PYF Things Dragging Games Down: I keep getting distracted by his ass

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spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

This pretty much applies to most, if not all of the Telltale games (unsure about the Game of Thrones series), and is really my biggest problem with the "YOUR CHOICES WILL MATTER" poo poo the games pull

Whenever they give a supporting character a focused amount of character development, especially alone with the main character, they're sure to be dead by the end of the next scene. The worst of it is when you have "MASH X TO SAVE PERSON" and they still die because drama

Or they can just die off screen :shittydog:

So whats even the point of giving these guys character development if you're just gonna drop them into a pit of spikes in the next scene?

spit on my clit has a new favorite as of 16:39 on Mar 7, 2016

# ¿ Mar 7, 2016 16:36

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 06:50

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

the new-u station is non-canon

you know, literally the first thing you interract with at the beginning of the first loving game, is not canon to the story.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 02:58

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

moosecow333 posted:

Haha, what? How is it not cannon? It's mentioned all the time.

According to Anthony Burch, it just isn't, as far as the plot is concerned. (The BL2 wiki cites https://www.twitch.tv/destructoid/b/334353557 as the source for this, but this link doesnt seem to work for me.)

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 04:03

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Sleeveless posted:

I am by no means a fan of the Borderlands games but at this point Anthony Burch has become such a massive target of the Ethics In Games Journalism crowd that there's really no point in encouraging the kinds of people who have a weirdly encyclopedic knowledge of his every minor media appearance.

lol, did you even read the past few posts past "burch"

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 05:03

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Screaming Idiot posted:

If a game doesn't draw you in within the first ten minutes of gameplay, it is an objectively bad game.

lol

edit: yeah cause some good games don't have rough or slow starts like Borderlands, Dead Rising, Fallout (from 3 onwards), nah those are poo poo cause the first ten minutes don't define the rest of the game :shittydog:

edit 2: Something dragging down the Fallout series for me is that Bethesda emphasizes parts of gameplay, new or not, without really expanding on them. Customizable guns? Sweet, except you need to forage the wasteland for all the adhesive in the world to attach any modification to a gun, which is where the realism aspect of the scavenging is just, dumb. Another stupid part of customization is needing to upgrade the loving skills to upgrade your guns, and even though they tried to give a lot of the tiers of modifications different abilities like better crit damage, better accuracy and less damage, it doesn't loving matter because upgrading the damage output pretty much always curbs the other possibilities.

spit on my clit has a new favorite as of 18:58 on Mar 12, 2016

# ¿ Mar 12, 2016 18:40

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

man, s' been a while since I played xenoblade x, why did I ever stop?

oh. right. gotta explore 20% of the boring forest area, i've placed all the probes I can find, and the places where I can't place them are either because I can't fly or there's level 50 monsters loving everywhere keeping me from getting around to the areas that would let me place probes. guess IO can fight some tyrants..oh wait, it isn't raining on the fourth of august at 5:33 P.M. yet so I can't fight some of the tyrants that wouldn't just step on me

..I just want the giant robot, ok? I also wish I could reclass elma and lin because they're gonna be in my party the whole game (whether i want them in it or not), and they pretty much have all they're ever gonna have.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2016 06:21

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Thoughtless posted:

I played Dark Souls and beat the guy with the dogs (the trick is just stand on the stairs and he can't get you, pro strat right there)

People always told me that poo poo worked, but it doesn't cause the loving dogs can still get you

# ¿ Mar 15, 2016 16:14

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

kazil posted:

You're supposed to kill the dogs...

or you could just stand outside the boss room and throw dung pies

# ¿ Mar 15, 2016 17:52

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

(according to my brother) every level of Bro Force begins with two seconds of lag, because of the game auto saving.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2016 05:56

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Spinning Robo posted:

Bethesda can't be all that bad, Todd Howard just won a lifetime achievement award at gdc

please understand

# ¿ Mar 17, 2016 05:16

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Sleeveless posted:

PC gamers being autistic, what a surprise.

Pot calling the kettle autistic, what a surprise

# ¿ Mar 20, 2016 05:47

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

broforce

I guess I should have looked at the manual to know that I can run by holding R1, and that triangle is a melee button (melee bros are still poo poo)

also, give us Brobrobro Bro Brobrobro already, the joke makes itself

# ¿ Mar 20, 2016 17:47

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

2house2fly posted:

I'm not a big fan of the Batmobile in Arkham Knight and I'm hoping it's optional for most of the game. Who the hell thought gliding and zip-grappling around the city was insufficiently exciting?

That said I did like when i did my first Riddler challenge in the Batmobile and the Riddler said something like "if you don't have the brainpower to get how this race course counts a riddle I'm not even going to bother explaining it to you"

ahahahahahaha

# ¿ Mar 20, 2016 21:26

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

khwarezm posted:

Also TF2 was simultaneously released on consoles too.

and never got updated!

# ¿ Mar 20, 2016 23:10

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Hotline Miami 2 is a video game based off the premise that every single cartel in Florida, in the early nineties, really loved to make their houses out of glass

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 03:12

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

dear GOD, I'M REALLY GETTING TIRED OF ALEX LAGGING ROOMS BEHIND ME

In the console version, the AI seems to be less hosed up than I remember, and then I play it on PC, suddenly everything breaks! Some enemies just phase through walls and murder me, Alex is a loving shithead who needs to get his head in the game, and I still really loving hate how the Pig Butcher did nothing at all that mattered to the story

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 15:20

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Parrying is bad in every souls game

ALSO HEY GUESS WHAT, the motherfucking capra demon runs up the stairs! So many years I kept hearing "jus run up the stairs bro", but he just runs up there or does that loving lunging attack. I still killed him, but man it is still the least fun boss fight in any dark souls game, even counting the smelter demon

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 23:05

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Oh, I could have just thrown a bunch of dung pies over the fog gate

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 00:39

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

dark souls can be very boring when you keep going through the same area, ignoring all the enemies, just to die thanks to the awful physics that this game has

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 04:09

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Nuebot posted:

Blight Town or Crystal Cave?

Catacombs. Blighttown was easy, except for the toxic assholes, but at least they do not respawn.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 04:47

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Nuebot posted:

My favorite thing about the Catacombs is that you only get one skull lamp. So, say, one guy drops it then you get gangbanged by skeletons and die? Well good bye lamp.

One skull lamp? I got about two or three from those necro-jerks..Huh, seems that there is a crow I can trade things to, too. Sweeeeeet?

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 07:07

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

kazil posted:

You run up the stairs so and then block his attack or dodge it. When he inevitably falls the gently caress off, plunge attack that poo poo.

Capra sucks but he's hardly worse than Bed of Chaos or Demon Firesage or Moonlight Butterfly

Moonlight Butterfly wasn't hard, actually. A lil tricky, but for the most part I could just roll away from the attacks..The annoying part was waiting for it to come to me so I can smack it with the best weapon in the loving game (the club), but then I remembered that I'm a pyromancer

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 16:12

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Sens Fortress is one of the worst areas in any souls game, on par with the Iron Passage in Dark Souls 2. It's so bad.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 00:00

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

RyokoTK posted:

git gud

I did

Did you know that the firebombing giant will toss that poo poo at you while you fight the iron golem? I did not.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 02:13

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Oh yeah I forgot about the part of anor londo with the two black knight greatbow snipers surrounding you on a narrow path surrounded by a death pit, thats some good :darksouls:

design right there

Nuebot posted:

They're silver knights. This means they respawn.

why

spit on my clit has a new favorite as of 22:59 on Apr 6, 2016

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 20:47

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

StandardVC10 posted:

Borderlands 2: Something was bothering me about Handsome Jack and I think I figured out what it is - guy is just a Mary Sue of villainy. He's a sadistic psychopath who also believes he's the good guy, who runs this galaxy-wide trillion-dollar empire yet also has time to belittle you personally every three minutes, and basically has every single thing in the main story happen as Part Of His Plan until the exact moment you actually get to shoot him. He might work better as a character if he wasn't all of those things at once, or if he was at least shown to be capable of mistakes.

Well, he didn't kill every Claptrap, that's a big mistake

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 22:20

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

My Lovely Horse posted:

Might be my playstyle but Assassin's Creed IV sure likes to give me tutorial missions on things I've been doing for hours at that point. "Edward, come look at this Mayan stele I found, I wonder if-" - "yeah you climb up and do some stuff and dig a hole, wanna see my Mayan stone collection?"

Either lock that stuff away until I get to the mission or just give me the context for how it works in the setting when I find my first one. I'm expecting a mission that teaches me about assassination missions any minute.

I think you'd like Dunkey's video detailing perfectly why the series sucks as a whole

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 14:02

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Jesus christ, were you the person those morons were targeting.

He's just a trite, unoriginal and painfully boring try-hard. He never does anything against anything you care about.

You know how to make you hate him? Have him lock one of your weapon slots or take a rare drop. Because no-one gives a poo poo about the boring characters in those games, because everyone is in the game for the guns.

lol

On the topic of dark souls, welp, I got cursed, guess im never touching this game again

# ¿ Apr 7, 2016 23:51

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

khwarezm posted:

Well that was... weirdly hostile, I guess I think they succeeded in making a villain somebody you want to kill really badly while also being kind of funny to listen too, mission accomplished I say.

I notice people on this forum have a really, really heightened reaction to BL2, whenever it gets mentioned somebody is sure to bang on about how bad and horrible the plot is and its all unfunny, trying too hard 4chan memes etc with terrible repetitive combat. I don't think its a great game by any means but I enjoyed more than I expected too, I can't remember any actual memes that it uses for humor, there's lots of fun guns, great enemy variation and some actually funny moments, its also one of the few games I can think of that tries to uses its mechanics as a source of the humor, which is nice, if only for the effort. Just don't play on the new game+ modes.

And yet people praised Janey Springs, who was the worst part of the Pre-sequel because any time you were around her, she had to remind you that she is into females and that she HAD A GIRLFRIEND but now she doesnt so she will hit on literally every female in the game.

If she had any other defining character traits than "Is a lesbian", I'd be fine with her, but it really feels like she can't go three lines of dialogue without mentioning she is a lesbian

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 02:35

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

HaB posted:

Be glad you aren't playing the original release where Curse used to stack up to 3x, meaning you could be running around with 1/8th health before you got a cure.

why

Also, it was in the Big Hollow..Great Hollow? Whatever the place connecting from the Blighttown Swamps is called.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 15:05

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Oxxidation posted:

Handsome Jack was a really poor, lazy villain and one of Tales from the Borderlands' greatest achievements was taking a pile of "smug badman" Mad Libs and making an actual character out of it.

Enter the Gungeon is heaps of fun but man, the key/ammo starvation hurts. The layers of RNG get irritating fast in a lot of ways, but one of the worst for me is how chests keep dropping these useless accessories instead of weapons. The game's all about guns. Stop giving me rings with a "chance" to resist fire damage and give me guns.

Hey now, the pilot has an item that has a chance to open chests!..Or it could break the lock, making you unable to open it even with a key. The bosses are also boring

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 21:12

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

ya know, sometimes its just fun to run around and shoot things with super flashy guns and dumb abilities

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 03:05

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

why does sword wolf have one attack

please stop spinning around with that sword in your mouth

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 17:36

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

FactsAreUseless posted:

Canonically, Sif thinks that you're Artorias and just wants to play.

well I just set him on fire..a bunch

now my question is: why can i not roll through these ghosts, they are ghosts

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 20:56

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

The four kings wouldn't be so bad if there were a quicker shortcut to them than going through the valley of the drakes, and then either fighting or running past all the darkwraiths. The darkwraiths are not the hard part, but fighting two of the drakes is because they keep zipping and zopping across the field (I just run past the four at the end with my shield up). Sometimes I hit the darkwraiths, except I did my 2handed club strong attack right into their loving grab that does about 40% of my health in damage, and I guess it has super armor or something!. Then I get to the four kings and oh boy I pretty much got immediately grabbed and then jabbed to death. Fighting about two of them at once, and they can both grab me. I thought you were able to mash R1 and L1 out of grabs?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 22:15

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Action Tortoise posted:

if you got the stone armor in darkroot, it should have some resistances to help you during the four kings fight. also if your flame is strong enough, try using great combustion on them.

I'll go look for that stuff!

Mazerunner posted:

Have you not brought back the firelink shrine keeper yet? (assuming she died for you) If you have, start at firelink and take the elevator down (make sure to send it back up) and there's... a jump you can do, somewhere, that will get you real close to the boss room. There's some darkwraiths but you can just run and roll past them.

If you haven't brought her back, go check out Anor Londo, near O+S. Toughish fight but worth it.

I didn't like that sunlight guy, so I kicked him off a cliff at the shrine. Otherwise I would have let him live :v:

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 22:32

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Mazerunner posted:

A+ good work.

Here's one shortcut not the one I used but looks alright.

Here's the one I used, just gotta watch out for that last knight.

If you've got the power within pyromancy from blighttown that really helps. Drains HP (slowly) but does a big damage boost. The safest place against the four kings is actually kind of right next to them, I think? I don't know your build but having a greatshield + heavy armour to tank, and then just wreck them quick with pyromancy is a good strat. If you keep attacking during the death animation you'll continue to do damage to the overall health bar.

I've got the mask of the child, giant armor +5/4/2 (chest, hands, and feet, respectively), club+10, grass crest shield and black knight shield. Ring of favor and protection + (usually) havel's ring, but for this it's the required ring

FactsAreUseless posted:

How are you dying enough to Four Kings to get annoyed about the run back?

I am very bad at dodging grabs, it's a "git gud" thing.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 23:04

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Krinkle posted:

What level are you? If you're on pc I have like eight different guys who might be able to help. 4 kings gets easier with a friend, a friend who isn't beatrice the NPC witch who basically does nothing. She's great vs. the butterfly but terrible vs. the kings.

I'm soul level 50. Man leveling up in this game takes a lot

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 23:27

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Krinkle posted:

I have level 48 and a level 67 neither is big on fire weapons but I'm willing to give it a try. Are you playing on steam? krinkle8

Yes, i'm BillmasterCoz'b

# ¿ Apr 9, 2016 23:56

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 06:50

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Slime posted:

And video game grenades are loving useless. They call them frag grenades, but there's no loving SHRAPNEL. It's not a frag grenade if there's no goddamn fragmentation.

Dragging all games down, grenades loving suck and often aren't worth using in the limited amounts they're given to you.

They're great in GOTY every year Payday 2

# ¿ Apr 23, 2016 23:43

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