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bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




"The Following" with Kevin Bacon had the following exchanges in the pilot:

quote:

Every Tuesday, Carroll was shackled and transported to the Sussex County law library, where he was confined to a sealed room, one guard.
And furnished with law books.
Actual books or digital files?
Digital.
Everything's archived on the library's server.
So he had internet access.
It would have been restricted.
Because that would stop Joe Carroll? drat it! We need to rip apart the library's ethernet! Get the cyber techs in here.

quote:

Carroll never visited same web address twice, which suggests he's using various URLs.
Who with?
Well, there's the rub. Every time I access an IP address, it mutates.
This is a fairly sophisticated virus.

Carroll was an english professor btw

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bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Was gentrification a theme anyone else picked up on in BB2000? I only saw it ounce as a kid long ago so maybe I'm overanalysing stale memories.

In the first film, everyones part of the struggling underclass. The orphanage is being closed by an uncaring bureaucracy and Curtis and the Penguin will be kicked out. We see all these music legends and Aretha Franklin is working in a diner and John Lee Hooker is busking outside. Elwood lives in one room beside a railway line.
In BB2000 the soul food diner is a Mercedes dealership and Bob's Country Bunker is a nice restaurant and everything feels so clean in a Star Wars prequel kind of way in comparison.

The original had a great character dynamic between Jake and Elwood, but in BB2000 the characters were just... nothing. The kid, John Goodman and the cop all got a little characterisation when we first meet them, but once they donned the suits, their personalities were stripped away.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Krinkle posted:

Whoa buddy you cut out there for a minute. That don't make a lick of sense. There aren't two thousand blues brothers. There's just two. Jake and Elwood. Unfortunately John Belushi died in 1982 so they never made a sequel.

But that dvd remark reminds me, the weirdo directors cut version of the blues brothers my sister lent me has this weird additional scene where Jake quits his job at the cheese whiz factory. There's no music. The entire goddamn movie grinds to a halt as he tells his boss he's quitting and stuffs some cheeze whiz down his shirt. It wasn't funny and it added nothing that him saying he'd quit in the previous scene, and tossing cheese whiz to the old man in the next scene didn't.

I'm going to idiomatically eat poo poo if people come in and form a consensus that that scene has actually always been in the theatrical version, and every version, and I just forgot it because I think it's bad.

It was in the DVD version I had but not the VHS.
I thought it was a glue factory, which explained how he had those cans of glue he used on the Good Ol' Boys' RV and the elevator panel? Been a while since I saw it.

A couple other differences I recall:
The gas station where Elwood meets Twiggy explodes, adding nothing to the story.
John Lee Hooker's bit is considerably longer and I have no idea why they cut him down to about 10 seconds in the theatrical release because that's just criminal.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




I hope someday they adapt the books that encourage children to poach pheasants and poison their granny


e: well poo poo there is a Danny Champion of the World film. Jeremy Irons and Robbie Coltrane are in it.

bitterandtwisted has a new favorite as of 14:31 on Sep 23, 2016

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Byzantine posted:

Thor (and Norse myth in general) is only well-known in the public consciousness because of Marvel making him a superhero. Thor was actually chosen because Stan Lee figured people were too familiar with the Greek gods and he wanted something more obscure.

The general public had never heard of bats before batman made them popular :eng101:



who the gently caress had even heard of comicbook Thor before the movies came out?

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Speaking of Liar Liar, I rewatched it a while ago and Fletcher's client deserved to win.
Some rich rear end in a top hat knocks up an underage girl then tries to leave her destitute following their divorce and we're meant to think this guy's a victim.
The only line he had in the movie was "I didn't know she was underage" :lol:

Ace Ventura is bizarrely homophobic - inducing vomiting and burning all his clothes when he finds Einhart is Finkle in disguise - and there's no payoff or purpose beyond "kissing boys is gross"

Mask was just unfunny.


I should stop rewatching things I used to like. :/

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




DrBouvenstein posted:

Uhh...did you miss the part where he's trying to leave her destitute because she was out there fuckin' other dudes?
Guy would still have half a shitload of cash if he just divorced her like a normal person.
Prenups are a bad concept, glad we don't allow them where I live.

Nutsngum posted:

Youve got a really weird way of reading movies. The point was she was underage for the wedding to be legal. Nothing said the guy wasnt 18 or 19 at the time.


He's clearly older than her.

E: and what wampalord said

bitterandtwisted has a new favorite as of 18:50 on Dec 19, 2016

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




I think they got R2 and 3PO's backstories the wrong way round.
Have Anakin build R2. Anakin worked in a repair shop and a repair droid would be useful. Plus R2 seemed to have a lot of non-standard features and spent the rest of the prequels with Anakin and Obi-Wan.
3PO could have just been a droid the queen already owned. Protocol droids sound like the wort of thing a queen would have.

Or better yet don't give Anakin robot building skills that would never be seen or referenced again in the franchise.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Why would marrying Fiona make Farquaad King of Duloc? Is Shrek now King of Duloc?

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Marrying a princess makes you a princess' husband. Even marrying a queen won't necessarily make you king. Mirror gave bad advice there imo

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




In JP1, the dinosaurs are animals. As the humans lose control, the island just becomes an ecosystem where humans aren't the top predator.

In JP2 the dinosaurs are monsters. Compsognathus are land piranhas. If the sick triceratops scene had happened in JP2, it would have chomped some extra's head off.
T-rex in the City was dumb. Maybe I'm it's an unfair stereotype of Americans, but if there was a real life monster walking about town eating people, wouldn't thousands of gun-totting rednecks in pickups be racing to be the one to bag it? Why did anyone want to save the monster that's eating people when you could clone a whole bunch more?

JW was just too dumb for me to stay invested in the characters and world
Oh no, our super dinosaur is missing, let's just walk right into the last place we knew it was oh poo poo it is still there and has a cloaking device! Let's team up with the velociraptors and T-rex to fight the mutant superdino and learn the true meaning of friendship

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Beachcomber posted:

The T-Rex thing took place over a single night and there probably wasn't even any solid news until it was already over. Also, you would need some serious firepower to even make a dent in an animal that large, which most hunters/gun nuts aren't going to have.

In 5 years with thousands of embryos they only managed to get 3 viable tyrannosaurs, not that our heroes were thinking about that. They just wanted to save the aminals.


Did they have a personal bond with the man eating monster in the post-extinction universe they live in?

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




sinburger posted:

You are aware that JW is a fictional movie and not a documentary yea? Multiple people had to make a conscious decision to plan and shoot a horrific death scene for a character who didn't do anything remotely worthy of deserving it.

"oh no, she has a British accent and doesn't like babysitting. Let's ultra murder her. "

I don't think anyone said she deserved it. Toilet lawyer didn't deserve it either.
They just weren't given much empathetic characterisation because the purpose of their deaths wasn't to make us sad, but to show the spectacle of people being eaten by dinosaurs.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




I tried rewatching Stargate as an adult. The pilot had more full frontal nudity and rape than I expected from a cheesy daytime sci-fi adventure.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




On the subject of martial arts, I've been watching a bunch of Jackie Chan films lately (not seen much of his stuff before), mostly his Honk Kong ones.
The fights are so creative and entertaining.
Then I watched Rush Hour. Bleh.

There's far less action, what there is is uninventive and edited as if they're filming some actor with no fighting experience and hiding it with cuts.
The only bit that felt like his other films was when he's fighting while trying to save the priceless vases. Then they destroy the vases :geno:

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Thanks friends, that's a great video.
I wasn't going to bother with The Accidental Spy but maybe I will now :tutbutt:

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Daredevil's sight works like this, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ8aLRnd80k

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Stewart has often said he was grateful to star trek for boosting his career and I don't think he ever expressed resentment toward it, but it was probably nice to be complimented on a project he did out of passion.
His Macbeth was really good imo

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




starkebn posted:

Also, nearly every movie that includes it's title as dialogue is incredibly clunky if it's not a common word

Bond films always seem to do this but I can't remember or imagine how they worked Quantum of Solace in.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT8646Nx2C0
:hellyeah:

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Wheat Loaf posted:

It's like, why did He-Man need a secret identity if Skeletor already wanted to kill Prince Adam anyway?


To keep his fabulous magical powers secret from his parents.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




The hobbit should have been one film with a more humorous tone. They opened with Ian Holm as old Bilbo narrating the story, so already they have their reason for the inconsistency.

More dwarves singing "chip the cups and crack the plates, that's what Bilbo Baggins hates!", fewer long, boring and unbelievable fights and videogame bosses

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Beorn in the book was Brian Blessed, not this boring gloomy-guts :mad:

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Captain Monkey posted:

No that's accurate. Later an elf lady falls in love with him and they (probably?) bang.

There are three handsome dwarfs: the leader and the two younger ones and she bangs one of the young ones.
The dwarves in the book had very little characterization aside from Thorin.

There's the fat one who fell asleep alot and is a complete liability, but the film has none of that.
There's Balin (later lord of Moria) who is Bilbo's bff but the film had none of that.
There's two two young ones who die offscreen. So the film bigs up their roles, gives one a stupid love subplot and has more epic battles.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Wheat Loaf posted:

The one scene in the last one where the Eye of Sauron explodes out of this tower in Dol Guldur is pretty cool-looking,


I''m gonna fight em all
A five nation army couldn't hold me back

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




I'm an independent torture contractor I get confessions that are totally admissible in court.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Cowslips Warren posted:




Random IIMM: in movies with robots, why do humans always treat them like poo poo? It's a staple in Alien, and in the shitstorm that was Covenant, the surviving humans RUN PAST THEIR ANDROID WHO HAS SAVED THEM and leave him to die on that planet instead of taking two seconds to shoot both androids and grabbing the one that heals.

Look at how humans treat humans who are servants, slaves or just a lower social status.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Why might someone poo poo-talk the tories more from 2010 to present than from 1997 to 2010? :thunk:

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Turtlicious posted:

Right but how is that a bad thing? I know I'm getting sucked into a troll post, but I wanna know where this is gonna go.

Alhazred gave cliches the movie avoids as examples or things noted movie idiot mrbibs might think were missing from the movie oh my god I'm explaining jokes in pyf

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Saw "When Worlds Collide" recently. There's a lot of Biblical allegory going on with the old sinful world burning and a chosen group escaping on the Ark. The chosen are entirely white, with Hollywood good-looks.
The director was a Polish Jew who worked in Austria and Germany until the 1930s so I don't expect there was any intended message behind that; it's just how things were in Hollywood back then.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

It bugs me when in spy movies, the spy guy sneaks into a place to take pictures of some hidden secret plan thing, and for some reason starts acting like he's shooting models.

Turning the camera sideways, leaning back, leaning forward, just looking like an idiot basically.


The lace cravat/shirtsleeve combo was also too conspicuous imo

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




John Wick really rode a fine line between being self-aware and being an outright parody of action films.
I liked the bit where John was killing countless unnamed mooks while one guy was doing the same thing in a videogame

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Jedit posted:

Why, does Fred pull the mask off to reveal it was Old Man Simmons?

It really bugs me when SF shows set in the future make a list of two present day exemplars and a third fictional addition to the same group. No specific examples because it happens far too much, but bonus points are awarded if it's a positive list and the addition is obviously meant to be black. "He could have been one of the great American Presidents, like Washington, Roosevelt or Ngengi!"

You could be remembered alongside the Wright Brothers, Elon Musk and Zephran Cochrain!
-actual star trek discovery line

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Drunken Baker posted:


Someone else was telling me there's a telly show now where if you can escape the UK with 24 hours worth of planning you can win money also?

Buying a plane ticket is not that challenging imo

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Everyone who dies in walking dead comes back regardless of whether they were bit, right? Do they treat the elderly like ticking bombs?

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Triffids and blindness were unrelated.
The triffids were a top secret gm crop that spread worldwide when the guy stealing the seeds plane got blown up.
Everyone got used to the weird moving plants over the next 20 years and they became a vital food source.

The meteors are implied to be WMDs designed to cause blindness and plague and the protagonist is the only one who cares about the triffid threat at first - everyone else gives him poo poo for it.


28 Days Later totally stole the hospital intro from Triffids but I can't be mad, it was a great scene.


E: talking about the book. Only adaptation I've seen is a tv movie with Eddie Izzard. It wasn't great.

bitterandtwisted has a new favorite as of 10:01 on Feb 23, 2018

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Beachcomber posted:

Doom isn't even about Doom.

Doom (game version) is about :

1. Demons (or at least aliens who love satanic iconography)
2. Teleporters
3. Shooting and running at implausible speeds.

There wasn't a single floating skull, let alone a cyberdemon. I don't remember any plasma rifles either.

It had a pinky demon and BFG
Shame they got rid of the whole hell thing in favour of a dumb good/evil dna idea but I guess Event Horizon already did that really well.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Burtontalk made me look up his filmography and I learned he's making a live action Dumbo film.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Mu Zeta posted:

It's a Disney live action. All the ones that come out have been bland as gently caress like Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella. I'm expecting Aladdin (Guy Ritchie) and Dumbo will be exactly the same.

It will be done Burton style and look like rear end

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bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




yeah I eat rear end posted:

he already did plenty of bad things by the time he went to dumbledork for a job though. Also it's debatable that dumbledore was a good guy.

e: plus he already showed in the past he was willing to step in when things got out of control with grindelwald. Voldemort was out of control well before harry was born.

Did dumbledore know he’d killed anyone by that point? I recall the penseive scenes were all 2nd hand accounts he’d gathered years after the fact.

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