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Spookydonut
Sep 13, 2010

"Hello alien thoughtbeasts! We murder children!"
~our children?~
"Not recently, no!"
~we cool bro~

Major_JF posted:

From what I heard you can expect bears.

What caused me to stop playing was game breaking bugs.

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JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Quid posted:

That's disappointing to hear about 3. But yeah, I'm not expecting much. Just something about the gameplay just feels off. Is IV any better?
IV is a fantastic pirate adventure game with a half-decent Assassin side-plot.

Spookydonut
Sep 13, 2010

"Hello alien thoughtbeasts! We murder children!"
~our children?~
"Not recently, no!"
~we cool bro~

JT Jag posted:

IV is a fantastic pirate adventure game with a half-decent Assassin side-plot.

The best part of 3 was the pirating adventures. Glad to hear they at least learned something from that train wreck.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick



Nap Ghost

Quid posted:


That's disappointing to hear about 3. But yeah, I'm not expecting much. Just something about the gameplay just feels off. Is IV any better?

Black Flag is up there with AC2 and Brohood as the best games in the series.

They rejiggered the control scheme (for the better) in 3, but there aren't as many great free running spots that take advantage of it, because Boston and NY are too heavily developed.

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part VI: An Assassin in Sultan Beyazid's Court


Click picture or link for video


Vicas and wdarrk join me for some goofy times as we end Sequence 3 and begin Sequence 4, the Sequence whose first mission is one of the most memorable in the series so far. As I mentioned in the video, I was really disappointed in Ezio for not not singing about the assassination of the Doge of Venice in Assassin's Creed II. But, he does make a lot of references, including a ballad about the Pazzi brothers, barbs at Rodrigo, Cesare, and Lucrezia Borgia (the latter of how he lays a really sick burn about her incestuous tendencies), and even a his brief affair with Caterina, which began in Assassin's Creed II and continued into Brotherhood

Since I was talking about the third siege of Vienna by the Ottomans, I thought I'd expand a bit on that. As I mentioned in the video, Suleiman attempted to conquer the city twice, but was beaten both times (well, to be exact, he tried again in 1532, but he never actually made it to the city. A force of Croatian and Hungarian soldiers under the leadership of the Hapsburg monarchy stopped them in Hungary). In 1683, the Ottomans tried again. The great Catholic powers of Eastern Europe, Poland (technically the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth) and Austria, joined forces to fight back the Empire. The dramatic climax of the siege was Poland's king, John III Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history to rout the Ottoman siege and push them south of the Danube. Although the Ottoman Empire recovered some of the territory lost in the ensuing pursuit, the last siege of Vienna decidedly showed the Ottoman Empire had gone as far as it would go in Europe, and the technological edge the Empire had in the 16th century was gone.

The decline of the Ottoman Empire is a very long, very complicated topic, but a lot of it has to do with conservative influences like the Janissary Corps, who were completely out of control by the time they were disbanded, gradually winning out over reformer elements. Of course, joining Germany in World War I didn't do them any favors in the end.

Sylphid fucked around with this message at 03:26 on May 9, 2014

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.



Grimey Drawer

Yes, the best mission in the game. I love how Ezio pokes fun at the plot of previous games... And mechanics, since running down minstrels is totally a thing you'll be doing a lot in AC2.

cokerpilot
Apr 23, 2010

Battle Brothers! Stop coming to meetings drunk and trying to adopt Tevery Best!

Lord General! Stop standing on the table and making up stupid operation names!

Emperor, why do I put up with these people?


I like how chill he is about the fact that you just rammed a piece of wood into the guy trying to kill him.

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part VII: The Hunt Begins


Click picture or link for video
No commentary over cutscenes

I manage to rope in eternal guest commentator Toffile again, along with surprise guest Faerie Fortune, as she Britishes up this video something awful. Ezio finds himself growing more and more suspicious of the captain of the Janissary Corps, Tarik Barleti, but he retrieves the second Masyaf Key before he begins to follow up on his hunch. Ezio sees Altair's life again, this time just after the death of Al Mualim.

Sylphid fucked around with this message at 18:37 on May 13, 2014

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.



Clapping Larry

So there's an ancient forgotten book just... chillin' under a roof tile?

It must not rain a lot in Constantinople.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.



Grimey Drawer

Glazius posted:

So there's an ancient forgotten book just... chillin' under a roof tile?

It must not rain a lot in Constantinople.

And that's not anywhere near the most absurd place they're hidden in.

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.




If you could have the no commentary over cutscenes version up at the same time as the regular one, I'd appreciate that.

Or you could just tone down the talkiness a bit. Just... talk when you guys actually have something interesting to say?

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part VIII: The New Byzantine Empire



Click picture or link for video
No commentary over cutscenes

Vicas and Toffile join me for a plot-important video, as we find out the ultimate objective of the Byzantine Templars, and we meet the collaborators and brains behind the operation.

cokerpilot
Apr 23, 2010

Battle Brothers! Stop coming to meetings drunk and trying to adopt Tevery Best!

Lord General! Stop standing on the table and making up stupid operation names!

Emperor, why do I put up with these people?


Is it weird that I had the exact same thought at the end of that video. I really do hope it doesn't have thorns or else that would hurt so much.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.



Clapping Larry

Huh. You can Eagle Splash into things that aren't hay carts/bales/piles? When did that start being a thing?

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


I am such an idiot. I was doing a recording of The Lost Archive, but I failed a ton of times and I just didn't like the way the recording was going, so you know what I did? I deleted the file, so I could re-record everything from scratch and get things right. You know what I also deleted upon deleting that save of Lost Archive? My goddamn main save game.

So, about 65% of the way through the game, and I get to do it all over again. Guess I know what I'll be doing for the next couple days. Goddammit.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013






Welp. Guess it'll be a while for the next update.

But seriously though, that really sucks dude! Hopefully it's not too much of a pain to go through things again. At least it's a fun game, it's not like you're going through ACIII or something)

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Well, I can already tell you all that I won't be getting 100% sync in the new save game file. I assigned one of my Assassins to a den (Constantine North), and did the first Master Assassin mission with her with no incident. Unfortunately, seems the game has glitched me again and ate that recruit. I can't select her to go on missions, and the game won't tell me where she is. It seems she's just completely vanished.

But here's the rub. Since she still technically exists, she's still the assigned leader of that den. But because I can't re-assign leadership of dens, I can't get around this. I simply cannot do the second Master Assassin mission in Constantine North. I'll of course record that mission and upload it as an addendum to the second Master Assassin mission compilation update, but man does that piss me off. That's never happened before. And no, I'm not starting a third new game, except to record that mission.

wdarkk
Oct 26, 2007

Friends: Protected
World: Saved
Crablettes: Eaten


Sylphid posted:

Well, I can already tell you all that I won't be getting 100% sync in the new save game file. I assigned one of my Assassins to a den (Constantine North), and did the first Master Assassin mission with her with no incident. Unfortunately, seems the game has glitched me again and ate that recruit. I can't select her to go on missions, and the game won't tell me where she is. It seems she's just completely vanished.

But here's the rub. Since she still technically exists, she's still the assigned leader of that den. But because I can't re-assign leadership of dens, I can't get around this. I simply cannot do the second Master Assassin mission in Constantine North. I'll of course record that mission and upload it as an addendum to the second Master Assassin mission compilation update, but man does that piss me off. That's never happened before. And no, I'm not starting a third new game, except to record that mission.

See this is just another reason to keep backup saves.

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part IX: Tales from Constantinople


Click picture or link for video
Edited version

With wdarkk and the one whose name shant be spoken in a video. We accomplish all sorts of random tasks throughout the city, including visiting Vlad the Impaler's Tomb, the Forum of the Ox, and another den defense. The edited version doesn't have commentary over Vlad's tomb or Forum of the Ox, since the music for the latter is so good.

KKoserYaks
May 4, 2012

And what you call chaos is my beauty.

Alta´r's Sword is available after you complete all the Assassin guild challenges. Strangely enough, Alta´r's Sword is actually a 5/5/5 in AC2 and ACB, but is only a 5/3/4 in this game. Yusuf's Turkish Kijil is actually a 5/5/5, and is much easier to acquire than Alta´r's Sword.

Spookydonut
Sep 13, 2010

"Hello alien thoughtbeasts! We murder children!"
~our children?~
"Not recently, no!"
~we cool bro~

KKoserYaks posted:

Alta´r's Sword is available after you complete all the Assassin guild challenges. Strangely enough, Alta´r's Sword is actually a 5/5/5 in AC2 and ACB, but is only a 5/3/4 in this game. Yusuf's Turkish Kijil is actually a 5/5/5, and is much easier to acquire than Alta´r's Sword.

Unlike WH40k, older swords aren't better. However, how did Ezio lose Altair's sword between AC2 and Revelations?

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012






Spookydonut posted:

Unlike WH40k, older swords aren't better. However, how did Ezio lose Altair's sword between AC2 and Revelations?

Metroid Syndrome.

KKoserYaks
May 4, 2012

And what you call chaos is my beauty.

Spookydonut posted:

Unlike WH40k, older swords aren't better. However, how did Ezio lose Altair's sword between AC2 and Revelations?

I chalk it down to him losing it during the Villa attack in Brotherhood. As for how he lost it again, you got me there.

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Spookydonut posted:

Unlike WH40k, older swords aren't better. However, how did Ezio lose Altair's sword between AC2 and Revelations?

Well, at the end of ACII, canonically he went to Rome with Altair's Armor and Sword and came back to Monteriggioni with same, so I assume the sword was lost alongside the armor when Cesare's army attacked at the start of Brotherhood. Ezio should really be more careful with Altair's stuff, especially since in the third Altair memory, Altair is using the Sword of Altair for the first time, and Ezio lost armor made from looking into the Apple of Eden.

Actually, funnily enough, there's a whole Apple of Eden subplot glossed over in Revelations. Mehmet II, the Ottoman Sultan who conquered Constantinople, apparently had an Apple, according to some spinoff card game thing. The Apple was stolen by Mehmet's son Cem, who attempted to become the Sultan but lost out to Beyazid. Cem then hid the Apple in the Templar Archive on Cyprus for safekeeping, where it was retrieved by the Templars operating in Italy and brought to Rodrigo Borgia, when it then was seized by Ezio and the Assassins and eventually wound up in the hands of Desmond and the modern day Assassins. That Apple's had quite a roadtrip, and I wish there was at least a winking nod toward that in this game.

But as much of a roadtrip that Apple went on, it's nothing like the one (end-game spoilers for this game) the Apple in Altair's library went on. It first showed up in Solomon's Temple, was taken by the Assassins, then after Al Mualim's death Altair kept it on his person as he went to Mongolia and back. After Altair seals himself in the library, it stays in there for like 250 years, until Ezio opens the library and turns down taking it out.

Then soon after someone else gets into the library and removes it, bringing it to Queen Elizabeth II, before it ends up in the hands of George Washington, FDR, and Kennedy before the Templars formally take possession of it following the Kennedy Assassination. Then it's taken to Denver's International Airport before the bumbling Templars destroy it). Of course, The Tyranny of King Washington retcons Washington's Apple involvement as something he never actually used but still was aware of

Sylphid fucked around with this message at 07:09 on Jun 6, 2014

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part X: Mistaken Identity



Click picture or link for video
No commentary over cutscenes

Alongside my mysterious guest commentator, whose name seems to change from video to video, we end Sequence 5 and enter Sequence 6 hunting Tarik Barleti, whose actions cast grave suspicion upon himself and the entire Janissary Corps. We'll need to get close to him to find out the nature of his plans, if you know what I mean.

Also, because things kind of worked out in a bad way, Sequence 6's intro cutscene

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.



Grimey Drawer

Actually, IV has Altair's sword (cloned by what I'm assuming to be Animus screwery to fit the protagonist's dual-wielding style) too. It's pretty lovely though.

cugel
Jan 22, 2010


Tulips were a huge deal in the 17th century.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulip_mania

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part XI: No Turning Back


Click picture or link for video
No commentary over cutscenes


As Suleiman must deal with the consequences of ordering the death of Tarik Barleti, a loyal Janissary to the end, Ezio retrieves the fourth Masyaf Key from Maiden's Tower. Now, with no keys not in Assassin or Templar hands, Ezio must travel to Cappadocia to hunt down Manuel Palaiologos, whose is holed up in the mountainous region with his Byzantine Templar army. But the Janissaries may not want us to leave the city...

Meanwhile, Altair returns to Masyaf after 20 years to once again assume leadership of the Levantine Assassins, but Abbas is not likely to give it up easily.

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part XII: The Master Assassins, Part 1


Click picture or link for video


The Small Pile of Slush Right Just in Front of the Rangers' Goal Line and Vicas join me for a number of odds and ends around Constantinople, most prominently some of the Master Assassin missions. Thrill as I turn a simple pickpocketing mission into a nightmare as some guards are in the wrong place at the wrong time. No edited version this time because there's no official cutscenes.

Sylphid fucked around with this message at 09:25 on Jun 17, 2014

bman in 2288
Apr 21, 2010


anilEhilated posted:

Actually, IV has Altair's sword (cloned by what I'm assuming to be Animus screwery to fit the protagonist's dual-wielding style) too. It's pretty lovely though.

Really? I thought it was the Pistol Swords (swords with pistols in the hilts, unique animations). I didn't even think Altair's swords were in IV.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.



Grimey Drawer

Pistol swords are the final unlock, Altair's swords are either a uPlay thing or a preorder bonus. As such, they're mediocre stat-wise and look pretty goddamn stupid.
Hell, you can get Altair (and Ezio) themed sails and ship decorations in that game.
edit: The swords are 3/4/3 or something. Essentially useless since it's easy to get better ones the first time you're in a town.

anilEhilated fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Jun 17, 2014

bman in 2288
Apr 21, 2010


Well, yeah, but those are just to look pretty. The sails do nothing stat-wise.

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Also, this is going to be the last update I'll be doing in the United States. I'll be doing a video with Small Pile of Slush and Vicas later tonight, then a few hours later I'll be on the road to Kansas City en route to a flight to Taipei (with stops in Houston and San Francisco). I'll be in transit for nearly an entire day, and that's not including the drive from Taipei to where I'll be living. I'll be utterly wiped for at least a couple days, so expect the next update by the end of the week or so.

Vicas
Dec 9, 2009

Sweet tricks, mom.


Sylphid posted:

Also, this is going to be the last update I'll be doing in the United States. I'll be doing a video with Small Pile of Slush and Vicas later tonight, then a few hours later I'll be on the road to Kansas City en route to a flight to Taipei (with stops in Houston and San Francisco). I'll be in transit for nearly an entire day, and that's not including the drive from Taipei to where I'll be living. I'll be utterly wiped for at least a couple days, so expect the next update by the end of the week or so.

That slush has since melted, alas

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.



Clapping Larry

So you can unlock better weapons for base defense... by winning at base defense?

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part XIII: Escape from Constantinople


Click picture or link for video
No commentary over cutscenes


A very exciting video where we collect the last 7 Memoir Pages (I mentioned in the video where we got the previous three), explore the Hagia Sofia, do one more Den Defense and Master Assassin mission, and finally wrapping up Sequence 6 with a very action-packed mission. Joining me this time is Vicas and very special guest star John Brooks, whose brilliant soccer playing skills allowed the US to defeat Ghana in the World Cup. As for how I secured such a star, you'll just have to watch the video.

The edited version has no commentary over the Hagia Sofia mission, because there's some nice music playing over it that you can't really appreciate with us talking over it.

cokerpilot
Apr 23, 2010

Battle Brothers! Stop coming to meetings drunk and trying to adopt Tevery Best!

Lord General! Stop standing on the table and making up stupid operation names!

Emperor, why do I put up with these people?


I really like the way the voice actor delivered that part at the end especially the "For making sense." part.

Sylphid
Aug 3, 2012


Part XIV: Desmond's Journey


Click picture or link for video


As we leave Ezio for a bit to allow him to head to Cappadocia, instead we'll be spending some time with ol' Desmond Miles, as we do some first-person platforming as he tells us his life story, from growing up at The Farm in the Black Hills of South Dakota, to running away and ending up in New York City, to finally, Abstergo tracking him down and abducting him, bringing him to their Animus facility in Italy, where the first game began. This video covers all five parts of the Desmond's Journey sidequest-thing.

Joining me for this unusual video is our good friend Vicas and Luis Suarez's Mouth. Fun fact: Vicas and Louis were going on about death trap water parks, when just as the call was about to end, Louis pointed out the forums went back up. And we were making jokes about the downtime even during the video.

Sylphid fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Jun 28, 2014

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.




Better you than me. Then one really good thing about this game - you aren't forced to spend more than a few moments in Desmond's dull dreary cardboard-like person.

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Major_JF
Oct 17, 2008


Sylphid posted:

Part XIV: Desmond's Journey
Click picture or link for video
Joining me for this unusual video is our good friend Vicas and Louis Suarez's Mouth. Fun fact: Vicas and Louis were going on about death trap water parks, when just as the call was about to end, Louis pointed out the forums went back up. And we were making jokes about the downtime even during the video.

Not complaining but, the video you have posted doesn't have any of those commentary things.

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