Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Aphrodite posted:

Rewatching the Civil War trailer, it's not actually as bad as most movies. They're all possible, just some are super unlikely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKrVegVI0Us&t=18s

That first shot actually shakes and swings like someone holding a camera. The second could even believably be a traffic camera if it wasn't panning. None have impossible movement for a helicopter or camera drone or something.

That is the worst and most cgi-looking spiderman in 20 years.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Snapchat A Titty posted:

I just love Taye Digg's smile. He literally has the handsomest smile in Hollywood. It's a wonder it took so long for Bale's character to work out that the top brass weren't taking equilibrium.

I kinda took it as him feigning emotion to unsettle his rivals. He never smiled with his eyes in that movie.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Pretty sure either Sean Astin or Elijah Wood got a pretty nasty cut from a broken bottle when they were filming their romantic boat scene in Fellowship, and they were wearing heavy rubber Hobbit soles!

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Memento posted:

Was that the one with The Rock as a terrifyingly bad CG scorpion man?

Nope that was Returns. Number 3 was the one with Jet Li and it was completely nonsensical.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

I saw The Scorpion King and in it The Rock is a pretty badass warrior in ancient Egypt and I realize that both of those movies take place in the same universe but uhh... does the movie ever explain why or how the hero ended up becoming a giant digital evil scorpion-God creature?

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Speaking of dumb movies based in Egypt, one of the things that bothered me about the all around terrible found footage horror movie The Pyramid was that in it, the main characters are exploring a newly discovered pyramid that had remained closed for thousands of years, and inside they discover mutant cats that had survived those thousands of years in their closed off ecosystem through cannibalism. Uh are you kidding me. You would run out of cats before even the third generation. Conservation of energy doesn't work like that.

Same thing with the 2009 horror film Pandorum (which despite its faults I actually liked). An interstellar space ship is crewed by and shipping the last remnants of humanity to a new habitable planet until a crazy crew member awakens portions of the human cargo from stasis and rules over them like a king for thousands of years. The humans are forced to cannibalize themselves and mutate into terrible creatures over that period within the space ship, but again, a closed of system like that would never be able to sustain itself for so long. Mammals just aren't that efficient.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Mister Nobody posted:

Absolutely no attempts are made to explain how the mummy could ever mistake the two.

I think he's just dumb. I like how during the final confrontation in The Mummy, he basically just stands in the middle of the room doing nothing while all three main characters are running around casting spells to remove his immortality and killing his girlfriend.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016


haha these are pretty great reads, and appropriately tongue-in-cheek. What she needs to do next is pair up with an engineer or an electrician and jointly tackle the unrealistic nightmare of self-sustainability that is The Matrix

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Nuebot posted:


The fact that this exists is basically all I know about the EU. That and everyone is clones.

It doesn't look like it allows for very much mobility, also why doesn't he have little blades sticking up around his neck/head and protecting his torso? You know, just the most vital parts of the body?

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Nutsngum posted:

What? No he didnt. He had the PROBABILITY of a heart defect. He was more then a match for everyone else on the treadmills.

Unless youre interpreting his heart racing and getting louder during the scene where his brother was literally in the same room as him as a "defect" and not you know.. him panicking; in which case lol how the gently caress did you interpret it that way?

There's a scene where he grips his chest in pain because his heart is about to explode from the physical exertion of doing sit ups. Dude shouldn't be on a multi-year space trip.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

When the protagonist is having a minutes-long earth-shaking climactic battle with his arch nemesis on top of speeding cars on the highway, leaping from semi to car then back to the semi (maybe even dangling between two semis driving next to each other) and for some reason all of these people around them decide to continue their commute instead of immediately pulling over, despite the fact that one guy just got punched backwards into some poor woman's windshield at 70 mph.

The one movie that gets a pass: Minority Report

When you realize that everyone in modern car chase scenes drive at a breezy 15mph

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

rydiafan posted:

The arguably fair counterpoint is that what he's saying and he's demonstrating is useful and true, even if the conditions he's currently in are bullshit.

That said, I prefer Survivorman.


Given how many women watch the show just for him I think there'd be way more than a 10% drop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBmhNA7JME4

Essentially Bear Grylls is demonstrating how to "self-rescue" in situations that have been overly dramatized for ratings and in this instance, would unnecessarily endanger the hypothetical stranded individual that has taken his teachings to heart. Lava fields, both fresh and old, are treacherous and in a survival situation, there's isn't really a compelling reason to cross one.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Henchman of Santa posted:

Also, why do the Russian-speaking characters call each other by their full names all the time? Is that a thing Russians do?

It's customary to refer to someone by their first name and their patronymic name in Slavic cultures, especially in a more formal context.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

WeAreTheRomans posted:

It was a brave decision to base Turing on renowned physicist Sheldon Cooper but I think it pays off

The movie is much better when watched from this perspective. BAZINGA!

Yeah portraying him as committing treason by not reporting the Soviet informer in his crew because he's afraid people will know he likes guys was incredibly short-sighted, and insulting to his legacy.

On the subject of biopics, I felt like Hacksaw Ridge was obsessed with the admittedly incredible deed of Desmond Doss, but doesn't make any sort of effort to actually flesh him out as a character. He's an object that receives scorn, hatred and abuse from his fellow soldiers and commanding officers for his beliefs the entire movie, he does something incredible in spite of that because BIBLE, then the movie ends. I know Doss was supposed to be meek and inoffensive, but literally every other character in the movie receives a better characterization than him.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

What do people here think of the movie Joy? No one seems to actually know anything about Joy Mangano's real life history, and director David O. Russell was pretty up front about it not actually being representative of her life story, but more using her as a conduit through which he can portray the struggle of women in male dominated capitalist America. But it's still a Joy Mangano biopic complete with miracle mop.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Strom Cuzewon posted:

Irrationally Irritating Music Video Moment:
The opening to Linken Park's "In The End" has a secret message encoded in Pigpen cipher


The bit I've transcribed reads: Taeva Vaft Uiatij Lant Lant Deadoy Vijqpv Vnhaha

Ffs, I thought I'd found something cool.

Your first mistake was listening to Linkin Park

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Gandalf had to kill it because otherwise he would have joined Sauron's army and wrecked everyone's poo poo. Same reason Gandalf orchestrated all the events of the Hobbit, because he knew the dark lord was coming and he wanted Smaug dead before that happened.

According to Reddit.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Ego-bot posted:

In the newest Xmen movie, the mansion is in the process of exploding and Quicksilver goes into bullet time and rescues everyone. One girl is already being propelled backwards from the explosion. If the force of the blast is already effecting her, wouldn't her insides be turned to mush?

The force from Quicksilver moving all their bodies at that speed would've been ten times worse for their organs than any percussion blast that explosion gave off.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Morpheus posted:

Probably because that's based on the events in the books, whereas the Dayne fight wasn't. As in, it wasn't, uh, 'choreographed' by the book text.

Neither was the Jaime Lannister fight. In the book Ned breaks his leg because a horse falls on him and Jory Cassel is swarmed by multiple guys with spears. Probably one of the only times the show improves upon the books.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Disregarding the inherent complications of a man being capable of spontaneously regaining brain function or even bodily life processes after thousands of years encased in ice, I'm a little irritated that in Encino Man, a block of ice somehow stayed frozen through thousands of summers just a few meters underground in Encino, California.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Jeepers Creepers 3 got a release date, but apparently it's only going to be shown for a single showing on 9/26. That's really pretty damned weird, not to mention a bit of a pain in the rear end to get to. Who the gently caress releases a single night movie showing and then does it on a tuesday?


I think you'll appreciate the Katherine Heigl/Tom Sizemore debacle that's famous for only making $30

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

I know it wasn't entirely a serious movie (and probably has some parallels in reality, considering the entire movie is an allegory for climate change), but I found it a little absurd in Pacific Rim that all the world's governments would agree that the best way to handle a wormhole that has proven to infinitely spawn giant, destructive monsters at an exponential rate, would be to de-fund the giant robot program that had been working up till then and build a giant wall and forget about it.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

I think Cracked did a surprisingly concise takedown of how little sense Bane's occupation of Gotham makes. Given that they declare a malformed state of martial law, all services are suspended for six months, but somehow the city still has power, the streets are clear of garbage and human poo poo, meaning the terrorist organization has actually managed to establish or at least maintain a legitimate system of municipal services.

My IIMM is that Bruce Wayne, a man deeply, psychologically compelled to destroy himself through the delusion that one can fix Gotham by fighting street crime exclusively, fucks right off to Europe immediately after breaking a 6 month terrorist occupation of the city. Street crime would ABSOLUTELY be at it's worst in a city infamously fraught with crime and recovering from a decimated police force and two different regime changes in 6 months. THAT is the time Bruce decides to hang up the cowl, with no guarantee Robin will choose to replace him?

Inconsistent characterization.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

skooma512 posted:

I think that meeting in Heat was based on a true story. They also were holding out for something big instead of mickey mouse breaking and entering.

He's also white so there's that.

They were literally drilling into the vault containing their target before stopping inexplicably from what I recall. Would not be hard for any DA worth their salt to pin that on them, even if they literally never held it in their hands.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

All these documentaries coming out recently about Russian scandals have been using the backwards "R" from the Cyrillic alphabet to stylize their titles, which I get. It's easy to signify that "some real poo poo about assassinations and illegal annexations is going to happen in this film" by just turning the R around.

But if you actually speak a language that uses Cyrillic it looks stupid as poo poo

Seeing

Icaяus (ick-a-ya-yus)

annoys the hell out of me.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Memento posted:

If you hate that, you should(n't) see the poster for the new HBO show about the Romanovs



Jesus Christ.

Can't wait to see the hit new docuseries about a 20th century Russian royal family who inexplicably all had forced, occasionally disappearing, guttoral accents representing every geographic corner of the former Soviet Union

"Gomapo⅂s" - only on HBO

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

imo the newest Mission Impossible is how one should do modern action right. I loved that movie, and spent almost the entire runtime thoroughly engrossed.

I say almost because despite how nerve-wracking and badass the bathroom fight scene was, I couldn't help thinking that in a night club that large, packed with that many people, that the bathroom would without a doubt be FILLED with dudes the entire time, with some type of security posted outside the door. You would not have enough time or privacy to have a ten-minute gripping fight to the death, smashing toilets and firing off pistols without alerting literally everyone in the club.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

has anyone put the ending to Remember Me to yackety sax yet

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

thespaceinvader posted:

The implication I took was that he was the leader of the last rebellion, which was fomented by his predecessor, and so forth, and the expectation was that... Chris Evans... would immediately cave, return to the rear car missing a limb or two, and choose the leader of the next rebellion, because the whole point was about the cycles of society and how everyone is complicit in them.

As in, whoever leads the rebellion is allowed to come to the front of the train once everyone else is dead, talk to whoever is currently driving, told that their job is to go back and foment the next rebellion because if they don't there will be too many poors and the whole train will crash, and they do, ebcause they don't want the train to crash.

I didn't see it so much being about predestination as being about the roles society forces us to take.

nah the last rebel leader was killed in the previous rebellion where all the bullets went "extinct". Curtis' de facto leadership is a recent development based pretty much entirely on his military prowess. Gilliam is the "spiritual" advisor, a permanent fixture of the tail end.

Totalitarian dictators much prefer negotiating with figureheads than with the mob. Wilford, additionally, is a technocrat, a figure who sees society as a system that has certain release valves that are required to be opened or closed at certain times to prevent pressure from building and maintain balance in the system. Ya know, as opposed to viewing society as a collection of individuals imbued with humanity and meaning and purpose.

In this respect, Wilford saw value in working with a representative of the tail end to more easily implement his Malthusian measures. So yeah, Gilliam likely made a Faustian bargain, under the assumption that in coordinating and building a rapport with Wilford, he could curb some of his more brutal pacification methods. History is filled with pacifist revolutionaries who became Gilliams, not because they were morally weak, but because they were so politically powerless that they saw no other way to ease the suffering of their people.

Gilliam probably never expected Curtis to make it past the water car. Once he saw there was real potential in the success of total revolution, he gave Curtis exactly the advice he needed to hear, and no more. That's my interpretation though, you can read into Gilliam's true motivations however you want.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

The Terminator series is really guilty about this but I see it in other mainstream films all the time. Both points are in regards to something super-powerful relative to normal human anatomy, totally uninhibited, and whose singular goal is to kill a particular target...

...and yet they decide to throw their defenseless target around the room harmlessly, walking slowly to wherever they threw them to do it again when they could easily crush/impale/tear them apart once they have them restrained the first time

...or they have their super-powered/robot hand around the neck of their target, utilizing maybe 1% of its total constriction capacity for reasons? because their normal human target is struggling valiantly instead of instantly being turned into a human tetherball

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

what also comes to mind is brainwashed metal arm guy in the avengers who chokes a bunch of normal people at random points when on a murderous rampage and they all just need a sec to walk it off, instead of ya know having their larynx crushed irreversibly like a candy wrapper

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

bumbling, backward, fundamentalist priest in Calvary is demonstrated going through a big revelation, finally broadening his horizons and adopting new perspectives, by looking up in wonder from The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins during the ending montage

black stain on an otherwise perfect movie

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

ill bite on star wars chat: i just saw a tweet showing how they took a shot of carrie fisher from tlj and gave her a new haircut and clothes to digitally input her into the new movie.

wtf? didn't i read somewhere right after she died that they weren't going to do the postmortem digital bullshit like with tarkin out of respect for her memory? did they think we would just forget? gently caress off

also, how come when i google a movie i always see three ratings on the side of my screen: imdb, rotten tomatoes and roger ebert. dude's been dead for years, how would he rate this movie assholes?? get this black mirror poo poo out of my filmgoing experience thanks

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

NorgLyle posted:

I don't want to defend their ghoulish CGI monstrosities but they basically had to do something. They chose to keep her alive for some reason despite having multiple storyline chances to get rid of her character and apparently nothing to actually do with Leia in terms of affecting the plot at all; now that the actress has died they're left in a situation where the character is still around and logically would be important to the other characters (even if Leia hasn't done anything story relevant in any of the new movies) so they've got to clean up their mess somehow. They're not going to have her die in the opening text crawl.

EDIT: I would have liked to see them use the same people who did Livia Soprano for her, though.

yeah i get that the story requires it. but they also said they wouldn't do that lol

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

Ignoring all of the other valid social commentary of Gattaca: a deadly heart condition is a perfectly acceptable reason not to allow someone on a months/years-long trip through the cosmos

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

There are multiple instances in the film where he is totally incapacitated by his heart condition. Unless it’s psychosomatic, in which case I guess that would kind of reinforce the posters points above, in that the condition “imposed” on him by others leads to him unconsciously limiting his own potential

But nothing in the film really supports it being psychosomatic. Dude just collapses when he works too hard, full stop

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

more like oldheartless

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

the main thing that drives the narrative in the curious case of benjamin button is the reading of the title character's journal as old cate blanchette dies in a hospital bed in new orleans during hurricane katrina.

the journal contains only his very human observations and experiences, with the exception of one segment where young cate blanchette gets hit by a car. then he starts describing all manner of rube goldberg-like phenomena - that he couldn't possibly know about - that led to this unlikely event. nowhere else in the movie showcases ben button exercising godlike omniscient powers of perfect fore- and hindsight.

in an unabashed magical realism movie where a guy is born old and then ages backwards, it was a jarring segment.

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

IUG posted:

The Ancient One literally shows a timeline and it splintering off if they change anything. It's not so much that time can't change, more that if they just removed the Infinity Stones from that timeline, that timeline gets hosed. Removing Thanos from that timeline improves that timeline, and they get their infinity stones back. That's a timeline where Loki gets away at the end of Avengers 1, and no one else dies at the end of Thor 3, and the Infinity War doesn't happen.

they stress over and over in that movie that the stones need to be replaced the instant they're taken once the mission is successful

yet they gloss over the fact that we never see a mjolnir-weilding captain america strolling past the rest of the avengers during their initial time heist to put the stones back as they're being taken the first time.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

God Hole
Mar 2, 2016

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY posted:

It's funny that the fall that cripples Rhodes is no worse than the fall that Tony takes in the first movie.

his flux capacitor stopped working, and tony is marvel elon musk so there was no analog option to turn the impact-reducer widget back on

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply