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Ms Boods
Mar 19, 2009

Did you ever wonder where the Romans got bread from? It wasn't from Waitrose!


John Big Booty posted:

gently caress, what wasn't wrong in Gladiator?

Or 99% of anything concerning Roman history, for that matter.

It was way more a metaphor for the whole Clinton-era 'family values' stuff popular at the time. Try watching it wearing 1990s American-coloured glasses and it makes a heck of a difference.

Also: Derek Jacobi as the 313+ year old Tiberius Gracchus.

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Action Tortoise
Feb 18, 2012

A wolf howls.
I know how he feels.


Accordion Man posted:

The comics have always been like that. A poor high school student someone makes a super web adhesive and launchers for it all on his own. I always though that the webs were a part of his powers and I always preferred that take.

I always thought the bite also gave him knowledge on how to synthesize webbing (he is a Chem nerd).

Out of all the Marvel movie characters I'm always hung up on Spider-Man's means to get his suit. The government issues Cap his uniforms, Thor's magic, Iron Man is rich enough to make his. Spider-Man is a high schooler who gets by on freelance photography. He should be the most ratchet looking superhero in New York.

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty


I'm pretty sure in the comics he at least originally sewed his own costume.

The fact that a high school aged boy knew how to sew full clothing is all the proof you need that Pete is a dork.

Taeke
Feb 2, 2010



Pete is a dork, very intelligent and constantly having to buy new fabric for your suit and chemicals for your webslinger is a good explanation for why he's always strapped for cash.

I don't actually put in all that much thought into superheroes. They're fun and enjoyable because of what they are: unrealistic.

1redflag
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Thomas Crowne Affair (Brosnan, not McQueen). He steals that Monet by putting it in that fancy briefcase, closes the briefcase thereby FOLDING THE CANVAS AND STRETCHER IN HALF, and walks out the front door. Next scene, Monet comes right out of the briefcase in pristine condition as if nothing happened (I.e., the stretcher isn't fractured).

The commentary states that they originally had a longer scene where he cut the stretcher so it would fold, but it ruined the pace of the scene and they just figured suspension of disbelief would cover them. I get that. However, why couldn't they just make the briefcase big enough to fit the painting flat so he didn't have to even fold it?

Crowetron
Apr 29, 2009




Stan Lee sneaks into Peter Parker's house every night and delivers a shiny new suit like a bespectacled Santa Claus.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Yeah, that bugged me too when I first saw the movie.

ASM2 and the mechanical webshooters bring up a little problem. In the first movie he gets the webfluid from Oscorp but in 2 they announce that Oscorp got rid of all their modified spiders. So where was he still getting the webfluid?

Celery Face
Feb 18, 2012


This isn't really their fault but what I didn't like about the first Spider Man movie is how The Green Goblin wasn't really that intimidating when he was flying around and causing mayhem. I was 5 years old when that movie came out and the parts where he had the mask off actually scared me. Especially when he just yelled at people.

Fatty Crabcakes
Jan 31, 2008

HISSSSSSSSSSSSS



Ms Boods posted:

It was way more a metaphor for the whole Clinton-era 'family values' stuff popular at the time. Try watching it wearing 1990s American-coloured glasses and it makes a heck of a difference.

Also: Derek Jacobi as the 313+ year old Tiberius Gracchus.
To be perfectly fair, there might have been a Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus floating around somewhere at the time, unless the family quietly faded away after the favor of Augustus.

But it was really nothing more the writers picking a name out of a hat and slapping it on Jacobi because he was in I, Claudius.

Action Tortoise
Feb 18, 2012

A wolf howls.
I know how he feels.


Celery Face posted:

This isn't really their fault but what I didn't like about the first Spider Man movie is how The Green Goblin wasn't really that intimidating when he was flying around and causing mayhem. I was 5 years old when that movie came out and the parts where he had the mask off actually scared me. Especially when he just yelled at people.

I always liked how the mask was conveniently the right shade of metallic green to go with the suit.

1redflag posted:

Thomas Crowne Affair (Brosnan, not McQueen). He steals that Monet by putting it in that fancy briefcase, closes the briefcase thereby FOLDING THE CANVAS AND STRETCHER IN HALF, and walks out the front door. Next scene, Monet comes right out of the briefcase in pristine condition as if nothing happened (I.e., the stretcher isn't fractured).

The commentary states that they originally had a longer scene where he cut the stretcher so it would fold, but it ruined the pace of the scene and they just figured suspension of disbelief would cover them. I get that. However, why couldn't they just make the briefcase big enough to fit the painting flat so he didn't have to even fold it?

I remember that moment. I was still in grade school and that took me out of the film.

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

This reminded me of the biggest reason I can't bring myself to enjoy Person of Interest despite it having a pretty cool premise (well, this and the unlikable main characters): Every episode has like three instances of the bad guys holding a good guy at gunpoint...and then standing there menacingly for like a full 5 seconds until another good guy shoots them. It happens in all kinds of movies and TV shows and it always drives me nuts but it's so prevalent in PoI specifically that it's the first thing I think about whenever I think of that show. If you have to build suspense like that, at least throw in a line about the bad guys needing to take the good guys alive for whatever reason, or make it so the audience sees the bad guy before the main character, or just anything at all on earth other than the bad guy pulling a gun and then zoning out until backup arrives.

Yeah, the last episode I saw they did this twice within the last 5 minutes of the show. First off the bad-guy-pointing-the-gun was wearing body armour though, so he could pop up just in time to be shot one more time as he was about to kill our heroes.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here


Nap Ghost

About Spider-Mans webbing, shooters etc. In the very early stories, like the first 20-30 issues, they spent some time having Peter synthesize the webbing through trial and error until he gets everything just right. Ditto for the web shooters. At one point he goes to try to sell the formula for webbing to a glue company but by that point he's perfected it so it wears out. He offers to re-work it but they're like 'no thanks, please leave through the window you came in.' The costume was something he could sew up and throw in the wash. Movies just mess everything up.

Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


Action Tortoise posted:

Where the hell does Peter get his outfit? OK so Tobey made a really crappy one for wrestling but then he makes this slick rear end looking suit that he can constantly repair after every fight but he's always scraping by to get cash?

Once he gets popular he can probably just get replacement stuff from costume shops. Newspaper Spider-Man bought an entire replacement costume when he was stuck in Miami without one and I'd bet that he's done something similar in the comic books as well.

Stupid_Sexy_Flander
Mar 14, 2007

Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?


Grimey Drawer

I think Electro's gear was made by Oscorp. Same with that DS game thing stuck on the side of his head.

Esroc
May 31, 2010

Goku would be ashamed of you.


Tiggum posted:

Once he gets popular he can probably just get replacement stuff from costume shops. Newspaper Spider-Man bought an entire replacement costume when he was stuck in Miami without one and I'd bet that he's done something similar in the comic books as well.

That was one thing the New 52 comics addressed that I'd like to see in a superhero movie. In his first days as Superman, Clark commissioned a screen printer to make dozens of t-shirts with his "S" insignia on them in various colors. Then wore those and waited for his popularity to spawn numerous knockoff shirts of the same design for tourists and Superman fans to buy. So as time went on he only had to pose as a tourist and wander into any Metropolis gift shop to get a new "costume."

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion


I feel like that happened to Spider Man too at one point? His suit gets damaged so he walks into a costume store and realizes the costume was higher quality than what he was already wearing.

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014



Away all Goats posted:

I feel like that happened to Spider Man too at one point? His suit gets damaged so he walks into a costume store and realizes the costume was higher quality than what he was already wearing.

On the other hand, there was also The Amazing Bag-Man incident.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

How did Ravenswood or whatever that Arkham type place was called have all this equipment specifically designed to imprison Electro? I know he got his suit from lab personnel who were wearing those insulated rubber suits.

But the idea this prison is gonna have a facility and equipment for some electric dude seems awful convenient.

Aerobot
Apr 28, 2013


Apparently horror films expect me to believe that all it takes to frame someone for murder in modern times is to get their fingerprints on the murder weapon and add a dash some other circumstancial evidence, and voila! Instant jailtime!

Nevermind that simply looking at the sequence of events, the bodies, and the crime scene would make it extremely obvious that at least one other person was responsible. Heck, most of the time simple forensics or goddamn common sense would prove that they were innocent. Sure, they might still get committed to a mental hospital for saying that a monster did it, but they won't be blamed for the crime.


Oh, and the mayor who shoots down the protagonist's protests is clearly an Evil Capitalist Pig for daring to be concerned about the town's economy. Now, if the protagonist had proof, that's one thing, but if all they have is a few strange incidents then of course the mayor isn't going to do something drastic until they're sure. Especially since, as mayor, they will be held the most responsible, not the protagonist. Even if they're a corrupt rear end in a top hat who only cares about money doesn't mean that they don't have a point about not crippling an entire town on heresay.

Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002

Hey, Adora.



Someone brought up Firefly earlier. One thing that's always bugged me is when Inara's checking her messages in Shindig--maybe I'm missing something, but when the scene begins she's pretty clearly deleting/listening to recorded messages. Then she comes to Atherton's message, and suddenly she's talking to it like it's a live call or something, at least until Mal barges in, at which point she pauses the video and drops the lace over it.

She might have gotten a live call while receiving messages and put him on hold, but it really just looks like Atherton just sent her a message with conversational pauses for some reason, and she talked to it like a weirdo.

Son of Thunderbeast has a new favorite as of 23:51 on May 12, 2014

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005






Choco1980 posted:

In the same vein, movie swordfights. Now, I know that in fencing, you often block with your sword. With a non-fencing sword, which is what most people use in any given historical type film (keyword MOST. I know there's exceptions) you don't want to deflect with your sword because it's a good way to break it. Even at this point I can deal with things. The problem comes when the choreography is just plain sloppy and the swordfighters appear to be actually aiming for their opponents swords.

I'm nitpicking, but hey, lets nerd out on this poo poo. This is is true if the sword is of poor quality steel, but good stuff is durable enough that your sword should not break. The edge will get all hosed up but straight up breaking it takes some doing. You would try not to have your sword get hit, but without a shield there will be parries and such. Swords obviously did break a lot though, so yeah it would only be used when the incoming blow could not be dodged. Movie swordfights are just a gigantic pile of irritating nonsense, though normally I can ignore it.

One thing that drives me nuts is when characters are wearing armor, and swords and arrows just go right through it. The LOTR movies are exceptionally bad at this, like all those Gondorian dudes wearing full plate that is apparently made of foil as the bad guys just stab right through them all the time. Hell even chainmail was really hard to shoot an arrow through because of the padding worn under it.

Action Tortoise
Feb 18, 2012

A wolf howls.
I know how he feels.


Panfilo posted:

How did Ravenswood or whatever that Arkham type place was called have all this equipment specifically designed to imprison Electro? I know he got his suit from lab personnel who were wearing those insulated rubber suits.


Oh that's where it's from? Gonna need to see that again for myself.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible





This might be a more realistic looking Spider-Man costume, but I doubt you could convince Marvel/Sony to go with that in their 150 million dollar blockbusters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUcktiQxC9Q

syscall girl
Nov 6, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Fun Shoe

Aerobot posted:

Apparently horror films expect me to believe that all it takes to frame someone for murder in modern times is to get their fingerprints on the murder weapon and add a dash some other circumstancial evidence, and voila! Instant jailtime!

Nevermind that simply looking at the sequence of events, the bodies, and the crime scene would make it extremely obvious that at least one other person was responsible. Heck, most of the time simple forensics or goddamn common sense would prove that they were innocent. Sure, they might still get committed to a mental hospital for saying that a monster did it, but they won't be blamed for the crime.


Oh, and the mayor who shoots down the protagonist's protests is clearly an Evil Capitalist Pig for daring to be concerned about the town's economy. Now, if the protagonist had proof, that's one thing, but if all they have is a few strange incidents then of course the mayor isn't going to do something drastic until they're sure. Especially since, as mayor, they will be held the most responsible, not the protagonist. Even if they're a corrupt rear end in a top hat who only cares about money doesn't mean that they don't have a point about not crippling an entire town on heresay.

You have a lot of specific complaints that you are directing at "horror films" here and it makes for a really confusing post.

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.




I'm going to link to tvtropes (goon trigger warning)

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheCorpseStopsHere
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BetterManhandleTheMurderWeapon
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SuitWithVestedInterests

These are all really common tropes.

FuckenPunchOn
Nov 9, 2013


Dark Knight Rises.

That stupid bit where all the cops march right up to the bad dudes and start a fight with them. Said bad dudes are armed to the teeth with every bad dude holding an assault rifle. They've even got a couple of armoured cars with big fuckoff guns on them. The cops have... a few glocks and crippling cases of malnutrition or some poo poo because they got stuck in the sewers like dumb idiots.

Why the gently caress are the bad dudes letting a bunch of cops march right up to fight them instead of just spraying right into the crowd, when even if they miss, they can't miss.

Even for that movie, It just sticks out as a loving retarded scene that nobody thought through properly.

Edit: wording

letthereberock
Sep 4, 2004



One thing I am noticing more in movies is scenes where the main characters do something in public that by all accounts should attract a lot of attention, but don't because the screenwriter couldn't be bothered to have the characters interact with anyone but each other.

The worst recent example is in Trouble With the Curve where Clint Eastwood and Amy Adams (who is his daughter in the film) are in a bar, and some random guy starts getting handsy with Amy Adams. Clint pushes the guy up against a wall, breaks a beer bottle and threatens to slash the guys throat with the broken bottle. Eventually they are pulled apart by Justin Timberlake's character. No one else in the bar notices or reacts to any of this. Everyone just goes about their business like nothing happened.

I get that the bar they are in is supposed to be a rough and tumble place, but come on, this movie takes place in the real world, not some Hollywood version of the Wild West. A bar fight that comes within inches of being gruesome murder is going to attract some attention and probably get those involved kicked out.

Clint's actions in that scene make sense in the context of what we learn about his character later on, but it was such lazy screenwriting to not handle any of the likely ramifications.

syscall girl
Nov 6, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Fun Shoe

FuckenPunchOn posted:

Dark Knight Rises.

That stupid bit where all the cops march right up to the bad dudes and start a fight with them. Said bad dudes are armed to the teeth with every bad dude holding an assault rifle. They've even got a couple of armoured cars with big fuckoff guns on them. The cops have... a few glocks and crippling cases of malnutrition or some poo poo because they got stuck in the sewers like dumb idiots.

Why the gently caress are the bad dudes letting a bunch of cops march right up to fight them instead of just spraying right into the crowd, when even if they miss, they can't miss.

Even for that movie, It just sticks out as a loving retarded scene that nobody thought through properly.

Edit: wording

Also all of the cops have shaved and are wearing clean uniforms. They look like a bunch of boy scouts and not the dirty sewer rats they would have become.

jabby
Oct 27, 2010



An old one from Robocop. When his partner is helping fix his aim after he gets damaged, it cuts to a shot from his perspective showing a green targeting cross a few inches to the right of the babyfood he's trying to hit, which moves over as she adjusts his aim.

Surely if his aim is screwed up then he should think he is on-target but miss? If he knows the bullet is going to go off to the right where the green cross is, what exactly is wrong with his aim?

The Duke of Ben
Jul 12, 2005
Listen, if you're not going to tell me how the entire world economic, political, and social order can be completely replaced in every detail, then I think maybe you should consider that this is the best of all possible worlds.

Check and mate.


jabby posted:

An old one from Robocop. When his partner is helping fix his aim after he gets damaged, it cuts to a shot from his perspective showing a green targeting cross a few inches to the right of the babyfood he's trying to hit, which moves over as she adjusts his aim.

Surely if his aim is screwed up then he should think he is on-target but miss? If he knows the bullet is going to go off to the right where the green cross is, what exactly is wrong with his aim?

I thought that was actually a really cool detail. His automatic targeting is putting his aim off, so he has to adjust manually and re-calibrate. I don't know if people have to do this anymore, but if you've ever had to calibrate a touch-screen, it makes a lot of sense to see what he does there. To human vision, it's very easy to fix, but his computer aiming runs independently and is screwed up. When working properly, his computer aiming is far better, as he demonstrates at various times in the movies.

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion


FuckenPunchOn posted:

Dark Knight Rises.

That stupid bit where all the cops march right up to the bad dudes and start a fight with them. Said bad dudes are armed to the teeth with every bad dude holding an assault rifle. They've even got a couple of armoured cars with big fuckoff guns on them. The cops have... a few glocks and crippling cases of malnutrition or some poo poo because they got stuck in the sewers like dumb idiots.

Why the gently caress are the bad dudes letting a bunch of cops march right up to fight them instead of just spraying right into the crowd, when even if they miss, they can't miss.

Even for that movie, It just sticks out as a loving retarded scene that nobody thought through properly.

Edit: wording

I feel like they could have easily solved that too. The bad guys raid Wayne's armory for those weapons, right? So just have a scene where after disabling the armored cars, batman disables the waynetech rifles with a remote control and bam, instant hand to hand combat. Sure it's dumb, but it would fit right in with the rest of the dumb movie.

Away all Goats has a new favorite as of 02:28 on May 14, 2014

Pussy Quipped
Jan 29, 2009



So in The Matrix, why do the Agents have such lovely aim? They aren't even human! They are literally sentient computer programs so you would think as part of their programming they would have perfect aim with a firearm. The machines would never have to worry about red pills because Smith could just cap fuckers from 200 yards out.

Tunahead
Mar 26, 2010



Re: Superhero costume acquisition implausibility:

Grant Morrison posted:

People say kids can't understand the difference between fact and fiction, but that's bullshit. Kids understand that real crabs don't sing like the ones in The Little Mermaid. But you give an adult fiction, and the adult starts asking really loving dumb questions like 'How does Superman fly? How do those eyebeams work? Who pumps the Batmobile's tires?' It's a loving made-up story, you idiot! Nobody pumps the tires!
I'm kind of with Grant Morrison on this, and suspension of disbelief in general. It just makes it worse when they give the drat costume its own origin story. It's a costume, it doesn't need it. But then, I suppose that's why this is the irrationally irritating movie moments thread.


And speaking of The Matrix, my irrational pet peeve is when movies portray situations where the actors look like they're having a hard time pulling off physical moves that their characters supposedly do effortlessly. I couldn't even enjoy the first Matrix film because of that. All the things the movie did well, just completely ignored as soon as Keanu raises his foot above thigh level and looks like he needs to have a quick lie down.

By contrast, Equilibrium is a loving terrible movie in basically all conceivable ways but I loved it just because it looked like Christian Bale didn't have any trouble twirling around like a ballerina.

Pilchenstein
May 17, 2012

So your plan is for half of us to die?


Hot Rope Guy

Tunahead posted:

By contrast, Equilibrium is a loving terrible movie in basically all conceivable ways but I loved it just because it looked like Christian Bale didn't have any trouble twirling around like a ballerina.
Equilibrium is as dumb as a box of rocks but totally worth it for the fight he has with Robert the Bruce at the end.

XenoXiaoyu
Mar 28, 2006

Give us your HANDS

Pilchenstein posted:

Equilibrium is as dumb as a box of rocks but totally worth it for the fight he has with Robert the Bruce at the end.

Holy poo poo. THAT'S where I've seen that guy.

Your Gay Uncle
Feb 16, 2012
EXCUSE ME WHILE I HELP DOZENS OF MEXICANS FUNNEL HOT TAR UP MY MOTHERS ASS WITH A TRAFFIC CONE

Rurea posted:

So in The Matrix, why do the Agents have such lovely aim? They aren't even human! They are literally sentient computer programs so you would think as part of their programming they would have perfect aim with a firearm. The machines would never have to worry about red pills because Smith could just cap fuckers from 200 yards out.

I love the idea of Agents just being glorified aimbots and wall hackers.

Your Gay Uncle has a new favorite as of 14:35 on May 15, 2014

DrBouvenstein
Feb 28, 2007

I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.


Rurea posted:

So in The Matrix, why do the Agents have such lovely aim? They aren't even human! They are literally sentient computer programs so you would think as part of their programming they would have perfect aim with a firearm. The machines would never have to worry about red pills because Smith could just cap fuckers from 200 yards out.

Also, why was it a big deal in the second/third one that Smith "came back"?

He's a loving computer program, why wouldn't he have a backup? I'll allow that Neo hosed up his file system so bad that a simple "un-delete" wouldn't work, but surely this super advanced AI is taking nightly backups, yes?

Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002

Hey, Adora.



The Matrix's engine was built by Bethesda

Shai-Hulud
Jul 10, 2008

But it feels so right!


Lipstick Apathy

That explains the faces...

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Razorwired
Dec 7, 2008

It's about to start!

Rurea posted:

So in The Matrix, why do the Agents have such lovely aim? They aren't even human! They are literally sentient computer programs so you would think as part of their programming they would have perfect aim with a firearm. The machines would never have to worry about red pills because Smith could just cap fuckers from 200 yards out.

According to the sequels the hacker's attempts kinda mean gently caress all. The machines consider them a bit of inevitable glitching because the illusion of rebellion makes the program work. So to keep them fighting the Agents are probably intentionally made to be imposing and nearly unstoppable without being omnipotent.

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