Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare - i just don't care anymore

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare - i just don't care anymore

will I later regret not putting effort into this poll?
	Yes
	No

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

A&W AT A GLANCE:

MP impressions* range from "lovely" to "lovely but too drunk to care"

SP impressions are generally positive

Major connectivity issues on all platforms

Other major issues on PC that I didn't read or care about

Terrible spawns in MP

If you're on the fence you should wait until December for the release bug shitshow to die down

*from people who play more than 4 hours of each COD game in its lifetime

HERE IS THE BRAND NEW PC THREAD: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3679602

PS3/4 clan information:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3581206&perpage=40

XBone clan information:
Who cares, post your GT (BOYS is full)

EVEN NEWER FABULOUS OCTOBER UPDATE

It's ~~springtime~~ ~~summer~~ fall, and that means the ~~flowers~~ trees are in bloom, ~~chirping birds~~ life itself makes it impossible to sleep off hangovers, women are wearing ~~less clothing~~ yoga pants and making us all the more sexually frustrated, and, luckily, there's a new Call of Duty being ~~announced~~ released and rampant ~~speculation~~ incessant shrieking from preteen shitheads and retarded YouTubers who badly need to wrench their contorted fingers from their putrid anuses just long enough to string their failed community college exams and academic probation letters into a noose and hang themselves with it flooding in from all corners of the World Wide Web regarding what it ~~will be~~ is like (the same), what ~~will be~~ is new (nothing), what the plot is (lol), how it'll run on PC (haha), and whether it's worth dropping $60 on (does it matter?). From the same brilliant minds that brought us Captain Price nuking the US and "Press X to bark," comes Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare.

The seventieth installation of the blockbuster hit "Call of the Duty," this Fall's iteration of this smash hit series of re-skins is bound to be highly advanced, albeit remarkably similar to the previous 19 COD games we all hated and argued about and played continuously for hundreds of hours in between posting on Something Awful about how little we played. There will likely be a highly serious clan system that we'll all mock and berate and then unironically take very seriously, stat tracking that isn't as good as Blops I, somebody getting probated for calling people out in the thread like a child, and me baiting people into posting their speed tests. So buckle the gently caress up, because it's ~~(getting to be)~~ officially time for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFu5qXMuaJU

Liquid Stuart's patent-pending 3-question approach to COD Threads
I. Should I buy this game?
A. No

II. What is new in Call of Duty: Modern Advanced Black Warfare Ops 5
A. This installment of Call of Duty brings all new improvements to the smash hit formula, affecting virtually all facets of gameplay and ultimately transforming your entertainment center into a sentient being that will lead you on a journey through the near-ancient distant future, as Captain Price's great great grandfather's ghost's Golden Retriever (voiced by Gilbert Godfrey) pieces together a sinister plot by Kevin Spacey to overthrow Scranton, PA with an army of Roomba vacuum cleaning robots and seemingly innocuous but nonetheless suspicious bags of recyclables. Only one man can help you and finally put down this devious plot, namely Captain Price himself, as nobody else in COD Lore is as fearsome, bearded, or British. Fly through time, rescue princesses, blow poo poo up, enjoy phoned-in voice acting by B-list celebrities that you don't immediately place until months later when you're idly browsing IMDB (did you guys know Idris Elba was in MW3?), then go Oscar Mike, Foxtrot the poo poo out of some Tangos, avenge Ned Stark and put down those loving Lannisters once and for all.

Improvements to this title are as numerous as they are radical, and include:

New Game Modes!
Customizable Classes!
New State-of-the-Art Engine!
All-New Maps!
"Improved Matchmaking!"
A Campaign!
Kevin Spacey!
Exo-suits!
~~(...I guess?)~~ Confirmed

Super awesome and informative factual update based on hard data from the multiplayer reveal that I watched

It's been quite a week, but I'm now finding myself on a four hour bus ride to New York, so I finally have time to give this thread the update it doesn't deserve. In addition to the tragic death of Robin Williams that even I feel is tasteless to joke about (get help, don't kill yourselves you retards), we found out he had a hot daughter all this time that we never knew or gave a poo poo about. Despite her retreat from the internet, no explicit mention was made regarding Xbox Live, so COD OPs remain hopeful that she might yet pay the ultimate honor a woman can pay a group of ~80 sweaty men--namely, join our Call of Duty clan.

And that brings us back once again to the Call of Duty game that we're all so eager to hear about. As was expected, Call of Duty Advanced Warfare turns the series on its head, and MLG pros the world over report that, like its predecessors, this iteration feels like yet another fresh and novel approach to shooters based on the Quake 3 engine. Running at a full 1080p on PS4 and 1024x768 on Xbox One, Call of a Duty AW immerses you in frenzied combat immediately as players engage in freestyle battles and scream racial epithets at each other using crystal clear next gen voice codecs. Back by overwhelming demand, Kinect users will have full video chat integration in lobbies so they may determine which of them even lifts, while Playstation owners can enjoy new high definition chirping noises from over 130 different species of crickets as they wait for responses in the COD thread.

Gameplay changes in COD A&W's multiplayer revolve heavily on jumping, the philosophy of jumping in the future, post-apocalyptic perspectives on jumping, the role of gender in jumping, and drop-shotting. Players will find themselves jumping like absolute gently caress in A&W, with a new pick-13 class system unlike anything ever seen before, especially not in Ghosts or Blops 2, that gives players over 13 ways to jump. Kill streaks all revolve around exo-suits, in which players can jump so motherfucking hard that they will break poo poo in real life. Gaming experts say that, while this game is basically nothing like Titanfall, which is easy because Titanfall is nothing like COD, which doesn't even matter because every COD game is different, the jumping is just as loving badass and basically it's like calling in a Titan only you're the Titan and you're going up, not falling.

While jumping is certainly the focal point in COD: Root Beer, with developers citing a sore lack of shooters in which people jump around like complete shitheads in the current console market as motivation, A&W features drastic changes to the core gameplay, with new ordnance, guns, and killstreaks. Most prominent in the lineup of new tactical gear is the introduction of a new grenade called the Bicuriator. Enemies caught in the effective radius of this wineglass-like ordinance will take only slight damage, but will find themselves rooted to the ground for a full 15 seconds as Kevin Spacey removes a shard of glass from their hand and then kisses them deeply and passionately. Robert Bowling, Executive Grand Comissioner of whatever company is throwing together this piece of poo poo, cited the need to cultivate tolerance within the COD community as his motivation for the Bicuriator's inclusion, although it has been banned preemptively from MLG.

Other improvements to loadouts include a submachine gun that is grossly overpowered and later nerfed six times until it's merely the best weapon in the game, and shotguns no longer fire any projectiles on the server side at all to provide bandwidth for the revamped theater mode--which, in a similar vein, now simply torrents every PBS Frontline and every TED talk in lieu of recording anything, both to provide the authentic p2p feel of 90's gaming, and to promote COD players to actually loving learn something (although executives admit that someone purchasing their 12th COD game has a grim likelihood of learning anything ever).

Additionally, killstreaks have been toned down a bit since Ghosts; Activision executives who purportedly "knew a thing or two about 'fun'" cited the increased role of psychological warfare in a futuristic world gone mad, and adjusted kill streaks accordingly. New streaks include hot air balloons armed with leaflets incorrectly using the terms "rap" and "hip-hop" interchangeably (18 kills), airdropped care packages only openable by the winner of a 4-minute timing-based QTE dancing minigame (25 kills), a UAV (97 kills), or the Bicuriator Barrage (1 kill).

Details of the gripping single player campaign were also revealed at the event, but at this point I would rather power down my phone and huff the fumes of the heinous poo poo somebody just took on this bus than even pretend to care about a COD campaign.

III. If I want to play with the awful people that post in these lovely threads, how might I go about that?
I have no idea just yet, it's going to depend on the clan system. I would guess the majority of people will be on ~~X360~~ EDIT: most people are getting it on Xbone (one more reason not to buy this turd). Go ahead and add me on Xbone since I am an idiot and own that and it has a nigh-infinitely sized friend list: GT: Liquid Stuart

Here's a spot for informative posts about the actual game:
General mechanic tips: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3630852&perpage=40&pagenumber=96#post437419956
What the gently caress do weapon stats mean: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3630852&perpage=40&pagenumber=102#post437486221
Weapon attachment stuff: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3630852&perpage=40&pagenumber=102#post437486221

Stubear St. Pierre fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Nov 10, 2014

# ¿ May 2, 2014 19:19

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 00:40

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

RESERVED!!!

# ¿ May 2, 2014 19:22

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

This is all a very interesting and novel take on Kevin Spacey being in COD that I hadn't thought of. What legal ramifications COULD there be? Could Call of Duty be coming to Netflix? They do seem to be expanding pretty quickly, it seems natural that they'd go into video-games next...

# ¿ May 2, 2014 20:21

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

anybody who buys a next-gen console for another COD reskin made on the Quake 3 engine is going to feel stupid as absolute gently caress

# ¿ May 2, 2014 21:30

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

FAT WORM OF ERROR posted:

Great Op as always, not buying this game tho

I miss you, quit celebrating 5-year anniversaries and play lovely games

# ¿ May 4, 2014 03:19

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Jake Blues posted:

What was the last FPS you recall playing that included a gun that fired lasers? C&C Renegade?₍₂₀₀₂₎ Star Wars Dark Forces?₍₁₉₉₅₎

I can't honestly think of any others that you could fire lasers, and those two examples were produced by companies that released a yearly title in a series. I can think of at least four games now, that I've had this hope and it's unfortunate that neither a Battlefield or Call of Duty team in this day & age can't put this kind of variety into their games. Even Borderlands doesn't have lasers, and they're at least giving the player use of four held weapons.

vv I will of course be tricked into buying this game just like all of the others.

Halo 4_(yesterday)

# ¿ May 10, 2014 19:20

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

# ¿ May 10, 2014 19:21

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

aw shucks

# ¿ May 15, 2014 13:42

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Brink is a buggy piece of poo poo that could only aspire at its best to be a distraction for pica-afflicted autistic children to stop eating their own poo poo for an afternoon while their defeated parents fix the garage door opener so they can shut themselves in and end their lives with the exhaust of their low-emission sedans, purchased as an ironic last-ditch effort to improve the world ever so slightly after giving birth to a drooling piece of genetic garbage that reduced the lives of all around them to miserable exercises in pain tolerance before suicide

I watched it on Twitch and that was more than enough.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2014 19:15

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

looks like plenty of "content" to me IYKWIM

# ¿ Jul 28, 2014 00:49

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

hey guys found this feature list from a very trusted source who may or may not be the brother of my father and who may or may not have gotten a job at Activision after he quit his job at Nintendo:

-game will feature two teams going head to head
-score "streaks" will rely on players acquiring kills without dying to get rewards that aren't as cool as the ones in MW2 (I forgot to even make fun of this in the OP)
-certain weapons will be semi auto, others will mostly be full auto, but it's ok because you can choose which one you use--more info to come on this "customized class" feature as it becomes available
-UAV, care package, lovely helicopter and sentry gun, as well as C4, frag grenades, and some sort of mine device will all return in Advanced Warfare after an extended 0 game absence from the series
-there will be a heavily advertised Levelutionary feature that positively buries Verticality, and it will be featured prominently in 1 maps

# ¿ Aug 11, 2014 17:38

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

I'm getting this on Game Gear

# ¿ Aug 12, 2014 07:07

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

WattsvilleBlues posted:

We should make it happen. Call it Double XP or something.

What's likely to happen with the movement mechanics in future CoDs from the other studios? There's no way they could go back to plain old running around like a loser and not have double jumps etc.

mechs

# ¿ Aug 22, 2014 15:09

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

"Respawn" basically invented COD's feel

# ¿ Oct 23, 2014 01:45

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

I watched it on twitch and that was more than enough

# ¿ Oct 23, 2014 01:49

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

if "Paradise" is where that stinking rancid shitheap called Blops 1 came from they can keep it

# ¿ Oct 23, 2014 01:56

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

stealth perks will always be the least fun and most powerful perks in a COD game unless they bring back stopping power

univbee posted:

So I'd say you guys are the experts, what was the difference that made Ghost so poo poo and its predecessors less poo poo? What did Ghosts change that broke everything?

Ghosts had awful maps that had tons of wasted space and were poorly laid out, slower movement speed, faster TTK, and the worst killstreaks in any COD game to date. C4 was overpowered and needed to be nerfed.

Defiant Sally posted:

Is this game going to be worth purchasing or is it just continuing the downward spiral?

it looks like a high-def PS1 game, it's being made by Sledgehammer who made MW3 which was absolutely godawful, and it's the 11th iteration of a series that's had all of two decent games. A&W's only hope is that it's passable enough that those of us who couldn't handle the unplayable connectivity of Blops 2 and quit Ghosts after a few weeks feel withdrawal strongly enough to play it past February

# ¿ Nov 1, 2014 05:17

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Finster Dexter posted:

Here's why A&W could be different:

So, to sum up, they were brought in to finish MW3 after disgruntled IW left. They were given less than a year to finish the entire game and make it bug-free.

Reasons why A&W will be pretty much like every other CoD:

Because Call of Duty.

The changes between one iteration of COD and the next are less drastic than changes that bored teenagers have made to PC games in shorter timeframes and released for free--or for that matter, changes you could make yourself in 20 minutes to any Steam Workshop-enabled game for free. The success and failure of each iteration basically depends on it being grossly imbalanced enough for it to still be fun despite everyone being bored as gently caress with the only series that rivals EA Sports games in its lack of innovation.

A SWELL DUDE posted:

Another reason Ghosts was terrible: lovely game modes. No CTF, no Hardpoint (which had been a big hit in the previous installment), no Headquarters, and I don't think there was even Demolition. Blitz looked cool on paper, but it played horribly. Every game turned in to teams trading caps as fast as possible with virtually no defense played.

AW is bringing back CTF and HP, so it's already on the right track. Uplink looks like a ton of fun, and I don't think it will flop like Blitz since the ball mechanic draws the action to a central location at all times. And then Momentum should be solid. It's a formula that works great in TF2. If anything, it's like a more dynamic Domination (which needs to die already).

Blitz had a lot of spawncamping potential, but somebody invariably hosed it up

# ¿ Nov 1, 2014 19:06

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Probad posted:

On the PS4, you can flail your controller around to reload.

is that a wiimote

# ¿ Nov 1, 2014 19:06

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

so like 20 pages ago someone asked what people were predicting about Ghosts, so instead of doing the tons of work I have to do, I put the $10 I spent on archives to work and found my predictions...

on Black Ops 2:

a smart and handsome person in 2012 posted:

New info leaked about Blops 2:

buzzword 1: - like verticality and gun-on-gun gameplay just loving went at it for like 20 straight hours and this is the end result. It will improve your K/D, Will Arnett loves it

nonsensical phrase - bring your game to the competition and compete within the game against the competition in the competition. $40 or $35 with pre-order

completely revamped newness - bullet-focused weapons shoot bullets at things. Choose from among 1 type of bullets

budget ammo carefully - shoot bullets at people? shoot them at the air? The Choice Is Yours. Special something exclusive for Elite subscribers!

fresh new game modes -
TEAM MATCHDEATH: FFA game mode where each player is randomly put onto one of two teams of six and shoots the players on the other team
MLG KILLSQUAD: two teams of six go head to head, only half points are awarded for assists
TACTICAL TEAMDEATH: two teams of six go head to head with a tactical twist that everyone needs to either have or not have an attachment on their gun

[b]new killstreak something[/b blah blah blah Elite verticality 11/13/12 or 11/12/13 pre-order your $100 version of the $60 version today and receive the game in a box

and Ghosts:

a similarly smart and handsome person in 2013 posted:

Is there anything that isn't common knowledge about the next COD? It's going to be the same poo poo, it probably won't actually be called Modern Warfare 4, it's probably going to involve some sort of prequel since someone died or something in the MW3 singleplayer, you're going to have a gun and the exact same perks called different poo poo and shuffled around arbitrarily, they're going to continue trying to push COD as something that can be played competitively despite lacking a fundamental understanding of the fact that a game can't support a respected tournament infrastructure with an annual and typically severely problematic release schedule, and I'm going to get drunk and buy it next January.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2014 05:06

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

People are just saying not to buy this on PC because there has never been a COD PC port that wasn't a disappointment whose community died off in under 2 months. Maybe the port is really wonderful, I don't know/who cares

# ¿ Nov 3, 2014 06:17

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

sba posted:

I KNOW, WE ARE SAD WE CANT PLAY YET

is that that gold C-3PO controller from the limited edition star wars 360

# ¿ Nov 3, 2014 06:40

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

If anyone has info on a Steam group or PC clan or whatever please let me know so I can put it in the OP

# ¿ Nov 4, 2014 01:45

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Just a reminder for anyone reading this and debating whether to buy it--everyone likes every COD game for the first week or two, even Ghosts

Raithe posted:

Maybe that extra year of development helped? Or Sledgehammer proving their worth while scaring the poo poo out of Infinity Ward.

I can't remember if BOYS is a PS4 clan or an Xbox one clan. Would be good to get the bone clan in the OP if there is one.

BOYS is XBone, it isn't in the OP yet because most people who join at release quit the game within a week or two

# ¿ Nov 4, 2014 14:47

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Mister Macys posted:

Feels like Ghosts. Not bad, but

sorry what

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 00:50

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

I really want to get excited about this one but I just can't. I need COD Viagra or something

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 03:19

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

I'm basically in the same stand-off with morrissey and poz, tbh I was hoping people would say it was awesome and talk me into it but it honestly sounds bad and I don't have the time atm

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 03:35

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

It sounds like a weaker than average COD game that people really want to like since Ghosts sucked, a lot of us sat out Blops 2 entirely because of the abysmal net code and Titanfall was a $15 arcade game with a $60 price tag

Re: Macy's, in that case I actually thought Ghosts had pretty good connectivity, it was just a lovely game

And re: Belt, you know I like you buddy

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 05:09

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Zero VGS posted:

How the gently caress do these guys get away with refusing to launch the game on a dual-core? I had to download a patched .exe and big surprise my G3258 with GTX 970 does 1080p60 with 4x supersampling. Oh but I'm sure Activision knows better than me what my system can play. Morons.

Edit: Maybe I didn't pay my re Specs

Try forwarding your PCI port to the serial bus and then overclock your CMOS to see if it pops the Linux kernal

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 13:58

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

And re: 40 people who said "lol goons will bitch about anything," a recently released 5-year study found that they're actually about 300x more likely to drop into COD threads and white knight the game/deride goons for bitching and then never ever be heard from again after the end of the month because the game sucks

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 14:04

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Sab669 posted:

What does this even mean? My cool helmet disappeared, and now my 2x EXP is gone (which I knew was timed)

From the makers of "Press X to Bark," now presenting: "Loot Expired" 11/1/110/01/001/101/2014

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 14:51

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Titanfall is $25 with gold now hint hint

# ¿ Nov 6, 2014 04:34

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Lemon Curdistan posted:

I just wanted to say thanks to Stubear for saving me from drunk-buying this terrible game in the hopes that the MP would be good like BlOps 1 and not a terrible shitpile like MW2. Thanks, Stubear.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 01:19

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

dreffen posted:

Why have more people not called you a loving moron for linking this?

we didn't click it

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 01:45

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

for sure dude, you ever on Fb these days

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 02:01

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

PC Thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3679602 :siren:

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 03:34

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

all apologies posted:

Yeah. U still on my friends list?

Yeah I don't really use Fb but I have the apps on my phone

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 04:27

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Goodchild posted:

I got a fancy looking Veteran Campaign helmet for beating it on Vet. I can't remember the exact name and I'm not near my console right now, but it looks pretty slick.

Sounds awesome, when does it expire

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 11:14

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

venutolo posted:

All you can realistically infer from that is that some piece of code loads the DW_MatchMaking_Skill address. I would assume the assumption is that the game uses skill based matchmaking rather than matchmaking based on best network connection.

However, there are a lot of reasons why this isn't necessarily true. This code could be dead code or this bit of code might be executed after some sort of network based matchmaking that limits the set of matches and then the skill based matchmaking chooses from among that set. Also there are a lot of lovely developers out there who will copy/paste stuff and modify functionality without changing the name to something more indicative of functionality.

e: Without looking at a much greater amount of code, I don't think you can definitively infer anything from this.

Are you insinuating that COD developers copy and paste code across iterations? Hang on, need to replace my desk, cracked it in half with the sheer force of the chortle I just emitted

Also what shade of gray is your beard

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 21:30

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 00:40

Stubear St. Pierre: Feb 22, 2006

Static Rook posted:

Play Hardcore. You still die fast but you actually kill people, too! Sometimes your own teammates but whatever man! Also play Domination because capping gets you lots of points and killing people near a controlled flag gets you lots of points, too. It's the only game mode where I actually get to use Scorestreaks.

I can personally attest to Hardcore being a nice way to even out terrible connections, although I've gotten kicked from almost every single HC match I've ever played for accidentally TKing Ty Webb six times

# ¿ Nov 8, 2014 06:15

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