-BARK ARF! - BARK BARK ARF BARK!- - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > -BARK ARF! - BARK BARK ARF BARK!-

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

_-=BARK ARF! - BARK BARK ARF BARK!-=_

You are Guards-The-Pack, son of Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick!

You are the Guardian of the Greatest Pack of all Packs! Your Pack owns the Den-of-Dens, decides who hunts and who owns what territory!

You go out with the Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick all of the time to guard the Territory! You warn the pack when danger is near! Sometimes you fight Predators! There are always many exciting smells when you patrol the territory!

You have just come back from a long trip, you went to search for the path the Predators took through YOUR territory! On the trip the Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick was hurt and you were very, very scared. You nursed him back to health and got him to the Den. Now he is talking with Biggest-In-The-Pack-Who-Fights-For-The-Pack-And-Makes-Sure-The-Pack-Does-Not-Fight-Itself. Sometimes they talked for hours and drink the Bad-Water. They do not have food for you to Make-Drop and He seem to be okay so you are on your own for a few hours.

What do you want to do?

A. Clean the genitals with the tongue. This is a very important thing to do which must be done frequently!

B. Go to the Old-Den, where your many Females are and mate! There are lots of them and they are ALL yours! You are the biggest and most clever of your kind and any female you want is yours! You have been gone for a WHILE!

C. Go play with the Pup. He spends a lot of time training to protect the pack now, he is probably training now.

D. Go to the Den, find The-Mate and get her to scratch-the-place-that-makes-the-leg-kick!

E. Go to the Den and keep Drops-The-Tasty-Food company. She has been sad since you left the Old Den and was separated from her mate.

F. Go to the Den and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

G. Go to the Old Den and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

H. Go to the House of Good SmElls and and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

I. Find the Old-Smeller and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop. At this time of day he may be at the Bad-Water-Place and the water may be bad but there is often food too!

J. Go to the Den-Of-Odd-Smells-Where-The-World-Is-Small and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

K. Go to the Old-Den and leave waste on the bed of the Mean-One for old times sake!

L. Go to the Place-To-Trade-Food-And-Of-Many-Smells and sniff at the Floppy-Ears! You don't trust them, once one of them even bit you! They are obviously plotting something!

M. Go to the den of Digs-The-Dirt-And-Makes-Things-For-Holding-Food and watch him work.

N. Go to the Old-Den and rip out the throat of the Mean-One! She was mean when you were little but now you are big and will have your revenge!

O. Something else. Fill in.

WELCOME TO THE GAME!

Welcome to _-=BARK ARF! - BARK BARK ARF BARK!-=_, a Chose Your Own Adventure style game. The format of the game is simple. I will lay out the scenario and offer options to proceed with. You can always propose an alternate path to pick. The most popular choice will be picked. Type as much as you like, but please indicate your vote by bolding your choice like this.

One way this game is different from other Chose Your Own Adventure game is that your adventure is to a degree, a freeform adventure. You chose your path through the world. The world can and will change around you based upon your actions and you will not have a predetermined story to run through. Your path and ultimate fate are not planned. Today, the day we started the game, I honestly have no idea where we may be a month from now, let alone how it might one day end. It is all up to you.

You do not have plot armor. Bad decisions can get you killed or wreak horrible consequences which you did not intend.

If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #arfbarkbark on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up.

If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/

I won't have time to join IRC till tonight.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 15:32 on Apr 1, 2014

# ? Apr 1, 2014 14:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:47

Lanky Coconut Tree: Apr 7, 2011; An angry tree.

The angriest tree

Diogines posted:

-BARK ARF! - BARK BARK ARF BARK!-

You are Guards-The-Pack, son of Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick!

You are the Guardian of the Greatest Pack of all Packs! Your Pack owns the Den-of-Dens, decides who hunts and who owns what territory!

You go out with the Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick all of the time to guard the Territory! You warn the pack when danger is near! Sometimes you fight Predators! There are always many exciting smells when you patrol the territory!

You have just come back from a long trip, you went to search for the path the Predators took through YOUR territory! On the trip the Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick was hurt and you were very, very scared. You nursed him back to health and got him to the Den. Now he is talking with Biggest-In-The-Pack. Sometimes they talked for hours and drink the Bad-Water. They do not have food for you to Make-Drop and He seem to be okay so you are on your own for a few hours.

What do you want to do?

A. Clean the genitals with the tongue. This is a very important thing to do which must be done frequently!

B. Go to the Old-Den, where your many Females are and mate! There are lots of them and they are ALL yours! You are the biggest and most clever of your kind and any female you want is yours! You have been gone for a WHILE!

C. Go play with the Pup. He spends a lot of time training to protect the pack now, he is probably training now.

D. Go to the Den, find The-Mate and get her to scratch-the-place-that-makes-the-leg-kick!

E. Go to the Den and keep Drops-The-Tasty-Food company. She has been sad since you left the Old Den and was separated from her mate.

F. Go to the Den and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

G. Go to the Old Den and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

H. Go to the House of Good SmElls and and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

I. Find the Old-Smeller and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop. At this time of day he may be at the Bad-Water-Place and the water may be bad but there is often food too!

J. Go to the Den-Of-Odd-Smells-Where-The-World-Is-Small and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

K. Go to the Old-Den and leave waste on the bed of the Mean-One for old times sake!

L. Go to the Place-To-Trade-Food-And-Of-Many-Smells and sniff at the Floppy-Ears! You don't trust them, once one of them even bit you! They ate obviously plotting something!

M. Go to the den of Digs-The-Dirt-And-Makes-Things-For-Holding-Food and watch him work.

N. Something else. Fill in.

If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #arfbarkbark on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up.

If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/

I won't have time to join IRC till tonight.

Holy loving poo poo I love you Dio you crazy effort posting bastard

# ? Apr 1, 2014 14:58

Task Manager: Sep 5, 2008; A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.

quote:

E. Go to the Den and keep Drops-The-Tasty-Food company. She has been sad since you left the Old Den and was separated from her mate

I wonder....misunderstanding of our doggie brain, or truth? Investigate!

Voting for E

Task Manager fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Apr 1, 2014

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:01

Eryxias: Feb 17, 2011; Stay low.

Fantastic!

A then E

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:01

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Placeholder post.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:02

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

B. Time to get our groove on!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:03

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Placeholder post.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:03

FoxTerrier: Feb 15, 2012; Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

K Obviously.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:09

falcon2424: May 2, 2005

E. Go to the Den and keep Drops-The-Tasty-Food company. She has been sad since you left the Old Den and was separated from her mate.

Food first. Then to other things.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:09

Speleothing: May 6, 2008; Spare batteries are pretty key.

K, then D
This will involve going all the way to the Old Den and back, but it seems like the course of action that's most likely to get results.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:16

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

O. HUMP THE GATE :huh:

HiHo ChiRho fucked around with this message at 16:20 on Apr 1, 2014

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:27

Basscop: Jun 4, 2010; Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

Eryxias posted:

Fantastic!

A then E

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:29

Vavrek: Mar 2, 2013; I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

Eryxias posted:

Fantastic!

A then E

A, then E

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:31

Wentley: Feb 7, 2012

Being clean is important.

A then E.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:32

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

I accidentally left out the Basscop/Slaan/Tsyni option. I edited it in at the end as N.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:33

Basscop: Jun 4, 2010; Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

Diogines posted:

I accidentally left out the Basscop/Slaan/Tsyni option. I edited it in at the end as N.

Changing my vote to N

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:34

dyzzy: Dec 22, 2009; argh

O Go to the Old-Den, find Father of Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick, and ask him:

Arf arf bark, bark bark woof! *sniff*

Bark bark bark bark bark. Arf woof?

Bark woof *pant* bark arf bark arf bark! *whine*

Bark bark bark; arf bark bark bark. *growl*

Bark! *rest head on front legs, raise one eye quizzically*

*roll onto back* bark bark bark.

e: Diog I understand today might be busy for you, starting the CYOA and whatnot. It's okay if you only have time to respond to the first three.

e2: I came up with some contingencies!

(If he is not willing to answer question 1) Arf arf! *pant heavily*

(If "yes" to question 2) Bark bark arf! *chase own tail*

(If instead of answering any questions, he just pets us) *roll over for belly rubs*

dyzzy fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Apr 1, 2014

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:35

Canuck-Errant: Oct 28, 2003; MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS; Grimey Drawer

J. Perhaps we can find Mate(?)-of-Friend-of-Bestest there!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:38

ShotgunWillie: Aug 30, 2005; a sexy automaton -
powered by dark
oriental magic

E. HOW DOES NO ONE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT JALITHAS MATE!?

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:38

Vavrek: Mar 2, 2013; I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

ShotgunWillie posted:

E. HOW DOES NO ONE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT JALITHAS MATE!?

No one cares about Jalitha.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:39

Absum: May 28, 2013

I have vote N to atone.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:39

dyzzy: Dec 22, 2009; argh

ShotgunWillie posted:

E. HOW DOES NO ONE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT JALITHAS MATE!?

I was curious too, hence my line of questioning!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:40

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

dyzzy posted:

O Go to the Old-Den, find Father of Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick, and ask him:

Arf arf bark, bark bark woof! *sniff*

Bark bark bark bark bark. Arf woof?

Bark woof *pant* bark arf bark arf bark! *whine*

Bark bark bark; arf bark bark bark. *growl*

Bark! *rest head on front legs, raise one eye quizzically*

*roll onto back* bark bark bark.

e: Diog I understand today might be busy for you, starting the CYOA and whatnot. It's okay if you only have time to respond to the first three.

e2: I came up with some contingencies!

(If he is not willing to answer question 1) Arf arf! *pant heavily*

(If "yes" to question 2) Bark bark arf! *chase own tail*

(If instead of answering any questions, he just pets us) *roll over for belly rubs*

Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick has a father?

Wait, do you mean Biggest-In-The-Pack-Who-Fights-For-The-Pack-And-Makes-Sure-The-Pack-Does-Not-Fight-Itself? You know that is not his father.

You can question Biggest-In-The-Pack-Who-Fights-For-The-Pack-And-Makes-Sure-The-Pack-Does-Not-Fight-Itself if like but they are talking now and you know not to interrupt them unless there are Predators! Or you want food! Or want to play! Or want a belly rub!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:45

The flaming lip: Oct 1, 2005; Likes shitty music

A, then E

This game best game, over and over

# ? Apr 1, 2014 15:51

Lanky Coconut Tree: Apr 7, 2011; An angry tree.

The angriest tree

Eryxias posted:

Fantastic!

A then E

Voting this!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:07

Cornuto: Jun 26, 2012; For the pack!

A, Then A again, then E.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:13

Rumda: Nov 4, 2009; Moth Lesbian Comrade

A then E

This is the best

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:17

UppaTree: May 4, 2013

Do we have any strength beyond a normal dog of our build?

Do we need to breathe?

If not, I suggest we not-breathe until we swap souls with our human.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:17

ArbitraryTA: May 3, 2011

Voting to attempt to learn to speak Ellish to further man-dog relations as an ambassador of peace

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:19

Basscop: Jun 4, 2010; Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

Changing vote again. O Go into the streets. Lure a child into a dark alley. Rip its throat out, spread entrails over everything for the glory of he-who-always-hungers-and-consumes.

Eat it's heart.

Then A

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:20

Rumda: Nov 4, 2009; Moth Lesbian Comrade

ArbitraryTA posted:

Voting to attempt to learn to speak Ellish to further man-dog relations as an ambassador of peace

Now you're just being crazy how can you further perfection.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:21

hollylolly: Jun 5, 2009; Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

E - don't be sad! Feed us!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:23

Dammerung: Oct 17, 2008; "Dang, that's hot."

A, then E: We will have the cleanest of genitals!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:28

Task Manager: Sep 5, 2008; A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.

quote:

J. Go to the Den-Of-Odd-Smells-Where-The-World-Is-Small and Make-The-Face-That-Makes-The-Food-Drop.

So this is likely Indor, right? Interesting description. Seems Snarls can sense whatever mojo Indor has going on in there as well.

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:30

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

A + E

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:35

Tomn: Aug 23, 2007; And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

dyzzy posted:

O Go to the Old-Den, find Father of Father-Brother-Master-Bestest-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Who-Knows-The-Place-To-Make-The-Leg-Kick, and ask him:

I like the cut of your jib, but may I suggest asking these of the Old-Smeller instead? He knows more than the Biggest-In-The-Pack-Who-Fights-For-The-Pack-And-Makes-Sure-The-Pack-Does-Not-Fight-Itself!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:38

Lord Cyrahzax: Oct 11, 2012

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:46

LLSix: Jan 20, 2010; The real power behind countless overlords

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:51

Successful Businessmanga: Mar 28, 2010

Do E through J and then do K load up a nasty surprise for the mean one!

# ? Apr 1, 2014 16:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:47

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

You plop down in the middle of the street as others go by, lean back and get to work.

Mmmmm salty!

Lick.

Slurp.

Lick.

Lap.

Lap lap lick.

Lip lip lap.

Lap lip lap.

Lap lap lap.

Lick lick lick.

Lick lap lap.

Your genitals are now clean. Do you...

A. Not yet they arent! Continue to clean your genitals some more, just to be sure.

B. My genitals ARE clean but I continue to lick them anyway!

C. Go to the Den and keep Drops-The-Tasty-Food company. She has been sad since you left the Old Den and was separated from her mate.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Apr 1, 2014

# ? Apr 1, 2014 17:00

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > -BARK ARF! - BARK BARK ARF BARK!-

«‹›11 »