|
Watchmen Stalin did nothing wrong
|
# ? May 12, 2014 02:41 |
|
|
# ? Mar 29, 2024 02:02 |
|
in Lost in Translation Bill Murray is a creepy weirdo who has sex with a lounge singer and then Scarlett Johansen gives him a hug because her boyfriend or whoever the gently caress is a giant poo poo in Signs it turns out the aliens are allergic to water so Mel Gibson saves the planet with his supersoaker
|
# ? May 12, 2014 03:55 |
|
In the wizard of oz it was all a dream
|
# ? May 12, 2014 15:50 |
|
In U.S. Marshalls Tommy Lee Jones is obstreperous while the audience tries to care
|
# ? May 12, 2014 16:34 |
|
In "the wizard of oz" the wizard isn't actually a wizard but a short man from america
|
# ? May 14, 2014 05:39 |
|
Goldeneye - Boris is not actually invincible
|
# ? May 14, 2014 05:52 |
|
Not sure if this one has been said yet but jesus dies in the passion of christ.
|
# ? May 14, 2014 06:30 |
|
in Skyline the protagonist's brain is put into one of the alien machine bodies but for some poorly-conveyed reason he does no assimilate and uses his new powerful form to rescue his girlfriend and destroy the alien ship from the inside that series of events could have been the premise of a nice movie, instead it was the short ending of the boring shitfest that was Skyline
|
# ? May 14, 2014 06:39 |
|
Avatar: Main character dude fucks an alien girl's hair, then dies and chooses to become an alien because the aliens are nobel savages and nobel savages have more fulfilling lives. Also the USA sucks.
|
# ? May 14, 2014 06:42 |
|
In Saw, Saw II, Saw III, Saw IV, Saw V, Saw VI, and Saw 3D people have to survive elaborately constructed torture porn traps designed to test the willpower of the victims. The villain is an old guy with cancer who dies in the third movie, but because people were willing to throw away money they decided to keep making more.
|
# ? May 14, 2014 06:50 |
|
Dune: Guy gets sent to alien planet to gather a resource that can only be found there. Goes native and fucks one of the native chicks. As part of his initiation has to tame some crazy local fauna and ends up saving the planet from hostile invading forces. This works for Avatar too. Two birds with one stone hth.
|
# ? May 14, 2014 07:43 |
|
Phrasing posted:This works for Avatar too. Two birds with one stone hth. Avatar wasn't based off a much better novel
|
# ? May 14, 2014 07:50 |
|
Kavak posted:Avatar wasn't based off a much better novel it was based off of a bucket full of rancid diarrhea that james cameron kept in his sleeper cab when he was a trucker
|
# ? May 14, 2014 08:01 |
|
At the end of Darkest Hour we learn why you should hire a professional special effects artist. Also some kid goes all "America, gently caress yeah!" And America's his way through Moscow. Also Swedes are shifty.
|
# ? May 14, 2014 08:20 |
|
In Step Up 2: The Streets, the guy who gets expelled from MSA gets to come back to MSA because he stepped up and showed how Baltimore is a-ok.
|
# ? May 14, 2014 08:47 |
|
in Enter the Void the main character is shot and killed within 20 minutes in Flatliners kefir sutherland dies four twenty minutes in order to go back in time and trade places in the tree with the inbred kid from Jurassic park
|
# ? May 14, 2014 09:52 |
|
amityville anus posted:in Enter the Void the main character is shot and killed within 20 minutes ...and then spends the rest of the film as a ghost watching his sister get nailed.
|
# ? May 14, 2014 10:19 |
|
in beauty and the beast, the beast is a prince
|
# ? May 15, 2014 04:46 |
|
In Funny Games, it's you, you are the villain In Shortbus paper-thin characters learn a valuable lesson about letting go while having the least erotic sex ever put to film Big Stan saves the prison full of rapists from the evil warden with magic kung fu he learned from David Carradine, who it turns out is not cucking him at all. thank heavens
|
# ? May 15, 2014 11:20 |
|
In Indiana Jones four they hide in a fridge
|
# ? May 18, 2014 19:50 |
|
in Contact the aliens are Jodie Foster's dad
|
# ? May 18, 2014 19:51 |
|
in the neverending story the story actually ends just before 2 hourse
|
# ? May 19, 2014 15:08 |
|
in godzilla 2014 in 1999, scientists Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins) are called to a quarry in the Philippines where a colossal skeleton and two egg-shaped pods have been discovered, one having hatched, and something has escaped to the sea. Near Tokyo, Japan, the Janjira nuclear plant starts experiencing seismic activity. Plant supervisor Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) sends his wife Sandra (Juliette Binoche) and a team into the core to look for damage. As the team makes its inspection, an explosion occurs, threatening to release radiation to the outside. Sandra and her team are not able to escape, and the plant collapses into ruin. The disaster, attributed to an earthquake, results in the evacuation and quarantine of the Janjira area. Fifteen years later, Joe's son Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is an explosive ordinance disposal officer in the United States Navy, living in San Francisco with wife Elle (Elizabeth Olsen) and son Sam (Carson Bolde). When Joe is arrested for trespassing in the quarantined area, Ford travels to Japan to assist him. Intent on discovering the true cause of the catastrophe, Joe convinces his son to accompany him to Janjira for Sandra's sake, where they discover no signs of radiation. They also visit their old house, which is situated in the quarantined area. While there, father and son are both alerted to the sound of a helicopter. When they go outdoors to investigate, they are surprised to see activity on the power plant. They are arrested by local security and taken to a secret facility built within the power plant's ruins. The facility is built around a massive chrysalis that contains the monster that destroyed the plant, and is being studied by Serizawa and Graham. The chrysalis hatches and unleashes a colossal winged creature, which devastates the facility and flies off. Joe is critically wounded in the chaos, which eventually leads to his death. Serizawa, Graham, and Ford joins a US Navy team to track the monster, using the aircraft carrier USS Saratoga (CVN-88) as a base of operations. Aboard the Saratoga, Ford is informed by Serizawa and his team that the creature he saw at Janjira was a MUTO (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism), an ancient creature from a much earlier time which feeds off radiation and radioactive material. As the earth's radiation subsided it moved underground and put itself in a cryptobiotic state. It in turn is being hunted by a much larger animal that was awoken during a deep sea expedition in 1954. Its existence has been continually covered up following numerous failures to kill it with nuclear weapons. Ford reveals that his father had tracked a form of echolocation from the Janjira area, which leads the team to believe the MUTO was communicating with something else. A U.S. Army Special Forces team in Hawaii finds the wreck of a Russian nuclear submarine that has reported an attack and finds the MUTO feeding on its reactor. The military attacks the MUTO and a battle ensues at Honolulu International Airport. The larger creature, named “Godzilla”, arrives and fights the MUTO, which flees by air. The second MUTO pod, which was brought from the Philippines to the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste repository, hatches and a larger, female MUTO devastates Las Vegas before heading west. Serizawa believes the two creatures will meet to breed. The military plans to kill all three monsters with a powerful nuclear weapon. A train is loaded with two warheads to take to San Francisco, but it is intercepted and destroyed by the female MUTO which eats one of the warheads. The other warhead is taken by helicopter to San Francisco, where it is put on a boat and armed. The MUTOs, however, steal the warhead and the female MUTO constructs a nest around it in the middle of downtown San Francisco, threatening the lives of millions. Godzilla arrives in San Francisco to confront the monsters. While the MUTOs are distracted with Godzilla, Ford and a team of soldiers enter the nest and try to disarm the warhead. They discover it is badly damaged and cannot be disarmed, so they plan to take it out to sea and let it detonate. While Godzilla is fighting the MUTOs, their combined force begins to overwhelm him. The nest is filled with eggs and Ford uses a fuel truck to incinerate the nest, distracting the female MUTO from the fight and leaving just the male to fight Godzilla. Godzilla then kills the male MUTO by biting it and then slamming it into a skyscraper with his tail, impaling it. Godzilla and Ford share a stare, before Godzilla is engulfed by the falling skyscraper. Ford runs to the docks, where the enraged mother MUTO slaughters the soldiers, but Ford manages to get to the boat with the female MUTO in pursuit. Just when she is about to destroy the boat, Godzilla surprise attacks the female MUTO and holds her jaws open, firing his atomic breath down her throat and tearing her head off in the process. Ford then gets the boat out to sea and is saved by a rescue team just before the warhead detonates, while Godzilla collapses on the shoreline and is still. In the aftermath, Ford is reunited with his wife and son. Godzilla, thought dead, awakens, lets out a roar of triumph and returns to the ocean, hailed as the "King of the Monsters" and "City's Saviour?" by the media.
|
# ? May 19, 2014 15:10 |
|
The 1980s horror film Breeders: The greatest monster of all is Man.
|
# ? May 20, 2014 02:56 |
|
In zodiac they don't find out who did it
|
# ? May 20, 2014 08:38 |
|
At the end of Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World everyone agrees that nerd culture should be dragged out into the streets and murdered.
|
# ? May 20, 2014 09:15 |
|
The black guy from twin peaks is the same character as the escaped convict turned city sheriff in the elephant man
|
# ? May 20, 2014 09:54 |
|
Bloodline: It's a fake documentary. A guy involved admitted to that.
|
# ? May 20, 2014 14:09 |
|
In the Transformers series some giant robots do some poo poo there's Shia LaBeouf there's some dumb plot poo poo who gives a gently caress the end
|
# ? May 20, 2014 14:11 |
|
Tomb Raider: Lara Croft is a charmless character that it is impossible to feel bad for when even magical beings are telling her she's endangering all of existence with her dumb, self-centered behavior and not even U2's catchy song can save you now.
|
# ? May 20, 2014 14:34 |
|
Chris Pynes Knob posted:in godzilla 2014 in 1999, scientists Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins) are called to a quarry in the Philippines where a colossal skeleton and two egg-shaped pods have been discovered, one having hatched, and something has escaped to the sea. Near Tokyo, Japan, the Janjira nuclear plant starts experiencing seismic activity. Plant supervisor Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) sends his wife Sandra (Juliette Binoche) and a team into the core to look for damage. As the team makes its inspection, an explosion occurs, threatening to release radiation to the outside. Sandra and her team are not able to escape, and the plant collapses into ruin. The disaster, attributed to an earthquake, results in the evacuation and quarantine of the Janjira area. Searched for "Godzilla" didn't find it until the last half of this summary. Won't be watching the movie. Thanks goons!
|
# ? May 20, 2014 17:33 |
|
In Neighbors Seth Rogan proves to himself that nothing will ever top This is The End
|
# ? May 20, 2014 21:43 |
|
JediTalentAgent posted:Tomb Raider: Lara Croft is a charmless character that it is impossible to feel bad for when even magical beings are telling her she's endangering all of existence with her dumb, self-centered behavior and not even U2's catchy song can save you now. Tomb Raider: Daniel Craig does an American accent
|
# ? May 20, 2014 22:51 |
|
willy wonka and the chocolate factory: charlie sucks on willy wonkas magic lollipop while grandpa jo watches on
|
# ? May 22, 2014 09:30 |
|
Wing Commander either studio interference is a very bad thing or Chris Roberts is a hack. Both are equally valid
|
# ? May 22, 2014 13:50 |
|
Veronica Mars: People who bitch and moan about Hollywood making nothing but sequels, spinoffs, and remakes donate money to a zillion-dollar entertainment conglomerate so they'll make a sequel
|
# ? May 22, 2014 19:00 |
|
Carnosaur they find the cure but then soldiers bust in and kill everyone anyway.
|
# ? May 22, 2014 19:09 |
|
amityville anus posted:in Enter the Void the main character is shot and killed within 20 minutes that sounds like The Place Beyond The Pines ryan gosling is shot by bradly cooper 10 minutes into the movie. this is followed by 2 hours of boring poo poo as bradly cooper's gay son befrinds ryan goslings gay son and boring stuff happens. ryan goslings gay son finds out bradly cooper shot ryan gosling and then tries to kill bradly cooper's son but cooper cries and apologies and ryan goslings son runs away to buy a motorcycle
|
# ? May 22, 2014 19:16 |
|
Volume posted:The dude in +1 ends up killing his ex-girlfriend because she wouldn't take him back. But it's ok because he just hooks up with a previous version of her self that he manipulated into wanting him again. I'm in this movie btw you should see it
|
# ? May 22, 2014 19:18 |
|
|
# ? Mar 29, 2024 02:02 |
|
The American Dream posted:In Caligula Hellen Mirren got some bomb rear end titties In Savage Messiah the same thing happens
|
# ? May 22, 2014 19:21 |