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Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:



Assassin's Creed IV #1

A game about pirates and glitches and no stealth whatsoever.
With A_Raving_Loon, FutureFriend, Killer Emcee, PA Master, and Madithen

"Basically there's nothing that people havn't tried loading into a cannon and a remarkable number of those things are actually useful." There is a surprising amount of truth in this statement.

Also just for :eng101:ness sake; if a fire started in a warship's magazine (where they keep all the gunpowder) it totally and absolutely blew the ship to hell. Setting fire to a warship's powder magazine was an extremely effective and reliable way to disable a ship.

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Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

anilEhilated posted:

30 seconds in and I'm already laughing out loud at Neckbeard the pirate. That aside, this is a pretty drat great game and hopefully this LP will go places.

They were too quick to settle on Neckbeard; Throatbeard would have been way better.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

EasilyConfused posted:

So this is what would have happened if RChimp had done his LP live.

TieTuesday's LP is a good example of why you shouldn't definitely should LP open world games blind.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:



part III

Plan is to stream more tomorrow at some point over at hitbox.tv/tietuesday

Don't worry, not all the assassination missions are 'follow a person', some of them are 'follow a boat!' :v:

That's right, you'll be taking part in the game's very first boat stealth section soon.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:

Are you loving kidding me right now?

At least we may be able to learn some more @Boatfacts.

I am not kidding you there are boat stealth sections where you basically just steer your boat between the various red cones of enemy boat vision and occasionally get caught anyway because a boat decided to turn for no good reson.

Use the minimap when you get to them, for the love of god use the minimap do not try and do it by eyeball.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

anilEhilated posted:

I lost it at the giant handbrake boat; haven't laughed this hard at an LP since Mercs 2. You guys are magical.
Putting a preventive request you at least attempt to sink the legendary shiboats once it becomes viable.

Dude without either being genuinely good at botes (hahahahahahahaha) or having the top tier bote upgrades (which you can't even unlock until the later parts of the game) attempting to fight the legendaries is either a futile exercise in insanity or a really boring slog where you hide in their one blind spot and punt cannonballs into them for half an hour.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:

This is amazing! How did this even happen how can I make this happen?

You have to sail for open water and then tip your boat over so that it is upsidedown at the moment the sun sets, the sign of your success will be the green flash as the last light falls below the horizon.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
It is important to remember reality was very unstable during much of the 18th century, it was not until the latter half of the 19th century that industrialization began to pin space-time down enough to stop it from occasionally turning inside out.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

anilEhilated posted:

I really hope you keep on the boating until the ending where Kenway explains the difference between a ship and a boat. It's just... perfectly fitting.

I'm like 95% sure that little bit of dialogue only exists because the devs knew that people would be making boat jokes constantly throughout the game.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:


Part 5
It happened, within the first 5 minutes of this video, it actually happened.
I can die happy.

A note on forts: the forts in AC4 are if anything underequipped with weaponry. While smaller coastal fortresses would maybe only have a few dozen cannons larger fortifications could sprout hundreds of cannons of various sizes as well as multiple mortars and were more than capable of fending off a siege from even small armadas for a considerable length of time.

Forts also often used hot shot; cannonballs heated until they were searing hot and then fired. The inherant danger of hot shot and the ease at which you could gently caress it up and blow yourself up meant that hot shot was too accident-prone to be easily used on ships. Forts though tend not to pitch and roll about in combat and are usually made of less flammable materials than a boat so hot shot works great for them. In general in the Age of Sail if you really wanted to take a fort you either showed up with some serious boat firepower or you went overland (which had its own issues).


Forts in AC4 are laughably pathetic and it's pretty easy to just run around and capture all the non-plot important ones that the game will let you capture right after your first round of ship upgrades (profitable too). I will admit however that boat battles in AC4 are quite complex and require you to pay attention to lots of things at once so I don't blame you for being terrible at it with those co-commentators distracting you :v:

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
The Legendary Boats are super fun to fight but you really want to have a fully or near fully upgraded ship before you take them on. You can defeat them earlier but it requires exploiting bugs in the bote AI and takes forever.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:



Speaking of storm wizards and side quests, here's that video!
I didn't segment it so it's really long (my mistake) so I threw some bookmarks on to maybe help out a bit?

Also gently caress wizards for real.

A detailed study of human history reveals that Wizards are responsible for everything that is bad in the world.

Wizards are the worst.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
It is pretty funny that Ubisoft made one of the best Pirate games ever made while instead trying to make a game about Assassins. I'm really beginning to notice a pattern with AAA open world style games that have amazing sidequest stuff and terrible main stories, I wonder if it's just a coincidence or not.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
To be fair Ubisoft have gotten really good at doing open worlds thanks all that practice making Ubisoft Games :v:

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:


Part 8
I found a side quest that unfortunately requires tailing and eavesdropping and dialogue and all of my favorite things.
I did however commit the best "stealth kill" so far in my Assassin's Creed experience.

(I profusely apologize if I get a bit whiny at the end. I just don't feel like the "stealth" elements are consistent and it makes me sad/mad.)

The stealth elements -are- consistant but they're super gamey and you keep trying to approach the stealth as if it were real stealth instead of game stealth :v:

Basically you're Assassin's Creeding wrong.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:

First you get the money, then you get the women, then you get the power.
Got it.

Also in boat combat when you are boarding people you can jump on a swivel gun and get a couple of shots with the gun. The shots explode violently and can be used to set off gunpowder (red barrels) on the other ship's deck and kill a number of crew to make the boarding faster. If you're careful you can often take out the entire crew of smaller boats, but on larger boats the extra casualties you can cause with the swivel gun are super useful.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
Unfortunately there are no boat prostitutes anywhere in the caribbean.

anilEhilated posted:

Woah, slow down here, we don't want him to learn every trick of the boating trade, else next we'll be telling him how to actually use the heavy shot.
Look to the side and fire your cannons without aiming...

Neruz fucked around with this message at 13:35 on Jul 31, 2014

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:


Part 9

This begins a 4 video run where I get totally sidetracked by boats and I don't give a gently caress :colbert:
After that I'm going to offscreen a bunch of side stuff mostly because you would not believe the excitement of hunting a howler monkey for 15 minutes multiple times :v:

First time I played AC4 I got lost in one of the larger inland areas and spent just over 3 hours chasing monkeys. I do not blame you for being distracted by monkeys :v:

Or boats for that matter, hell AC4 is at its best when you are not following the story at all and are just sailing around bein a pirate.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
The Assassins are all trying to convince Edward to find out what the Templars are up to and hes all 'I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME LOOTING THIS SPANISH TREASURE GALLEON!'

That is basically the entire game.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Sleepwise posted:

Aloha! Copy / Sleepwise here. I come before the SA hordes, humbled, yet shamelessly craven. I have decided to let my meagre viewership (of which I hope you may soon be a part, plox notice me reader-sempai ;_;) cast votes on which classic RPG gets a thorough seeing-to. Technically speaking, I have never done a full Let's Play, so it seems wise to allow the unwashed masses to point me in the right direction.

In the running we have Final Fantasy IX, Threads of Fate, Jade Cocoon : The Story of the Tamamayu, and Alundra 2.

To help you decide what you want, I've created four "One-Shots," sampler videos which are anywhere between 35 and 70 minutes in length. If you think you'd be interested in viewing a full Let's Play of one of these games, give the One-Shot a click, see if you'd be able to tolerate / masturbate to my sonorous tones for a lengthy period of time. Links :

[STUFF]

Votes can be cast however you like - this thread being the obvious place, but Youtube is fine. Criticism is loving invaluable at the moment. Mic volume needs lowering? Too much swearing? Tell me. I'll probably give it two or three days for everyone who has an interest to vote. Say Friday. After that, it'll be sixty-plus hours of myself & whatever classic you've condemned me to. Good times! In a bit, dudes. :]

I highly recommend you repost this in the Sandcastle; you're more likely to get actual real feedback there than here. If you've already done that then good job.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

TieTuesday posted:


Part 12

I undoubtedly broke the rules of the game this time and I'm not loving sorry. :colbert:

You didn't break the rules of the game; that is in fact a viable method for defeating higher level boats that will blow you out of the water if you try and fight them with your boat.

It is, however, very silly. I'm also not sure why the boat wasn't immediately boardable. Wheenver i've done that in the past the boat was immediately boardable for an autowin.

Neruz fucked around with this message at 10:22 on Aug 7, 2014

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Pizzatime posted:

crossposting from the yob, I hope that's not frowned upon.

playin some megazone, but mostly exed exes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdlDCWGnWds

Christ now there's a game I havn't seen in fuckin forever.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
Ah wonderful, it is spider time.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
I don't hold being scared of spiders against you, even if the spiders were super weak I understand some people have difficulty with giant spiders in videogames but those spiders are not weak.

Spider time is definitely once of the places when Dark Souls 2 turns up the Dark Soulsometer.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
My record for number of simultanious Skyrim mods is 218; at that number the game was playable for about ~15 minutes at a time between crashes. I use the term 'playable' lightly.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Danaru posted:

We ended up stopping the last time we played because the Dragonborn DLC became unbeatable. Not even from a mod, the last area just glitched out and we couldn't leave unless we used the console and broke every quest script ever. :shrug:

Solstheim is hilariously unstable even in an unmodded Skyrim, I have no idea why.

Forgall posted:

You haven't truly experienced Skyrim until you've played it with Realistic Horse Vaginas.

anilEhilated posted:

Tell me that's a joke. Please?

It's Not.
:nms:

Neruz fucked around with this message at 05:31 on Sep 1, 2014

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
quote is not edit

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
Welcome to Skyrim mods.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
Persona is an odd series, Persona 4 is a bit odd even by the standards of the Persona series. There's an anime of it going on atm that doesn't seem to be able to make up its mind if it wants to be a murder mystery, a supernatural action thriller or a slice of life romance story so its decided to do all three at the same time.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

FPzero posted:



Super Metroid Z-Factor is a romhack of Super Metroid made in 2012 by a hacker named Metaquarius. It's pretty good so I drag some friends along for the ride.

Part 1 - Spore Spawn Nesting Dolls with Artix, Blastinus, ddinkins and poorlywrittennovel.

The others are kind of quiet compared to you; hard to hear what they're saying sometimes.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness
I thought Adventure was the good one and Adventure 2 was kind of stupid and not so good.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Danaru posted:

The camera thing is always going to drive me nuts. I just want to look behind me for hidden presents :(





Let's Play Skyrim Episode 9 - Return to Riverwood

Shockingly, no one in Riverwood is overly happy to see us.

There was actually a word wall in that dungeon btw; it's just not at the end of the dungeon and is located in a recessed area in the room beyond the gates that opened automatically when you approached them at ~3:30

IIRC its Ice Form; the one that freezes people into solid ice statues that roll around while they take minor cold damage.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Forgall posted:

Become Ethereal actually.

Oh so its one of the best shouts in the game :v:

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Danaru posted:

poo poo, I'm definitely going back for that. :froggonk: We'll probably be recording either sonic or skyrim today, so I'm glad you mentioned it.

From memory you need to climb the pillars and then use your shiny new whirlwind shout to cross some gaps and you end up in this little grotto with plants and waterfalls and the word wall, but you're going in backwards so there might be another way to get at it. Poke around; its definitely in that large area past the gates that opened.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Croccers posted:

Does Crush 40 still make buttrock for the Sonic games?

I don't know if its still Crush 40 but the Sonic games definitely still have plenty of buttrock so there's no worries there.

Hell I think buttrock has become kind of an iconic part of the series by this point.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Scaramouche posted:

WTF is with that boobie design near the end. Clearly an artificial eye isn't the only enhancement she got.

It's a video game; the artists are contractually obligated to oversexualize any female entity that appears.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

CJacobs posted:

Play Dead Space 2 and then feel bad about saying this

There are always exceptions.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Rigged Death Trap posted:

The unitarians corner the women's clothing market, and all the shirts they make are low cut.

Because sex having is an important part of Unitology.

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

El Generico posted:

Beyond: Two Souls is a video game made by auteur developer David Cage and his team Quantic Dream. David Cage makes interactive, cinematic-style games, which is to say he makes QTE-fests that can barely be categorized as games at this point. Compared to his previous work, Heavy Rain, Beyond: Two Souls improves a little in terms of how action scenes are treated, but it loses out in terms of branching plot and other facets of gameplay. Heavy Rain has its apologists, but this one is much harder to defend overall, in no small part due to the terrible ways in which he handles sensitive material (speaking of which, be warned that this game contains attempted rape and suicide).

I'll be covering this one with my friend tungsten, doing live couch commentary in a somewhat 2007-ish manner. We'll be trying to play this game up for laughs as much as possible while playing in Duo mode, which means I'll be playing as Jodie (as played by Kitty Pryde), and he'll be playing as her ghost pal, Aiden (as played by Bill Cosby).



From memory; wasn't part of the whole 'naked Ellen Page model' fiasco was that they didn't even use Ellen Page's body; I remember something about how they actually did have the necessary data to make a naked Ellen Page model but instead they taped Ellen Page's face to someone else's body.

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Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Choco1980 posted:

You are now officially caught up to me in the game. Well, pretty much. I'm assuming the other endings are unlocked by getting all the gems, and by finding all the hidden letters (you find 2 in the video). I am in no hurry to do either.

I think there's one more ending that is gotten by entering on a different eversion level or something but frankly after getting one ending you might as well just watch the other endings on youtube because gently caress that.

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