is also very good at keeping up (sharia) law and order. They don't just randomly gently caress with people, and many of the freedoms they restrict are ones which the people they govern never used or intended to use anyway.

*img-severed head lying on rear end, teenager mag dumped on after drive by*

Tiny Timbs fucked around with this message at 03:08 on Jun 14, 2014

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 03:06

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:32

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

"They're ending freedoms no one was going to use anyway" is a new one to me and honestly makes me want to throw up a lil.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 03:12

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

It's really cool watching people argue for non intervention that aren't quite willing to say they're cool with teenagers chopping each others' heads for eternity with no one doing anything whatsoever about it.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 03:50

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

iyaayas01 posted:

I'm for non-intervention and I am completely cool with this.

In fact at least regarding Iraq/Syria at the moment my preferred foreign policy was best described in that article SS posted: �We�ll kill you if you mess with us, but otherwise go die�

Well duh, I just want to see someone say that they're ok with people killing each other like animals while the rest of the world does literally nothing without also talking about specific mistakes the administration made as if it could have been handled properly by a 17 year old goon with a few counter culture history novels under his belt.

Basically "all intervention is wrong besides my intervention".

Tiny Timbs fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Jun 14, 2014

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 05:19

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Would it still count as a human shield if it was a dead body

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 05:36

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

I'm still not sure how Libya is the perfect example of failed intervention DnD wants people to think it is.

Job Creator posted:

In response to ISIS slaughtering IA soldiers:

D&D is so cool

Haha I think shortly afterward someone tried to make the point that the US has simply become more bloodthirsty in the past few years which is why we never took prisoners in Iraq and Afghanistan (apparently).

Somewhere a carpet bombed Vietnamese kid is rolling in his little grave.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2014 04:50

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Paul MaudDib posted:

There's ample history of helicopters accepting surrenders, by the way. The Viet Cong were just as capable of disappearing back into the jungle, aircraft would just radio their location and soldiers would come and take them into custody.

You're not raising some issue that no one has considered before, the difference is we're just a lot bloodthirstier than we were even 30 years ago.

Like holy gently caress.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2014 05:42

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

chemosh6969 posted:

Pirates have been active in the Caribbean before that as well. I'm speaking of modern times and not Disneyland attractions. I know of at least the 1980s. They'd go after old rich people on vacation in their fancy boats, not the cruise ships.

Yeah but for real nobody ever gave a single poo poo about some loving millionaire and his trophy wife getting abducted off a yacht

# ¿ Jun 17, 2014 02:23

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

50 Foot Ant posted:

poo poo, didn't Libya or one of those other Middle East shitholes sponsor terrorists who jumped a loving cruise ship in like 85?

gently caress, there's always been piracy. Fishing boats off the coast of Washington/Oregon had to watch out for getting jumped by Chinese and Japanese ships, the Coasties used to sit in the tavern and bitch about it.

What I've wondered since this modern day Somalia pirate bullshit has started is why people keep painting the goddamn pirates as plucky underdogs just trying to make some money for their impoverished villages and poo poo.

Why the gently caress don't we have the Navy go out, take some loving Jarheads with them, and remind the motherfuckers why pirates quit hitting the US and the other nations.

Let's see how popular you are in your loving shithole, ragtag, built out of ocean flotsam garbage village when the Navy sits offshore and loving bombs the poo poo out you. After all, infrastructure and support areas are legal logistical targets. Afterwards, we just send in the goddamn Marines to mop up any piece of poo poo that remembered that sometimes people fight back and managed to run away like the little bitches they are.

Pull the goddamn Mighty-Moe out of loving storage, load it up with loving HE thermobaric, and bomb their barbaric shithole villages till there's nothing left but a base relief map of a goddamn anime watching teenage spergs face. Every time these lovely pirates in their loving stolen bullshit rear end outboard motor rowboats and stolen loving grape smuggler cigarette boats hit a loving ship, don't negotiate, don't do poo poo but just sit offshore and bomb them until they wave poo poo stained drawers over their head in surrender and beg to give back the goddamn prisoners.

The first world has been too goddamn nice to these loving savages for too loving long. We follow RoE, we try to rebuild the poo poo they destroy, we build them a loving hospital and they wreck the place then complain when their retard rear end gets ebola or whatever hellhole disease brewed up in the goddamn sewer they call a city. We try to give them aid, hold loving benefits, give them money, technology, all of that poo poo so they can be modern loving nations, and they just blow up or sell it for more loving weapons to the loving Russians. Then they talk smack about how they can't be defeated while they wave around loving weapons that better nations created and manufactured because they're still building poo poo in their garages and throwing loving rocks at tanks.

They wanna play war? They wanna claim their part of the big boys? Find, we do a WW-II fighting in the Pacific and Europe. Piss on it, let's invite the Russians and Chinese along too, we can all showcase our brand new weapons, and chase the loving pirates, and the loving bullshit acronym murdering shitbags with them, so far back in the trees we won't see them for decades. We can show these assholes why nobody wanted World War III by just banding together and turning the goddamn Middle East into a loving nature preserve. Show them that we couldn't give a poo poo less about their loving oil, their loving bullshit cobbled together child raping culture and light the loving oil wells on fire like it's 1991 then throw their dead into the oil fires so we don't have to worry about them somehow spreading disease, stench, and stupidity even after their dead.

Blow a loving hole so far in their psyche that every time they see a picture of a loving white person or an America, EU, or Russian flag they roll on their backs and piss all over their stomachs in submission.

People wanna bitch about bloodthirsty? People wanna act like we're being overboard now? gently caress it, off shore shelling like it's 1991 or the loving Bible again. Give them 40 days and 40 nights of sustained bombardment, air strikes, and assholes with nothing better to do then blow poo poo up. If it has 2 or more walls, hit it with a goddamn JDAM or MOAB. If it's a group of 1 or more, who gives a poo poo about confirming poo poo, Hellfires all around and follow it up with a goddamn offshore bombardment 21 gun salute to the ammunition that valiantly gave its life to rid the planet of some goddamn child beheading animals.

I'm tired of hearing about the "noble insurgent" which handwaves away doing Billy Badass driveby's on motherfuckers and hacking off teenage girl's heads. That brag on YouTube about how tough they are but the second someone shoots back they start crying about how they are being picked on and how it isn't fair that just because they cut off a teenage girl's head and hosed her corpse that it's "their culture" because like they've always been, they're loving cowards that avoid a straight up fight because they know they'll get their asses kicked the minute they stop hiding behind other people.

Go Highway to Hell on their asses. Leave nothing behind but blackened bodies that are still frozen, screaming, trying to climb out of what they thought was a badass war machine that we just turned into a loving coffin with two 19 year old privates and a loving AT-4. If they run, we call it a fighting retreat, and stay with it, not even slow down as we just keep loving killing them and driving by their corpses, which now smell better then they ever did. Chase them back to their homes, board that poo poo up, and call in loving 8" HEWP on their asses, then napalm the loving wreckage. I'd say roast hot-dogs, but they're so goddamn nasty even fire can't cure the funk they'd get all over the meat.

Then they'll be whining and begging, claiming that they're being picked on. Same motherfuckers laughing about cutting off kid's heads or machinegunning them on their way to school, will be there wringing their hats and whining their loving asses off that it isn't fair. That people are being mean to them, and don't they have the right to self-determination. Completely ignoring the fact that every time we try to let them have the right of self-determination they use it to rape children and behead old men. That they've proven time and time again they're nothing but the more useless parts of humanity that is more useless then the sand that makes up their precious deserts because at least you can make glass out of sand, and the only thing you can make out of them is a greasy stain that stinks less then they did and probably contributes more to humanity then they ever would have in their life. But they'd still whine and cry, even after claiming they're the baddest motherfuckers on the planet with the AK-47's they traded the only virgin in the village for to some drunken Russian who just wanted to get out of their lovely country. They'd whine, cry, say they're just being picked on for practicing their religion. Waaaah, it's not fair!

Guess what, Abdul, life isn't loving fair.

We let them go to the UN, cry like little bitches, then when they walk out, grab their asses on the steps, then shoot them in the back of the head on the steps, and walk the gently caress off.

These assholes think they know warfare? That just because they stole some loving vehicles that might as well been built by loving magic as far as their dumb backwards asses are concerned, they think they're hot poo poo? They got sold 1950's old Soviet trash and think that because it can kill other backwards rear end savages it makes them hot poo poo?

Let's break out the toys. Remind them of why we're the goddamn superpowers and First World, and they're a bunch of desert dwelling retards that the world wouldn't give a flying gently caress about if it wasn't for the fact they kill each other and gently caress their child sex slaves on top of oil that for right now is useful. Show them that when it comes to killing motherfuckers in job lots, fast and furious, that we're number one.

Wanna know why Japan was a success and the Middle East isn't? Why Germany was a success and they couldn't succeed with a trillion dollars of welfare from their betters?

Because all a loving Arab understands is a boot on his neck and the muzzle of a gun screwed into the back of his flea bitten head.

We showed Japan that if they didn't straighten up and act like grownups, we'd nuke them into loving nothing but ash and memories of failure. We bombed Germany so loving bad that they are STILL digging up artillery shells and loving bombs when they work on their loving roads.

If we'll do that to each other, the dipshit fleabitten retards of the Middle East need to stop and think of what we'll do to them.

The Middle East needs to be reminded that for all their bullshit, all their goddamn posturing, they aren't about poo poo, and if it wasn't for the goddamn military welfare scraps they get tossed by better nations, who left the loving Arab civilizations in the dust and garbage where it belongs during the goddamn Middle Ages, they'd still be using swords and loving spears on each other. That except for oil, the only thing they have is sand, rocks, and stupidity.

Hit the loving place so goddamn hard the loving continental plate cracks open and we can have the survivors out there with buckets scooping up the oil that the rest of the loving world needs and their backwards asses wouldn't even know how to use if it wasn't for the other nations who have tolerated their goddamn nonsense for too loving long.

Peace in the Middle East? The last half of the 20th Century has shown us that the only time there was peace in the Middle East was when you killed enough of them that the rest ran away and hid in their loving caves and wouldn't come out. And then you have to bomb their loving caves now and then to remind them that no matter what they loving think, they don't matter in the long term, they're a second rate civilization that was propped up by their loving betters and now their betters are loving tired of their bullshit because we want to move on in the world and they want to pretend it's 1014 instead of 2014.

Iran wants nukes? Give them to them. The same way we gave them to Japan. Let them see that nukes aren't toys. I know that they might as well be magic for as well as they understand them, so maybe it's time for another Magic Show, where we can headline "The Incredible Disappearing Arab" and at least then the rest of the world might get some loving amusement out of it all.

Because gently caress them. We gave them their chance to straighten their poo poo out and all they can do is kill old men and children and brag about how hot poo poo they are.

They honestly think that the West is afraid of going to war because we might get hurt? gently caress no. We remember what we're capable of. We looked at what we could do and went "you know, maybe there's a better way..." and they think it's cowardice. We oughta give them a loving taste of it, a whole goddamn plate. Tie them to a chair like the fat gently caress in SE7EN and force feed them war till they get the loving point that they're a third rate bunch of nations, full of borderline subhumans who follow the rambling meandering words of a goddamn child raping goat thief.

Remind them that the US, the EU, Russia, and China are all better than warfare then their quasi-medieval asses have been in centuries. That is isn't Saladin against the loving Crusades, this is a bunch of yowling apes against people so far ahead of them they might as well be invaded by aliens. And since they're fine with chemical weapons, then we show them that their lovely VX knockoffs and sarin loving gas has got nothing on what we've come up. Remind them that the First World has been using gas since we exterminated an entire generation in the trenches of World War I and thought that was such a great time we did that poo poo again and called it World War II just so we could see what else we could invent to kill motherfuckers.

Show them that if they can't act right, if they can't act like this is the 21st Century and we're supposed to be beyond beheading children, then they're excused from the class.

Forever.

That's cool and all but have you considered that maybe we just aren't paying enough attention to their ethnic differences and that's why they're constantly murdering each other and also why Bushfail

# ¿ Jun 17, 2014 04:59

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

if you can't take time out of your day to read the words of our heroes i don't even

# ¿ Jun 17, 2014 05:55

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

I hope they release a video as badass as this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5PPYg9ISn8

# ¿ Jun 17, 2014 18:10

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

how do they identify child porn in japan serious question

# ¿ Jun 19, 2014 01:49

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

if they're not flat go up to bat*

*does not apply to japan

# ¿ Jun 19, 2014 02:00

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

D&D decided to make "nork" a racial slur fyi

# ¿ Jun 20, 2014 03:29

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

# ¿ Jun 20, 2014 03:57

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Baloogan posted:

edit: nm i dont want to get banned

Pretty loving unsat making fun of the Dear Leader and calling the pic "Shadowfax and the Yellow Wizard".

# ¿ Jun 20, 2014 04:27

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Bullshit, Muslims are still developing advanced technology to benefit their society. Just watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIxm3Z7s5ZI

# ¿ Jun 21, 2014 03:52

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

The gently caress is wrong with incest porn addiction

# ¿ Jun 29, 2014 01:49

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Courthouse posted:

The modern world never moved out of the killing left and right for religious/dickhead reasons, we just got a few big bombs and all agreed to keep our wanton murder outside europe/north america. Who knows? Perhaps Iran and Saudia Arabia getting the bomb will end up calming the area down? Slap up a wall through Baghdad to make it all formal.

Actually killing for resources and economic power is pretty rational vs chopping off little girl heads into the 21st century because of petty bullshit that has nothing to do with actual oppression

# ¿ Jul 8, 2014 01:22

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Like I get liability and procedure and poo poo but if calling 911 for an ambulance is the procedure you come up with for old-rear end people collapsing anywhere inside a VA hospital then you've really hosed up. I'm just shocked this hasn't already been happening every month.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 02:19

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Zeroisanumber posted:

I hate to break it to you homes, but odds are that almost everyone who posts in GiP will one day collapse and die while waiting to fill out paperwork at the VA. Best thing that you can hope for is that your last sight isn't some pimple-faced intern shoving his mouth over yours and trying to breathe chipotle-stink oxygen into your lungs.

I can only hope

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 02:33

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Hamas missiles are bullshit firecrackers but at least it gets us nice dystopian videos from weddings and poo poo of the missile shields intercepting them

# ¿ Jul 13, 2014 02:07

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

I think that's the hardest anyone got owned in the history of the planet

Like I'm surprised that chick didn't die on the spot

# ¿ Jul 14, 2014 01:18

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Yeah like on one hand I think the Jewish treatment of the Palestinians is deplorable but on the other hand if I had to pick a neighbor I'd pick the one who isn't going to chop off his daughter's head for sluttily revealing her eyes. We all know who's got a genuine future as a people.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2014 02:58

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

iyaayas01 posted:

Now, if we had any Black Hawk pilots in GiP we'd have cause to be concerned.

Helicopters routinely fall out of the sky without any intervention.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2014 03:28

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SBqT0TBHQ4

r1pt from the headlines

# ¿ Jul 18, 2014 14:05

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

gleep gloop posted:

Why again did Germany shut down it's reactors? Oh hey lets completely gently caress over our energy on some retarded principled stand.

Germany is currently making a huge whiny fuss over their apparently sudden realization that the US has been spying on them. They recently said they're switching to typewriters for sensitive work.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2014 16:16

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Courthouse posted:

More like foot the bill so send some equipment/people to get their citizens back in as dignified manner as possible without anyone getting shot, as opposed to their remains rotting in some local farmers root cellar until the current hostilities blow over. They want to do take care of any remains themselves, simple as that. It's not like it's the fuel spill cleaning they are getting at here.

You're right paying to ensure the safe return of your citizens' corpses is way better

# ¿ Jul 20, 2014 19:13

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Barnsy posted:

Is there a point trying to manipulate the data though? The black box wouldn't really record a missile hit unless the pilots said something about it, it'd be more relevant to figure out the damage in flight. Short of replacing the whole voice recorder with a pilot saying 'oh look, a missile is coming at us with UKRAINE written on the side of it'...

Crudely spliced-in audio of the pilot making an intercom announcement "Hyello efferyone, Ukraine is gently caress us"

# ¿ Jul 22, 2014 01:59

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

quote:

�They were shouting: �Death to Jews,� and �Slit Jews� throats�,� David, a Jewish sound engineer told The Times. �It took us back to 1938.�

lol yeah ok David, sound engineer

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 04:06

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

These days I can't really separate muslims from chaos marines in my mind

Like the shocking part is that they still do poo poo like executing people for smoking cigarettes because they really ought to be having massive blood orgies while drunk and stoned

Tiny Timbs fucked around with this message at 06:20 on Jul 27, 2014

# ¿ Jul 27, 2014 06:18

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Zeroisanumber posted:

That is the nerdiest loving thing I've read all day.

You sure it wasn't actually the guy correcting me

# ¿ Jul 27, 2014 15:58

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Gee it's real weird that Israel and Palestine are getting more coverage today than Syria is, especially since Syria already got massive coverage everywhere for most of a year.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2014 19:13

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

krispykremessuck posted:

is there an ISIS in the US? tbqh if the dumbass euro touchy feely types want to welcome cultural beheadings and other dumb bullshit associated with the mudmen then w/e

would D&D qualify

i mean part of being a member of isis probably involves blaming the US for making you behead a 9-year-old girl for exhibiting willfulness or whatever.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 03:15

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Zeroisanumber posted:

Electing fascists to cure the problem of underemployed, disaffected Muslim kids is like taking cyanide to cure a headache. Personally, I hope they do it so that I can sit back here in the States drunk off my rear end and lol at Europe all day.

I haven't heard about Greece in a while and that's kind of a shame because it was getting real good over there.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 14:21

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Bernard McFacknutah posted:

As if the French have ever not turned to extremes to solve problems. Thing is, it would take a generation to undo all the marginalization and state sponsored racism and the issues they are suffering from now are going to get a LOT worse in the next decade.

Well they've gotten people used to fighting against outsiders to maintain cultural purity in the 21st century so maybe they're not far off from just throwing their lot in and translating the takbir to French.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 14:48

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/50691002

lol i'm not sure israel is even pretending anymore

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 01:34

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Fojar38 posted:

Certain parts of the Israeli press are actively anti-American and the US just ignores it like a battered housewife.

Israel isn't getting poo poo over the US no matter what it looks like

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 02:43

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

I miss shim gently caress you whip

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 03:44

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:32

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Snowdens Secret posted:

I saw talk that if the US administration keeps going down the anti-Israel road that the Israelis might just suck up to Putin, since he's obviously the strong horse

yeah sometimes I can't avoid reading youtube comments too

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 14:22

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Current Events Thread: You know shit is bad when even we aren't joking.

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