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IRQ posted:I'm down for some collective trauma. Is season 3 on netflix? Only Hulu
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May 27, 2014 22:22
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Jesus, Occupation, I really feel for you here. This sounds aggressively painful, especially because it seems every third or fourth episode is decent, building up a false hope that the show then brutally crushes. I'm not surprised it's doing well in the ratings, or really dispirited by that. Conservatives draw like moths to lanterns to shows that validate their beliefs. Not surprised it's so inconsistent, either. The average angry conservative dad is not particularly ideologically consistent, and also probably a huge jerk who has to be taught constant lessons on how to treat people decently. So, uh, I guess in that sense Allen's character is true to life. But that doesn't sound funny, it just sounds disturbing. It bothers me for the same reason The Big Bang Theory bothers me, that is that the main character is a cruel, malicious, insufferable dick who forces reality to bend to their will by sheer force of constant whining. Protip for mods: if Occupation ever does another dumb tox, make him review The Secret Life of the American Teenager. 
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May 27, 2014 22:22
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Spatula City posted:The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Already saw the first two seasons
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May 27, 2014 22:23
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Alright, sounds interesting.
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May 27, 2014 23:34
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Sure, what the hell?
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May 28, 2014 00:23
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I'll try and be there. Someone hit me up on IM if I forget.
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May 28, 2014 14:28
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So I took a quick peek at that episode and holy poo poo, I'm in. I saw a scene with Kyle sitting in a canoe and it was one of the most painfully awkward things I've ever seen in a sitcom. I can't even believe this is a real show on network television.
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May 28, 2014 19:13
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Hey yo just a reminder in thirty minutes we're doin a livewatch of 301 of Last Man Standing, one of the bestworst things I've ever seen Here's the link to irc: http://client00.chat.mibbit.com/?channel=%23satviv&server=irc.synirc.net
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May 29, 2014 00:30
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Last Man Standing "Back to School" Season 3, Episode 1 This show is loving incredible. Everything about it is so terrible, so wretched, so actively bad in every conceivable (and several previously not conceived of) way that I kind of wonder if the entire production team involved in the making of this episode of television was actually in on the joke. I doubt it, because the entire episode from its very beginning to its absolutely wretched, self-parodying end comes across as sincere, which makes it all the better. This is absolutely rapturous so-bad-it's-amazing programming and I strongly recommend everyone watch it, since it's an inverse bell curve of quality. As the episode progresses you get more and more irritated until near the middle, where it bursts through the lower bounds of tolerability and becomes a laugh riot for every second as it continually tops itself in lunacy. This-this-this is fantastic television, for all of the wrong reasons. The premiere of season 3 opens to Boyd visiting the Baxters' home. Seems like Kristin moving out of the house is a permanent development in the show, as Mike is overjoyed to see his grandson. He is less overjoyed, however, that Boyd is speaking Spanish, and downright livid that it turns out that Boyd's school, Woodrow Wilson Elementary, has been teaching- gasp! -bilingual education. You see, WW Elementary is a "multicultural" school, with all the attendant dogwhistle racist stereotypes for schools of that type- overcrowded, bad and swamped teachers, uncaring parents, metal detectors and guards, and a high rate of violence and various other criminal activities. Kristin and Ryan are both poor, and live in a poor neighborhood (which explains why Boyd is going there in the first place), but are also both adamant that Boyd receive an education that expands them out of the traditional white-flight bubble. This is an admirable goal, and the moment really lands if you had any prior knowledge of how Kristin and Ryan acted as characters. Mike, however, is upset by this. To that end he goes to Kristin's and Ryan's new apartment and offers to host Boyd at his house, or at least let Kristin and Ryan use the Baxters' home as the address of record to register Boyd for the much nicer, much whiter Clark Elementary. Kristin loses it, calls Mike "toxic", and orders him to leave, but Ryan and Kristin quickly have an argument where Ryan argues that the only reason Kristin is arguing in the first place is because she has a predilection to disagree with Mike over anything. Kristin realizes that she was in the "wrong", then apologizes to Mike and assures him that they'll be sending Boyd to Clark from now on. There's so many problems with this plot, viewed objectively, that it's kind of insane. It completely and utterly sells out all of Kristin's, and especially Ryan's (who was at least ostensibly principled in season 2) character. Mike learns nothing and gets everything he wanted without so much as a sorry, and Kristin's accusations- that Mike is doing this only to see Boyd more often, not out of any real concern for his educational standards -are proven true not ten minutes previously in the episode. Plus, Mike is totally a toxic person- he spent the entirety of season 2 trying to either brainwash Boyd or use Boyd as a political football in his arguments with Ryan! Are we supposed to pretend that season 2 just didn't happen, or what?! But it doesn't matter because in execution the entire main plot reads like an insane parody. Characters acquire and lose character traits and motivations at the drop of a hat- for instance, after going on and on about being part of the solution and not the problem, Ryan instaneously flips onto Mike's side within literal seconds. Mike can't seem to decide whether he wants to see his grandson or insult minorities more, so compromises by insulting Ryan, even though Ryan spends the entire time agreeing with him. There's a vlog from Mike in the middle of the episode that champions assimilation into the "melting pot" of America that reads like some Big Brother-ish screed championing conformity. Every single part of this plot is ill-advised and nonsensical, like some sort of conservative version of Alice in Wonderland, and by the middle of the episode you stop being mad and start laughing at how ludicrous it all is. Nothing puts a finer point on this insanity more than the B-plot, involving Kyle learning about philosophy. See, Mandy has been taking philosophy classes at college and posing some tough philosophical quandries to Kyle. This means he spends the majority of the episode pondering the meaning of life and other existential issues at Outdoor Man. How is this storyline resolved? With the Duck Dynasty guys, of course! In some out of loving nowhere stunt casting, the Duck Dynasty guys- who I will refer to as Beardy and Oldy because gently caress looking up their names -show up in the premiere as a pair of hapless hunters who frequently buy from Mike every hunting season. The horribleness of their lines is only rivaled by their godawful acting as they stumble their way through every scene attempting to pop off the C-list zingers about Kyle's stupidity that the writing team shat out in the space of several seconds. Every part of this stunt casting is completely horrid, until the final scene of the B-plot, where Kyle is inexplicably sitting in a canoe, nihilistically decrying the pointlessness of life itself. To which Beardy regales him of the wonders of Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior, which instantly perks Kyle right back up and he goes back to work. This scene is so hackneyed, so completely and utterly cheesy, and such a hard left turn from the progression of the plot I could do nothing but laugh. The resolution makes no sense! The show has devolved into a parody of itself, much like the Chick Tracts the internet used to insult, where some sort of weighty, nebulously bad issue could just be instantly resolved by some Aryan saint espousing the virtues of Christianity that all anyone with any sort of logic or common sense would just laugh at how inept it all is. The cherry on top of this ludicrous sundae of an episode is the final scene of the episode; a straightfaced, literal prayer. No jokes, just a random prayer at the end. It's completely atrocious and hilariously terrible and I love it. I love this episode, I love this show, it has become so bad it's eaten its own tail, an ouroboros of comedy. When did this show become a treatise on how great being a Christian is? Why is it like that? What purpose does the moral lesson serve? Who cares, I'm invested in this show forever. Forever. Grade: A Random Thoughts:
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May 29, 2014 01:25
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Jesus is pretty awesome.
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May 29, 2014 01:29
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Zaggitz posted:Jesus is pretty awesome.
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May 29, 2014 01:30
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Josh Lyman posted:I can't wait for the Stockholm syndrome to kick in. Daedo posted:It's started already! We'll be getting A grades by episode 10.
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May 29, 2014 01:38
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Well, we broke him.
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May 29, 2014 01:41
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If I were a Christian I'd be embarrassed by association.
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May 29, 2014 02:06
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Occupation says this wasn't even the most racist episode of this shitshow, I may or may not watch the highlights of racism he has recommended. e: I should add, this episode was REALLY REALLY RACIST
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May 29, 2014 02:08
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I watched along with the group. I want to reiterate, that the prayer at the end of the dinner, and really, most of the Jesus stuff presented in this episode is about accepting your neighbor, no matter who he may be. This in no way conflicts with Mike hating the (e:Mostly Latino)children at the school, hating immigrants who "refuse to assimilate", and hating Ryan, token LIEBERAL. E:Also, re:Boyd. Boyd was in this episode for probably a grand total of 3 minutes. His lines are only those he spoke in the opening. He is literally a prop for this episode; not a character, a prop.
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May 29, 2014 02:08
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I forget, has Mike ever called Obama a Muslim? Don't spoil me if it happens this season, I want to be surprised.
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May 29, 2014 02:11
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Maxwell Lord posted:Well, we broke him. I like how you say "we" instead of "the show".
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May 29, 2014 02:12
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Boyd had a chance to actually be multilingual from a young age and they ripped that away from him. hosed up.
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May 29, 2014 02:12
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Regy Rusty posted:Boyd had a chance to actually be multilingual from a young age and they ripped that away from him. hosed up. "We have an opportunity to get our son to learn two languages? gently caress that noise!"
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May 29, 2014 02:14
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I missed the live watch but watched it anyway. A Plot: Get away from your bad neighbors (who are bad because they have guns) even if you have to lie. B Plot: Love thy neighbor and guns are great. What in the ever-loving gently caress? This show is like the incarnation of every rightwing talking point: Make a bee-line for an actual legitimate concern and at the last second; hard right and drive off a cliff.
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May 29, 2014 02:17
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Slamhound posted:I missed the live watch but watched it anyway. Well the people in the A-story have guns and are
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May 29, 2014 02:19
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Also, massive props on getting the Melting Pot/Stew metaphor exactly wrong in every possible way.
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May 29, 2014 02:28
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Man, my dad would love this show. I don't post in TVIV outside much, but I just want to say, I'm loving these reviews.
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May 29, 2014 02:38
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I'm in the IRC chat and just loving it.
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May 29, 2014 03:43
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SoroScrew
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America is literally the only country on Earth where people get genuinely offended by foreign language requirements and downright hostile to teaching Spanish in elementary schools.
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May 29, 2014 06:24
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pentyne posted:America is literally the only country on Earth where people get genuinely offended by foreign language requirements and downright hostile to teaching Spanish in elementary schools. Not even close. We're just especially stupid about it since there is no official language in the US and its not as though we've done this exact same song and dance literally half a dozen times before as a nation. I'll preemptively apologize if that was something from this episode because I tried watching this show and I couldn't make it through the first couple of minutes because its a nonstop string of factually incorrect and un-american thoughts.
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May 29, 2014 06:30
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pentyne posted:America is literally the only country on Earth where people get genuinely offended by foreign language requirements and downright hostile to teaching Spanish in elementary schools. Barudak posted:Not even close. We're just especially stupid about it since there is no official language in the US and its not as though we've done this exact same song and dance literally half a dozen times before as a nation. Linguistics major here  Outside of ethnic/niche-educated communities, it is a VERY common (mis)conception that bi/multilingualism can be detrimental. I'm sure there's a xenophobic element to it, but there are many who believe that learning a second language at a young age can hamper development of the first, as though linguistic acquisition is some kind of zero-sum game. You think that's bad? In Korea, parents have mutilative tongue surgery performed on toddlers. As in, they snip a bit of the connective tissue under the tongue to make it easier for their kids to pronounce English. It's kind of the opposite problem, but it's still terrible. Anyway, I don't think the stupidity comes from the USA not having an official language. That's another point that many, many Americans are not aware of. I think it comes from our geographic isolation, compounded by our huge population and English's continued use as a global lingua franca. There simply isn't the need, as there is in Europe and Asia, for us to speak another language. Everybody else seems able to speak English for us. The good news is, even just within my (short-ish) adulthood, that's been changing a lot. My middle school, which previously only offered French, now offers Spanish as well. I've also volunteered at a few elementary schools that are hitting their mostly-white student population with Mandarin Chinese. So, it's not ALL bad.
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May 29, 2014 10:22
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Not THAT toy world! WOMP WOMP this is balls
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May 29, 2014 10:37
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Propaganda Machine posted:Anyway, I don't think the stupidity comes from the USA not having an official language. That's another point that many, many Americans are not aware of. Actually, no, that's not a point because nobody is arguing it. In the episode, Tim believes Spanish language instruction in schools is being used by immigrants as an excuse to not assimilate with native Americans and the greater American culture. He's wrong, and there are several characters on the show who point this out to him or whose very existence proves him wrong (his maid, the guy in the sporting goods store, his daughter's husband).
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May 29, 2014 12:22
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Stockholm Syndrome is a hell of a thing.
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May 29, 2014 13:37
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Irish Joe posted:Actually, no, that's not a point because nobody is arguing it. In the episode, Tim believes Spanish language instruction in schools is being used by immigrants as an excuse to not assimilate with native Americans and the greater American culture. He's wrong, and there are several characters on the show who point this out to him or whose very existence proves him wrong (his maid, the guy in the sporting goods store, his daughter's husband). There's something so funny about using that phrase in conjunction with this show.
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May 29, 2014 15:20
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Propaganda Machine posted:
I had an American oral surgeon offer this to me once as he didn't think I was speaking English correctly (I"m Canadian)
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May 29, 2014 15:50
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sbaldrick posted:I had an American oral surgeon offer this to me once as he didn't think I was speaking English correctly (I"m Canadian) This is a total sidenote, but I've actually had this done (as an adult and a native english speaker) and it's hardly mutilative. It was a very quick little snip and it healed incredibly quickly.
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May 29, 2014 16:53
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Last Man Standing "Driving Lessons" Season 3, Episode 2 What a boring episode of television. What a dull, uninteresting, slow paced, turgid, unnecessary episode of television. I had to pause and stop watching "Driving Lessons" multiple times during my first viewing. Not because I was offended, no, but because I just didn't care at all about what was onscreen in front of me. This is really saying something, for me; every other time, for better or almost always for worse, LMS is able to hold my attention the first time watching all the way through. This episode had nothing. It was the television equivalent of the number zero. There's a plot about Eve learning how to drive in here, but who really cares? I sure didn't. In reality the episode is mostly about Vanessa learning how to interact with Eve after Mandy and Kristin have both moved on with their lives. This should be rich stuff for drama, especially considering how Eve is the quintessential daddy's girl and it's made pretty explicitly clear leading up to this episode that Vanessa and Eve have difficulty connecting as mother and daughter, and Eve is clearly Vanessa's least favorite daughter, but in execution it's all so...formless. There's no there there. Even with an immediately personal and relatable issue like this one the entire episode feels completely unnecessary and overlong. It's bizarre. It's not offensive, at least by Last Man Standing's standards. It's not...bad, per se. I mean, it's bad in the sense of it being so dull it's unwatchable but not bad in the sense of shockingly inept. There's jokes here, ones not rooted in racism or misogyny or general conservative panic. They're even kinda funny in the objective sense. It's just that in this episode as presented they don't...really...land on the screen because so much nothing happens. Vanessa is feeling empty nest syndrome, so attempts to connect with Eve. They go on a driving lesson which steadily irritates Eve. Eve and Vanessa fight, then Mike goes to Eve and gives her the Big Moral Lesson. Eve and Vanessa make up and we end on a credits scene of mother and daughter bonding. It's all, technically speaking, well done. There's a clear A-plot with a clear rising action, climax, and falling action. But it's all so dull and completely marginal that none of it really sticks or matters. This is what I would imagine happening if someone tried to make an episode of television about the color grey. This is the plain bagel of comedies; completely tasteless and unexciting from beginning to end. This is even echoed in the b-plot, something about Kyle learning to be self-assured. It's a bad state when an episode of television is so dull that the one character I really like having a plot all about him gets the entirety of a shrug and "Well, that was there, I guess" from me. But it's how I feel about this episode as a whole. I guess I, as a whole, prefer episodes that I hate (like, absolutely despise, such as "Ed's Twice Ex-Wife") more than this, because at least those made me feel something. This was...this was...there? I guess? I can't honestly recommend anyone ever watch this. This episode is like...you ever watch those dystopian near-future movies whenever the government controls every aspect of human life? You know how they will have the gray-suited masses watch an episode of "entertainment", whatever that is, and it's completely lifeless and clinical? Like it's barely recognizable as something even resembling an artistic endeavor, and it's supposed to illustrate how captive and horrible this dystopian future is, because the government has been able to manipulate everyone's imaginations to the point where watching other people in white rooms with grey suits spit non sequiturs at each other is what passes for entertainment? This episode of LMS felt like one of those programs. It felt like something an imaginary machine programmed by network execs, some sort of TelevisionBot, would create. Beep boop, TOUCHING MOMENT. Beep boop beep, JOKE HERE. Beep beep boop boop, ENDEARING ENDING. I can't really recommend this to anyone, nor see why anyone would ever want to watch this or ever find enjoyment unless they are the WASPiest people in existence, but even then it wouldn't engender an emotion beyond "vague sentimentality". It's not...bad, no, but certainly not good. Actually I guess I could think of one reason you'd watch this: turn it on before going to sleep if you, like me, desperately need the noise of human speech in order to fall asleep. Usually I use a podcast or something I genuinely enjoy listening to, but honestly this episode of television would make a perfect white noise machine. So I guess that's how I'll sum up my feelings about this episode: It's a televised white noise machine. Grade: D Random Thoughts:
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May 29, 2014 20:07
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Irish Joe posted:Actually, no, that's not a point because nobody is arguing it. In the episode, Tim believes Spanish language instruction in schools is being used by immigrants as an excuse to not assimilate with native Americans and the greater American culture. He's wrong, and there are several characters on the show who point this out to him or whose very existence proves him wrong (his maid, the guy in the sporting goods store, his daughter's husband). Really? I got a much more xenophobic read from that. Like, it was fine for his maid to be naturalizing and learning English, but it wasn't fine for his grandkid to be learning Spanish because the context indicates that native-born Latin US-Americans are learning Spanish first at home, even though MURCA. Nicol Bolas posted:This is a total sidenote, but I've actually had this done (as an adult and a native english speaker) and it's hardly mutilative. It was a very quick little snip and it healed incredibly quickly. But why did you have it done? If you had a speech impediment and speech therapy was ineffective, that's one thing. When it's done on toddlers, it's completely unnecessary and the money would be much, much better spent on an early childhood English tutor or nanny. It's nice to hear it's not that bad though.
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May 30, 2014 01:11
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sbaldrick posted:I had an American oral surgeon offer this to me once as he didn't think I was speaking English correctly (I"m Canadian) Well... aboot that.
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May 30, 2014 01:28
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I'm also very wary of oral surgeons. When I went to get my wisdom teeth out, I felt like the office was trying to sell me on Heidi Montag-level facial reconstruction.
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May 30, 2014 01:43
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E PLURIBUS ANUS posted:Oh, the vlog has some AMAZINGLY BAD CGI in it. Like early 90s era scifi television bad.  
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May 30, 2014 01:56
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Ohhh this is now my favorite gif ever
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May 30, 2014 02:04
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