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Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Inco posted:

Is the online better this time around? Last time I tried to do anything online in DaS1, everyone just teleported around constantly and then I fell over dead. My ping also likes to randomly shoot up to 500ms and hover there for minutes at a time.
No Games for Windows Live makes Dark Souls II players happy boys. You might still happen onto someone lagging, but it's rather rare in my experience.

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Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
Land of the Livid Dead is the best level in Rayman Origins, and the Tricky Treasures are the best levels before that. This is because you never have to wait a single second in them, just hold right and go, go, go. Rayman Origins is the best platformer.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Lotish posted:

Yeah, I'm one of those people that actually like FFXII, but I can't imagine why anyone would ever think poo poo like that is a good idea in any game ever.
I heard that the original developer of FFXII had a nervous breakdown late in development because the game was such a huge pain to get finished, and while he was hospitalized, someone else took over who had a major boner for the idea that retarded bullshit would make players communicate online and try to find the ridiculous secrets. Not a game, an ~experience~.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

That loving Sned posted:

This, but for Metroid Prime 3. Having the game split up into different planets makes it feel more like the first Ratchet & Clank than a Metroid game. I'm going to push on though, but I still like the previous two games better, with Metroid Prime being brilliant, and Metroid Prime 2 being the Lost Levels version of it, with the Screw Attack thrown in for good measure.
I like Echoes a little more than Prime for various reasons (unimportant, because that's not what the thread is for), but gently caress Corruption. It's not a terrible game, but it's such a letdown because while MP1 and 2 have their annoying parts, MP3 is oftentimes just plain bad. And not only in a "this boss sucks holy poo poo" way (though it HAS THAT IN SPADES), but also in a "10 minute backtrack through identical corridors yaaaaaaaaay" way which is the worst kind of bad - the boring one.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

RyokoTK posted:

Metroid Prime is one of my all-time favorite games and I really do not like Echoes whatsoever. I think Metroid is a franchise that I don't really want to be challenging, because if I was looking for a difficult FPS I would certainly not play Metroid Prime anyway. Also I think the dark world mechanic is definitely a Thing Dragging This Game Down; talk about a gameplay element nobody ever loving asked for.
But pretty much every Metroid game is at least at points pretty difficult? The entirety of Phazon Mines in Prime, for example.

Dark World is far better if you can force yourself to ignore the health drain and just destroy all the energy dropping pods along the way. I think that is pretty smartly designed. However, I also was in the camp of "hey free if slow health reg, let's wait around" the first time I played it (I'm a patient man, however) and I fully agree that the game lends itself to that gameplay far too much. It really doesn't communicate well enough that you can just keep going, you will find enough health drops because they scale with how little you have left.

Still far better than the horrible, horrible Hyper Mode. Every encounter in Corruption is either a bullet sponge or gone in milliseconds if you are willing to sacrifice health, which it 100% encourages you to do, and you can support it, so why even have the enemies at all? Or the then-empty corridors? Oh wait 90% of Corruption is padding, never mind.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
Motion control shooting in the Prime Trilogy is fantastic and a great incentive to replay the older games (again!) because it works just so well. I also really don't mind the waggle to open doors because of course they have to do that because ~**Wii**~ and Nintendo probably would have skewered them or something, and it so doesn't matter for doors.

The Lasso in bossfights, however, is terrible and a single failure because of it not registering correctly is already too much. I get why they put it in, but it's not forgiving enough, basically - could have been good if it didn't randomly fail. (eagerly awaiting tons of posts by people who never had a problem - it's fine, I also didn't have too many issues with it, but I watched a friend play and he just couldn't get it to work consistently and it was the worst thing. Maybe he didn't jerk enough :mmmhmm:)


RBA Starblade posted:

That first world boss fight where you have to blow up the three orbs and you don't really have the energy tanks to use hyper-mode consistently is one of the most frustrating and awful things I've ever done in a video game and pretty much the sole reason I never want to play Corruption again.
Yes.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Tiggum posted:

I hate costume pieces that have mechanical effects. It forces you to choose between customising the character the way you want to and whatever the benefit of looking dumb is. Like in Dragon Age: Origins, I wanted to wear a cool helmet with wings on, but instead I had to wear a dumb hood thing.
?

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Biplane posted:

By not recognizing the indomitable Shako you have proven yourself An Owned Scrub Fucker In Perpetuity, please turn in your Cool Adult Sex-Haver card at your nearest self-ownage triage station.
Finally!




i mean come on


EDIT: vvvvvv keep your duped poo poo :coal:

Simply Simon has a new favorite as of 21:01 on Jul 30, 2014

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Cleretic posted:

I gave up on FF7 when I tried to play it a couple years ago when they translated the tutorial fight so badly that actually following its advice gets you killed.

I've been really liking Dark Souls II, but I just came to a zone that's doing poorly in a way that I can articulate beyond 'it's unfair'.

The Shrine of Amana hits a gimmick overload. Dark Souls areas usually have gimmicks to make each one a different experience in play, and that actually works pretty well; in the original, no two zones could be approached in exactly the same way because they wre all structured in ways to provide unique challenges. Dark Souls II is a bit shaky about it, but the Shine of Amana is the only time I'd directly say that they've failed. It has three unique things to it:
-Waist-deep water that slows you down when you're in it.
-Mutated sea beasts hiding under said water.
-Spellcasters with range.

All of these gimmicks actually lock together in a relatively compatible way; the water impedes your movement and makes dodging difficult, the sea monsters hide and force you to watch your step, and the spellcasters force you to keep moving and stay alert. The problem is that they compound, and all three at the same time becomes a frustrating experience with no adequate way out. You can't beeline for the spellcasters, because the water slows you down and lets the sea monsters ambush you. You can't weed out the sea monsters, because they're dangerous enough targets and in the slowing water such that the spellcasters can pick you off. And you can't keep a fast or slow enough pace to deal with the complications of the water, because it keeps you slow enough that BOTH enemies can bear down on you. If it was only two of those three gimmicks it would be fine, but with all three it becomes too much. You can't prioritize dealing with any of them, because then one of the others will get you.

I know Dark Souls Chat was outlawed in the last thread, but I'm hoping that we can avoid the substance-void arguments that led to that ruling this time.
Dark Souls II really wants you to use a Bow. It's blatantly obvious in the Shrine, if you don't have a ranged option, the difficulty increases tenfold. For the love of your sanity, invest in some arrows or bolts.

kazil posted:

I'm replaying Final Fantasy VII to get my old jprg nostalgia kick, and I have to say, the minigames really drag it down. Motorcycle riding, chocobo racing, snowboarding, pretty much everything has really lovely controls and isn't fun.

The dialog is also super terrible.
I'm playing it for the first time and even though I loving hate minigames, it's not that bad (especially after you get over the terrible, terrible Junon segment where there's like 5 pointless ones back-to-back). What really drags it down for me is the menus. I don't know if I'm like missing half the possibilities (because I can't try every button that might make sense because the button mapping on the PC version is atrocious), but there is no way to check weapon stats in the standard item menu, you can't unequip accessories at all, meaning I have to awkwardly juggle the one trash accessory between my back-row characters (and I like swapping often), same is true for armor, I was fortunate enough to find the Materia exchange menu (which is also stupidly hidden) but it's still ridiculously clunky (can't I just exchange all at once?), in the equip menu you don't see all the stats the item affects...

It's terrible and I can't stand it. Am I missing the easy option somewhere because I've seen nobody else complain about it before, or did the nostalgia set in for most before they tried optimizing stuff even a little?

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
I played my post-SNES FFs for the first time in pretty much the opposite order: FF10, FF9, FF8, FF7 (SNES and earlier sprinkled in-between. I'm a latecomer). FF9 is one of the very best games in the series for me, but FF8 is abysmal and I loving hate it. FF7 is fine. Even so late, it's fine. There are a lot of parts that are genuinely fun, as compared to FF8 (or, God help me, FF3DS) which for me at least are just terribly boring and/or frustrating all the time. The PC version of FF7 even has a slightly touched-up translation (mostly the really egregious mistakes like "this guy are sick").

Minigames and menus suck, I would agree that it has aged badly, but not to the point of unplayability. FF8 looks and reads far, far better, has fantastic menus and only one (but very good) minigame, but it's a pile of poo poo in every other aspect.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
I got drunk with a buddy and we popped Drive expecting an action film. We both loving hated Drive after that. The comparison is way apt, I'd say.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Chard posted:

Sorry about your total lack of taste in films :( that has to suck for you
I also really like Nickelback

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
I'm pretty sure however that ol' Quetzy was not the God of making playing cards into all the broken poo poo in the universe. Do you know what his actual mythology is? The God of always being misspelled 500 years after his worship ended? Jesus never had that problem.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Tiggum posted:

Well, we're talking about Human Revolution style robot limbs, and no one in that world seems to have that problem. Pretty sure they can handle delicate things just fine. :shrug:
Jensen is practicing watchmaking in his apartment.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Your Gay Uncle posted:

Have you tried putting it in Offline Mode? You can't summon other people, leave or read message or see bloodstains but you'll stop getting invaded.
Not by NPC invaders :D. Actually, Dark Souls 2 has some neat things that are only accessible offline. For example, there is one guy (not an invader, a red phantom) who only spawns in offline mode and he's the only source of the armor and weapon he wears.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

RBA Starblade posted:

Which guy's this? I haven't heard of him.
In Belfry Sol, only in offline mode, there is an around 16% chance for a red phantom in an awesome Predator mask to spawn. He drops the Berserker set and Katana. On a bus ride, I've farmed him for shits and giggles; you can rest at the bonfire to make him spawn if he isn't, and you can actually check for CPU use of Dark Souls 2 to see if he spawned - it goes up noticeably (in the last digits, of course) when the game loads in his model. You know, just if you want to try it. Though the mask is pretty kickass!

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Professor Wayne posted:

This is such a hilariously bad idea that I wish it was true. I would do nothing but constantly pause and unpause my game in the middle of fights to throw off invaders. I don't see what the big deal is about needing to pause Dark Souls. I leave it running all the time to do little things you guys are talking about like using the bathroom or letting the dog out. Enemies don't generally wander around the level, so you're perfectly safe to take Fido out for a few minutes. If you're scared about invaders, it takes about 10 seconds total to get to the main menu and back in your game.
Hell, if invaders bother you so much, just Alt+F4 out regardless. It's not the best form, but it's not like anyone can stop you. Or just die while afk. It's not like it's going to matter much compared to the thousands of other deaths you rack up.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Kay Kessler posted:

Speaking of Xenoblade, any game where your equipment changes you appearance needs to have an option to turn cosmetic changes off. Especially if the cosmetic changes occur during cutscenes. I've had to hold back on giving my party better equipment because they look like complete horseshit.
Good Lord would you hate The Last Story.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
Spirit Tracks is loving garbage. I quit on the last mandatory flute thing because it's the absolute worst minigame I ever had to play. I literally cannot do it and at least three of my friends also cannot do it because it is so stupid. My biggest problem is probably that you get no immediate feedback when you gently caress up, have to play through the entire loving sequence and then he's like WELP YOU hosed UP SOMEWHERE and I have zero idea what I am actually doing wrong.

And the worst thing about the game is not even this; it's my complete lack of motivation to even try getting better at the flute nonsense or reading up on it or whatever because Spirit Tracks is loving joyless from start to almost-finish and easily the absolute worst Zelda game. I cannot tell you how absurdly pleased I was recently playing A Link Between Worlds just because it is not mindnumbingly terrible in every aspect (it is also quite good, in fact).

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Phobophilia posted:

Actually, this is another case where convention makes different games subtly different. IIRC, Dota-likes are based off WC3 controls, where R-click moves, and L-click attacks. Diablo-likes go in the opposite direction, L-click is used primarily for movement, whereas R-click usually has some kind of attack mapped to it.
My first RTS was Command & Conquer (Tiberian Sun), then I tried my hand at WC3. The hours I spent trying to left-click-order troops around...

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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Tomb Raider: Underworld


It loving sucks?

I dunno what is wrong with this nonsense game. I am playing through the trilogy Legend/Anniversary/Underworld, and while Legend was clunky and had the most insanely terrible and literally impossible (on Hard) motorbike level, it was a good start with a fresh engine and was genuinely really fun in a lot of places. Then Anniversary was really good and fun and cool and sleek and I was loving STOKED for Underworld. Which has a wonderful, beautiful, impressive and bold first underwater level...

And then it stops being a good game. The puzzles are really boring, the level design is atrocious, the combat system is completely broken, the enemies are stupid (HOLY poo poo

SPIDERS

NO

IN EVERY LEVEL

they die in one hit so it's a complete and absolute nonissue but I am at like the 5th level and there is still SPIDERS HOLY drat with music cues and everything?!?!?!)

and the climbing/jumping/everything is terrible, like, what happened? Lara now has a walljump that works on just some random walls and some it doesn't, but I keep getting stuck on things because she jumps at them, not on them, and bounces off all physics-defying, mind-boggling, it's hilarious? It feels completely off and things happen at random, Anniversary was super tight, what is going on?

The game is glitchy beyond belief! Putting weights on floor switches, a common puzzle because Underworld does not have very creative puzzle design guys, is an exercise in frustration and merriment because the weights are programmed as soap cubes with severe bulimia, they slide effortlessly over the floor away from Lara, the pressure plate, reality.

I have just tried jumping to a column and Lara teleports twenty meters below and in front, pulls her self up a ledge someplace completely different, goes in her idle stance like


what


you have a problem with that




yes lara i do


something is not working out between us


YES IT IS YOU NOT ME

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Drunk Nerds posted:

Haha, it's cool to see a completely different opinion than mine. I've played through every single TR and I rate Underworld as the best. I loved how entire levels were incorporated into one big puzzle. I liked how they finally fixed the ridiculously janky play control. The second level was the worst, though? Maybe your bad experiences are mainly derived from that buggy, wall-jump dependent level? Probably not, your opinion is fair

I do think I romanticize the puzzles a bit too much. Thinking back, they are primarily "walk around clicking on poo poo until something does something," but I loved that Mexico puzzle, where I really had to sit down and think.

It's also funny to see the majority of my gamer friends love the reboot, while I scream THERE ARE NO drat TOMBS OR PUZZLES WITH MORE THAN ONE PART
I just got Thor's Belt and still think it's awful :v:. I actually really like the idea they had for the preceding level, especially after I got a heart attack as soon as I saw the motorcycle. Legend was SO bad with those.

To explain the level: It's built around a big stadium in the middle, which has two overlooking balconies on which puzzles are which require one piece each to start. You have to get those pieces in two extra mini-dungeons. There is no necessary order for you to do the pieces in, so you can explore and get the "keys" to the puzzle to then do the puzzle. It sounds pretty cool.

But now the motorcycle part comes in. You get it to drive around because the level is pretty big, requiring a solid 30 seconds to a minute of travel time from one setpiece to the next (to reiterate: puzzle key 1, puzzle key 2, puzzle "lock" 1, puzzle "lock" 2, stadium entrance. The paths look pretty samey, so it's not entirely clear where to go. As the level does not guide you, it is entirely possible to arrive in the stadium, faff around, see the puzzle on the balcony, drive to the puzzle, you can't do anything with it, drive to the next puzzle, can't do anything, drive around some more, find temple, find key, drive back to the puzzle...it's the wrong puzzle.

At the end, after you assembled everything, a huge contraption in the stadium opens up (if you solved both puzzles). But! The opening is timed, which is not entirely clear (I think). So I missed it the first time and it closed again while I was driving from puzzle to stadium. So I drove back to the puzzle...which remained solved...and I saw that the other puzzle had unsolved itself :suicide:. So another drive to the other side of the level, solve that puzzle again (exactly the same motions), then drive to the stadium in time to solve it.

Again, the openness of it all is pretty unique and I appreciate the mixing it up, but good lord did it take a long while to figure out where to go and what to do in which order while driving around endlessly (at least that worked fine). Other Tomb Raider puzzles could be similarily involved (solve one side, then the other, then the middle opens up, each requiring a climb/fight/mini-puzzle), but they usually were linear, so you had to do one side first. This is restrictive, but I think ultimately better if done well - it can easily seem to the player that he chose one side to do first of his own (because the way there was "easier" to find or "more obvious") without even realizing that this was, in fact, the only way to go. Constantly arriving at a central place again and again through different routes can be really amazing (many of the best Zelda dungeons do that), but if you have to do that (through the same routes), it gets pretty boring pretty quickly (the Water Temple!).

Simply Simon has a new favorite as of 17:00 on Apr 4, 2015

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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After having done a borderline obsessive stealth always run (on my first go, too...I might have problems) of HR, I played it again with my girlfriend and she actually forced me to just KILL people quite a number of times when it saved a lot of time doing so, so we both wouldn't get bored. It's actually not really a problem that you miss out on experience, I found. That's mostly because even with an somewhat even utility/kill skill split, you run out of useful skills about halfway through the game. Nobody needs an exact timer for when guards stop looking for you (especially if you a) never get seen or b) just ice the fuckers anyway), or that stupid Hacking: Fortify nonsense. If you stealth through everything and go for double knockdowns nonlethal super fuckery, you are probably done getting skills after the second level, because then you don't even need Armor or aim stability or whatever else combat skills there are. It works perfectly fine because it's not terribly well balanced, which is okay, it doesn't really need to be. In the skill department, at least. In the weapons department, however...

- the heavy fuckoff windup chaingun rifle is disgustingly useless unless you exclusively use it to mow down brainless armorless mooks that charge you, against anything even remotely resembling a threat it will just do no real damage for the payoff of being slow as poo poo, anchoring you down and possible overheating. It's garbage and I hate it.
- the plasma rifle is pretty loving cool. You get it before the final mission, which almost exclusively features unarmed civilians brainwashedly flailing at you. I don't want to use my plasma rifle to gun down those poor fuckers. The plasma rifle was used exclusively for the final boss and while it did okay there, I would have killed to actually KILL with it.
- any weapon discussion is kinda senseless anyway because you get a revolver that shoots explosions which kill gigantic fuckoff robots in three shots. It's ridiculous. It also invalidates the cool optional golden DLC gun.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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Krinkle posted:

I have no goddamn idea if wearing multiple +item find armor stacks. Or if they stack with a coin. They took away my item find stat from the statistics menu. But I still do it. Got me a predator face from the belltower invader that I wear with my belltower diapers.
Rest assured, they stack.

Also re: respawning enemies, go into the Covenant of Champions, and enemies will never despawn. That is not true for some guys like the red phantom who is the only source of the non-see through Aurorus set, who only ever spawn once. Which is nonsense, but that was fixed by the Scholar of the First Sin edition: you just find the set there somewhere.

Though it did bug me when after playing Dark Souls 1 a bunch, I realized that the last enemy of a never-respawning type (like boars and gargoyles) would always drop their items (not the tail axe for the latter, but the helm, halberd and shield, sometimes all at once) and then I played DS2 which doesn't have such a nifty feature :saddowns:.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Curdy Lemonstan posted:

Yeah thats true, 50 faith is specially a ng+ goal if you want the sunlight spear. It's a shame str/faith builds aren't more viable, that woghammer (Grant, right) you get from the paladin is great. It really is a shame that the split damage types are as useless as they are, some really cool weapons for faith are totally pointless because of it.

(Luckily demons souls is great for str/faith builds)
Don't beat yourself down, I made a char in Dark Souls just because I like Faith, I like clubs, I beelined for Grant and put point after point into STR and FTH, cosplayed as the paladin fucker...and realized that Grant is loving terrible. It's not in any way better than most other clubs but needs twice the requirements, it's WoG takes too long to cast (compared to, you know, casting WoG with a talisman) and repairing all the time sucks in DS1, and it's weirdly short for a fuckoff club. Don't use Grant.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
Bought Lords of the Fallen cheaply fully expecting it to be Dark Souls But Worse as people have been talking about, which it very much is, but fun enough. Still, at some points it really pisses me off because it tries so hard to be exactly Dark Souls and then misses the mark spectacularly.

For example, I just went into the Catacombs and beat the most boring boss in the universe, then I stand in its arena and have the following options:
- Door I came from
- Newly opened shortcut
- Giant door (closed)
- Small door (shuttered)

So I search everywhere for a lever, run circles around the catacombs, then decide I've had enough because the game seems to be a bitch again and look it up.

Turns out that I was NOT supposed to go into the catacombs right now, the door will open, but only after I was a good boy and did the main quest first. Never mind that the main quest tells me to go to the Graveyard (I think it did at least), and the door to the Catacombs is IN the graveyard; never mind that there is a SECOND door into the Catacombs from the first area. Hey, if you want your game to be excessively linear, unlike your ripped off source, then please tell me at the entrance of your apparently optional-until-later areas. Dark Souls 1 at least had the courtesy to put gigantic glowing golden doors with a clear "gently caress OFF UNTIL LATER" message in its similar spots, and those came way late and were pretty much the worst idea of the game.

Also:

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
I have no idea how to git gud in this miserable combat system. For example, there are dudes hiding behind shields like all the time, and on paper, you have a lot of options. Let's review.
- Circle around and backstab? Nope, their face is glued to yours. You can't roll around them like you could in Dark Souls, they snap towards you. Literally, there is no shuffling of feet here, they ALWAYS face you.
- Kick away their shield? Yes, like in Dark Souls, you have a kick move. It kicks away their shield. I attack immediately. They block. Either you have to use the fastest daggers ever invented to get that hit in after their shield is supposedly gone for a while, or I'm doing something really wrong.
- Evade when they're attacking, then counter? Good idea in general, but you can't really roll to the side of their combo (see: they snap towards you), the camera is really not well suited to you rolling around enemies anyway, and again, as soon as they're done poking, their shield is up instantly.
- Hit them again and again until their shield gets knocked away? Works, then you hit them once, then they immediately retalitate. Enemies in Lords don't have stamina bars. Also, hits with the biggest of hammers don't stagger completely unarmed enemies.
- PARRY? Hell yes the ultimate git gud move! Actually, this I had the most consistent success with, but the enemies do have a move that has maybe a tell, but it's really subtle if there even is one, then they ram their sword through you. It's so fast that it's really hard to parry, maybe you can't even parry it, and it deals a ton of damage. Not fun to have as a like one in five attack of theirs.
- but wait there is spells! Yeah, you can place a decoy. This works, kinda. Not in narrow corridors, but probably what is the intended way anyway (you start with the decoy). If they sincerely expect you to plop a decoy down for every single shield enemy, then that is seriously insane, though. You can (as Warrior, here) also cast Ram. This makes a ghostly you ram them. Deals damage (good) and knocks the shield away (great!). For how long? Uh, see the kick. loving...
Or you like one-shot them with Quake, which is The Big Spell. Cool, but I'll forsee this ceasing to work soon. Also, this is not a solution per se.

Still, exploring is kinda fun and it's an interesting puzzle to work around the limitations of how godawful the fights are.

The biggest insult, however, is an achievement called "The real Lords starts here".

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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You will be happy to learn that the writing is total dogshit. There's dialogue choices in the game which painfully remind me why it's such a good thing that you only get monologued at in Dark Souls.
Because - and this is a first to me - apparently the writers have no idea how a dialogue tree works, as the characters never talk to each other no matter what you pick. It's insane how much they ignore each other's comments. It goes something like this:

[Woman you met once before when she talked about using a dagger to open portals or whatever]: "Hello, fancy meeting you here!"

[Your choices]:
> What is a portal?
> Who are you anyway?
> Leave

[Woman]: "I'm here to collect treasure!"

[Your choices]:
> What is a portal?
> Who are you anyway? [yes, you can keep asking]
> Leave

[Woman]: "If I can decipher the runes on this dagger, I can open the portal!"


I can't decide if they wanted to be deliberately obtuse in a hilariously inept attempt to mimic Dark Souls' not-quite-there characters, or if they are just plain loving incompetent at writing because holy poo poo :psyduck:.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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RBA Starblade posted:

My favorite part about Lords of the Fallen is that there are quests that ask for healing potions in return for loot. Instead of giving the guy a chug of your potion and keeping the bottle like you would think you permanently lose a healing potion for something significantly less useful than more healing.
Hahahahahaha

I just got 500 XP for doing this hahahahahahahahahaha this loving game

Also:

Two soldiers standing there like doofuses.

[Soldier] Help! We stumbled into the doom portal running from our duties and now there's a loving demon in the way!

> You loving idiots, go back!
> Yes I'll kill the next boss, as if I had a choice
> What about this guy?

Who? I guess someone is lying off camera because framing these talking scenes is hard, guys!

[Soldier] Yeah he's loving dying. Got a health potion?

> I guess?
> No.

Yolo.

[Soldier] Thanks a bunch! *gives me loving 500 XP, the same a normal enemy gives...twice*

> You loving idiots, go back!
> Yes I'll kill the next boss, as if I had a choice
> What about this guy?

I...get to ask about him again? Seriously?

[Soldier] Yeah he's loving dying. Got a health potion?

> No.



I was seriously wondering if you could keep giving them potions, but no, you could just tell him to gently caress off over...and over...and over again. By the way:

> You loving idiots, go back!

[Soldier] We can't! Our commanding officer will do literally worse things to us than the millions of hosed-up demons surrounding us at this very moment! *one example walks by in the background all chill-like*


Oh well that settles that then. By the way, there is no way to kill the boss they're so afraid of at the moment, because the game forces me to backtrack OUT of the demon portal immediately by bullshit-locking some doors.

It's comedy at this point and I don't feel that deep into it already? I don't regret a cent I spent, this game is amazing.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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I am German. We usually respond with answers to questions asked of us that pertain to the question in question.


EDIT: unless you're called Angela Merkel

EDITē:

Simply Simon has a new favorite as of 19:38 on Sep 1, 2015

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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Don't try to gently caress with me here. I can see the other side!

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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lol if you don't sink 80 hours into a new MGS game per day

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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I think this is perfectly exemplified by the completely unironic "I don't have enough Fury" line.

You don't say :geno:?

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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The name alone is a loving problem. You have DIABLO the DEVIL IN SPANISH and BELIAL the LORD OF LIALS and ASMODAN the BIGGEST rear end IN TOWN. And Maghhhhhda.

My grandmother's coffee pals are called Magda. Come on!

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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RyokoTK posted:

It has a really good soundtrack. Both the retreads of classic songs and the new music totally own.
I generally agree, but there is a theme that is both fantastic and a huge failure:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g75HDyL2BGc
This plays in the final dungeon, and just listening to it on YT, it's great. The subtle variations the main melody gets with each repetition, the constant build-up, the quieter bits and the ridiculous climax at the end. Very good composition.

The problem: the final dungeon, as is to be expected, takes a while, and at least for me, when I'm playing something and figuring out puzzles, the music sooner or later turns into background noise. In this case, it's background noise that is very much not just a 5-second-loop of the same basic (if awesome) melody, but sure as hell sounds like one because all the subtle variations and the build-up are most certainly lost after the twentieth time you heard it fully. In a way, it's just too ambitious in what it tries to do and gets annoying surprisingly quickly. Just misses the point of videogame music.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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Inspector Gesicht posted:

I hate it when to get 100% you have to play a mini-game that is completely at odds with the rest of the game. I am one heart-piece short in A Link between Worlds because I can't win at Octoball Derby. Where the rest of the game has you fighting monsters and looking for treasure under rocks, here you have to learn a completely new skill-set. I have no idea how baseball works, but apparently it involves breaking pottery with balls you hit with your bat, and for every three pots you hit in a row a bird shows up, you hit the bird and you do this five times. Hitting a moving crab replenishes the broken pottery. There's probably a method to this but it's such a poorly thought-out mini-game that isn't fun or fair in the slightest.
I got moderately good at it because dem heart pieces, man - it does have consistent mechanics, they are just tough to figure out. It's badly designed like many similar mini-games in that it's only this game, no build-up or even a tutorial, so you have to spend a few failed attempts at the real deal just to learn how it even works. Even if those workings are generally fine, there's usual this one nuance that you will years later slap yourself for not knowing about because it would have made it so much easier or even enjoyable, but the game never told you. I recently bought OoT 3D as I hadn't gotten around to, and fishing is the same nonsense - I don't think it ever tells you that you can hold two buttons at once to reel in faster, that you can hit a button BESIDES left and right to lure fish in, and I still have no idea if holding down + A for the entire time the fish is on the hook is all you need to do. Because that takes forever, but the fish will never get away. Do I have to jerk left and right? Do I have to release the A button...or the direction?...when it jumps out of the water? Hell if I know!


If it helps: you have three "rows" you can hit with your ball, aiming up and down changes which row you hit. How much to the left or to the right you hit is solely dependent on timing; if you strike the ball early, it'll go far right, if you're late, far left (or the other way round, BASEBALL PHYSIX). That's the part that requires practice, practice, practice.

You did get when the bird appears, for that the game actually helps; if you're somewhere near the middle when the bird is there, you will hit it, and if you do a desperate hit to the far left as the bird is about to leave, it'll adjust itself a little, too. It's not as tight as for the pots. I think another trick is that the bird is in the "middle row", so you don't actually need to aim up (don't quote me on this though). Godspeed!

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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Grey Fox posted:

I was debating whether or not to take another stab at FXIII since it's on sale through Steam, but then I remembered why I quit the first time when I played on PS3: multiple hardlocks during long-rear end boss fights. I can't remember any big-name JRPG with as many technical problems as FXIII.

Never again.

edit: FFXIII, sorry
There is another reason to never again play FF13: it's really, really bad and boring and bad.

The Moon Monster posted:

Ori and the Blind Forest is pretty and good. For thread content: it lets you create a save point anywhere you want! Except for when it doesn't.

Circle of the Moon was probably the best GBA Castlevania by virtue of not being incredibly easy.
If it's ONLY challenge you're looking for then maybe, but drat Aria is amazing. Harmony is loving garbage though, holy poo poo. Inexplicably so, even, Symphony was weird and experimental but did so many things so well right away, Circle downsized the formula well and added tons of new stuff that would become staples (while still having problems, but don't get me wrong, I LIKE Circle), and from Aria on the CVs are just great, but Harmony sits in-between two very good games, and I played and played it and kept thinking what the gently caress am I missing? Why is this game such garbage? It's so bad, everything about it sucks.

Metroidvanias: seconding Ori, though it has some annoyances - mostly points of no return which lock you out of getting stuff, and after you beat the final sequence, the save file locks up telling you "this is beaten, good job", so even if you collected everything before the various other points of no return, you cannot ever go back to grind out a skill tree for an achievement or get the last few items you couldn't be assed to, and there is no NG+ either...it's so weird.

Guacamelee is also really fun, playing it right now. It's far more linear than most Metroidvanias (at the start at least), though, keep that in mind; I do feel like it's just about to open up (I'm getting towards endgame, I think, but there's a LOT of secrets just outside of reach), took a while though.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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MisterBibs posted:

I'm not sure if I'm just missing some information, but Super Mario Galaxy is dragging itself down because I'm stuck at 103 stars and I can't figure out how to get the rest. Based on what I've read online I'm missing some Comet stars (and no amount of comet rejiggering makes any appear) and some Stars I don't know how to access (purple coins?).

I want to finish you, game, loving let me :(
You did beat Bowser once, yes? Purple Comets don't start to appear until you have finished the game normally once, only then can you 100% it.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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Maxwell Lord posted:

"Skill too low" is such a common sight in Western RPGs (Even when using designated thief characters) I'm halfway tempted to make a lockpick focused build one of these days.
I want to see a character whose lockpicking is so loving good that they can walk up to enemy knights, lockpick them out of their armor and shank them in the kidneys.

one of these days

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Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

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I'm playing Deus Ex: Human Revolution right now and it's super clever that different actions are decided by if you hold the button or just tap it. It has also never misfired for me (or taken to long to do), so the length is incredibly well designed.

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