|
Doing the honorable thing and participating. I'm leaving out reality, competition, talk, and business rescue shows here because otherwise the list would at minimum double and the thread seems to be focused on episodic television. THINGS I WATCH (in order as they appear on my DVR list) Glee, Bones, Parks & Rec, South Park, The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Castle, Hot in Cleveland, Louie, Children's Hospital, Archer, SVU, Walking Dead, Once Upon a Time, Bob's Burgers, Deon Cole's Black Box, Mad Men, Black Dynamite, Parenthood, Key & Peele, Mindy Project, Chicago Fire, New Girl, Inside Amy Schumer, Whose Line is it Anyway, Sons of Anarchy, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Chicago PD, Supernatural, Fargo, Andy Daly's Review, @Midnight, Playing House, Comedy Bang! Bang!, Maron, the Middle THINGS I WATCHED Community, Raising Hope, Enlisted, HIMYM, Fox Animation from day one, ADHD cycle 1, House MD, Breaking Bad, SNL since ~'91, Ben & Kate, Arrested Development, Chappelle's Show, Sealab 2021, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Metalocalypse, Dexter, Friends, Seinfeld, Gilmore Girls, The Critic, Always Sunny, Scrubs, Heroes, Mr. Show, Firefly, Frasier, The Finder, Dollhouse, Angel, basically every Law & Order franchise, basically everything on Adult Swim from 2005-2011, The Office US & UK, Whose Line UK, Flying Circus, Deadwood, Game of Thrones, Smash, Powerpuff Girls, Bourdain travelogue shows, The Mind of a Chef, Orange is the New Black, The L Word, Freaks & Geeks, 30 Rock, NBC TGIF in the early-to-mid 90s, Saved by the Bell up to College Years, Lie to Me, Clerks animated, Wilfred, The Maxx, Aeon Flux, Michael and Michael Have Issues, the H Jon Benjamin show, Stella (and Stella Shorts which I didn't like, oddly), UCB TV, Todd Margaret, Kids in the Hall, Sarah Silverman Program, Check it Out!, Fresh Prince, 90s Saturday morning cartoons, and this list is too long but it goes on. THINGS I'VE SEEN SOME OF Buffy musical ep and "Hush", Hemlock Grove (  ), Star Trek original TNG and the start of DS9, Hannibal S1, The Killing S1, Touch, nip/tuck, The Neighbors, Modern Family, Dads, The New NormalI got caught up in nostalgia so this got out of control, and I'm cutting myself off. Do your best, Deadpool. eta: Zaggitz posted:WHAT THE gently caress IS THIS This review is amazing. Thank you! SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 00:07 on May 11, 2014 |
#
¿
May 11, 2014 00:02
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 24, 2024 08:34 |
|
|
CuwiKhons posted:Overall Opinion: Not too bad. I'll probably end up watching the rest of the season and hopefully everything will make much more sense if I do. The episode wasn't phenomenal but it also wasn't comically bad, which is kind of a shame because it would have made this recap less generic. Hello fellow Glee captive! Watching the whole season is definitely worth it and will answer all of your questions. It's a seriously great show that has an actual plan for the entire series and will end once the story is told, and it needs as many eyes on it as possible to make sure that happens. Your review was in no way generic and really entertaining to me as a fully-informed fan.
|
|
#
¿
May 11, 2014 08:19
|
|
|
Desired review: Louie, S2E06 - "Subway/Pamela" My review's coming, we had some power/internet failures yesterday that held me up.
|
|
#
¿
May 12, 2014 21:57
|
|
|
I only know that this show should have been cancelled two seasons running and I think Kristin Kreuk is in it. Also the monster makeup from the last BatB adaptation was hilariously bad and I laughed at it as a child. So let's jump on in! Previously, on Beauty and the Beast... "I can't keep juggling this line between beast... and man, it's just-- it's too confusing. C'mon, I've gotta choose one or the other especially if I ever hope... to get Catherine back." Hoo boy. This is probably our Beast and he's talking to his odd balding friend. We've got a love triangle and I'm inferring that the titular Beast is named Vincent. Kristin Kreuk is the aformentioned Catherine, as a swarthy but handsome gentleman informs us. At least I think he's swarthy. The show is very dimly-lit so far, by which I mean 60-80% of the field of vision is total blackness. Now there's another guy who's talking on the phone with Catherine about his thirst for vengeance for his son. She says it won't bring him back and he counters that the people who did this to him will "finally pay". He has decent hair. Now Catherine's talking with a gruff but intelligent prison inmate who is talking about a genetic predisposition for becoming Beasts, which I'm guessing should be capitalized as it is clearly A Thing in this show's universe. She says there is an orphanage where all of the kids have that gene, and now Sam's "trying to create another one". Who is Sam and why does he want to create another orphanage? Are those even a thing anymore? We then meet Xavier Wright, who is from the orphanage. He is being confronted by Mr Decent Hair, but the recap (and probably the previous ep) ends there. The episode proper opens to a quick-cut montage of a city at sunrise while generic light electro-pop moans on about years and drowning. A man is eating gummy worms and watching surveillance cameras that are running face recognition on the passers-by. The cuts are so quick that I don't recognize that it's Vincent the Beast, and he's looking for Sam, who is clearly our Big Bad. Odd Balding Friend establishes that it's 5AM and he's borrowing OBF's equipment to access the 'police surveillance system' and OBF doesn't want to get in trouble. Sam turns people into Beasts. Vincent can Sense people but he doesn't want to because he's trying to be less Beastly and wants to prove to Catherine that he can keep it under control so he can be with her. Makes sense. His sense is smell is clearly heightened as he asks OBF to make stronger coffee than what he already put in the machine. He locates Sam. Sam looks a lot like Mr Decent Hair. Vincent says "Gotcha!" and we cut to another dizzying city montage.  Cut to Catherine ordering another shot of espresso, because parallels y'all. Swarthy Guy is Gabe, and last night she was in his bed but was kept awake by Vincent. Dreams of Vincent, that is. She has a judgmental best friend to sneer at her nightmare in which she confronted and witnessed the accidental death of Vincent. She's shaken but determined to defy her father's insistence that she's "some kind of Beast hunter" by finding Sam. Judgy Best Friend is perplexed, because she doesn't know anything about Sam either. She wants to take care of Sam so she can focus on Gabe. I'm super loving confused about how the two could possibly be connected, but "less beast... equals less Vincent!" as she tells us and JBF. Vincent and OBF are on the streets, asking strangers if they've seen Sam. He was on that block 20 minutes ago, they're sure of it. Uhhhh 20 minutes is an awfully long time to get somewhere else even on foot in a crowded city, I'm pretty sure no one walking around was there then either. They took 20 minutes to get there because they had to print a bunch of copies of Sam's face to show to people. OBF's name is JT, and he's goading Vincent to unleash that Beastly goodness to Sense Sam and "catch Cat's bad guy for her". This dialogue, woof. "One little sniff isn't going to knock you off the Beast wagon, is it?" Oh JT, this is the start of Things Ending Badly and you're gonna get killed probably. So Vincent Senses Sam, who is indeed Mr Decent Hair and he's on the move. Vincent sets out and JT doesn't react or follow him. The scene ends. I can't emphasize enough how poorly-lit the photography is on this show, as all of the light is indirect sun with zero overhead lighting, even during interiors. Exteriors are always in shadow. Here's a daytime interior:  Gabe is looking at Sam on his laptop and there's a knock on the door. It's Cat and JBF is named Tess. He offers her breakfast, but she wants only Sam. Sam makes Beasts out of orphans and even Gabe knows that orphans are more likely to be Beastable. It's worth noting that what these people do for a living is a complete mystery and they live in palatial NYC suites. We get a hint that Gabe is either police or a lawyer because he says he needs to build a case in order to arrest Sam. Sam is good at covering his tracks because even though Gabe was "tranq'd and kidnapped" (Cat's words) and Sam tried to inject Gabe with the Beast serum he "knows I'd never say that in court." (Gabe's words) Sam stole Tony Barnes's identity to purchase property. Gabe works for the DA. These two have absolutely zero chemistry even as Cat is wrapping her arms around his neck. He makes an nakedly passive-aggressive comment about how nice it would be to be done with Beast which Cat calls "subtle" in exactly as many words. But she concedes that he has a point about her involvement with Vincent (whatever it is), and that "getting Sam... getting past Beasts... it'll help... us." Either they can't afford second takes on BatB or that was the best they got after an exhausting half hour of filming. He gives her a key to his place and she doesn't react, so he reassures her: "Relax. It's just a key. It's not a ring." JT calls Cat to inform her that Vincent has Sam. Gabe rolls his eyes. The picture is so dark that I can't even tell what Sam is being held in. Maybe a train car?  And Vincent's no help. No really, he's in the shot! So whatever struggle happened between our protagonist and our big bad has simply happened and Sam chuckles that he got cocky and let his guard down. I'm guessing this is like Dexter's kill table in that Vincent has taken many a baddie down here to interrogate them disinterestedly. Sam accuses Vincent of kidnapping him because "I'm being held here against my will, and that's kidnapping in the eyes of the law. I could sue you." He admits that what he knows about the law is what he uses to avoid prosecution until he can get revenge on the people that killed his son. Other than everyone telling me how bad he is that sounds pretty righteous. When TJ asks upon whom he seeeks revenge, he actually says "That's for me to know, and for you to find out." This is the shot when he's delivering that line:  I'm not even kidding. They cut from TJ, to that, then back to TJ. Did I mention that TJ's totally a Goon?  They inform Sam that they're taking him to jail. Sam calls their bluff because he knows Vincent isn't willing to publicly admit that he is a Beast, which for some reason would come up at arraignment. Again, the human/Beast politics have likely been established on this show so I don't know how much of this is earned, but it's enough to give Vincent pause. TJ cautions Vincent that Sam is merely goading him, but Sam is raising his voice ever higher about how Sam's a Beast who let Sam create his own Beasts. Vincent doesn't know what he's takling about and Sam reveals that while TJ was making the Beast serum it distracted Vincent which allowed Sam to get Tori's blood and Sam says Vincent's the reason that Tori was killed. (I'm guessing Tori was the dialogue coach for this show.) This is helpful for me as a new viewer but very clunky as exposition goes. Vincent's getting heated up and Sam's baiting him when TJ, that goofball idiot, says "Think of Cat." This gives TJ the upper hand and he has the same conversation with Vincent that TJ had earlier today, but this time sarcastically and this makes Vincent go into BEAST MODE  ...just in time for Cat and Gabe to show up. RUT ROHHHHHHHH  The title card is fairly underdesigned and reads as "The Beauty and Beast" to my eyes. I just realized that Sam is played by one of those actors who is frequently in comedic roles but isn't at all funny. I want to say he was in Dead Man on Campus? I'm probably wrong. Vincent: "I wasn't trying to hurt the guy, okay I-- I was just trying to find him-- TJ: "Which, by the way, we did." Gabe: "Yeah, but how?" Cat: "I think we all know how, Gabe." Gabe: "Look, I'm not standing in judgement, okay? I appreciate your efforts Vincent, I do, and God knows we all wanna bust Sam, but we can't do it by using..." Vincent: "Whuh? Were you going to say 'Beast Justice'?" Gabe: "Yeah, frankly." Sure, when doesn't one want to avoid employing Beast Justice? The lines are delivered as though the term is Vincent's word and Gabe won't use it in front of him but you just know the DA's office has a whole book of Beast Justice jokes they tell each other when Vincent's not around. Anyway good ol' BJ doesn't have a place in the legal system, and Vincent's vigilante tactics have Gabe and Cat steamed. TJ appeals to their sense of justice but Vincent sends him home. Gabe's going to try and get Sam to give him information and is also Mojinder from Heroes. In doing so he leaves Cat alone with Vincent in a display of trust since they're roommates now. Back to the holding cell/darkroom, Sam cottons to Gabe's plan, which he calls "The Al Capone approach" since they couldn't get him for murder but instead got him for wire fraud. "Tax evasion," Gabe corrects him. Gabe then lays out all of his cards on the table and promises Sam that if he takes a deal, he'll help him avenge his son's death. Vincent and Cat decide not to have a scene together and enter the room. Sam says if they don't let him go then more people are going to die because Sam's beast is chained up and hungry. Tess works for the police! She says Sam might be right but she's busy tracking the Muirfield orphans and there are 9 out of 26 that remain unlocated. Gabe orders Vincent to release Sam. Next scene is when we see Vincent slowly, reluctantly, begrudgingly lets Sam go as Sam cackles with delight and Vincent smolders with fury, right? NOPE. Xavier Wright from the recap is Sam's Beast, who is indeed chained up. Enter a newly freed Sam who apologizes for getting sidetracked. The train car was too poorly lit for me to ascertain that Beast Mode means putting in black contacts, so thanks to Xavier for clarifying that. He's thirsty. Sam tells him he's "in transition... from ordinary to extraordinary" but he makes it clear that the black guy in chains is his total subordinate. Hoo boy. His task will be to help get revenge for his son's death, but first he has to take out the person who's coming to save him. He opens a knife and says they're going to help Xavier be found. I get it, Beasts smell blood. Cut to a marina and a bunch of boats. Turns out Vincent lives on a houseboat and Gabe's let himself in and poured a few drinks. How's the lighting? Glad you asked!  Cat's not there and he's here to talk about her relationship with Vincent. Not the imminent danger they've just allowed to take shape, but Cat. We get a third helping in 15 minutes of Vincent's plan to win her back by being less Beasty. Vince asks how he would know what she thinks, and he replies "Because she's staying at my place now. Not yours." Which is pretty gross! Turns out Gabe used to be half-Beast just like Vince is currently, so he knows that it's a struggle that he can't win. Cat's the reason why he's no longer a Beast and he can promise her a future without Beasts, something Vince cannot do because he's still prone to "Beasting out". Gabe tells him to stay away for her sake and to quit being so selfish. Vince opens his mouth to react but says nothing and Gabe exits as kick-rear end rock drums start in. Vince is at a bar playing pool by himself (which is basically the saddest thing in the world, right?) when TJ shows up asking him where he's been. Vince gives him a full recap of the last 10 minutes of the show except for the Xavier/Sam part. He says they're right but he's being distant. TJ grabs his pool cue and says, "Talk to me." Vince laments that his attempt to "go... Beast Straight I guess" didn't work and never will. TJ tells him he should embrace both sides of himself equally. I can't tell if TJ's a good friend or a moron. The bar is, of course, dark.  TJ tells him to stop worrying about what Cat wants and to start doing what Vincent wants. So he tells him to be selfish because he wants to watch them gently caress or something. Seriously he's so goony. What Vince wants is to save Sam's next victim and TJ tells him to loving DO IT! Is TJ secretly aligned with Sam or something? Another jumpy city montage lands on a police precinct. Cat's walking through here with some agency so I'm inferring that she is police. Tess found Xavier because of course she did, and he's one of the orphans and they need to use "The Mastertracker" who of course is Vincent. Cat wants to do things by the book and without Vince, which Tess doesn't think is possible. Cat says Gabe says no. Street justice isn't justice, says Cat. Tess tries to make a joke about what separates man from beast that Cat doesn't react to. Cat goes off to find Xavier. Tess calls her a coward as she walks away. Tess is a bit of a shithead. We land on Sam's place, where Vincent has visions of what happened before. I guess the modern Beast gets to trade physical deformity for superpowers. Win-win, modern Beast. His superpower also magically makes the lighting briefly acceptable.  Vincent uses Beast Vision to follow Xavier through town. He almost gets hit by a car, and wouldn't you know it, Cat's driving. She says it would have been okay if she ran him over because he's interfering with official police business. I buy her as a cop even less than I do Sophia Bush on Chicago PD. They suspect Sam is watching so Cat insists that Vince gets in the car to continue interfering.  Dizzying bridge montage with reality show tension music. Cat and Vince are fleshing out everything the audience has already figured out for some reason. The cruiser is not equipped with any computer equipment or pesky dashboard lights to cast any glow on our charmless duo. Cat quickly deduces that this is all a trap while Vince sticks to his guns about saving Xavier. Vince: "Oh come on, why would Sam--"   SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER! The cruiser is t-boned by a semi, rolls and lands upside down. And wouldn't you know it, Xavier's driving the truck. His Beast Mode status is unclear until he checks in on Cat and Vince to bare his teeth and give a zombie-eyed growl. So he's supposed to kill them, knows they're alive and vulnerable, and he cheeses off to who-knows-where without slashing any throats because potential witnesses are approaching. Our heroes are uninjured and unshaken. It's physical comedy time as Cat and Vince seek to free themselves from their seatbelts. It's too dark to tell if anyone's bleeding. Cat puts a button on the segment by saying "Well that was fun." Then Cat's door won't open so they announce that they're trapped. Vince teases Beasting them the gently caress out of the car just in time for a pedestrian to inform them that the fire department is on the way. Instantly a fire truck appears because emergency response times in NYC are amazing. As the FD cuts them out of the car we're treated to even more slapstick as Cat can't reach her ringing phone so she begs Vincent to get it out of her pocket... her BACK pocket. Much groping and bickering occurs for the next 45 seconds, and Gabe's calling. He knows where Sam is, and that goober Vincent pipes up to ask for details. Gabe demands to know what's going on but Cat is distracted by Vince texting JT for more info. Gabe: "How close are you?" Cat: "Too close." Vince: "He means 'to Sam'." Cat: "Oh.  "Cat announces that they "require a Beast" so Vince hangs up on Gabe. After all of that waiting to avoid Beasting out, Vince decides to go Beast but trick a fireman into thinking he's the hero for busting the door open. The fireman is knocked back 30 feet and gets a round of applause from the gathered crowd. City montage lands on a business building. Xavier is getting instructions on how to proceed from Sam. Xavier heeds the warning about the room he's going to having no oxygen. Sam tells him to use his new skills and he'll be fine. So he bristles and a foley lion grunts, and he's good to walk through an open door to this airless environment. So it isn't sealed in any meaningful way. Also it's dark. He has to "start the upload as soon as you reach the server" so I guess we're back to Hackers-era tech. Sam finds a laptop someone left on a desk years ago, inserts a thumbdrive and the upload (download?) starts. It's all very confusing. Vincent and Cat arrive, and Vince knows he's gotta Beast up to get to Xavier. He's still thinking he needs to save Xavier, and despite her feeble protestations he sends her off to deal with Sam as he boards the elevator.In parallel sequences, Vincent uses his sleeve as a breathing apparatus after seeing that one is required for the sublevel he's on while Cat draws her gun on Sam and the old laptop whose progress bar has stalled on the download because the wifi took a poo poo. What is he downloading? Who knows. Vince approaches a terminal and spots the world's brightest flashing red LED. Cat tries to arrest Sam who reveals that, in the sublevels of the very building they are in, Xavier is wearing enough C4 to level the block. We watch Vincent remove the explosive vest with zero effort from the passed-out Xavier, and he carries him out of the sub-basement while Foley Lion burps. Cat won't lower her weapon and Sam doesn't care how many innocent people die for his revenge of his dead son so he sets off the worst fake explosion in television history.  Cat attacks him as the explosion courses up the elevator shaft. Cut to him cuffed to a pipe, and Cat tells him "Vincent's dead? You're dead." Sam is literally twice her size so I guess she's a good cop and also a cyborg. She runs off and it turns out she's a dumb as hell cop becaue she left Sam's briefcase within kicking distance. He opens it and produces a vial with... I want to say a microchip in it? I can't tell because it's so dark. He smugly grimaces, which is pretty good acting all things considered. Cat finds Vincent performing CPR on Xavier among the flaming wreckage. She smiles warmly because Kristin Kreuk doesn't have a whole lot of range and forgets that a person is literally dying in front of her and that she left Sam alone in a room, which on a better show would be treated as a ticking clock. Xavier springs to life and as he's catching his breath Cat embraces Vince, whining "You could've died!" into his shoulder. Gabe and Tess have arrived and are watching them from afar and judging the gently caress out of them while sharing a knowing glance. We enter the final act as Gabe and Cat are questioning Sam. So I guess the explosion didn't hurt anyone or cause any damage and everything's fine so let's move on. Sam is now facing federal charges of "domestic terrorism" (can't they just say "terrorism"?) per Gabe. He smugly reminds them that he has Vincent's Beastness as leverage. Gabe says that he has proof and Sam doesn't. He reminds Sam that he wanted to work with him and help find the people that "allegedly killed" his son. Sam can't stop grinning as they explain that he can't get access to "classified names" because they're "encrytped, NSA Level" and they have the thumb drive besides. Cat: "Does this amuse you?" Sam: "Yes, actually." He asks if Cat (who we just now established is A Detective) and Gabe believe in God, because he used to. He used to believe in a day of reckoning and justice, but now there is only revenge. They're trying to get out of him who killed his son, because he clearly knows. He tells them they can't understand his motivations because they don't have children. All Gabe knows is that Sam's going to jail, and tells someone off-screen (or on, it's too dark to tell) to book him. Gabe's giving Cat the silent treatment, as all mature adults do when they're upset. She apologizes. Gabe, a grown-rear end man, is mad because she hugged Vincent. With her arms, you guys. She's talking like she lapsed judgment and hosed him, which leads me to believe that hugs are very different for Beasts. Cat: "It's not like we secretly planned it, if that's what you're thinking." You are making yourself sound so suspicious and the truth is on your side, idiot! Gabe: "I guess I'm just tired of being the nice guy all the time." You've been a total shithead to everyone and are clearly deeply insecure about this relationship. The right move here is to sever, and Gabe proves it by giving her an ultimatum. Is she with him, or is she with Vincent. The words "right now" are deployed. Cat: "I'm with you." Gabe: "Then you need to tell Vincent that." Dear god please let this end soon. These adults are talking like grade schoolers. JT can do DNA analysis on the fly and determines that Xavier is 100% human, but they're not sure how. We learn that Gabe, too, "died as Beast and woke up a human". Vincent isn't buying it. JT: "Hey, don't look at me, I'm just making this crap up!" Fire their script supervisor/lead chimp immediately. JT tells Vincent that Xavier is alive because of both of his sides, both human and Beast, and not because he wanted to impress Cat. Uhhh didn't he tell Vincent to use his Beast Justice to catch Sam specifically for her? I'm getting a sense that JT is super jealous of the attention Vince gives Cat because dude is even more insecure than Gabe. Vince takes a few gummy worms for the road and leaves so JT can jerk off. It's a profoundly awkward scene. Cut to Sam heaving into a prison toilet. Guard: "Are ya sick or somethin'?" Sam: "No... *hurrrgh* I'm fine." The guard leaves because it's his first night and he's not sure how to approach this. I can't see anything because the grates on the cell door are impenetrable and, of course, it's dark as gently caress. Finally in the money shot we see that Sam has successfully regurgitated...  ...whatever the gently caress that is. I poo poo you not that is the actual reveal. Is it a pill? A lockpick? An explosive? I haven't a clue so of course we cut to Vincent on the houseboat microwaving a TV dinner (is this symbolism?) and Cat's dropped by unannounced because They Have To Talk. Cat: "This is really hard for me, but now that Sam's in jail, things have to change between us. I'm with Gabe now." Vince knows. She goes on. He understands. She doesn't think Vince can't make her happy, but Vince says they've both made mistakes but Gabe is a good guy. She agrees. He approaches her personal space and wishes her good luck. Then they make out like teenagers and he carries her off for a Beastly loving. Roll credits. I expected nothing and received nothing in return. This was as schlocky as a Lifetime movie with no discernable narrative structure. I watched it once to pick apart and then a second time to see how cohesive it was while I edited my notes down. It doesn't resolve anything beyond saving Xavier. There are no fight sequences and all of the action happens off-camera. The only visually interesting things are all represented here in .gif form. There isn't any beefcake on display, though I guess Sendhil Ramamurthy is a handsome dude. I expected more shirtless buff dudes from The CW so points to them for disappointing me. A quick trip to Wikipedia tells me everything the show didn't and I won't run it down here but it is so much more ridiculous than I thought. I also learned that this just aired a few months ago and only one ep has aired since, and the storylines have yet to be resolved. Also, Wikipedia posted:Meanwhile, Cat is telling Tess that although the sex was very great, it was a break up sex. Will I be watching the rest of the series? Oh no. God no. Is it the worst thing I've ever seen? Nah but it was top-to-bottom terrible. This is television for confused teenagers, and the line readings are truly awful. Ramamurthy is the best part of the show but his character is a turkey. Tom Everett Scott (who indeed was in Dead Man on Campus!) makes a real meal out of his role but it's not very compelling. Everything is very shallow and vague and nobody has any chemistry with one another. And I have never strained my eyes as hard as this show made me. Final Grade: D I'm ready for more. I hope the next review won't be as long because good lord. SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 08:44 on May 16, 2014 |
|
#
¿
May 15, 2014 22:41
|
|
|
Senerio posted:Neat. I'll recommend a half hour show, so it should be half this long: Power Rangers Turbo episode 22: Trouble by the Slice. I watched a lot of Power Rangers as a kid so I have to pass on that one. VVV Huh? VVV SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 23:06 on May 15, 2014 |
|
#
¿
May 15, 2014 22:54
|
|
|
Okay I'm on this. A loving Ken Burns doc about a sport. Awesome. This thread is the best, everyone keep up the good work.
|
|
#
¿
May 17, 2014 04:49
|
|
|
Ken Burns's "Baseball", Episode 2 I was completely unaware of the existence of this program, but it's on Netflix so let's have at it. I know that Ken Burns is a very popular documentary filmmaker who has a fruitful relationship with PBS and generally wins all of the Emmys any year he's eligible. I have seen not one second of his work but there was a 2-part Community S3 episode inspired by his style that felt so familiar that perhaps I have seen more of Burns than I'm aware of. That or historical documentaries tend to have the same format: booming narration over archival and/or re-enacted footage intercut with talking heads speaking authoritatively. It stands to reason that Burns's style has spawned a myriad of both parodies and imitators. Here's what I know about baseball: I played little league for many years as a youth and never saw a great deal of success. I was built like a slugger (read: medium-fat but tall) but I was secretly deeply afraid of being hit by a wild pitch. I was also easily distracted and bored most of the time. I would smile every time that I was assigned right field instead of being benched, because I was a very naive child and no one ever made fun of me for it. Don't get me wrong, I was solid. I wasn't afraid of catching hits like I was of pitches and I could throw to home like a beast. But it's hard to make plays when you're sitting in the outfield playing with mounds of dirt for 95% of your time on the field. Omaha is a town without a national sports franchise. We are however home to the minor league franchise of the Kansas City Royals, then known as the Omaha Royals. The KC Royals are known for George Brett and little else besides generally sucking and not having a post-season appearance since winning the World Series in 1985. Me? I was an Oakland Athletics fan because of Jose Canseco hitting 40 home runs and stealing 40 bases in one season. I had never watched him play but that statistic was really impressive and much was made about it at the time. (As it is with most notable achievements in baseball this would later be tainted by allegations of steroid use, but my interest had long since passed by then.) I even had a Jose Canseco poster that my parents bought and framed for me, surely in the hopes that I would glom on to something not involving the mass media arts of television, video games, and comic books. Sure, I collected baseball cards, but that's just what boys did. I didn't have a strong interest in the sport, but I liked collecting things and the idea of a complete set assembled from random packs enchanted me. Watching an entire 9-inning baseball game live under the hot sun is one of the more tedious things one can do to oneself. Without color commentary and play-by-play you are subjected to massive silences punctuated by light applause for each hit or a runner reaching home and a more raucous ovation for a home run. God help you if you see a game like the one I attended. It was the Summer of 1990 and my mom and aunt took me and my best friend to a KC Royals game. I was about to turn 10 and as always I brought my collection of Nintendo Power issues to excitedly read for the billionth time whilst winding down in the hotel room. I wore my Oakland A's hat because I felt it suited the occasion perfectly. It was a low-scoring affair (like 1-2 or thereabouts) and there were no home runs from either team. I don't remember who the Visitors were and I wasn't rooting for either team so it was a whole lot of Sittin' There, decidedly not one of my strong suits. 24 years on this outing remains the only professional sports event I have ever seen in person. Two things have stuck with me from that day (neither of which are what day it was or which team won): one, as I was walking to use the bathroom an older gentleman with a group of his buddies yelled at me, simply: "A's?!" and they all had a good laugh as I walked on silently. (Disdain for my team coming from a loving Royals fan? Seriously?) His tone implied that for how out of place my hat was, I may as well have strapped a neon dildo to my head. Secondly, my copy of issue #4 of Nintendo Power was somehow misplaced and left behind at the hotel. I made this discovery within minutes of hitting the road and was told we could not turn around to go find it. In my world, at the time, the issue was irreplaceable. I remember that I wasn't sad, but I sure was furious. Between that day and the release of Ken Burns's "Baseball" in 1994, my world grew smaller and I turned more inward, shying away from sports and going full-on indoor kid in my fantasy world where completing menial tasks in a video game merited praise and rewards and where comics wouldn't judge me for reading them in my own way. It was an easier, lonelier world. I lived driving distance from my school, so I couldn't spontaneously spend time with my school friends. I watched MTV and listened to my CDs in the basement without fear that my parents might hear someone use a swear word or talk about sex. Middle school was when things started getting really rough and by the time I was headed to high school I was informed that I would not be attending the public high school local to our home, but instead would be going to a parochial all-boys boarding school. I was mortified. I had given up on organized religion by then and wanted to be around people I lived near and had designs on developing a real social life. Then my hero Kurt Cobain blew his brains out. Several months later, I trudged off to my personal hell and Ken Burns released the 18 hour epic simply titled "Baseball". "Baseball" is cleverly divided into 9 innings, much like the game itself. I watched the second two-hour installment covering 1900-1910. The tone of the whole affair is very pastoral and patriotic, aligning America with the history of the sport. "The Star-Spangled Banner" plays in its entirety at the beginning just as it does at every game, to give you an idea. There is much panning over and zooming in and out of massive archival photographs, but (understandably) very little film. It tells the story of the formation of the American League out of the crumbling National League, the two leagues which remain to this day. The sight of tens of thousands of people attending the games and spilling out onto the field to argue with the players during play is astounding. There was some bloviating ad copy about a ham sandwich that transitioned into the introduction of hot dogs about 22 minutes in, just after the establishment of the World Series. There are a lot of stories about individuals that color the overall narrative, but this is very much educational programming with all of the style and wit of an encyclopedia article, though the many voices who contribute quotes give a strong effort. To recap this in the way I'm used to would be a total book report. The seeds are sown for the establishment of the Negro League and women's baseball. The words "the invincible Cubs" are deployed in earnest, and Boston is known for success. Apparently the person who wrote "Casey at the Bat" performed it over 10,000 times and baseballers supplemented their income in Vaudeville acts. We meet Honus Wagner, Christie Mathewson, Mordecai Brown, Walter Johnson, Ty Cobb and several others. Ty Cobb had a hosed-up life. Lip service is made to the uncertain origins of the game, but asserts its necessity as an American invention. My favorite team name of the show is the Lebanon Pretzel Eaters. We meet Rube Foster, eventual founder of the Negro Leagues. At 1:24 a title card reads "The Merkle Boner" and I finally get my first laugh. The story it refers to is a legendary comedy of errors that is quite nearly beyond belief. The New York crowds look and sound like a living nightmare. The stakes get raised in the last 20 minutes and things pick up once it's telling the thrilling tale of Wagner meeting Cobb. A quote from the Sunday Post puts a bow on it and we roll credits at 1:42 accompanied by a jarringly off-key rendition of "Gee It's a Wonderful Game". I am positive that there is an audience for this beyond American History classrooms, but it has to be incredibly small. Merkle's Boner taken on its own (heh heh) could make for a compelling half-hour, but here it's one of many four-minute vignettes. The bulk of the runtime consists of facts read from a sheet with interviewed reactions, most of them historians with only a few sports figures present. To be fair, it's about events that even then were 70-80 years in the past. I found it refreshing that much positive bluster abounds, but there is nothing controversial explored in any depth, and Burns's objectivity to his subject doesn't result in any kind of statement being made beyond "Ain't America Great?" This is a history lesson and it is well-executed given the limitations within which the documentarian needed to function. It is also dry as the desert air. Will I watch the rest of the series? Did I mention that it's 18 hours long? Suffice it to say, No. What did you learn? E PLURIBUS ANUS is a shitlord, but I thank him for the opportunity to reflect on my own history. Final Grade: B- eta: Oh, one last thing from Wikipedia. Wikipedia posted:The series had an audience of 45 million viewers, which makes it the most watched program in Public Television history. 
SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 22:58 on May 18, 2014 |
|
#
¿
May 18, 2014 22:43
|
|
|
BSam posted:Sorry, seen it, and love that show. I've done two reviews so I can do this, right? Yo Gabba Gabba Season 1 Episode 1
|
|
#
¿
May 20, 2014 09:26
|
|
|
Oh that is gonna be great. I say this as a person who has been dragged through watching the entire series. What the hell I've got nothing going on this weekend. edit: Disregard this. I can't find a way to watch it. Seemed pretty okay from the first 90 seconds too  As punishment for my lack of foresight I'll take whatever is assigned to me by the thread. I have Netflix and the internet in general, but no Hulu Plus or Amazon Prime.
SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 01:19 on May 23, 2014 |
|
#
¿
May 22, 2014 22:18
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 24, 2024 08:34 |
|
|
Veskit posted:I'm assuming he had something going on with intense chick so there's that, If Intense Chick is named Debra and is played by Jennifer Carpenter then that's his sister. Note that I did not specifically say you were wrong. Great review btw. It may interest you to know that that finale is one of the last good episodes. SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 04:05 on May 23, 2014 |
|
#
¿
May 23, 2014 04:00
|
|