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quantumfoam
Dec 25, 2003



Grem posted:

Yea she's still out there somewhere, probably well on the way to the east coast, she called like an hour after she left the house so she was probably already out of state.

Balls are bashed pretty good, but he'll live, apparently. Was rushed in to emergency surgery and is going to need lots more surgeries.

Softball bats are metal, and probably some other differences.

His balls are toast, I'd be surprised

Someone probably masturbated to this post.

no friendly fire for my police officer friends.

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Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.


Citycop posted:

I bet if she stays more than two states away she can get away with it.

Token "not if the prosecutor really busts his balls getting that extradition processed" response

deratomicdog
Nov 2, 2005

Fight to Fly. Fly to Fight. Fight to Win.

They got rid of my crown vic They told me they are going to use it for PIT training.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


Huge crack in the windshield of my tahoe, I bring it to our motor pool hoping to hear "not worth it to replace cause your vehicle is being replaced on the next order "

Did not go as I'd hoped

genderstomper58
Jan 9, 2005

by XyloJW


beanieson posted:

Huge crack in the windshield of my tahoe, I bring it to our motor pool hoping to hear "not worth it to replace cause your vehicle is being replaced on the next order "

Did not go as I'd hoped

are you getting the mrap

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Beanieacres getting some quality protection.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


genderstomper58 posted:

are you getting the mrap

Will it have air conditioning? This is important. Our guvment hummers don't have air conditioning.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

as someone with extensive experience with mraps, every single one i've been in has had AC.

doesn't mean it will work though.

genderstomper58
Jan 9, 2005

by XyloJW


beanieson posted:

Will it have air conditioning? This is important. Our guvment hummers don't have air conditioning.

i was a sailor idk

Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.


beanieson posted:

Will it have air conditioning? This is important. Our guvment hummers don't have air conditioning.

Tell us more about how generally unsatisfied you are with guvment hummers

Since those hummers tend to come from the Army do you have any advice to Army guys on how they can make sure their hummers please policemen more

Branis
Apr 14, 2006

they all wear pants that are too tight and they all secretly wanna bang wearing their campaign hats. use this to your advantage

genderstomper58 posted:

i was a sailor idk

theres some sort of joke here to be made about government hummers and sailors, but i'm not smart enough to think of one.

Snowdens Secret posted:

Tell us more about how generally unsatisfied you are with guvment hummers

Since those hummers tend to come from the Army do you have any advice to Army guys on how they can make sure their hummers please policemen more

As a soldier, can you tell us police what the best way to commit atrocities and get away with it is? I feel like we are rank amateurs in the murderbrowns business compared to the US Army.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


Snowdens Secret posted:

Tell us more about how generally unsatisfied you are with guvment hummers

Since those hummers tend to come from the Army do you have any advice to Army guys on how they can make sure their hummers please policemen more

It's like 90 degrees at night here and 150% humidity

AC rules everything around me

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009


Branis posted:

As a soldier,

snowden is a jew not a soldier hth

Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.


The only things I murdered were chicken wheels

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Branis posted:

theres some sort of joke here to be made about government hummers and sailors, but i'm not smart enough to think of one.


As a soldier, can you tell us police what the best way to commit atrocities and get away with it is? I feel like we are rank amateurs in the murderbrowns business compared to the US Army.

Be government run instead of state.

genderstomper58
Jan 9, 2005

by XyloJW


Cole posted:

Be government run instead of state.

Whip Slagcheek
Sep 21, 2008

Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night




Snowdens Secret posted:

Tell us more about how generally unsatisfied you are with guvment hummers

I wish the guvment gave me a hummer, they just bend me over and gently caress me in the rear end n4i style.

Untagged
Mar 29, 2004

Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?


I don't know about anybody else but that was pretty much the longest Saturday night of the year so far. So many calls... so many.

Hezzy
Dec 4, 2004



Pillbug

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=or917z9jXB0

Guy: WHAT THE gently caress I GOT THAT ON loving CAMERA!!! I GOT THAT...
*cop gets out of car*
Guy: ... on camera

gbs.avi

Hezzy fucked around with this message at 16:22 on May 25, 2014

krispykremessuck
Jul 22, 2005

unlike most veterans and SA members $10 is not a meaningful expenditure for me

I'm gonna have me a swag Bar-B-Q

Branis posted:

As a soldier, can you tell us police what the best way to commit atrocities and get away with it is? I feel like we are rank amateurs in the murderbrowns business compared to the US Army.

idk lapd does a pretty good job

dorner

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Whip Slagcheek posted:

I wish the guvment gave me a hummer, they just bend me over and gently caress me in the rear end n4i style.

I have a feeling N4I would do you missionary so he could stare into your eyes while he dumps a load in you.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


NIGGER DEATH TURBO
Jul 4, 2013

by Lowtax


Untagged
Mar 29, 2004

Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?


Happy 17 Thousand Posts on your Facebook Wall reminding you not to barbeque or you might offend a soldier or something Day.

My military family says its ok to overcook burgers on this holiday just FYI.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Untagged posted:

Happy 17 Thousand Posts on your Facebook Wall reminding you not to barbeque or you might offend a soldier or something Day.

My military family says its ok to overcook burgers on this holiday just FYI.

At least half of the people who have died in the last decade overseas have been alcoholics who would be drinking their face off today anyway.

Branis
Apr 14, 2006

they all wear pants that are too tight and they all secretly wanna bang wearing their campaign hats. use this to your advantage

If the local national guard unit is indicative of the quality and morality of american soldiers, i'm gonna have to say no thanks. I doubt any of these rapist retard alcoholics can spell freedom.

Whip Slagcheek
Sep 21, 2008

Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night




Branis posted:

If the local national guard unit is indicative of the quality and morality of american soldiers, i'm gonna have to say no thanks. I doubt any of these rapist retard alcoholics can spell freedom.

DrakeriderCa
Feb 3, 2005

But I'm a real cowboy!


After serving a tour overseas with American soldiers, sailors and airmen, I have been qualified as an expert witness on the fact that your military is basically Southern Justice in Multicam and slightly heavier trucks

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


well poo poo, just wait till I get that MRAP

Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.


Branis posted:

If the local national guard unit is indicative of the quality and morality of american soldiers, i'm gonna have to say no thanks. I doubt any of these rapist retard alcoholics can spell freedom.

June 2014 Civ Thread: I doubt any of these rapist retard alcoholics can spell freedom

Whip make this happen

Kase Im Licht
Jan 26, 2001


Crossposting with the Fed jobs thread since maybe there's some people reading the cop thread that might be interested in related work:

Anyone want to be a probation officer in DC? How about a social worker? Probably closer to the second than the first. We're hiring a new class of 20. Application closes 6/10/2014. I would say it's not that competitive, but they're hiring at GL-9 this year instead of 7 so it might be a little tougher than in years past. Still, I think anytime an agency is hiring a bunch of people you have way better odds than if they're just hiring one or two. Most people last time around just had 4 year degrees but there were a good amount of graduate degrees too. A few people got hired right out of college with no experience, but again, that was when they were hiring at GL-7.

https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/370850200

https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/370956400 (bilingual announcement - Spanish)

Job: You're essentially a probation/parole officer, but about 80% of your job will feel closer to social work. If you look at the job announcement, it kind of looks like they're trying to push that to 90%. Not a bad job. Help people who need help, punish people who need punishment. No weapons, you don't make arrests. You will end up in the projects by yourself, so make sure you're comfortable with that. You should be good at communicating and getting people to like you, have patience, be a good writer (there are plenty of terrible writers, but please don't add to this issue).

It's not a bad place to work, but keep in mind this is a highly dysfunctional agency and you will get weekly reminders of that. Your supervisor kind of makes the job. With a good one it can be fun, with a bad one...gently caress. Your office will either be in downtown DC or in a field office in the hood. Upside of the hood is there's usually free parking, but you might not be able to metro.

Law enforcement pay/retirement. Cannot be older than 37 years old.

Going by the last announcement, expect the timeline to be something like this: Written test late June/early July, interview July/August, acceptance letter August/September, start in late October.

GunForumMeme
Apr 22, 2010


Hey Brit Cops. I found a bunch of tins of loose leaf tea from the East India Company in my cupboard.

What's the proper way to go about making a cup of tea with them?

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009


GunForumMeme posted:

Hey Brit Cops. I found a bunch of tins of loose leaf tea from the East India Company in my cupboard.

What's the proper way to go about making a cup of tea with them?

after a brisk morning of subjugating brown people of course

Branis
Apr 14, 2006

they all wear pants that are too tight and they all secretly wanna bang wearing their campaign hats. use this to your advantage

Pack the leaves in your mouth like dip then drink hot water.

Untagged
Mar 29, 2004

Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?


Branis posted:

Pack the leaves in your mouth like dip then drink hot water.

Uggggggh.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009


Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

after a brisk morning of subjugating brown people of course

Particularly suitable as they would have been produced and picked by subjugated browns.

Also you yankee simpletons don't deserve the pleasures of loose leaf tea after that atrocity in Boston.

If you absolutely insist on consuming a cup of chai, then I would advise finding the nearest female colleague, demand that she put the kettle on in a demeaning way ("Oi, Tracy, pull your knickers up and put the kettle on, I'm gasping. Cheers, treacle slit.") and then criticize both her tea-making skills and professional integrity ("Bloody hell, looks like you drive a kettle about as well as you drive a loving squad car you dopey bint. Tastes like you took a slash in the cup")

This scenario is repeated on a daily basis in just about every police station in the land.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


oval office.

TCD
Nov 13, 2002

Every step, a fucking adventure.


Bernard McFacknutah posted:

treacle slit

took a slash in the cup

Unfamiliar with those.

Also best tea I've had has been loose leaf in San Francisco. Tea in London has been - dissapointing.

But your cask ales are alright.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009


Depends where you have tea, if by London you mean some tourist trap where they gave you some stale poo poo mixed with unfiltered hard water then it's going to be disappointing. You should go have tea somewhere like the Dorchester (if they let Americans in these days, if not you might have to pretend to be a bit more socially acceptable, maybe a Canadian or Somali) or a Parish teahouse in the suburbs.

Treacle slit is a term of endearment for a woman, like fanny blossom or fancy flaps.

Slash means to pass water.

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NIGGER DEATH TURBO
Jul 4, 2013

by Lowtax


tea sucks

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