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I think I learned something. Thanks Oxx!
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May 11, 2014 20:34
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Occupation posted:[*] Ryan: "Carbon gases cause climate change. The ice caps are melting, the polar bears are drowning..." Mike: "Well maybe those fat cracker bears should learn how to swim." UGH. loving what 
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May 11, 2014 20:38
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"Fat cracker bears" - words apparently actually uttered on a network sitcom.
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May 11, 2014 20:49
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Occ, if you ever want a break from this... whatever the gently caress this is, go watch Short Term 12, which is 90 minutes of proof that, separate from this black hole of comedy, Kaitlyn Dever is actually a fantastic young actress. Also, movie owns and will wash the awful off of you. (you all should watch it, it's on netflix, gogogo)
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May 11, 2014 21:45
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Yoshifan823 posted:Occ, if you ever want a break from this... whatever the gently caress this is, go watch Short Term 12, which is 90 minutes of proof that, separate from this black hole of comedy, Kaitlyn Dever is actually a fantastic young actress. I think someone mentioned this earlier in the thread but she's also very good in a recurring role on Justified.
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May 11, 2014 22:45
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Mods change my name to FAT CRACKER BEAR tia
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May 12, 2014 00:00
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Mother Fracker won an award in the category Television Episodic Comedy from the Environmental Media Awards.
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May 12, 2014 01:14
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ThePlague-Daemon posted:Mother Fracker won an award in the category Television Episodic Comedy from the Environmental Media Awards. The EMA's are a pretty blatant conscience laundering scheme for the entertainment industry, so this is not a surprise.
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May 12, 2014 01:22
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Last Man Standing "Circle of Life" Season 2, Episode 6 I watch every single episode of this show not once, but twice. I watch it once, cold, sometimes taking notes on what I want to focus on for the review. I watch it a second time for two reasons: 1) So I don't miss any nuance and draw any incorrect conclusions about the episode (i.e. review it as fairly as possible), and 2) to track down quotes I'll use in the review. I say this not to gain any sympathy- okay, that's a lie, I would like a little sympathy for the effort I put in -but because I want people to understand what I mean when I say that I cannot stand this show. I despised this episode in one viewing, a viewing I had to stop multiple times just to stomach through the aggressively, maliciously idiotic nonsense spilling out of my screen. Then I watched it again, and I can confirm- this show is loving awful. This episode was centered around Boyd. I have a theory: The episodes centered around Boyd, and around parenting in general, are the worst because that means Mike is at his most whiny and caustic. Since the thesis of the show is presenting how Mike believes America is losing its masculinity, this frustration is most evident when Boyd is onscreen; Mike believes that Boyd is his only hope for a tougher, manlier America so spends all of his time attempting to "teach" (read: brainwash) Boyd his particular conservative politics. But having Mike just tell Boyd empty jingoistic and xenophobic truisms would make a 2010s version of Leave it to Beaver. A show, especially a sitcom, thrives on conflict to create humor and to drive a story forward. So the writers felt the need to write a character who is at odds with Mike. But since Mike is the protagonist, and is played by one of the executive producers of this show, and is the main draw, we don't get a Meathead to Tim Allen's Archie; instead, we get a gross, exaggerated parody of a liberal, Ryan, fighting a gross, exaggerated parody of a conservative, Mike. Nobody is sympathetic and everyone is a complete and utter douche to each other constantly, with no room for empathy or any sort of cross-ideological understanding allowed. This is most blatant in this episode. Mike returns hunting, and Ryan, who as we now learn is a vegan (of course), is absolutely disgusted by Mike's admittedly kind of disturbing, almost homicidal glee in having killed some ducks. Kristen asks Mike to put the ducks away, because she doesn't want Boyd to see them and make the mental connection between ducks and meat, which is apparently one of only two foods he eats. Mike insists that Boyd- who is a loving five-year-old -should be made aware of where meat comes from, and surprisingly Ryan agrees: He wants Boyd to turn vegan, and thinks this is the perfect way to convince his loving five-year-old son to stop eating meat. Notice how Boyd becomes a political football between these two psychotics, Mike and Ryan, to push their horrible worldviews. The only thing as bad as showing a five-year-old a loving dead duck to "man him up" is showing a five-year-old a loving dead duck so they change over to your dietary habits. It's mind boggling how reprehensible these two characters are. Amazingly this strategy backfires on Ryan, and Boyd seems to shrug off learning where bacon, steak, and hot dogs (which Ryan rudely characterizes as "lips, eyelids and intestines"- it's incredible that they make him look less mature than the toddler in the same scene with him) come from- until dinner, where Ryan- and I am not making any part of this up, I swear to loving god -loudly quacks to intentionally freak his own kid out and make Boyd stop eating. What the gently caress. Boyd eventually goes to be consoled by Mike, who makes a right hash of it by explaining how they're going to eventually die and be eaten by worms. (Boyd's been having a tough week, life-revelations wise. I fully expect Mike to teach him how sex works next week by fondling him in the bathroom. REAL MEN don't talk about molestation!) But don't worry, Mike assures the next night-everyone eventually ends up in heaven. Of course, Ryan has a problem with Boyd being taught about heaven, or as Ryan characterizes it a "fairy tale", because see Ryan and Kristen are raising Boyd without religion. This of course dovetails into another argument where Ryan is the shitthatdidnthappen.txt of atheists, loudly blustering about how all religion is fake and makes no sense before the bon mot from Vanessa, the enlightened, religious scientist (so you know she's impartial). I half-expected a marine with two tours in Iraq to burst into the scene at this point and uppercut Ryan through the roof as he powerfucks Kristen on the stairs, Mike looking on as an eagle shrieks in the background, a lone, patriotic tear falling from his face, as the crowd bursts into rapturous applause. As an actual atheist I was offended by their characterization of atheists, of course, but also by the seeming disregard Mike had for Boyd's parents' wishes. If Ryan had come to Mike and said, "Hey Mike, I know you're trying to comfort my son about mortality and I really appreciate it but in the future could you please not tell him about heaven? We're trying to raise him sans religion, and give him the opportunity to seek whatever God or gods or lack of god that spiritually fulfills him." I know such a speech isn't funny but the alternative wasn't either, so why not go for the nuanced opinion more reflective of today's modern atheist? Anyways the endless vegan bashing, religion bashing, and Reagan worship (Mike literally tells Boyd a bedtime story about the "Great King Reagan, who slayed the Peanut Farmer") made this episode an intolerable, intolerant mess from start to finish. The mistreatment and outright abuse of a loving five-year-old to further an ideological point, from both sides of the fence, was goddamn repulsive, and Mike and Ryan are nearly sociopathic in the way they treat and manipulate other people to win a silly argument. This episode didn't even make me mad. I'm just depressed. That people think that people like me talk like this. That I, one of those gosh-darned liberals would look at the poo poo Ryan is saying and go "Yeah you really stick it to those loving Republican douchebags! gently caress your kid up! Yeah!" It just bums me out. I like liking people, I like respecting people. I like interacting and being polite with people even when I find their views morally repellent. I'm not like this at all and it depresses me that a network TV show thinks I am. Can I please stop watching this show now. Grade: F Random Thoughts:
NieR Occomata fucked around with this message at 02:02 on May 12, 2014 |
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May 12, 2014 01:50
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Occupation posted:
First order of business once you are done this season is to find a way to get you toxxed into watching the rest of the show.
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May 12, 2014 01:59
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You are a much stronger man than I, Occ.
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May 12, 2014 02:01
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have you seen last man standing, yoshifan
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May 12, 2014 02:07
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Occ, buddy, I haven't always been super nice to you, but dude, thanks for enduring this for us. I don't think I could.
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May 12, 2014 02:10
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Occupation posted:Last Man Standing This poo poo struck one of my nerves. There are plenty of theistic scientists, hell I'm one of them, but this is boilerplate "God of the Gaps" nonsense that only creationists state unironically. gently caress everything and especially Tim Allen.
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May 12, 2014 02:12
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I thought it was neat to pick out that what both of them were doing was fundamentally terrible - namely, using the kid's development as a proxy to bicker with each other - but that apparently the show had no problem with that, so long as the right side of the argument wins in the end (Mike's). Also strawman vegan-atheist-liberals in conservative comedy are terrible.
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May 12, 2014 02:15
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Occupation posted:have you seen last man standing, yoshifan I watched a few episodes of the first season out of curiosity, but it was p bad.
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May 12, 2014 02:24
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Occupation posted:have you seen last man standing, yoshifan I've seen Last Man Standing, and I know your pain. My parents watch it  I don't know why. They don't even laugh. They just...watch it, as if long ago they agreed to watch every Tim Allen vehicle, to hell with the cost!
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May 12, 2014 02:51
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Occupation posted:
As somebody who has watched all of season two and three (and loving every last word of your reviews), whatever you do don't watch season three if you want to keep that opinion. While I can't justify watching this show, it is pretty exciting knowing ahead of time which scene occ is going to fail the toxx
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May 12, 2014 02:56
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^^^ My curiosity has never been more piqued. I am so excited.
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May 12, 2014 03:02
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Cyks posted:As somebody who has watched all of season two and three 
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May 12, 2014 03:02
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My spoiler loving nature made me look up what happens in the rest of season 2/3. I'm so happy right now. We get to watch Occ's descent into hell, which is apparently a lovely conservative version of All in the Family.
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May 12, 2014 03:11
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Cyks posted:As somebody who has watched all of season two and three (and loving every last word of your reviews), whatever you do don't watch season three if you want to keep that opinion. Rest assured that my unrelenting mental and emotional abuse will spur him ever onward.
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May 12, 2014 03:12
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I don't know what happens next, but we're all winners no matter the outcome. Except Occupation. 
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May 12, 2014 03:16
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Oxxidation posted:Rest assured that my unrelenting mental and emotional abuse will spur him ever onward. You're a bad person
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May 12, 2014 03:16
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Occupation posted:You're a bad person If you don't watch season 3 then how can we laugh about your pain? Think about that, mr selfish.
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May 12, 2014 03:30
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I just happened upon this thread. I'm amazed with your tenacity. Weaker men and women would have just taken the ban after the first episode. Godspeed, Occupation. Jesus Christ, this show sounds awful. I don't need Tim Allen to shove his conservative chauvinistic beliefs down my throat. 
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May 12, 2014 03:46
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I just found out Tim Allen's real name is Tim Dick
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May 12, 2014 04:34
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That DICK! posted:I just found out Tim Allen's real name is Tim Dick Of course you did.
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May 12, 2014 04:42
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Just discovered this thread and WOW, my parents watch this. I bet there are episodes of this sitting on our DVR right loving now. I actually use to watch Home Improvement a lot as a kid and was kind of curious as to how this was, glad I dodged that bullet. Thank you Occupation, you are doing the Lord's work. Edit: I also watched The Drew Carey Show when It was on. And Starship Troopers...wow I was into a lot of conservative media back then. BigRed0427 fucked around with this message at 05:24 on May 12, 2014 |
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May 12, 2014 05:11
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Something horrible is going to come of this thread, I can feel it in my bones. This show is going to break Occupation's brain, or lead him to some divine revelation that spawns a religious movement that will sweep violently across the globe, destroying every instrument of television production it can lay hands upon.
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May 12, 2014 06:05
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Last Man Standing "Putting a Hit on Christmas" Season 2, Episode 7 It's the Christmas episode. Also it's really good. Like an actually genuinely good episode of television. And not in the way that "High Expectations" was good, in that it was an episode that tried to be deep and have a greater message. This episode was just funny. You know, funny. Something Last Man Standing is usually wholly unfamiliar with. The episode kicks off with Kristen and Ryan coming through the door, arguing. Apparently Ryan wants to bring Boyd up to his parents' house for Christmas. Which is in Canada. Of course. Kristen is upset with this development and forbids Ryan from taking Boyd. Mike agrees, and some obvious Canadian bashing occurs, and right here is when I got nervous that the conflict of the episode was going to be about Ryan wanting to take Boyd to meet his parents, who have apparently somehow never met Boyd. Luckily the episode didn't go for the obvious Canadian slams with a side of anti-atheism the show adores pulling but instead segues this into a more generic (anti-)Christmas story. Mike is at a loss of what to get Vanessa for Christmas. He asks Ed what he should get her, and...you know what, I'm just gonna quote the entire exchange because it's genuinely hilarious: Ed: "You have a dog right? Muffin? Vanessa loves this dog? Good. Go home, kidnap the dog. Just hide it somewhere. Now this is important- write down where you hid it. Vanessa's gonna think it's lost! She's distraught, she's puts up signs all over the neighborhood. At the right time, you find Muffin. You wrap a big red bow around his neck, it's a Christmas miracle. You're a hero." Mike: "Please God don't tell me you've done this before." Ed: "My only mistake was doing it twice with the same wife." Apparently Vanessa has no desire to host a big Christmas holiday and wishes that she could somehow skip Christmas entirely, instead having a nice, quiet holiday alone with Mike. Mike promises her to get rid of the kids for the holiday, via various methods- convince Kristen to go up to the Great White North, pay off Eve, etc. -and each scene is genuinely amusing, especially the scenes where Mike has to bribe/is coerced by Eve. The reason this episode works so well is is it's the least, well, Last Man Standing-y. Each previous episode this season has been about presenting a viewpoint, usually a regressive one. Further, each episode implies that you're supposed to be rooting for someone, usually Mike, as the moral agent. So it's all the more offensive and terrible when the people are just completely awful human beings as the entire show feels like disingenuous, underhanded garbage. This episode has none of that. The feel of this episode is like an episode of Seinfeld or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, where it's just terrible people abusing and manipulating each other. This is most evidently seen in the B-plot of the episode: Ed loving shoots a bald loving eagle then has to drive out and bury it before he's fined. That's awful! That's a hilariously, terribly awful thing to do. In a Christmas episode even! Mike and Jenny are just as bad, by manipulating others, especially their children, so they don't have to see their miserable faces. The whole episode just works when it drops the pretension and presents these people as horrible messes of human beings manipulating each other, and the writing is uncharacteristically sharp and taut. And the ending! So it turns out that, after succeeding at manipulating and coercing everyone out of the house, Vanessa watches Boyd turn a musical snowglobe which plays her favorite Christmas song. Predictably she breaks down into a weepy mess, rushes back to Mike, and begs him to bring the kids back, which he of course magically does. The episode is almost ruined by the forced sentimentality, until it's revealed in the credits teaser that he had predicted all along that she would do this, and planted the snowglobe on Boyd in the first place. He "stole the dog" away- except they were his kids -knew Vanessa would waffle, then brought the kids back. The plot has a well-done circular logic to it, and is a great subversion of the sentimental ending by revealing how much of a Machiavellian rear end in a top hat Mike is. It's incredible. This is an incredible episode of television. Grade: A Random Thoughts:
NieR Occomata fucked around with this message at 07:44 on May 12, 2014 |
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May 12, 2014 07:32
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It's almost troubling to know this show has the ability to be legitimately funny but instead does...This.
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May 12, 2014 08:07
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Occupation posted:Grade: A]  This thread is the goddamn best.
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May 12, 2014 09:36
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Occupation posted:This episode has none of that. The feel of this episode is like an episode of Seinfeld or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, where it's just terrible people abusing and manipulating each other. This is most evidently seen in the B-plot of the episode: Ed loving shoots a bald loving eagle then has to drive out and bury it before he's fined. That's awful! That's a hilariously, terribly awful thing to do. In a Christmas episode even! Mike and Jenny are just as bad, by manipulating others, especially their children, so they don't have to see their miserable faces. The whole episode just works when it drops the pretension and presents these people as horrible messes of human beings manipulating each other, and the writing is uncharacteristically sharp and taut. I almost want to watch this now 
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May 12, 2014 10:23
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Zaggitz posted:First order of business once you are done this season is to find a way to get you toxxed into watching the rest of the show. Okay I think I worked out a solution that gets you sadists what you clearly want So I'm gonna finish this godawful season of Last Man Standing. And I will, at Deadpool's request, review the first four episodes of season 3 to fulfill the original spirit of the toxx agreement. So yeah you're getting that guaranteed If Deadpool is willing, if he'll name/av change me to fulfill the second part of my toxx (I have to get an insulting name/av of SHUPS' choice) I'll do the rest of season 3, at the same standard I'm doing now-long form recap/reviews. I'm kind of broke and don't really have the spare 15bux right now, but want to honor my agreement so I think this is a fair trade SHUPS 4 DETH posted:Oh, no, no! My friend is gonna kill you. SHUPS 4 DETH posted:btw your new username is E PLURIBUS ANUS I just want to point out: I'm still getting a raw deal out of this since the avatar and name are meant to be insulting.
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May 12, 2014 16:10
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So Tim Allen plays like three people on this show right, he's both Mike and Ed?
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May 12, 2014 16:16
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HOLY poo poo 208 OF LAST MAN STANDING MAKES A JOKE ABOUT HOW THE WORD "friend of the family" ISN'T ACTUALLY HURTFUL ! ! !
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May 12, 2014 16:26
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Was home improvement this bad or was I just young and didn't notice?
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May 12, 2014 16:34
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Occupation posted:HOLY poo poo 208 OF LAST MAN STANDING MAKES A JOKE ABOUT HOW THE WORD "friend of the family" ISN'T ACTUALLY HURTFUL Is the rationale "black people use it, which means it can't be that bad, which means I can use it?" Because that's my favorite reason for why everyone should be able to say it without offending anyone
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May 12, 2014 16:35
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Women's Rights? posted:Is the rationale "black people use it, which means it can't be that bad, which means I can use it?" Because that's my favorite reason for why everyone should be able to say it without offending anyone No, it's that words aren't hurtful
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May 12, 2014 16:37
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