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DoctorStrangelove posted:In Mad Max: Fury Road a pregnant chick gets hit by a truck. Also, you find out that the main character's name is Max.
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Dec 7, 2015 21:16
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Jupiter Ascending is a dumb YA movie in which an ordinary girl finds out she's super special and some space weirdo kidnaps her. That gets resolved halfway through the movie, then the plot repeats itself.
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Dec 7, 2015 21:19
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in the robert pattinson classic remember me robert pattinson's character sits in his dads office after he gets his life together, than the camera zooms out of the office to reveal he's in the wtc, it's 9/11, and the plane's about to hit the tower
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Dec 8, 2015 06:47
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All Three Hobbits In the first, Dr Watson and a bunch of interchangeable dwarfs played by not-dwarfs set off to nick a gem from a dragon. In the second, they nick a gem from a dragon, angering it. In the third, a shitload of CGI fighting happens and orcs have Nydus canals for some reason but lose because plot after a bunch of dwarfs die. Blade Trinity Dracula isn't played by Triple H who also doesn't pedigree anything and they are defeated by a disinterested Wesley Snipes, a funny Ryan Reynolds and an iPod-listening Jessica Biel. Whiteout You can stop watching after you look at Kate Beckinsale's rear end inside of ten minutes because Tom Skerritt did it. Only God Forgives Autism in Thailand gets beaten to death by a Thai copper because his mum's a rancid oval office who also dies. The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Go look at the poster and maybe read the line synopsis at the top of IMDB. Everything you think would happen in a movie like this happens in this movie. Entourage the Movie Vince gets to direct a movie then things go wrong but things work out for all the gang and everything is better than before. I LOVE THIS FUCKIN' TOWN! Fant4stic Four A movie is cut to ribbons in a blatant fashion so it makes no sense and then a baddie who bears gently caress all resemblance to Doctor Doom turns up and the four defeat him with the power of working together and it will never get a sequel. Get Hard is every boring scene from Will Ferrell comedies strung together into an unfunny movie with Alison Brie in lingerie near the start. Will prevails.
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Dec 8, 2015 07:33
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Lollerich posted:Cloud Atlas makes no sense at all. You might think that at some point you would "get" "it" but you won't, because there isn't anything to "get". It makes no sense. Well, allow me to retort. Each one of the stories is based on a literary medium used throughout history. Beginning with the classic English diary adventure novel, an epistolary, a noir detective, a memoir, scifi, and returns to a thread ie oral story telling. The entire meditation is on the continuity of existence with homage to reincarnation while also detailing the cyclical nature of time. The plots are all tied together via cause and effect with the "birthmarks" acting as a catalyst and reminder that we are all humans throughout time regardless of time and circumstance. By enunciating this shared feature, the reader/viewer is reminded that those in both the past and future lead lives in the same way we do which Surprise Surprise is the entire purpose of story and fiction in the first place. Then the Wachowskis took many hormone pills and went all gender and race bender which aptly elaborates the aforementioned point. HTH
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Dec 8, 2015 07:50
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pleasecallmechrist posted:Well, allow me to retort. Each one of the stories is based on a literary medium used throughout history. Beginning with the classic English diary adventure novel, an epistolary, a noir detective, a memoir, scifi, and returns to a thread ie oral story telling. Nah.
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Dec 8, 2015 08:10
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Cloud Atlas is another one of those godawful movies that's all about visuals and poo poo but gets away with it because it's about ART and STORY and THE HUMAN CONDITION instead of ROBOTS and FIGHTING and FIGHTING ROBOTS.
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Dec 8, 2015 08:11
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Some broad outruns a Tyrannosaurus in heels in Jurassic World and never have cell phones and radios been so plot-driven capricious as in that movie.
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Dec 8, 2015 08:19
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In Avengers age of ultron the avengers win by stealing the bad guys uber bot and programming themselves.
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Mar 29, 2016 22:37
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Battlefield Earth: the air on Zeist or whatever John Travolta's home planet is called reacts violently with radiation so they just throw a nuke through a Stargate and it basically kills all of them. It kinda doesn't make sense how they were able to curb stomp humanity in the first place if their poo poo starts exploding whenever they get too close to some uranium but whatever.
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Mar 29, 2016 22:47
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This thread deserves to be dead by now. But regardless, I was just talking with my mom about cloud atlas. Both me and my mom think that people who are incapable of understanding it are stupid as gently caress and don't deserve to live. If you just hate it that"s one thing but if you fail to understand please choke on food cuz you're too retarded to remember to swallow, then die. It's clearly about freedom vs oppression and the cyclical nature of time/history. All the characters win their freedom from oppressors, although some are less obvious than others. Future creole tom hanks is his own oppressor, for instance. Gotta fight dat babylon me bruddah. Like, the oppression angle couldn't be more apparent if someone wrote "opression, mang" on their dick and slapped you in the face with it. Defs not rocket science. The Fountain had this same problem. "Too many stories, cannot understand." Hmmm, maybe the fact that every story is about the same dude accepting death might clue you in? Moran.
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Mar 29, 2016 22:59
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Volcott posted:Battlefield Earth: the air on Zeist or whatever John Travolta's home planet is called reacts violently with radiation so they just throw a nuke through a Stargate and it basically kills all of them. It kinda doesn't make sense how they were able to curb stomp humanity in the first place if their poo poo starts exploding whenever they get too close to some uranium but whatever. It is impossible to talk enough smack about battlefield earth. I was a teenager and working in a movie theater when the original movie was released. It was so bad I remember it clearly to this very day. We sometimes stayed after work to watch a movie that was coming out the next day. One time it was The Skulls. The battlefield earth preview was spliced in beforehand. Toward the end Klingon John Travolta is close mugging the camera and giving a villain speech. He has noseplugs up both nostrils and his voice is pretty weird because of it (try monologuing while holding your nose shut) AND he's chewing the scenery as hard as he can. All my coworkers and I busted out in riotous laughter in the same instant. Of all the dumbass poo poo I done seen in my life, that seriously stands out as being up there toward the most ludicrously retarded top.
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Mar 29, 2016 23:20
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Nathilus posted:It is impossible to talk enough smack about battlefield earth. I was a teenager and working in a movie theater when the original movie was released. It was so bad I remember it clearly to this very day. We sometimes stayed after work to watch a movie that was coming out the next day. One time it was The Skulls. The battlefield earth preview was spliced in beforehand. Toward the end Klingon John Travolta is close mugging the camera and giving a villain speech. He has noseplugs up both nostrils and his voice is pretty weird because of it (try monologuing while holding your nose shut) AND he's chewing the scenery as hard as he can. All my coworkers and I busted out in riotous laughter in the same instant. Of all the dumbass poo poo I done seen in my life, that seriously stands out as being up there toward the most ludicrously retarded top. I saw it in theaters with my dad. My movie suggestions were taken with a grain of salt for a good decade afterwards.
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Mar 30, 2016 00:50
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In Hardcore Henry, Henry's wife is actually the bad guys wife and she's been playing him the entire time to motivate him to kill so they could test out their super soldier program.
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Jul 7, 2016 13:12
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cum_dumpster posted:in cloud atlas tom hanks speaks with a really dumb fake accent and the asian chick from the future turns out to be the jungle people's god You speak the true true
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Jul 7, 2016 16:25
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