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Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


Baron von Eevl posted:

I think James Franco's role in Alien Covenant was reduced to "a picture that the protagonist looks at once."

He burns up in his space bed and his corpse gets rocketed out. Thatís the best part.

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Elissimpark
May 20, 2010

The best ideas come out of stupidity.

Joey Freshwater posted:

If youíve ever seen Superstore he plays the pharmacist and itís the same thing, just seems like heís having a blast playing the role

Josh Lawson was on Australian 'Thank God You're Here' frequently and took great joy in derailing any scenario he was dumped in.

He was also Doug in 'House of Lies'.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

During the fourth season of Battlestar Galactica you could actually hear them throwing poo poo at the wall to see what would stick.

MadDogMike
Apr 9, 2008

Can I come out and play?

Pope Corky the IX posted:

During the fourth season of Battlestar Galactica you could actually hear them throwing poo poo at the wall to see what would stick.

And here I thought that was just the sound of dropping things into soup!

bobkatt013
Oct 8, 2006

You√ʬĬôre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?


MadDogMike posted:

And here I thought that was just the sound of dropping things into soup!

And people getting air locked to join sex cults

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016


muscles like this! posted:

The opposite thing happened with the movie of World War Z where they cut out the original ending in which his character actually did stuff so in the released movie Matthew Fox is in it for like 2 seconds.

on an unrelated note I just thought of a potentially fun game: seeing how incomprehensible you can make a particular piece of media by completely removing all scenes including known abusers

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


Season 1 House of Cards is now 12 minutes long.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs of siren songs
To oohs to ahhs to big applause
With all of my anger I scream and shout
America, I love you but you're freaking me out


Biscuit Hider

Inzombiac posted:

Season 1 House of Cards is now 12 minutes long.

Is that how many minutes donít have Kevin Spacey?

Tunicate
May 15, 2012





God Hole posted:

on an unrelated note I just thought of a potentially fun game: seeing how incomprehensible you can make a particular piece of media by completely removing all scenes including known abusers

Fat Albert and the

KIDS!

rydiafan
Mar 17, 2009

EEEEEENT
OOOOORT
EEEEEENT
OOOOORT




MadDogMike posted:

And here I thought that was just the sound of dropping things into soup!

I want you to know I appreciate this.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

There are probably some people who would claim it's a "metaphor" and I "just didn't get it", but I think the movie "What Lies Below" just sucks. It's weird, boring, and the ending ends up just being kind of lame even if they did try and go for a untraditional non-convenient-happy-ending ending.

the dude's an alien/monster thing....OK, and? They never do anything with it. He's just some bug alien impregnating the girl's mom with baby bugs and then kills the girl at the end after dropping a shiny blue ball down her throat. Also the part with the menstruation and the guy licking it off his fingers was just weird and unnecessary (especially since it was a teenager still in highschool). There were so many other red flags that the guy was probably an alien, we didn't need that.

It's one of those movies that just leaves you feeling like "that's it?".

yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 20:59 on May 1, 2021

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?



Grimey Drawer

Out of all the live action poo poo they could pull from, the gently caress is Disney thinking with Cruella? Hey remember that crazy bitch who wants to skin puppies? LET'S MAKE HER RELATABLE AND A TRAGIC VILLAIN SOMEHOW.

Alexander Hamilton
Dec 29, 2008


muscles like this! posted:

The opposite thing happened with the movie of World War Z where they cut out the original ending in which his character actually did stuff so in the released movie Matthew Fox is in it for like 2 seconds.

Terry Crews is a corpse at the beginning of Terminator: Salvation for no apparent reason. I kind of assumed heíd be the Terminator at the end or something but nope! Heís just dead.

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007


Cowslips Warren posted:

Out of all the live action poo poo they could pull from, the gently caress is Disney thinking with Cruella?

"People liked Wicked and Maleficent and stanned for Cersei Lannister, we already own this IP and need to make content by the pound to keep people subscribing to Disney+"?

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Alexander Hamilton posted:

Terry Crews is a corpse at the beginning of Terminator: Salvation for no apparent reason. I kind of assumed he’d be the Terminator at the end or something but nope! He’s just dead.

Salvation had a bunch of reshoots too so it was probably something cut.

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




Ultra Carp

Imagined posted:

"People liked Wicked and Maleficent and stanned for Cersei Lannister, we already own this IP and need to make content by the pound to keep people subscribing to Disney+"?

Maleficent was good.

Cruella was also definely in the works for the theater originally

I'm reserving judgement on it's worth, though

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

I want Cruella to be a cinematic shitpost. Everyone expects them to try to make her relatable, but they just make her a total lunatic, like in the Starkid musical Twisted where every other disney villain has a cameo in one song talking about their untold pure motivations and then Cruella comes out with "I only wished to have a coat made out of puppies!" and everyone else just shouts her off the stage with a "WHat the gently caress Cruella? Who does that? Weirdo."

Also I liked Maleficent partially because of it's flaws -the first one was hilarious with how the only reason Maleficent wound up the hero was everyone else being so incompetent she was the only person who could foil her, and I felt that Mistress of Evil was allowed to have more fun because it wasn't saddled with having to tell the story of Sleeping Beauty again - I thought there were some clever and imaginative things in that second movie, like Aurora Faking doing the bedsheet rope cliche to distract some guards so she could escape and Michelle Pfeiffer using the spindle to "kill" her husband while also having a plan that revolved around inviting Maleficent to a thing (the latter thing I just thought was a cute idea). Also the dialog had it's moments, like when the crow boi is talking about having a more impressive animal form and she just retorts with "Why are we talking about bears?" Overall I thought Jolie was a highlight, she was obviously having a lot of fun.

BioEnchanted has a new favorite as of 04:56 on May 2, 2021

Spalec
Apr 16, 2010


I'm vey curious how/if they're going to make Cruella relatable or sympathetic, considering what she's known for is literally used as a shorthand for ridiculously over the top unforgivable evil.

Not 'spend $30' curious, but curious none the less.

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007


I get what you're saying, though. Every other Disney villain you can think of has a motivation you can, if not sympathize with, at least understand. Revenge. Greed. Lust for power. Jealousy. Cruella... this bitch just wants to literally skin some puppies. Nobody can relate to that. Nobody thinks that's cool. That's just psychotic, serial killer behavior. Literally "killing puppies" is hyperbole we use to describe the worst kind of person we can imagine.

Sobatchja Morda
Sep 21, 2009


Plot twist: Cruella invented a literal puppy mill so she could use the locomotion of dogs for industrial labor. She wanted the puppies to make the coat and provide them with a steady wage, not literally make a coat out of puppies.

Or those dogs were just really annoying and keeping her awake with their constant barking, until she becomes half mad due to sleep deprivation. It's like The Machinist, but with puppies.

HopperUK
Apr 29, 2007

Clear off, fatso, this is a respectable establishment




At least if they'd bit down on 'Cruella is Anita's ex and wildly jealous of Roger and has swerved that spite onto the dogs' we could have had a good old-fashioned homophobic tragedy plot. No wait that would have been worse.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




I watched a bunch of the 101 Dalmations spinoff series that every animated movie seemed to have in the 90s, did have some fun dynamics. Was interesting in a few episodes (and iirc, the movie) where whenever Cruella is trying to get a rich socialite to marry her, the puppies (after some argument) actually help her as much as they can, under the reasoning that either Cruella will likely move away and be somebody else's problem, or at least no longer spend all of her time antagonising them in particular.

Taeke
Feb 2, 2010



Something that came up in a comic I'm reading but also happens plenty in TV and cinema: the idea that the police won't look for a missing person (even a kid) unless they've been missing for at least 24 or sometimes even 72 hours is a myth that has to loving die already. It's dumb, stupid storytelling that has no bearing on reality, especially when it comes to kids.

Piell
Sep 3, 2006

Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer



Young Orc

Taeke posted:

Something that came up in a comic I'm reading but also happens plenty in TV and cinema: the idea that the police won't look for a missing person (even a kid) unless they've been missing for at least 24 or sometimes even 72 hours is a myth that has to loving die already. It's dumb, stupid storytelling that has no bearing on reality, especially when it comes to white kids.

Fixed the part you had wrong.

Piell has a new favorite as of 14:33 on May 2, 2021

Wasabi the J
Jan 23, 2008


Re: cylons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzH6GVBSXSk

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs of siren songs
To oohs to ahhs to big applause
With all of my anger I scream and shout
America, I love you but you're freaking me out


Biscuit Hider

Imagined posted:

I get what you're saying, though. Every other Disney villain you can think of has a motivation you can, if not sympathize with, at least understand. Revenge. Greed. Lust for power. Jealousy. Cruella... this bitch just wants to literally skin some puppies. Nobody can relate to that. Nobody thinks that's cool. That's just psychotic, serial killer behavior. Literally "killing puppies" is hyperbole we use to describe the worst kind of person we can imagine.

Open the movie with her parents accidentally being trampled to death by a different litter of 100+ puppies.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970




It wasn't a single litter of 101 puppies, Pongo and Perdy had 15 puppies and the rest were from various other litters her henchmen had captured before hand and altogether including Pongo and Perdy there is 101

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.

The Bloop posted:

Maleficent was good.

Cruella was also definely in the works for the theater originally

I'm reserving judgement on it's worth, though

Maleficent annoyed me in the way that the baddie guy was portrayed. The guy who was Wickus in District 9 and Murdoch in The A Team.

You have him as a youngster, and he and Maleficent are friends/crushes until he is forced by his dad to chop off her wings. Which he does with a heavy heart. So I was thinking, this is cool, we get a tragic pained villian in this telling of the story of a different story's tragic pained villain. Nup, from that point on, Wickus just becomes evil brooding bad guy, and there is no more subtlety or characterization to him as he does gets eviller and growlier as the film moves on.

This is a petty whinge, but I would have liked to see his character fleshed out further, especially from how it started.

I also didn't like the relationship between Maleficent and Sleeping Beauty. That seemed to me to be the filmmakers laying on the "Angelina Jolie is really REALLY the goodie in this movie. She is the virtuous one!" extra thick.

The trailers I have seen for Cruella make it look silly and campy, with Emma Thompson chewing scenery. So that looks fun.

Edit: put in the correct name of the princess.

BrigadierSensible has a new favorite as of 03:54 on May 5, 2021

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE






Illegal Hen

My IIMM is you mistaking Aurora for Snow White.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006




Soiled Meat

Cruella has too many Emmas.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.

Android Apocalypse posted:

My IIMM is you mistaking Aurora for Snow White.

That is not irrational at all. You are right to call me out on my idiocy.

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

BrigadierSensible posted:


I also didn't like the relationship between Maleficent and Sleeping Beauty. That seemed to me to be the filmmakers laying on the "Angelina Jolie is really REALLY the goodie in this movie. She is the virtuous one!" extra thick.


I thought that that at least was pretty funny, just for Maleficent trying to be all mysterious and menacing and Aurora to completely disarm her with "I know who you are... YOU'RE MY FAIRY GODMOTHER! " and Maleficent just having no comebacks and realising "Oh poo poo, she's right. I accidentally did that didn't I..." I also liked the idea of the clause she added to her curse screwing her over, aka "She will be loved by ALL who meet her". Whoops. Should have excluded herself from that bit.

Crowetron
Apr 29, 2009




There's a part in Innerspace where Martin Short is getting chased by the bad guy from Commando and tiny Dennis Quaid in his bloodstream to trying not to get crushed by his pumping heart. The way Small Quaid escapes is by using his ship to tear a hole in Martin Short's artery and fly out through it. Which seems like it should've effected Martin Short a lot more than it did.

packetmantis
Feb 26, 2013

oh ar


It's fine, probably just nicked his arm control nerve.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.

Inner Space also glosses over the fact that Martin Short has to live the rest of his life with the corpse of that henchman in the second tiny ship floating around in his body.

They may have had the dude die by being killed by stomach acid, (I don't remember fully), so if that's the case, then he poos out the dead man encased in his tiny craft, please forgive my objections.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




BioEnchanted posted:

I thought that that at least was pretty funny, just for Maleficent trying to be all mysterious and menacing and Aurora to completely disarm her with "I know who you are... YOU'RE MY FAIRY GODMOTHER! " and Maleficent just having no comebacks and realising "Oh poo poo, she's right. I accidentally did that didn't I..." I also liked the idea of the clause she added to her curse screwing her over, aka "She will be loved by ALL who meet her". Whoops. Should have excluded herself from that bit.

You put it that way, it's basically a total Count of Monte Cristo moment.

Brazilianpeanutwar
Aug 27, 2015

Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?


I think thatís the case,heís in his little evil robot suit and falls into the stomach acid.

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO


BrigadierSensible posted:

Inner Space also glosses over the fact that Martin Short has to live the rest of his life with the corpse of that henchman in the second tiny ship floating around in his body.

They may have had the dude die by being killed by stomach acid, (I don't remember fully), so if that's the case, then he poos out the dead man encased in his tiny craft, please forgive my objections.


Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

I think that’s the case,he’s in his little evil robot suit and falls into the stomach acid.

I remember the guy burping for comedic effect when that happened.

Captain Monkey
Aug 23, 2007



Arrest him for cannibalism.

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Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

STILL ANGRY ABOUT CHEESE


Yeah, Dennis Quaid has the line "Jack... it worked. You just digested the bad guy.Ē Always stuck with me because I think even as a child, I at least subconsciously found it hosed up how out of place that seemed in an otherwise PG movie.

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