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##Add me to the list. I am a horrible newbie who is trying to figure out how to play the game and I will completely destroy this whole thing. Vote for me. JGBeagle posted:Rajas should only be needed if we wanted to play as an Indian. AFAIK, Rajas is still bugged.
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Apr 4, 2014 02:36
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CapnAndy posted:Primo's the best, but you need High Crown Authority to get it and that takes three generations, minimum. Elective's available right away. Seniority might be a better bet to keep it in our Dynasty. Every time I've put it elective my Lords troll me by voting for themselves and threatening my dynasty's Kingship. Since Messi here doesn't have many relatives, Seniority should stick us with our heir until we can get to Primo. If I have a ruler with good genes I'll often pick Ultimo because the way statistics work out in handing my kids stats I always get the good traits in latter kids. But again, I have no idea what I'm doing.
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Apr 4, 2014 23:42
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So I also loaded up a a game myself just to do a test run, and here is my brief CK experience! 1. I got much better luck on my random traits than the OP.  2. The first thing I noticed is how close to Kiev this ruler is. As a player, I like Kiev. It has a lot of holdings right at the start of the game and it's right within the demesne of Carpathia which is one of the smaller empires to form. So I figure, let's head over there. I fabricate a claim because Holy Wars are scary, the event fires off immediately and I burn my jew gold then take a look at my rival.  Some mercenaries just to make sure I have good generals and I should be able to take this guy. Then I see this!  Instant boners, now he's distracted in a war with someone else. LET'S DO THIS. PS, is has been almost two months.  WHAT. THE. gently caress. Not pictured, a 9k doomstack burning down my khanate. IT HAS BEEN TWO MONTHS, NOT EVEN TWO MONTHS! WHAT?! 
Jenner fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Apr 5, 2014 |
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Apr 5, 2014 00:09
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I'd post more of my pathetic test play, but I don't want to take over the thread. Suffice to say it involved me apologizing profusely, surrendering, converting every courtier and vassal I could to be Jewish. (Got everyone but Duke Alan Orthodox, how the gently caress do you get that dude to like you enough?) Then sending my chaplain out to proselytize (which doesn't DO anything anymore and is really frustrating!) I pick through the bishoprics of every holding in the demesne and convert everyone I can to a rabbi. 10 years later I have a few sons and daughters but Judiasm hasn't spread at all. Before I bought all the DLCs in the sale I was able to spread my religion pretty well using this same method. Seems the new DLCs have really changed things and it's disheartening. I also made Crimea a Merchant Kingdom and stole technology from Constantinople until they caught and executed my spymaster. Mad about not being able to interact with that Jewish kingdom that spouted up in Ethiopia as in my game his Steward has a genius daughter I wanna marry my second son to, diplomatic distance is farts. I've pretty much stopped playing my test game now because Messi is almost 60 now and his religion hasn't spread anywhere despite my aggressively trying to do so. I'm fully prepared, now, to completely suck at this game.
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Apr 5, 2014 06:32
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Technowolf posted:Does that include Sunset Invasion? New Law, convert Aztecs to proper Jews. Also, I don't have Eurpoa Universalis and I don't plan on getting it so if the game hits EU before my turn I'll have to step out of rotation.
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Apr 13, 2014 19:22
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We are the Jews, we can't very well borrow money from ourselves. Especially when we have none.
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Apr 17, 2014 22:35
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Amnistar posted:Best way to make jewish ally states is gonna be to find claiments, invite them to your court, convert them and then press their claims. In my test game everyone rejects because of "False religion" (and base reluctance and/or "no reason to move" but they always have that.)
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May 4, 2014 02:30
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Vorpal Cat posted:I haven't played around with the old gods start that much but is there any flag in the game that causes east and west Francia to be renamed France and Germany? Or are you stuck with those names until 1450? Once you claim all the territories from the rear end in a top hat Dynasty in charge of them it takes about 10 years or so and you should get an event that informs you Francia is now called France, East Francia is now called Germany. It happened in my Viking Game when I took over the Holy Roman Empire with Haesteinn. Speaking of which, who's turn is it now?
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Jul 12, 2014 05:46
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I am still eager to run Zion into the ground. So don't drop me, I suck at this game after all.
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Jul 15, 2014 02:14
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Where's the save game? It's time to ruin everything.
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Jul 29, 2014 17:05
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Starting up the game, will have a post up by the end of the day. A little hyping, I have no idea what I'm doing. 
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Aug 1, 2014 12:09
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I was winning the war in Khiva and then 30k guys spawned there.  I... I think I'll let the rest of the pictures speak for themselves.  I'm too old for this poo poo. Greetings, I am Sartac and everything is terrible.  This is Zion, I rule this Empire now. As you can see, we're currently at war.  There are no less than half a dozen assholes just waiting for a chance to ruin me. I'm half-tempted to let them have it.  These are my counselors, they are terrible. Get out, all of you, you're all fired.  That's better.  Additionally someone not me was educating my son and heir, so I fixed that.  What am I supposed to do with this mess?  Remember this rear end in a top hat? He has a pretty scary army and a grudge. I just have to hope he dies of old age or something.  OH GOD WHY.    Noooo, you were supposed to die before that.  WHAT? WHYYYYY?Oh gently caress me!  White Peace, white peace, white peace, white peace, white peace.   I... what? When the gently caress did you even show up? SURE WHATEVER.  Ok, ok, I can do this...  Noooooooo!Aaah! Aaaah! Gramma once told me about this mountains thing the Dragon did...  Please work, please work, please work, please work, please work.   It worked, it worked. Oh gently caress me, I gotta chase them!   [TO BE CONTINUED] Jenner fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Aug 1, 2014 |
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Aug 1, 2014 18:46
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I was wondering how the Seljuks got ANOTHER sudden gently caress you spawn of 30+k men after already having one (as seen in the stream) but now I understand. I'm playing THAT game again. I am still in awe that I managed to survive that three-way gangbang. I think if I hadn't been on the mountain I probably would have lost everyone. I'll update again when we get to another page. I may learn how to use lpix instead of imgur in the meantime. Edit: Did a bit of searching around and found that we have a couple inbred people in the family. I'm gonna give them a Kingdom and make them independent.
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Aug 1, 2014 19:52
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I'm gonna try to take better screen shots more close up for you guys. I also am realizing how hard it is to gently caress up an Empire this big, it might just be idiot proof.
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Aug 2, 2014 23:15
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Blackunknown posted:It might be idiot proof, but it's not Goon proof. Nothing is goon proof. Whether Goon proofing is something possible or not is debatable, but you know what this Empire isn't? Crazy proof.   Update forthcoming.
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Aug 3, 2014 11:37
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It begins I can do this, I just have to keep up the offensive! I can just focus on this front, and hope I don't have any distractions.   Okay... okay, I'll just ignore them. This is still doable.   Ignore it, Sartac! FOCUS! What's that courier?  Oh! Just what I needed, good news from the west. We're turning that war around!  ...why?  Okay, that's one distraction down. Now I'll just finish this up and take care of those uprisings.   This just... this just isn't real... There's no way... I...  F... f... Ffffffuck yooooouuuuu.  ...  (Note: Yes this is the guy who got 30+k reinforcements) [Not pictured: The other revolts spawning reinforcements.] ..Just... j-just end it...  I don't even feel anything...  YOU DONKEY-HUMPING, FILTHY, MOON-WORSHIPPING MOTHERFUCKER! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL TEAR YOUR loving HEAD OFF! I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN IN FRONT OF YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH! *hyperventilating*     ...ahah...hahahaha... HAHAHAHA I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE!![TO BE CONTINUED] Jenner fucked around with this message at 14:43 on Aug 3, 2014 |
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Aug 3, 2014 14:36
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Guys I never want this to end.  The best I can do is just go all out war and also release as many Kingdoms as possible as independent. Edit: Oh wait I can name things!  Ew.  Not my problem anymore. 
Jenner fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Aug 3, 2014 |
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Aug 3, 2014 23:15
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Won't be able to update again until Thursday or Friday. Sorry for the wait guys!
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Aug 4, 2014 16:55
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Working on an update now. I hope I get some of the neat crazy events but my guy is already pretty old. This post will me edited with the update when it's ready. Apologies for the double-post. We're all mad here. In a state like this we're going to need to make some drastic but necessary changes to our council. Luckily, I know the perfect guy for the job.  Yes that will do nicely.  Oh come on you guys! I can't believe you aren't recognizing Glitterhoof's brilliance! (Yes, the scroll wheel is highlighted.) Why, Glitterhoof is the remarkable tactician who advised me that right now, more than anything, we need to take Damascus while our enemy is distracted by us.  And look how well it's going! Yes, this makes perfect tactical sense.  Oh, ho, ho, no you're the handsome genius Glitterhoof. Also, Navarra had some kind of religious revolt or something. Because I found this guy in the court of one of my holdings that were still Catholic. I was searching my demesne for  Luckily he'll see reason, and I guess I'll give him Damascus, Glitterhoof assures me he'll be a bulwark for our values. I couldn't agree more. I'll name the temple after you, my friend!   Oh hello Caliph! I see you made it all the way over here! It's good to see you!What's that? One of my kings is invading Armenia? Good for him!  Also, it appears the Byzantines are having their own problems! Good luck over there, Highness! Not really, I hope you die. Ahh, while all that wildness with the Muslims is being handled I think it's time I occupy myself with love.  The bars are just a trust exercise between us, we're into that.  And it's true love too, we're staying true to our promises. (This is crazy hosed up.) Why, it makes me feel magnanimous. Y'know what, you guys have been making such a ruckus over there.  Go ahead and have it. (Please note they will not accept this surrender, I literally cannot give this country away. I imagine them seeing the swaths of Muslims coming in and just going, "Y'know what we're good.")   Guys now is not the time, we need to find that gopher!  Oh come now! What does he got that I don't have?!  I hate deserts. (I have no idea how to travel through deserts without massive troop loss.)  Hm, what's this?  I'll take it.  They like me, Glitterhoof! They really like me! (This event may have saved our asses.)  I'm coming boys! Your rightful ruler astride his amazing advisor!  I just... I can... I... can fix this...  You... guys don't understand true brilliance when you see it... [THE END] Jenner fucked around with this message at 00:30 on Aug 9, 2014 |
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Aug 8, 2014 19:57
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Update here File here accidentally played a few days just to give it a different save date. Putting it up in Dropbox now, let me know when you get it. I don't know what the last law of a crazed man would be. PS I'm sorry. Jenner fucked around with this message at 00:30 on Aug 9, 2014 |
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Aug 9, 2014 00:18
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GSD posted:Declare horses to be holy, as evidenced by the divine wisdom of Glitterhoof. Make a law about that. This empire was build hand and hoof with horses! On the backs of them! (Our retinue, before I murdered it, was 90% Horse Archers!) You should respect Glitterhoof and be grateful!
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Aug 9, 2014 01:06
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Readingaccount posted:So, did you marry your true love? See and this is actually the biggest "What could have been..." ever because I was going to marry her matrilineally and have a few babies of her family since the love was so true. (Read: succession was already secure.) But, my true love just couldn't upset her parents by marrying someone of a different faith. 
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Aug 9, 2014 15:27
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Okay, official law time. I Vote Neigh Horses must always play an integral part of our society, our military must always be comprised of a majority (more than 80%) of horse units. Pro-Horse referendums and upgrades should be prioritized over any other upgrades. Damascus' holy temple of Glitterhoof must remain named as-is. Prisoners make the best wives. Optional: When Sartac made Glitterhoof his Councilor it was for life. Depending on breed, management and environment, the modern domestic horse has a life expectancy of 25 to 30 years. So Zion's next player should, if possible, Also, looking back over the save Perm somehow fell into the hands of a Bulanid (probably from daughter heir marrying a Bulanid at some point) sometime during Sartac's reign and I didn't notice in time to fix it. Sorry for breaking the rules. I DID MY BEST! I even prioritized taking a Holy Site while insane and fighting off ALL the Muslims. And I renamed a province after daddy Manar. After Geo's update I'll throw up a few more screenshots of some Very Special aspects of Sartac's wonderful Legacy. Jenner fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Aug 11, 2014 |
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Aug 11, 2014 20:04
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I loaded up the save myself just to play a few years and oh god I am so sorry I thought when you defeated a revolt the chance of revolts dropped (the random spawning ones, not ones own guys!) But, they do not. They just keep happening! PS Update the OP?
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Aug 11, 2014 20:20
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Geokinesis posted:(Ps Jenner, any preference on which place is named after Sartac?) Oh man, um... Jerusalem? Just kidding, my son obviously doesn't like me that much. I'd prefer someplace fitting the crazed bastard in the lands he foolishly took while being eaten alive by revolts and Muslims but I don't think anyone else has had a say on what's named after them so it's at your discretion, son. Also, your name is Aryeh, it's a Jewish name that I looked up on the internet. The Internet posted:Aryeh - Aryeh was an army officer in the Bible. Aryeh means "lion." PS is 28war guy possessed or something? Are any of his other stats good? I seriously moved every character with the inbred trait into the Grand Commonwealth of Incest(Georgia  ) and married them to each other. The GCoI actually became my buttmonkey as I intentionally married all their people to anyone with a bad genetic hand. (Are they Slow? Are they an Imbecile? Off to GCoI with'm.) Super warguy springing out of GCoI marvels me.Edit: I just looked and it looks like every inbred person I married to another inbred person died before they could have kids to keep the spirit of GCoI alive. It wound up spiraling down Yavdi's line until it fell into Warguy's non-inbred hands. What a shame.  Double Edit: I wound up changing a lot of family names/crests while I was playing to better reflect Sartac's opinion of them. As you can see Yavdi had his family name changed to Gershom (You can see Yavdi's original name and crest in my small, "Ew incest" update here.) His family's name was changed to Gershom and his crest is now a lion under water being drowned. I did this to several other dynasties. I showed Sartac's craziness in small and big ways. Jenner fucked around with this message at 17:47 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 17:12
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!! Not my awful Basque guy! You monster! Oh man, I hope he at least spawned Basque NPCs in his towns.
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Aug 18, 2014 18:25
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We're crazy close to Jerusalem. Aryeh could actually get the Third Temple built.
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Aug 26, 2014 05:39
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beefart posted:Please loving tell me we're not raising the heir to the resurgent Jewish state as a Greek Orthodox... Truly the son of Sartac the Mad. (I think that guy is Jewish though.)
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Aug 28, 2014 19:57
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Geo are there any Basques left over after you murdered Sartac's terrible Basque guy? I was so proud of finding Basque guy since earlier the thread had been joking about turning us Basque and getting Absolute-Cognatic.
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Aug 30, 2014 20:29
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WeaponGradeSadness posted:Is there any particular logic to where exactly someone flees to if they are banished/escape from imprisonment? I have to imagine that Indian queen was pretty befuddled to find a Turkish Jew knocking on her palace doors. We got some random Basque guy sent to our courts the same way. I doubt it does much checking beyond: "Is it Christian? Go." Sartac made him a noble and gave him
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Oct 11, 2014 03:35
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Can we get a look at the newly trimmed family tree and at the whole realm? (You'll have to manually X out everyone dead.) This is beautiful.
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Oct 11, 2014 21:38
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Neruz posted:Or individually! It depends entirely on your interpretation. There is a reason why the Persian system of laws isn't around anymore If you rename Incest I'm gonna be so upset!  Who the gently caress wants Incest?
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Oct 23, 2014 05:26
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Pester posted:I was wondering why Kale wound up inheriting instead of Tonirhoma. Did we switch to ultimogeniture at some point? Hitlers Gay Secret posted:I have no clue because I was really hoping that Tonirhoma would become a notable individual. Instead we heave to settle for Kale. I still can't believe the game picked that. Sartac's last dying act was to change the inheritance laws in every kingdom to silly poo poo. The empire was set to ultimogeniture. I figured his reign would be our last stable one where vassals would like us enough to let us change laws and that his lasting legacy would be horses and chaos. You're welcome.
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Nov 26, 2014 21:01
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Supeerme posted:Due to the lack of updates, I presume that this is dead? I'm toying with the save for "fun." But I can't speak for our player.
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Dec 7, 2014 05:45
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Readingaccount posted:Nah, these things happen (less so with the instaclaim system though) let's just give it another 60 hours for a full two weeks (or maybe just 12 for 12 days and 24 houra after Superme's bump?) and if no sign of intent from Stevetheblack or the next two on the list or Amnistar then a volunteer can take on Kale's reign. You want it Jenner? You ran a glorious reign with Sartac! I'd rather have the Dragon back if he's up for it. I had my chance to ruin everything, I'd hate to hog Israel for myself. Though I do have some hilarious pranks I was going to play... I'll show you what I've done in my save for amusement: Also, gently caress. I haven't played since they made the new DLC and I see they added some stuff. (Also: I have not bought the new DLC.  ) So when I first booted up the save I found that Israel was lacking talented generals. I went through my prisoner list and found this rear end in a top hat.    It's not "freeing" grampa, it's conscripting. Totally different!  Oh sure, join the party.  The giant ain't too bad.  Woooow, that is a big number.  Go away. So, they added seasons in this new DLC. Which means troops now get attrition. I don't understand how it works or how to mitigate it. What I do understand is that the Mongols aren't effected by it (nerf pls) and that it sucks. I noticed there's an independence faction and a lower crown authority faction brewing. Kale doesn't have the stats to tell them to gently caress off. So I take the levies of every conspirator and do this:  I need to get a -100 warscore to surrender and these assholes are supposed to die.  ANDRE DID YOU NOT HEAR ME SAY YOU NEED TO DIE? (He's not a general in this, must have been from the way the cluster-in stacked. He's general of one of the stacked armies.) So I had to just send them in deeper until they lost a bunch. Andre got beefier. My goal was to kill my enemies levies so they'd calm the gently caress down. Not pictured: surrendering to the Golden Horde, see you sons of bitches in 10 years.  Back into the fold you idiots. Oh hey, Bavaria's having a succession revolt.   Attrition!  TL;DR Rekt. Time to pick an educator for Kale, I had a plan with Sartac that I he didn't live to set up and now? That Basque family I made kings of Syria turned Greek and someone changed their name! There were no Basques left in Israel. So I had to find another Basque person to begin my Incredibly Stupid Plan. I wasn't lucky enough to find one exile bugged to Constantinople this time either. However, Nevarra was having a revolt, so I sailed an army over there and killed their revolt for them and managed to capture some. The below was the best of the batch.  He's not bad, but the important thing here is that he's diligent and gregarious.  (Not shown: Kale executing 3 other inferior Basques.)  
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Dec 7, 2014 10:56
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so amazing. Lookit the Aztecs consuming all of Europe. Reverse colonialism.
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Feb 5, 2015 21:18
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 That... is amazing. I picked the worst, most inbred, most useless bloodline in the realm and I gave them Georgia. Incest was a joke, CK 2! I cannot believe they got so drat powerful. They're the real heroes, spawning from such hosed up beginnings to become such an almighty powerhouse.
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Feb 22, 2015 08:07
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Sartac's legacy lives on!
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Mar 27, 2016 17:49
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/\ I'm quite proud of it. Jenner fucked around with this message at 03:40 on May 8, 2016 |
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May 8, 2016 03:35
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