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For those of you who voted within the first 12 or so hours of the match, you should look at the match post again, as I added the pre match interviews with the involved douches. This is the new feature of the tournament, and could not be done without help from the volunteers I requested earlier. Matches will each last 48 hours, which means this one ends tomorrow night.
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May 23, 2014 23:45
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| # ? May 17, 2024 18:02 |
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Richie Incognito.
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May 24, 2014 21:05
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Richie Incognito, though I'm sure Lewan will have a long, prosperous douche career.
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May 24, 2014 21:15
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Incognito reached peak douche this year. Lewan will probably be skirting vehicular homicide charges or something for years to come.
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May 24, 2014 23:35
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Work ended late and I'm exhausted, so I'll just call it for (1)Richie Incognito now and give you a proper tally and the next match in the morning.
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May 25, 2014 06:07
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I can't wait to give a big ol' effort post on the TPD down the line
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May 25, 2014 07:25
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 By a score of 58-15, (1)Richie Incognito has defeated (8)Taylor Lewan 58-15!Episode 5: Douche it Down the Drain Featuring: (4)Arian Foster vs. (5)Aldon Smith Arian Foster  Kirios posted:As much as it pains me to say it Arian Foster probably deserves to be in this bracket in some way, shape or form for getting a woman pregnant while married and attempting to force her into an abortion. Kirios posted:+5 to Arian Foster because seriously Arian you had the nice hipster vegan image and ruined it all by trying to shove an abortion down a mistress' throat that you knocked up! An interview with the douche in question "Look, I'm just saying that if you disagree with what I did, you are some sort of anti-choice, regressive republican scumbag. Forced? Naw man, it was entirely her choice, hence the phrase pro choice! She knew I made a mistake and didn't want it to affect my game because she cares about the team like that and does not want to further burden my wife with the mistake I made. This was a responsible decision made my responsible adults. Look, the other guy made a bomb threat out of stupidity and dare I say douchebaggery. While I may be closer to being a literal douche because what I did involved a vagina, my being in this tournament is a mistake." VS. Aldon Smith  Homestar Runner posted:
”wikipedia” posted:On September 20, 2013, Smith was involved in a single vehicle accident in San Jose, California. He was subsequently arrested on suspicion of DUI and possession of marijuana. After the week 3 loss to the Indianapolis Colts, he voluntarily entered a rehab facility, to be put onto the non-football injury list with an indefinite leave of absence.[19] And now, and interview with Aldon Smith Interviewer: Aldon, you haven't had the easiest offseason. Have you got anything to say about your legal issues? Aldon: I'm a good person, and the people who know me know I'm a good person. Maybe after this is over, you can tell your friends I’m a good person. Anybody who hangs around me can tell that. A lot of these things are being painted in a picture that’s not true. The 49ers have supported me. As you can see, the option got picked up. And if I was a thug or something, I don’t think they’d take those chances. I: We're just getting reports that you've pleaded no contest to the DUI and weapons charges, and you may still be charged with a false bomb threat. A: I did nothing wrong! You're embarrassed. You're gonna be embarrassed. If you would take a second, take the little sticks out of your head, clean out your ears, and maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings, and all I have to do is do what I wanna do and all I wanted to do was hold on to my bag and not listen to them! What's wrong with saying "bomb" in an airport? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. You gonna arrest me? Bomb bomb bomb bomb! Will Arian be able to douche this match in the womb? Or will Aldon smith be able to channel late 90s douches and become "da bomb"? Only one way to find out! 3... 2... 1... DOUCHE! Ben Has Tiny Weenus fucked around with this message at 16:50 on May 25, 2014 |
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May 25, 2014 16:15
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I will place my vote for Aldon Smith for consistent douchery and that hair.
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May 25, 2014 16:18
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Arian Foster. Aldon Smith's douchebaggery only hurts himself.
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May 25, 2014 16:23
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Aldon Smith.
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May 25, 2014 16:25
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Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:I will place my vote for Aldon Smith for consistent douchery and that hair. Yup Aldon Smith as well, since as far as I know there wasn't anything final about the Arian Foster story anyway, just allegations and pending lawsuits.
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May 25, 2014 16:35
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I have no idea about the veracity of the Foster stuff, and that attempted scam / guaranteed failure athlete stock thing was very funny, so Aldon Smith
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May 25, 2014 16:39
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This would be a lot closer of a debate in my mind, but I read this yesterday ( http://grantland.com/the-triangle/arian-foster-wants-to-free-the-cats/ ) and it made me laugh too much, so I vote for Aldon Smith
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May 25, 2014 16:46
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Arian Foster  Aldon gets a free pass on three more gun incidents, so long as no one gets shot, because of gifs like that.
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May 25, 2014 17:38
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Alter Ego posted:Arian Foster. Aldon Smith's douchebaggery only hurts himself. DUI's run a very very very high risk of not just hurting the person driving. Aldon Smith for consistently being a douche and inexplicably having a shitload of "last chances." EDIT: Douche4Sale posted:This would be a lot closer of a debate in my mind, but I read this yesterday ( http://grantland.com/the-triangle/arian-foster-wants-to-free-the-cats/ ) and it made me laugh too much, so I vote for Aldon Smith Holy poo poo this is amazing. This is Foster getting in arguments on twitter with cat people. Him trolling cat people is probably my favorite thing he has ever done. Hot Diggity! fucked around with this message at 19:36 on May 25, 2014 |
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May 25, 2014 19:15
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Alter Ego posted:Arian Foster. Aldon Smith's douchebaggery only hurts himself. Getting hammered and shooting guns at a party that took place in a well populated city is risking the lives of others because you don't give a poo poo. Getting hammered and driving a vehicle is risking the lives of others because you don't give a poo poo. Aldon Smith is a huge douche who is incapable of considering how his actions could harm others and because of this he has repeatedly done incredibly stupid and selfish acts and if he continues behaving in this manner it is only a matter of time before he kills or maims someone who isn't a quarterback.
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May 25, 2014 19:17
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To me Aldon Smith falls under Hanlon's razor more than he does douchebaggery although he does at least deserve to get the nomination to the tournament. Arian Foster seems a bit more intelligent than Aldon so I think he's just kind of a dick in comparison.
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May 25, 2014 19:24
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Aldon Smith because gently caress the 49ers.
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May 25, 2014 19:33
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Lee Harvey Oswald posted:Aldon Smith because gently caress the 49ers. This is what a 5 point post looks like, people.
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May 25, 2014 19:39
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Arian Foster *might* be listed prematurely: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/arian-foster-baby-mama-star-houston-texan-harassed-article-1.1586225 http://www.tmz.com/2014/01/20/arian-foster-audio-phone-call-brittany-norwood-abortion-lawsuit/ Voting for Aldon Smith due to sheer dumbassery
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May 25, 2014 20:08
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Chichevache posted:This is what a 5 point post looks like, people. The 49ers were my favorite team until they let Anthony Dixon go, so possibly. This means I now have to cheer for the Bills 
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May 25, 2014 20:16
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Arian Foster isn't guilty of anything except trying to protect the gene pool from his football addled DNA. Aldon Smith is however not guilty of killing someone purely for the simple fact that he ended up driving his dumb rear end into a tree instead of a person by sheer luck. What a douche.
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May 25, 2014 20:33
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Aldon Smith. He's so stupid it's almost offensive.
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May 25, 2014 20:51
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Aldon Smith
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May 25, 2014 20:53
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Aldon Smith because the allegations against Foster haven't even been proven. Also, the cat people Twitter battle is awesome. Also also, drunk driving is stupid.
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May 25, 2014 21:47
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Aldon Smith, for contributing to the 12th Man's unwarranted sense of superiority.
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May 25, 2014 21:49
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 A  L  D  O  N  SMITH
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May 25, 2014 22:02
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Aldon Smith is a huge dumbass and the 49ers are buttheads.
Schwack fucked around with this message at 22:41 on May 25, 2014 |
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May 25, 2014 22:37
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Aldon Smith because he's on what his fifth last chance?
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May 25, 2014 22:39
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weak matchup smith
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May 25, 2014 22:55
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I didn't really have much of a horse in this race but that hair just sold me. At least Foster is fashionable. Aldon Smith To add in some effort, I think Arian Foster's single incident is douchier than anything Smith did, but it was just one incident. Aldon Smith has done a ton of stupid stuff in the last year and shows no signs of slowing down. In this case, I think it's right to vote for the historical consistent douche as opposed to a guy who made one very douchey move.
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May 25, 2014 23:40
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I've got to vote for Aldon Smith now. 
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May 26, 2014 01:31
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SlipUp posted:weak matchup smith Yeah, this. Aldon Smith, go Tigers.
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May 26, 2014 01:44
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I'll go against the grain here and vote for Arian Foster if only because his douchey activity is not as common in the NFL as Aldon's is. Tendentious reasoning, I know, but I call em like I see em.
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May 26, 2014 03:05
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Was the Foster thing ever confirmed outside of heresy? I don't recall reading any stories about it and this forum is pretty much the only place I've heard of it.
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May 26, 2014 03:24
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Benne posted:Was the Foster thing ever confirmed outside of heresy? I don't recall reading any stories about it and this forum is pretty much the only place I've heard of it. If it wasn't confirmed, then he is this year's Tony Dungy.
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May 26, 2014 03:27
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Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:If it wasn't confirmed, then he is this year's Tony Dungy. To be fair the tournament is named after a guy where nothing was "confirmed". Same with lots of entrants this year like Winston.
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May 26, 2014 03:30
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swickles posted:To be fair the tournament is named after a guy where nothing was "confirmed". Same with lots of entrants this year like Winston. He definitely stole those crab legs though! There is video evidence! The difference is that with Winston and Roethlisberger, there are complaining witnesses that were either bought off or completely ignored by the cops. With the Dungy thing it was an Internet rumor. With Foster, I'll admit I did no research and don't know the veracity of the rumor.
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May 26, 2014 03:39
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It's not so much a rumor as it is 100% based off her court pleadings, which the TMZ recordings throw into serious doubt. As far as I know, it's pure he-said she-said with no real independent evidence either way, unlike Ray Rice's video or Winston's DNA/witnesses. Hence I'll go for Smith whose douchery is amply confirmed and puts innocent lives at risk.
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May 26, 2014 03:45
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| # ? May 17, 2024 18:02 |
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Aldon Smith What a douche. Regarding his interview replies, "Aldon, who the gently caress do you think you are?" I know, I know, he's Aldon Smith, right? But, guess what? No one working a lovely, dead-end TSA job gives a gently caress who millionaire football star Aldon Smith is, unless they happen to be a Niners fan. Stardom entitlement on display. Benne posted:Was the Foster thing ever confirmed outside of heresy? I don't recall reading any stories about it and this forum is pretty much the only place I've heard of it. I've read stories containing interviews with the mistress where she flat out says that Foster never tried to force her to have an abortion. The grounds for the lawsuit are at best confusing and at worst frivolous. "He asked me to get an abortion" somehow gets turned into "he tried to force me to get an abortion." Maybe we can speculate about pay-offs to tank the case, so as to avoid bad press... or this is all a huge blackmail attempt to get a check, but I'm not really at a point in my life where I can admit I give a poo poo about a man asking his mistress to get an abortion. Aldon Smith isn't going to win the Gold, but he's a bigger douche than Arian Foster. Chilichimp fucked around with this message at 04:33 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 04:22
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