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Oh, so very ##Add me to the list I will give you fools an Empire. So that it'll be funnier when the next guy ruins everything 
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Apr 3, 2014 22:57
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Veloxyll posted:The Jews will be the finest traders across the Black Sea and beyond. 
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Apr 4, 2014 04:20
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Stab our kid brother, then move the capital back. Then we can destroy one of the duchy titles so this poo poo doesn't happen again. loving gavelkind.
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Apr 4, 2014 19:35
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AJ_Impy posted:I'm not going to start kinslaying because of an inconvenience. Getting out of Gavelkind as soon as possible, sure, but the mistakes of my predecessor are simply that, an we shall work around them.
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Apr 4, 2014 19:43
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Funky Valentine posted:I just throw my succession onto Primogeniture. The demesne bonus is not worth the headaches in the slightest.
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Apr 4, 2014 21:54
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beefart posted:With regards to the insane amounts of rebel troops you're getting: religious rebels are broken to gently caress and back in 2.1.1. There's a new patch coming out soon (beta came out today) but I'm not sure that it will fix preexisting savegames because the beta requires a new game to fix several issues.
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Apr 5, 2014 07:48
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That was masterful strategy against the Byzantines.
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Apr 8, 2014 16:50
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Is swearing fealty to the Byzantines workable? It looks like we'd have decent odds of convincing the Emperor to switch to the true faith, we'd remove a huge threat and gain a lot of protection from external threats at a single stroke, and we might be able to destroy them from within with an Independence faction, or maybe even take the throne for ourselves. Obviously there's downsides too, but I'd rather have that giant army on our side.
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Apr 11, 2014 04:02
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Zoinker posted:Seconding this. Never be a friend to Rome. And we should still try to convert the Emperor.
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Apr 11, 2014 15:37
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I've got the file and will get to playing this weekend. Any parting words of advice? Also, what's my list of Enemies To Be Destroyed? Byzantium, Poland, and Cuman?
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Apr 12, 2014 00:05
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I am embarassing our proud lineage and I just want to pre-emptively apologize 
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Apr 13, 2014 05:24
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I'm writing the first update now
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Apr 17, 2014 17:44
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Hey, fun question. Does anyone remember what my goddamn name is? I forgot to get a screenshot of myself and it's information that really doesn't come up very often.
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Apr 17, 2014 19:56
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Thank you.
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Apr 17, 2014 20:08
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Khan Yerlesnu, Part I: Father made this look easier (942-944) After the ritual seven days of mourning are completed and I am finished sitting shiva for my father, it’s time to take stock of my Khanate. My first worry is that my succession may be chaotic -- a new reign is a time for troubles. Luckily, the realm seems to be accepting me so far.  Next I turn my attention to the Council, and am disappointed in what I find. Are these men truly the best Father had? I can think of better men for nearly every job.  A vast improvement.  The religious state of affairs does not please me. We have made scant progress in turning back the tide of paganism and advancing the faith of the Chosen People. I set my Court Rabbi to the task, but I expect this to be a problem for a long time.   Now that the crown is mine, I must decide upon my chosen heir. My genius nephew remains an excellent candidate, but I would prefer the throne to pass to my own son. He is nothing special as of yet, but the boy is only four. Time will tell.  Mine own sister was in someone’s dungeon? Yes, please, I’ll take her back.  The Basileus Anastasios, Father’s great foe, has likewise been stricken by age. I note with some satisfaction that Ha’Shem granted Father a clean death, but has condemned the Roman to suffering inside the useless shell of his own body.  His daughter and heir. She believes wholeheartedly in the Christian teachings of chastity, and has foresworn Earthly pleasures, expecting to be compensated in the afterlife. Foolish goyim; did not the Almighty command us to be fruitful and multiply? Rumors swirl that the reason for all these shows of pious restraint is that the princess does not enjoy the company of men. If true, it means that the odds of her producing an heir are miniscule. Perhaps her dynasty will die with her. That would be sweet revenge indeed. (In other words, she’s Homosexual, Chaste, and has focused on Pleasures in the Afterlife. -60% fertility.)  Ah yes, the war in Wallachia. Father began it before his death, and had indicated to me that he expected it to be an easy conquest. With that in mind, when I had 1600 men gathered on the borders, I moved them into enemy terrain as a scout force. To be met with overwhelming force like this is an extremely worrisome surprise.   The commander of their left flank was extremely good and also extremely poorly protected. Perhaps this will let me eke out a miracle victory?   Perhaps not. Maybe we’ll call surviving the retaliatory assassination attempt good enough.   The Bulgarians have help and the losses I’ve suffered have emboldened troublesome vassals. My reign is not off to a good start.  I send my spymaster to discourage the worst of the lot.  My armies have regrouped, but I am outnumbered. I try to retreat across the river...   But cannot make it in time.  No, not a very good start to my reign at all. I can take most of this hit, but the indemnity will bankrupt the realm for several years.  Well, then. I’d better start making some money. Next time: Making some money CapnAndy fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Apr 17, 2014 |
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Apr 17, 2014 21:24
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I was assuming that the entire audience might not be able to read character trait icons at a glance, though?
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Apr 17, 2014 21:54
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Torrannor posted:What's up with the black flags/family crests? You didn't have those in your Alba game?
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Apr 17, 2014 22:05
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Torrannor posted:I find it ironic that you cannot borrow from Jewish moneylenders to solve your money problems.
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Apr 17, 2014 22:11
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Khan Yerlesnu, Part II: Making some money (944-949) With my coffers deeply in the red, there’s nothing to do but settle in for the long haul and wait it out.  Learning a thing or two about making money wouldn’t hurt, though.  Well, well. Look who finally died. I wish the new Basilissa a long, childless reign.  Speaking of children, I will raise my own, thank you.      Time passes and my debts diminsh, until finally my Steward collects a tithe that wipes them out completely.   The Byzantines have internal revolts to deal with, but my realm is peaceful.  ...wow. They’re not in very good shape at all. I can’t resist declaring war. A time of weakness like this is the only time that Byzantium is vulnerable. With luck, I can gain some victories while their armies are distracted elsewhere and claim a quick victory.      The educations of both my son and myself proceed well as I wait for my armies to gather.  If my spies were correct, this is more strength than the Byzantines have right now. If my spies were mislead, I’m in for some very unpleasant times.  Excellent. The Doge was the chief troublemaker in Khazaria; removing him ends my internal worries.   Well... drat. The good news is that I’ve already won some minor sieges and I haven’t seen their troops yet. I’ll continue ransacking what I can, and if I see an army I cannot defeat, I’ll send my troops back home and sue for a White Peace.  That’s good!  That’s bad.  That’s worse. I’m in no mood to engage a numerically superior foe, even if it is only by a few hundred men. My earlier defeats have left a lasting impression and I have no desire to experience another one. Luckily, they move south, apparently intent on crushing the remaining revolts.  Honestly, child, you could have just married the man.  So... I guess crushing the revolts went well? Okay, then.  It was worth a try. Next time: Trying something else
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Apr 18, 2014 15:50
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Khan Yerlesnu, Part III: Trying something else (949-951)   Here’s a nice soft target, and he’s a Catholic. Their foolish schism will prevent the Bulgarians or Byzantines from coming to his aid. Perhaps another front is just what I need to finally find military glory.    Rebellions are normally a threat. Rebels who chose to rise up in the very province where all my troops are already gathering in preparation for the invasion of Hungary are amusing diversions.  Gossip is a sin, but my experience with lashon ha’ra has taught me much of the ways of lies. A rather distasteful skill, but one required to live at court nonetheless.  Perhaps an example will keep the peasantry from following in this fool’s footsteps.  I have set spies on the Romans, and they bring me back valuable knowledge. I must choose how to apply it.    I see ways to apply these learnings to enhance my own bearing as one anointed by the Divine, to organize the craftsmen in the towns to better generate income, and to improve our cavalry tactics -- the last is crucial knowledge in the steppes.  It is a great Mitzvah to study the Torah!  Disheartening news! The Basilissa has had a son, despite herself -- her husband must be forceful indeed. I am about to follow my father’s example and rid the world of the young prince when I notice another detail in the reports I have received.  Upon further consideration, I have decided that young Gregorios is precisely the heir his people deserve.  Sending my brother to make overtures of friendship to the Byzantines tastes of ashes in my mouth, but the plain fact is that they are much, much more powerful than I am, and my attempted invasion while they were weak has left them angry and seeking revenge. I would pour honeyed words in the ear of a foe, rather than see my people suffer defeat.  Well that didn’t work at all, did it.   Venice as well? Back to Italia with you, and do not think I forget that you too were once Roman!  And now a Holy Order as well. I am suddenly outnumbered by professional soldiers. I cannot defeat this foe.  This is becoming upsettingly routine.  Of course they call a Crusade now. All the Holy Orders will be busy, and most of the Catholic nations will likely be sending their armies overseas at well. It would be an ideal time for a strike on Hungary, except that the ink on the damnable truce is barely a week dry. Incidentally.. Andalusia? My word. The sons of Ishmael have been busy.  As I get the money to do so, I continue to increase my retinue. If I can build up a force of enough Horse Archers to make up an entire flank of my army, I can do some very real damage on the battlefield.    The realm is at peace and I have money to spend, so I host a truly royal Seder for my vassals.  Oh, I am so screwed. Next time: Nothing good
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Apr 22, 2014 16:26
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Right now my best plan is to form up the troops, get 'em on a boat, and then see if I can sack Constantinople while the Byzantines are sieging my poo poo. The problem with this is that they're gonna siege way, way faster than I can.
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Apr 22, 2014 17:30
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The Mighty Biscuit posted:At the rate we are going, we are gonna get eaten by the Seljuks before we get an empire. Honestly, we should be looking to unite the steppes before we look towards the plains of Hungary and Bulgaria. Each county isnt all that great until we get to Turkistan and the Rus, but more holdings means more retinues. And our Retinues are god drat scary. Subjugating the pagans is a job for the future.
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Apr 22, 2014 22:39
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Even in the worst case scenario, they can only take us one duchy at a time, 10 years apart. We're not facing a game over here yet, guys. Just a humiliating drubbing.
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Apr 22, 2014 22:46
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Why did I sign up for this 
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Apr 23, 2014 05:21
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AJ_Impy posted:To give us an Empire. Like, no matter how badly you think things might have gone tonight? They were worse than that.
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Apr 23, 2014 05:35
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AJ_Impy posted:Dogpile wars from the Byzantines, Sunni, Tengri, Suomensko, Bulgarians, Hungarians and slavs, concurrent with a major independence revolt and at least three religious revolts, with your retinue wiped out to a man and your reserves drained, with your finances so far in the negatives that a smuggler's ring forms in your privy council.
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Apr 23, 2014 05:48
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SeaTard posted:Everything but the Seljuks, because it's too early for them still? The Byzantines split their forces, half to siege and half to chase my army -- which actually gives me a chance; I outnumber them 10,000 to 9,300. They massacre me. I lose the war. My brother is planning an invasion and I can't stop him. And literally three days after I surrender to the Byzantines, Cumania declares war.
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Apr 23, 2014 05:59
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AJ_Impy posted:Have you tried giving him a barony, say that old border fort gavelkind shunted us off to?
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Apr 23, 2014 14:50
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Khan Yerlesnu, Part IV: Nothing good (951-952) So the good news is, between my levies and my retinues, I’ve got over 11,000 men. That’s sizable. The bad news is, the Byzantines have twice those numbers.  My plan to load my troops onto ships and harass the Byzantines by making unpredictable strikes across the coastline of the sea we share hits a rather early snag -- I don’t have enough ships to do it. It’s certainly understandable that building a navy has been nobody’s priority, since we don’t actually have access to any oceans, but in this case it hamstrings me right out the gate.  I’m adding Hungary to the Enemies List as of now. They must be destroyed.  Betrayal, at this dark hour! Vile betrayal! My trusted brother, who I have named my Chancellor, is plotting to usurp my throne!  I do not wish this, brother. Why did you raise your hand against me?   I don’t remember who this is, but he’s got gold. I quite desperately need gold.  This incursion is the first hostile act of the war. As you can see, I am not yet done gathering my troops. However, either of the two largest groups should be large enough to handle this insult.  If the Byzantines stay this disorganized, I may be able to pick them off piecemeal. It’s nice to have something to hope for.  “Oh, dear Brother? I have a mission for you of utmost importance. Take this elite force I have assembled for you and drive the Byzantines out of our country! Hmm? No, I’m sure, they’re quite elite. Yes, I have every faith in your victory. My generals tell me it will be assured if you ride directly in the center, at the vanguard.”  A victory, but a troublesome one. With over twice their numbers, that should have been a slaughter, not a close-won slog. I had more men and better generals, but the Byzantine troops seem to inherently outclass ours.   That’s more like it, at least.  Not a scratch on him, somehow. drat.  The plot to kill him has stalled out at 93%, even with all my vassals currently having a perfect opinion of me due to the foreign invasion. Yecitrek is simply popular, and apparently “he’s gathering men to violently overthrow me” isn’t a good reason to throw him in jail. I’ll still do it if I have to -- I’d rather be a tyrant than a pauper -- but I really don’t want to.   The accursed Byzantines have split their forces, sending these 9300 men off specifically to chase down my armies, while leaving another 8000 behind to besiege my holdings. It is impeccable strategy. It also gives me an edge I did not have before.  I have more men. I appoint the greatest generals in the land to lead my army and wait -- they’re going to chase me down? No, I am going to offer them battle. If I can win this fight, I can win the war.  ...   ...but... I had more men.  i had more men Next time: What do you think happens next time
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Apr 23, 2014 17:53
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The Cumans declared war on me literally 23 days after that disasterous loss and my surrender, I have about two thousand men left. Three, if I'm lucky. They have ten. Also, that chasing force was faster than me, somehow. You saw them nabbing a group of 500 men before they could even join up with the main forces -- if I'd dodged them and gone to try to sack Constantinople as I'd originally planned, they would have followed, caught up, and smashed me against the walls. If I'd kept swinging through and hit the besieging forces, where I had an advantage of 2000 men, the chasing force would have been on my rear end before the battle was over and I would have gotten routed when the odds shifted to 17,000 vs 10,000. Offering planned battle with a numerical advantage, however slight, seemed the best option to me, and I really did think about it.
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Apr 23, 2014 19:50
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Khan Yerlesnu, Part V: Slings and arrows (952-955) A ray of hope: Cumania doesn’t have that many men. Depending on how long it takes them to form up their troops, I might be able to regenerate enough of my levies to make a fight of this.  Not yet though, obviously.  While I wait, I’m going to try to deal with my traitorous brother again. Perhaps giving him a Barony will end his foolish notion of raising an army to usurp me?  Turns out it doesn’t, but it also turns out that being in a position of power immediately makes a lot more people dislike you. Giving Yectirek that Barony worked, just not how I thought it would.  It’d be nice if I could handle a religious dispute just by writing a letter for once, wouldn’t it.  The Cumanians are starting to form up on the border. Time to raise my levies.  REALLY?!?!?     At least a few things are going right. It makes for a nice change.   I will mourn you, brother. I curse the madness that possessed you and took you down your fatal path of treason.  Now for the other adventurer who threatens my titles. This one’s very popular, unfortunately.  And fairly well protected.  With my Spymaster in place and building up contacts with the local cutthroats, my chances increase, but it’s still a coin-flip at best. I’ve got two years before he makes his move; I’m going to wait and save up my money and strike later.  The Cumanian army has invaded, but they took long enough that my preparations for their invasion have borne fruit. I have more men than they do; I should be able to handle this now. Actually, though, wait a second.  After my loss to the Byzantines, one of my courtiers pointed out that I’d spread my Horse Archers thinly across my flanks, rendering them somewhat useless. He suggested that I concentrate them alone on one flank, in the hopes that their superior mobility would crush the opposing flank and then allow my forces to roll up opposing armies as their flanks collapsed. The man seemed to be somewhat learned in military strategy; his advice seemed wise and I’m going to try it.    My brother left a pregnant wife behind, and she has given birth to a son. The boy shows immediate talent, and I still feel bad about what had to be done, so I grant him his father’s Barony.  Wonderful! Now, wasn’t there a fight going on or something...?    Wow. So, yeah: that worked. The Cumanian right flank collapsed upon the very first volley of my horse archers. My horse archer flank then wheeled around and hit the center flank from the side, which put them to flight as well, and the rest was slaughter. I must find that courtier and reward him for his wise advice. Some farmland, a manor, and servants, I think. Everyone likes servants.   Is this how it felt to be Father? It’s intoxicating.  I think I’ll sack the Cumanian capital next.  Tabghac has come of age and, not to flatter myself, but I’m quite proud of the job I did raising him. He’s a worthy heir.  In searching for a bride for my son, I find Yectirek’s widow. She is Quick, and still young, and of proven fertility. She’ll do nicely.  Prestige would be nice, but I have an adventurer to stab sooner than later.  My son is quite ambitious, which I have not forgotten. A position as Chancellor should keep him satisfied until he inherits.  Turning my eye to Byzantium, I see that young Gregorios died. Childhood is a dangerous time, of course, but I was quite hoping he’d make it.  The new heir to the throne is the Basilissa’s eldest sister... who is married to the King of Hungary! Ah, that’s why they’re allies.  It’s an alliance that I would like to see end.  My son takes well to his new job.  Good for them, I suppose. Not really my concern.  With Turgay sacked, the Cumanians are forced to surrender. I have finally tasted martial victory! Next time: More of the same, I hope
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Apr 26, 2014 00:03
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MagusofStars posted:Lurksion's math post looks straight up prescient:
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Apr 26, 2014 00:48
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AJ_Impy posted:You murdered your brother for political expediency, led your troops to victory against the Goyim through clever tactics, and are strategically assassinating our enemies to weaken them and destroy their alliances? Truly, you are a worthy son of the Dragon!
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Apr 26, 2014 20:06
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Amnistar posted:Just a note, when CapnAndy dies, I'm gonna snag the save to do a State of the World and look at where the other major players are at before we get to the next update. I'm gonna try to do one every hundred years or so.
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Apr 27, 2014 23:05
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ulmont posted:I have the file, and it works. No comments on the situation I find, mind you. That war we're in is already basically won. Finish besieging their capital, crush the army trying to lift our occupation, and then go and besiege something actually in the duchy we're warring for -- we lose warscore every month without something in that area sieged. My law is going to be to prioritize gaining a Jewish holy site. You'll need to go through the Saffarids for that, but we can't take 'em yet. Keep an eye on them. Keep the Byzantines happy. With them buttered up, that's a major dagger no longer at our throat. Park your Chancellor in Constantinople whenever possible. Cumania is weak. I was going to hit them again in 966 when the truce expired, but the truce died with me. Pick the duchy you like best and take it. Keep on saving up tech points for MilOrg4. There are so many easy pagan wins right on our doorstop (and, obviously, the more retinues the better). Any kids without a tutor were being tutored by me. They're important. Take them yourself if you can. I'm rooting for you
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Apr 28, 2014 00:10
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ulmont posted:Gah. Except for the loving huge army coming in to relieve from the ally that just? joined the war...
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Apr 28, 2014 00:44
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Khan Yerlesnu, Part VI: Victories (955-961) Right, time to deal with that upstart.   First time lucky, and for the first time in many years, my people face no external threats. It’s a wonderful relief.   I think my vassal Duke Itakh has the right idea. We know for a fact that Cumania’s had its armies broken and their cities are ripe to be sacked, because I just got done doing that. No reason why I can’t do it again.  Yes, I know, the last time I sent in an advance force before all my troops had arrived, it ended rather badly for me. But this time is different, they’ve got nobody to stop me.  Oh come the everloving gently caress on.   And so ends that alliance. Perhaps, if we’re very lucky, others will begin to notice the ill luck that plagues those who make an enemy of Khazaria.  “Pour out Thy wrath upon the nations that know Thee not, and upon the kingdoms that call not upon Thy name. For they have devoured Jacob, and laid waste his habitation.” - Psalm 79:6-7    Having the Spymaster of Hungary in my pocket ought to come in handy. Quite a stroke of luck to learn not only that he was for sale, but that his price was cheap.  See, moving in to Turgay early worked out fine. Looks like the Cumanians managed to scrape up another 2000 soldiers from who knows where, but that’s not a threat.  Wait, aww, hell. They’re heading for Itakh’s troops, not mine. That’s a fight they can win. I send my men in hot pursuit; can I catch up in time to turn the tide of battle?  Nope.   I do crush them when I arrive, but the damage has been already dealt. I badly want Itakh to win his war so I get two Cumanian duchies, but I might not get it now.  I am greatly pleased.   I always meant to give Yectirek a Duchy of his own, but I never conquered one for him before... well, before he passed away. I can make it up to his son.  Spoils of war. I’m keeping her; I have plans for the girl once she turns 6.  The rebels give me a reminder that I need to deal with them before disbanding my levies.  Wonderful! Now move on to the next one, Rabbi.   No more rebels.  That rebel had gold, which saves his life. I’d much rather have the money than another meaningless head mounted on my walls.   I hold a grand tournament to celebrate our country’s recent display of martial prowess. It is a glorious event.  And with the realm at peace, I have no distractions keeping me from holding a Seder this year.  Our Eastern border is a mass of one-county petty kingdoms. They’re ripe for conquest, except...  Pagan lands are deadly ground. The pagans do not know Jehovah, unlike all the civilized Peoples of the Book, but they know how to make life hell for an invading army.  I’ve set my finest minds to the task of neutralizing this pagan advantage, but they inform me we are still up to 20 years away from the task being completed. My ideas are ahead of their time, and they are having to invent the ideas themselves before they begin to make them workable.  To the west, however, I’ve spied a single independent duchy. Their Tengri beliefs will win them no friends, except for possibly the Cumanians, who are a shattered force twice over. Not a worry.   Ah, the poor child. Such a shame, but accidents do happen. Or so I’ve been told.  Twins in the ruling line are a wonderful surprise.  I’ve continued my practice of concentrating my retinues on their own flank of the army, but that’s starting to show problems. My retinues are capped, and as my levies grow, it’s going to result in a very undersized flank.  Yeah, saw that coming.  She really likes my son, which is great news. I don’t need another Byzantine invasion.   An easy victory. My favorite kind of victory!   Simsam is married matrilineally to my sister, so the title will pass down to family members. He’s a good choice. Next time: Planning for the future
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Apr 28, 2014 00:45
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Funky Valentine posted:Our Moral Authority must be amazing even with no the holy sites.
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Apr 28, 2014 00:52
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The Mighty Biscuit posted:They show up with about 12k troops. Not insurmountable. I was able to reduce it to a 200 man puddle in two battles. Even got Organizer and Mounted Leader on our new king in them! It did cost me 150 gold for a quick assassination of one of the flank leaders, but it was worth it. I killed him and rolled that flank up with our retinues. Then one siege later and I had 100% warscore. 
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Apr 28, 2014 02:04
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Wait, Ulmont is next in line, how come you're playing it?
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Apr 28, 2014 02:17
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