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Steve Yun posted:I was worried that it was going to be riding on the TDS coattails too hard, and to be honest he does repeat a few too many jokes that I've already heard on TDS, but I think he's quickly making his own mark on comedy news. It's basically The Daily Show Weekend Edition - with unbleeped bad language.
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Jun 17, 2014 07:32
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comes along bort posted:We're still flying B-52s carrying nukes too. In their case though it's more because they're really cheap to maintain. The Air Force's nuclear mission is becoming outmoded and obsolete with each passing year. The Minuteman IV has been permanently shelved in lieu of just continuing to maintain/upgrade the existing Minuteman IIIs, and without the AGM-129, the only nuclear cruise missiles the Air Force [legally] has left at its disposal are the 80s-era AGM-86s, a good deal of which were converted to *conventional* versions in the 90s because the Navy was getting too much funding for their Tomahawks, and if there's anything that'll spur the Air Force to action, it's the Navy getting more funding than them for wanton destruction. The only thing else they've got a monopoly on is nuclear gravity bombs (as technically carriers aren't carrying them along anymore - just keeping them within supply range at all times), and in this day and age, not even the B-2 will likely be able to get through the air defense screen of China and/or Russia, which means they're an asset that can only be utilized quite some time *after* the initial ICBM/SLBM exchange. The Russians and Chinese have learned that stationary missiles sitting in silos is dumb. That's why the bulk of their strategic funding is going into mobile ICBMs and ballistic missile subs. China *still* hasn't bothered with strategic bombers (they still fly copies of the 50s-era Tu-16), and the Russians are basically paying their bomber force lip service. But we have to keep ~The Triad~ going because lobbyists and there are still enough assholes in Congress that remember the glory of the McNamara era of grandiose defense spending (and the easy votes that came along with it). IRQ posted:It would have fit with their nukes piece though, considering I think Israel is probably the most likely state actor to use theirs other than Pakistan losing one. India/Pakistan is still the most likely. If/when Pakistan's 'secular' government falls, the Indians will have ~30-60 minutes in which to decide whether or not to launch a preemptive strike on strategic assets in Pakistan that they *know* about, before the fundamentalists start looking for the codes and/or breaking locks on the bunkers. This leaves the deployed/hidden assets (most of Pakistan's nukes are road-mobile) free to act on what's called 'fail-deadly' orders, meaning that in the event of certain criteria being met (no contact with their command authority, witnessing detonations in the distance, etc.), they've orders to fire on their designated targets (probably cities as none of their missiles have very decent accuracy). Obviously it's never been confirmed that Pakistan operates under such orders, but given the proximity of both countries to each other, it's a logical conclusion seeing as the flight time for an SRBM or MRBM even fired from the tip of the Indian peninsula to Islamabad would have a flight time of ~10 minutes maximum. Fun Fact: we offered fail-safe technology to Pakistan shortly after they exploded their first bomb, in hopes of giving them a way to secure their warheads against potential hostiles. They turned us down because they were afraid we'd engineer a backdoor into whatever we gave them. And let's face it, we would have. The next nuclear exchange will happen while most of us are sleeping. We'll wake up and find out ~2-300 million people will have died, just to start. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 11:41 on Jul 29, 2014 |
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Jul 29, 2014 08:07
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fatherboxx posted:Bad news guys: geckos have landed, but they are all dead Is glorious victory for the Rodina nonetheless, as amount of refuse in orbit that is Russian is reduced!
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Sep 2, 2014 03:13
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IRQ posted:Miami-Dade County is where all the Cuban expats that fled Castro are. Until they die off the embargo will never be lifted by democrats because it's believed that they would all turn republican in retaliation and Florida is close enough as is. As the clip showed, Obama mentioned lifting the embargo in 2004 and *still* won Florida in 2008. It's not the ex-pats who are striving to keep the embargo going, it's Florida's tourism industry (and Nevada's, since Vegas has nothing on what Cuba used to be) that stands to suffer immensely if Cuba opens back up. The ex-pats are dying off and their children and children's children give less and less of a gently caress with each passing generation. Anyone or anywhere who profits on vice in this country has it in their best interests to keep Cuba closed. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 08:22 on Sep 23, 2014 |
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Sep 23, 2014 08:11
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Xoidanor posted:
I still remember one of the most ludicrous things I've ever heard was back in high school. I was taking the freshman journalism class in preparation to start writing the next year for the school paper, and there was this girl who smoked like a chimney who was bitching about another girl who "only smoked one cigarette a day to 'look cool'" and even then, "she lets most of it just burn down."
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Feb 16, 2015 21:12
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That has always been their key demographic. Good luck finding someone who didn't get hooked young.
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geeves posted:No, because Philip Morris is secretly investing with the drug lords, which is much more profitable. The real revelation would be if the reason the legal grow ops in the states with legalization were unable to use the banking system not just because of the laws prohibiting it, but because it would expose whether or not Big Tobacco is betting long on the day when you'll be able to buy a pack of Marlboro 420s at 7-11.
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Feb 22, 2015 19:17
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Echo Chamber posted:I know opinion on the idea of statehood is still divided in Puerto Rico, but is it just as unpopular in Guam, AS, NMI, and USVI? Puerto Rico definitely deserves statehood for population alone - they have over twice of Hawaii's population. DC, though...the simpler solution would be to simply give them a representative that can vote. Not sure how you'd handle the senator situation, but the District has more people living it in than Wyoming, which gets two senators... It's all academic, because as the report stated, these people are ~minorities~, though with the rate DC's being 'whitewashed' by hipsters and nouveau yuppies, who knows. Also, it'd mean all the talking heads on election night would have to stay up to ungodly hours to wait for the Guamanian polls to close. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 14:31 on Mar 9, 2015 |
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Mar 9, 2015 14:29
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Apoplexy posted:So, uh, was there a new episode tonight? Yes, it was preempted by 15 minutes because of the 'Girls' season finale.
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Mar 23, 2015 05:51
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Veskit posted:It depends on the county. Where I live now they never go to court but in other places they're there 100% of the time. It depends on the county *and* the type of cop. If it's a State Trooper, his rear end *will* be at the courthouse, probably with a stack of citations so thick it'd make a 1995 Tokyo phone book jealous. It still does pay to show up - when Trooper Cocks, sorry, *Cox* of the Virginia State Police (otherwise known as the VAStaPo) snagged me on I-295 outside Richmond for what he claimed was 77 in a 65 (my speedometer was on 71 and was routinely 2-3mph 'fast'), he had that phone book-sized wad of tickets and since it was my first citation, the judge knocked it down to 'Speeding: 0-9.' I still think it's amusing that a cop could give you a speeding ticket for going precisely the limit. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 06:09 on Apr 4, 2015 |
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Apr 4, 2015 04:38
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Gyges posted:War? Those sons of bitches hate us for our dick picks and want to take them from us. No, more like they hate us because our phones are better and the cameras have higher resolution.
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Apr 6, 2015 17:33
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Gyges posted:Maybe if they took their protest to the voting booth we might have some change. You don't change the military industrial complex through protests and media attention. You do it by all going out and voting in primaries and then voting in the general. Every election, no matter if it's for the President or not. If the M-I complex (which honestly should be called the Military-Industrial-Information complex now) and billionaires suddenly couldn't buy/steal elections and horrifically gerrymander districts, they'd stage a coup. Or if you're into JFK theories, *another* coup. People aren't doing anything because they sense the end coming. They didn't fix *anything* after the 2008 financial crisis, they just taped a balloon to an arterial bleed and have been hoping it won't burst again while they're in charge/during their lifetimes. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Apr 7, 2015 |
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Apr 7, 2015 06:44
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Narcissus1916 posted:Living in a VERY red part of California (the land o Nixon and Reagan) that's a little too close to conversations I have on a daily basis. The greatest accomplishment of modern American politics is the success on behalf of both parties to get the American populace to argue about which side's dick feels better in their asses as they're being systematically hosed out of their futures. *AND* convincing them that they only have a choice between two dicks. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 09:22 on Apr 7, 2015 |
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Apr 7, 2015 09:20
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JT Jag posted:Also, at least the Democrats don't really care when they're assraping your life. I'd like to think Elizabeth Warren cares - too bad she's likely going to have one term in office. The banks and billionaires can't 'afford' to have her stick around, lest people start listening to her, and will likely pump ungodly sums into her challenger's coffers in 2018, provided she even decides to run again.
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Apr 7, 2015 11:29
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Just make your password russianembassy.org. No NSA tech would dare type that on a monitored workstation.
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Apr 9, 2015 23:42
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Narcissus1916 posted:So I broke down and paid for HBO Now, but how long will it take episodes of Last week tonight to pop up on the service? I know GoT is close to simultaneous, but will I have to wait til Monday morning to watch it? They're generally pretty quick to post, but the issue then isn't so much the timing...but the zerg rush of *everyone* accessing the same streams at the same time. I've a feeling the first GoT episode, combined with Silicon Valley, Veep, and LWT all being new and dropping *all in a row* is going to make everyone who bought into HBO Now scream bloody loving murder come Monday. Here's hoping HBO *really* upped their bandwidth in preparation.
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Apr 11, 2015 09:30
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Raxivace posted:Is there any particular reason that the episodes aren't closer to an hour in length? From what I've heard, LWT does *not* have a big staff. Keep in mind TDS has a huge loving staff in comparison and they do a half-hour with commercial breaks and a guest that can take up half their time talking about themselves or what they've come to sell. We're lucky it's not fifteen minutes. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 07:39 on Apr 13, 2015 |
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Apr 13, 2015 07:33
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The Cheshire Cat posted:I would imagine that these two statements are probably related. The kinds of people who actually SHOULD be concerned about what the IRS might find are the ones that have invested quite a lot in creating the perception of the "evil tax man going after the little guy". They like the evil tax man going after the little guy. It means less manpower can be levied against their donors' coffers.
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Apr 15, 2015 02:37
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The most patient man in the world is the person or people who *screen* those calls.
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Apr 21, 2015 22:48
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Xoidanor posted:Politicians would probably give a poo poo if they're campaigns weren't financed by the very companies they're supposed to regulate. If you want to have Senators Not on the take, Then give them free air time, They won't have to fake!
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May 18, 2015 09:56
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Relentlessboredomm posted:It's very easy for a dog to contract rabies in the US thanks to possums, raccoons, and other wildlife. Hopefully they've had their shots and everything but that's the entire reason the Australian gov't checks. Which would have been wholly justified if Depp kept matching Dobermans or something. These are teacup dogs that probably have never been exposed to sunlight other than that being filtered through a polarized window pane. A law's a law, though, and he was perfectly within his right to demand the dogs be submitted for quarantine or sent back to the US, but there are assholes on both sides of this: 1) Depp for thinking he could skirt the law so long as he kept his dogs indoors presumably because 'he is who he is,' and 2) the Minister for dickishly exerting his authority over an American movie star. I still remember people bitching and moaning about their pets being forcibly quarantined living on a foreign US military base both when they arrived and when they moved back. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 11:40 on May 18, 2015 |
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May 18, 2015 11:38
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He's been renewed until 2017. Meanwhile, I'm sure HBO is wondering why they still need Bill Maher, save for VICE being a good show.
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Jun 8, 2015 10:08
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Josh Lyman posted:I thought Maher was a libertarian. There's a right wing and a left wing...libertarianism is like the lymphatic system. It can be anywhere on the body politic - usually the part that's getting the most attention.
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Jun 9, 2015 01:07
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bobkatt013 posted:Oh gently caress gamergate Oh, what a moral quandary for the Aspies: "GoT gives us glorious and gratuitous female murders and rapes to disgustingly enjoy in our own preferred and perverted ways, but they defended Anita Sarkeesian. MAN THE DDOS BATTERIES, MY BROTHERS - FOR NO ONE WILL ENJOY HBO GO THIS MONTH! Let's see your interim shows succeed *now*, muhahahaha!" *coughs and grabs their inhalers* BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 04:45 on Jun 22, 2015 |
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Jun 22, 2015 04:42
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Cotato posted:Haha what the gently caress is this? The fact that anyone who has ever 'defended' or shown even the slightest bit of support or sympathy for Sarkeesian or any other GG-harassed woman has had their companies/workplaces angrily written to, threatened, or DDoSed as to lose them money, because god forbid anyone anger ~the rulers of the internet~. The fact that these same people are usually the type who enjoy the worst parts of the GoT books/show is *merely* a coincidence. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 05:01 on Jun 22, 2015 |
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Jun 22, 2015 04:58
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Dead Precedents posted:And anyone who uses the bit "red pill" is a POS 100% of the time. Why'd you prompt me to look up this subreddit, you evil, evil person.
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Jun 22, 2015 06:15
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Dead Precedents posted:I was going to ask if you were serious about that existing, but of course there's a loving subreddit for it. How awful is it? I've never looked there. I'd say it's about 70/30 troll/lie, but they're all awful posts. It *is* Reddit, of course.
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Jun 22, 2015 06:18
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hemophilia posted:The internet's wild west aspect is what makes it great. People need thicker skin and accept that putting yourself out there to peddle your ideology can cause a negative reaction. Nobody is entitled to a positive experience on the internet. People are going to be rude and lovely and instead of calling the news to act indignant for a camera, try calling the loving police when creeps take it too far. Or you know maybe don't act as an agitator for your holy cause if you can't take what you dish out. Whatever it is, don't try to change the internet for these people's sake "If women can't take getting death and rape threats from pasty-faced basement dwellers who will [probably] never act on them, then they should just let the bleating and screaming 'red pill alphas' control the narrative."  hemophilia posted:"try calling the loving police when creeps take it too far" Yeah, you didn't watch the whole segment.
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Jun 23, 2015 01:01
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Soylentbits posted:Is this secretly an Onion joke? This sounds too stupid to not be a parody.  ...pretty much sums it up.
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Jun 23, 2015 07:07
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Motto posted:While Brown was a killer, I've read some accounts that dispute his insanity. Most of the Abolitionist groups believed God wanted them to end slavery...and good handful more were anti-slavery simply because they were so personally racist that they felt the best course of action was freeing them just to send them right back to Africa before some liberally-minded government in the near or far future could make miscegenation legal. You've got to hand it to us - our racism's so wonderfully complex that we even flirted with expatriaxenoracism. Hell, we still do if they're Salvadorean! It doesn't change the fact that since the 60s, the only real progress we've made as a nation is a bunch of fathers sitting in their trademark Archie Bunker armchairs saying "I hope she never brings a black guy home" instead of "I'll disown her if she ever brings a black guy home."  for the most minor of progress.
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Jun 25, 2015 07:39
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Astro Nut posted:Though, from what I've been able to piece together, apparently some history courses for schools in the USA just sorta... skip events after the end of the civil war. I apologise, being an outside observer looking in and all, but it seems like a weird omission given the relative cultural significance, compared to say, learning about the Tudors. Learning more about the Reconstruction period is reserved for 300-level courses in undergrad, and you maybe spend two days and 100 pages of text on it in the HIST 10x course they make everyone take so colleges can claim they're producing 'well-rounded academics.' Now...when you talk about *regional* history education in places like Texas or the solid red Bible Belt states...they spend quite a bit of time talking from one perspective about the War of Northern Aggression. As you can see, Texas spending extra time in its curriculum making students learn massive amounts of state history is working wonders: http://www.star-telegram.com/news/politics-government/state-politics/article13262738.html BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 08:08 on Jun 25, 2015 |
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Jun 25, 2015 08:03
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Duzzy Funlop posted:I guess that also somehow works for Larry Wilmore in a way. ~That State is Cray-ayyy!~
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Jul 6, 2015 16:04
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I kind of expected the joke following the Great Wall story would be "of course he knew about the Bucks, he probably personally stitched 10,000 of those loving shirts and your weak mascot now haunts his dreams every night. That man truly 'fears the deer.'"
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Jul 13, 2015 07:30
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Soylentbits posted:The news is comedy that thinks it's news. The news is a pill commercial that thinks it's news.
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Jul 21, 2015 18:54
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Let's not forget that through the power of Astrology, he and Nancy bent the stars and the Zodiac to their will to astrally force Gorbachev to dissolve the USSR. "The Moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter's aligned with Mars...let's go to Reykjavik, Mommy." BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Jul 27, 2015 |
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Jul 27, 2015 19:13
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In my middle school, our PE teacher was a Vietnam Vet badass and took abso-loving-lutely no horseshit from anyone. When it came time for us to ask anonymous index card questions, he answered every single one, including the one where some guy (we had segregated sex-ed) decided to ask what "necrophilia" was. I will remember this until I die, he said: "It's when someone enjoys having sex with dead bodies. If you little assholes think you're going to shock me, guess again." The next-most 'shocking' question was someone asking if anal sex make it harder to hold poo poo in. He answered that one too, going into great detail about it just to purposely make us uncomfortable. This was...probably 1994-95, and if someone had ratted him out he'd have gotten into a *lot* of trouble. BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Aug 10, 2015 |
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Aug 10, 2015 19:48
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lifts cats over head posted:That's also one of the things people take for granted with that population. A simple "just go to the bathroom" doesn't always make sense... It's also how you breed an entire race of George Michaels. 
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Aug 13, 2015 20:06
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"The election is neck and neck*!" * according to a few cherry-picked polls, please don't ever find fivethirtyeight.com.
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Sep 26, 2016 11:43
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socialsecurity posted:You've made this exact same post after every single episode for like years now, just stop watching. No, because you see, ten seasons from now, when Oliver decides to pull a Jon, he'll be able to say that he saw his 'running out of material/steam' ten years in advance and thus is some sort of psychic.
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Sep 27, 2016 11:04
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Rated PG-34 posted:I'm betting that the Wells Fargo CEO is being offered up as the sacrificial goat for the Hillary campaign while the rest of the bankers who robbed the country enjoy impunity. Furthermore, the Wells Fargo CEO will suffer only light punishment. He won't be able to visit the Bohemian Grove for a month. The horror, the horror...
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Oct 5, 2016 12:17
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Pararoid posted:I kind of feel like John is glossing over the fact that if Stein was actually elected, she would have a clear mandate to write off student debt, regardless of whether the exact mechanism to do it exists currently or not. It still doesn't change the fact that it's a "I promise I'll get the school to put Coke machines in the cafeteria"-level claim. Growing up, that was the big bullshit claim any student body president candidate would make to get elected, and they'd get it shot down for the same reason this initiative wouldn't work - because more often than not, the school cafeterias aren't administered, overseen, or run by the school district, they're run by private concerns (and the Fed *is* private). It was her "hook" idea to try and get up to that magical 15% needed to merit a podium in a national debate. It didn't work, but there's no reason why she still can't keep saying she's going to put "Coke machines in the cafeteria" because she stands zero loving chance of winning and her saying it allows her to write a book after November 8th about how if she'd been elected we'd all be living in a Utopia now. The funny thing is that even though he's eighty-loving-two years old, if he hadn't blown his wad in 2000, Ralph Nader could have conceivably gotten a podium percentage this year. Instead we get Johnson and Stein. And I'm sorry, I know everyone says *Johnson* is the stoner, but Weld looked baked out of his loving mind in every scene next to Johnson.
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Oct 17, 2016 10:24
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