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Cat Plant
Feb 11, 2007

There used to be green cats but they turned into plants because they slept too much.


Haha, my British colleague calls one of our client dogs Pickle and Picklebum, I love it!

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thatbastardken
Apr 23, 2010

strewth


sometimes I tell my dog that the holocaust happened.

Mapparu
Sep 22, 2013



Are you saying I only say these things to my pets when no one else is around?

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion


Drogo, did you know you have wag on your butt? Look at your butt, its got wag all over it!

Don't worry I'll get that wag off your butt *commence butt scratching*

Oh no! it's making the wag worse!

Disco Salmon
Jun 19, 2004


So, since September we have had a new kitten to add to our goal of being a crazy cat couple. He will be 6 months old on Jan 4th....he's gotten so big! His name is Finbarr....a fuzzy shelter kitty who looks like he wants to be a Norwegian Forest Cat/Maine Coon mixup thing, Too cute I tell you. Lovely personality, and is a snugglebunny cat.

However, Finn has discovered the joy of being Shoulder Cat. He thinks he is a parrot or a parakeet. My husband will lean over to get something out of a cabinet and immediately Finn is on his shoulders chirping away.

That is why he has the nickname Budgie now. He will sit on our shoulders like a scarf and chirp away and purr. Personally I think he does this because he knows its cute, and he uses it as a get out of trouble free card.

When no one is around, I call him Babycat or TinyCat....or Putz.

He answers to them all However...TinyCat is being shortened by my husband to TC. Short for TroubleCat. He lives up to the name....he is also known at times as "You lil pissant scrunchy stealing POS".

Finn also loves fish. He would be happy if he got nothing but fish every day for the rest of his life. And, he loves to eat. So, he is also known as FatBelly Finn Fishbreath Esq, First of His Name. I love this cat so much...he knows it too and uses it shamelessly against us.

Flaccid Trip
Apr 29, 2008



I've been telling Sheila that she's a stupid baby. And stupid babies need the most attention.

There are some days I communicate with her just by making fart sounds.

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

Because my family is made up entirely of huge nerds, we named our black cat Vashta Nerada (from Dr. Who, for those who are not huge nerds) because he was tiny (runt of the litter got loving huge), black, and ate everything. His name occasionally gets shortened by me to "Vash" when he's tearing rear end around the house - "Vash the Stampede".

I said we were huge nerds.

Dr Snofeld
Apr 30, 2009


I've been known to sing the "going to the park" song when I'm taking my dogs out of the house, which is mostly variations on the theme of: "Oh yeah, uh huh, we're going to the park."

Cat Plant
Feb 11, 2007

There used to be green cats but they turned into plants because they slept too much.


I've recently taken to singing to my clients (dog walker) and my own dogs. Making up stupid songs for whatever we're doing. And I spend a lot of time talking to my clients to the point where it affects my interactions with humans.

Kluliss
Mar 6, 2011

Cake, is it a drug, or is it simply a delicious chocolatey piece of heaven?


Me to our two guinea pigs: "Are you my pig-pigs? Yes you are! You are my pig boys, stinky pigs, are you stinky? Did you poo everywhere, did you?"

*catches pig for mandatory cuddles and nose-booping*

Latest trick is me putting my hand in the cage and saying "Self-boop time" as the pigs come and sniff (boop!) my fingers.

Have caught my husband doing similar things so at least it's not just me.

Wrestlepig
Feb 25, 2011

my mum says im cool

Toilet Rascal

A workmate of my brother apparently taught his dog to do the nazi salute. Whenever you say Heil Hitler to the dog she stands on her hind legs and raises her right paw, hoping to get a treat. Now I want to see whether anyone else has created fascist dogs. Sorry for telling you all this.

Cat Plant
Feb 11, 2007

There used to be green cats but they turned into plants because they slept too much.


chaos rhames posted:

Now I want to see whether anyone else has created fascist dogs.

Hadn't crossed my mind but now it's a motivation.

Good Will Hrunting
Oct 8, 2012

Fly on these secondhand wings
Willing to find out
What impossible means
I'll climb through the ladder
On feathers and dreams


My dog passed away a week ago. I moved out of my house last February, so I was only seeing him once a month for the past year. Every time I came home and he was sitting on my lap or the couch with me, I would tell him how much I loved him and how good of a friend he had been and how much I appreciated him being such a good listener.

glitchkrieg
Dec 10, 2004

"Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale."

chaos rhames posted:

A workmate of my brother apparently taught his dog to do the nazi salute. Whenever you say Heil Hitler to the dog she stands on her hind legs and raises her right paw, hoping to get a treat. Now I want to see whether anyone else has created fascist dogs. Sorry for telling you all this.

I saw a YouTube video where a guy was dog-sitting for some friends who were away on holiday. He managed to train the dog to think so that saying "kiddy porn" had the same effect as "walkies".

Bertrand Hustle
Apr 29, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

"Hey Pickle, how come you're so faaaat? You're such a fatty fat fat kitty!"

"I got your butt! I'm gonna steal your butt!"

khy
Aug 14, 2005



Buggiezor posted:

For anyone who hasn't seen the comic kaworu mentioned.
http://xkcd.com/231/
It's so true.

Also, my fiance acts all manly and will just say "Hey cat" while patting them on the head while I'm around. But I've caught him before cooing and sweet talking them before when I've come home or woken up when he thought I was still sleeping.

I liked that comic so much I had it made into a T-Shirt.

And I blubber at my cat like a baby all the time when there's absolutely zero chance of anyone ever seeing and/or hearing me do it.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Hair Elf

Every cat is actually named Butthead, no matter what their person says.

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."



Grimey Drawer

Kiska has a really sad-sounding meow no matter how happy she is so when she starts meowing I start going "OH NOOOO IT'S A SAAAAAAD CAT WHO IS SAAAADCATTING AROUND OH NOOOO."

Moon Potato
May 12, 2003



"You're my ocelittle but I love you oceLOT!"

GEEKABALL
May 30, 2011

Throw out your hands!!
Stick out your tush!!
Hands on your hips
Give them a push!!


Fun Shoe

I don't like those Poopy Kitten!
He's a Poopy Poopy Kitten!
Nobody likes those Poopy Kitten!
He's a Poopy Poopy Kitten!

I have no idea why he is sometimes plural.

Fortis
Oct 21, 2009



Now I sing to my cat. I am beyond help:

Little bo-foof,
Little bo-foof,
Little bo-foof in the mor-ning!

(Sometimes it's just 'Little bo-foof' over and over.)

and this one, to the tune of 'Walking on the Moon':

Kitty cat is what you are,
Stella bella boo

I'm glad my girlfriend thinks it's cute because it's all pretty much automatic now.

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011



when nobodys around i spit the entire lloyd banks verse on beamer benz or bentley to my lil woofer

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011


Buggiezor posted:

I still call my cats "sweet little itty bitty baby kitties" or some variation. Even though they're almost 3 at this point. They're still my little teeny kittens. And Cael is my little "Caliegh Kitty cutie kitty cat" or whatever I can think of that starts with Cs or Ks.

Sometimes I just babble incoherent syllables at them since I figure they can't understand me anyway, what's the difference.
I also sing the "What does the Fox Say?" song but substitute Fox for Cat and all the other sounds with meows and peeps and purrs.

Cummy

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on spec
Feb 2, 2014



Cat Plant posted:

Haha, my British colleague calls one of our client dogs Pickle and Picklebum, I love it!

sounds like something anyone could call the dog and it would still be really funny, haha

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