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credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Alpha Protocol

I haven't fired a pistol since I was like ten years old, out near a mountain with my father. I don't remember being very good at it, of course, but after a couple practice shots I was able to knock the beer bottles off the wooden plank, maybe thirty feet away.

I'd like to think that if I were say, a trained spy, I might be able to hit a target five feet away from me. Like, a target the size of a human. I mean, I'd like to think little ten year-old credburn might even be able to do it. But not this Agent Myopia von Blindman whose target reticule takes up a third of the loving screen.

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credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Ugly In The Morning posted:

...Have you put points in pistols? Chain shot lets you either drop six bodies or put six rounds into someone's forehead. Like, the pistol skill is the "easy mode" skill. Even early on, just let the crosshairs settle and you can one-hit KO anybody.

I know this. I know about chain-shotting and waiting for the reticule to narrow. I just mean, outside of using a special ability or waiting the 4-8 seconds to line up a perfect shot, aiming the gun at a target that's a few feet in front of you shouldn't have such a wide margin of error. He has his hand extended and the gun pointing forward; it's not like he's trick-shotting it from behind his back. He should not miss. Ten year old credburn would not miss (although to the agent's credit, ten year old credburn probably could not pull off a chain-shot.)

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Leal posted:

Yeah, its silly in games with point allocations (often finite) outright punish you for not putting some points in certain skills by making your character a functional retard when it comes to that one thing...

In Alpha Protocol, you don't even get better with more points put into it. You do more damage and you can get more neat abilities and when you're lining up a critical hit it reduces the time it takes, but the base-line aim-and-shoot combat never changes.

I have other problems with this game, but I am playing an almost entirely stealth-and-melee build and I'm fighting this loving coke fiend and it seems like this entire level is punishing me for not putting all my points in assault rifles. All I have is my pistol and my fists, and he annihilates me in combat and is a crack-shot from the other side of the room.

:argh:

Nuebot posted:

So my friend convinced me to try LISA and it's an interesting game, except for one massive, massive problem. It randomly just lags the gently caress out and decides to consume ridiculous amounts of CPU. Like more CPU usage than Final Fantasy XIV. It reached a point earlier where there was a minute between me hitting the right key, and the character visibly moving. I timed it. This game seems to be loving unplayable for some reason.

I have similar issues. The game is almost unplayable on my laptop. Even worse, often the game will freeze for a few seconds, but it is actually still playing, and Brad is still walking in the last direction I was pressing, so all too often when the game returns to motion I discover Brad walked off a loving cliff and I just lost forty minutes of progress.

:argh:


edit: :argh:

credburn has a new favorite as of 12:18 on Aug 4, 2016

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Baron Corbyn posted:

If you go do the Taiwan missions, you'll make a friend who can help with that.

Well, nuts. Was that articulated in any way? Though I could see it was offering me the choice, I was doing these missions in the order in which they appeared.

I don't want to have to redo this mission. I'll just keep slogging away at this coke fiend with the one song on his iPod. I almost beat him; had him down to a sliver of his health and I went into fury and started wailing on him, but he did this sort of running-away animation and crying about something and became invulnerable and I thought a cutscene was beginning so I stopped fighting, but no, he turned around and shot me.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

poptart_fairy posted:

LISA strikes me as one of those games where the difficulty is just ridiculously excessive and any actual enjoyment is memetic.

That game never did click with me.

That's part of the charm. LISA is a miserable game, in a miserable world with miserable characters and it's right that you should feel miserable playing it. I slept in the wrong spot and one of my party members ran away. I slept at another bad spot and he was kidnapped. When I went to get him he was executed and they cut my arm off. Now I don't do nearly as much damage and my party is made up of useless weirdos. I want to give up, go home, and take enough joy to burn out of existence, and thus I've reached a level of empathetic singularity with Brad. A beautiful game.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

HaB posted:

pubbies.

What is this? Are pubbies random people you play with online?

I tried playing Counterstrike online, once. The very first thing I did was mute the screeching homophobia ratcheting through four dollar microphones with the gain maxed out and possibly the microphone actually INSIDE their prepubescant mouths. But they were multi-taskers; they weren't just spewing it over the voice thing, they were also spamming the chat thing with it. I know, I think this is a tired cliche, Counterstrike people being eleven year old homophobes, but I had no idea. I was really taken aback. I played with a few friends sometimes, but -- and this isn't just Counterstrike; I only use that example because it was the worst offender, but really any game that allows random people to play with each other. I feel like I'm part of an endangered species of men whose balls have dropped but still want to play video games.

Edit: Oh, wait, the point I'm trying to make here, is "pubbies" like, someone who plays on a public speaker, or does it have something to do with puberty, or lack thereof? Because I think it could go either way.

Or you're talking about a pug / pitbull mix, maybe.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

HaB posted:

people who stream their music over voice chat

People do this? Are there any people who are ever grateful this bitch is broadcasting his music to everyone? I can't imagine it sounding good, unless it's being channeled in right from the computer and not via speaker - to - lovely microphone.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Well that sounds marginally acceptable.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

I absolutely loathe Earthbound but I adore Lisa and Undertail.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

I finally got Dark Souls, after hearing everyone gush about it for so long. I'm not very far into it -- I just encountered a dragon who did a quick drive-by gently caress-you after I finally beat the boss of that level. That part was fine.

I understand this game is hard, but one thing I keep hearing is that the game is kinetically sound, like, the combat is very solid, that it feels natural and it's refined like no other game before it. But I'm not getting that. All I'm feeling is that combat feels like Mortal Kombat, in that I've already hit the button and now I have to wait for my guy to finish the move, even if I've changed my mind and oh poo poo need to do something else, fast. I hate having to use a lock-on system, since I'm using a computer, but the mouse+keyboard support for this game is balls so I'm using a controller. The controller is fine, I can manage that, but the lock-on seems to pick the absolute least likely enemy I want to lock on to. I'm being charged by a skeleton with a spear, I'd better lock on to the other loving skeleton in the floor below where I can't even loving see him and now I'm dead.

I appreciate a hard game. In fact, I love that this game is kicking my rear end. The last several years of video games have been so loving pampering that it's frustrated me to no end. So I want to relish in a real challenge. My problem is, I just don't get it. This game doesn't feel "refined" to me. It feels broken. Combat feels slow and clunky. I find combat in games like Skyrim, Mount and Blade, and even the very old Severance: Blade of Darkness game to have a more refined combat, more kinesthetic, more...I don't know. Am I doing this wrong? How can I have fun like everyone else?

By the way, I'm talking about playing single-player. I haven't even delved into multiplayer shenanigans, yet.

credburn has a new favorite as of 13:31 on Aug 8, 2016

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Huh. Thanks for the responses, guys. I'm sure there is a good game here once I get past this hurdle. You may be on to something about the button mashing. I'd like to think I'm more methodical than that, but...well...maybe I'm not. Also, I thought the lock-on thing was a necessity. It didn't occur to me NOT to use it.

I will continue to hone my Dark Souls skill and hopefully it will make sense, soon.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Tomb Raider. The presentation and the graphics and the voice acting and the animation is all really great. Top notch. Fantastic. But it annoys me that this is called "Tomb Raider," because it shares nothing with the classic couple games that launched this franchise save for the protagonist's name and the vague idea that you're venturing into caves and poo poo.

I know, Tomb Raider had spent a long time being the poster child for awful ideas and even worse execution. It came around again with Tomb Raider: Legend, though. That game brought the franchise back with new graphics and a new engine and what felt like the new generation of Tomb Raider.

But this game, oh, it is constantly annoying me. I grew up playing Tomb Raider 1, 2, 3, 4. My friends and I would gather around the computer and agonize over some of the puzzles. It has a lot of nostalgia for me. Plus, you know, we were like 11, 12, 13 in those years and we all kind of lost our puberty to Lara.

This new Lara just looks like a normal girl.. Where is the cartoonishly proportioned Lara I remember? This is a minor complaint; at 30 years old I could give a poo poo if my on-screen avatar has a huge rack or not. I'm only marginally annoyed by it because it's another reason this game just slapped the Tomb Raider title on it.

The biggest fault, though, is the single mechanic that defined Tomb Raider: the climbing! Tomb Raider was built on a blocky grid, and if you look at it now it looks like Minecraft. But at the time, you know, it was pretty sweet. Maybe we had to use our imagination a bit. But what was true back then and still true is that in those early games, you could climb on pretty much anything. It all sort of looked the same, but that helped articulate this mechanic; you learned by jumping and climbing around what Lara could and could not climb on. You could see that if the slope had such-and-such an angle it was no good. You knew if it was 90 degrees, you were fine. This allowed you to solve some puzzles in ways that were clearly not specifically designed for the task. Not to say the developers overlooked it, but they probably saw it and left it in, because you know what, being able to solve a puzzle in multiple ways is fantastic loving game design.

Not in the new Tomb Raider, though. Oh boy, if you take one step off the rigid loving path the game built for you, you're either going to run into an Under The Dome style invisible nothing, or just instant death. Hey, how come I can fall 25 feet over here and take a little damage, but if I hope four feet down over here I instantly die? Oh, it's just because this entire world is a loving corridor with holographic walls giving you the illusion that there's a world to explore. There loving isn't.

You know what else was great about the old Tomb Raiders? Leaps of faith. The game provided you with the tools to understand the environment and then it let you loose in it. There were sections where you could see that there was going to be an awkward jump, and if you missed you were going to die, but you could see that there was a ledge, and you could calculate that if Lara can jump this high and she jumps at this spot, she should be able to grab the ledge. And then you're rewarded with a feeling that you just solved a puzzle, or that you were confident in your understanding of the game to do this, that you had some skills at this game, that you were doing something. In the new Tomb Raider, you don't have to loving think for a loving moment. You can't walk off cliffs because an invisible wall keeps you from doing it. You know specifically where you can jump to because some helpful loving birds flew by and took a big white poo poo all over the specific spot that says HEY IDIOT HEY YOU loving IDIOT YOU CAN JUMP HERE OKAY RIGHT HERE DO YOU SEE THE BIG WHITE SPOT GLAD I COULD HELP YOU loving DUMBASS. But like I said earlier, with old Tomb Raiders, you learned by repetition; you learned that if you found this kind of ledge or texture you could utilize it. So, unfortunately I still have this mindset of puzzle-solving, rock-climbing old-school Tomb Raider in my head and so if I think, huh, okay, Lara can jump this high and she can climb on this ledge and, oh look, there's a ledge right there I can jump to but OOPS I DIDN'T CHECK FOR WHITE BIRD poo poo SO LARA CAN'T loving GRAB THE LEDGE BECAUSE THE DEVELOPERS DIDN'T PROGRAM CHOICE OR EXPLORATION INTO THE GAME,

I'm really enjoying the game for what it is. It's a well executed linear thriller through a jungle. The cinematography is great. It's a fine game. But it pisses me off that it's called Tomb Raider. Tomb Raider you are not, god drat it.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Walton Simons posted:

trle.net might tickle your fancy, there's still a surprisingly active modding scene for the PS1-era games (about half a dozen levels a month) and the best thing is that you don't need to own the original games, they're all self-contained .exes.

I picked a random one from the hall of fame and it was pretty good, I really got the feeling that I was playing something that could have slotted into a Core Design TR. The only thing is that they're made for and by people who are still seriously into Tomb Raider nearly 20 years on so just like the originals, they can be loving hard with red herrings and jumps that need to be perfect. Thankfully, they all have walkthroughs.

What what.

I never knew such a thing existed. Holy smokes, I've got to check this out. Thanks for the heads up!

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Biplane posted:

It's crazy how Nintendo still manage to gently caress things up every time they release a new mariokart. Literally just remake mario kart 64 with new graphics and more maps, how hard can it be?

MK64 was a huge disappointment. The karts felt slow, sluggish,. The 3D experience wasn't that fantastic. I wanted the speed and goofiness of the original. I briefly played Double Dash and that was pretty terrible, too. The only Mario Kart I've enjoyed since the original was the one on the DS. It wasn't great, but it was passable.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

The illusion of population size really falls apart when you get really into the immersion level like in Elder Scrolls games. Morrowind felt right with its sparse population because it was like this frontier town on this lovely volcano island nobody wants to live on, anyway. But then you play Oblivion, which takes place at the heart of the entire Tamriel and there's like all of three hundred people that inhabit it (4,500 people if you count bandits in caves.)

There's a part in Skyrim where you and your "army" go and take down a city. Really immersive if you don't actually look around and see that your entire "army" is all of eight guys.

My girlfriend says this is intentional, that all RPGs are meant to be abstract and kind of representative, so that while you might see only a single person, he's meant to represent an army of hundreds or thousands. I can buy that in, say, a JRPG or something where you're looking down at a bunch of doiky doik sprites doing their happy little thing, but not when it's something as intimate as Elder Scrolls.

Also, distances. Again, with Morrowind this was fine because it was kind of a bitch to get from one place to another so I GUESS some people might settle in these other areas. It's a stretch. But in games like Oblivion or even Fallout 4, it's like, these settlements or even entire towns are founded literally a five minute walk from one another. This is again something that's easy to make abstract in something with an overworld as in JRPGs, but not a game where you are a physical presence and where you have a very distinct, measurable feel of moving from one spot to another.

Now Daggerfall, that game had it right. You want to walk from one town to the next, it's going to take you loving days. That's how to do it.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

im pooping! posted:

im pretty sure games dont do that anymore because its boring af

Yeah bro, that's what I'm talking about. Life is boring.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

loving chibi anything. I want to enjoy this game, but I can't pretend that this hypersexualized two year-old looking character is anything but a hypersexualized two year-old.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Oh -- I apologize for my ignorance. I didn't realize chibi had a broader definition. I love Bubble Bobble. I'll throw down over Bubble Bobble.

Anyway, what bothers me isn't just the creepy pedo chibi. It bothers me when they're supposed to be adults or maybe just older children but with their fat heads and huge eyes and fat arms and fat legs and squat bodies they look like babies. And then they're given stiletto heels and a two-piece leather outfit and it goes from being obnoxious to very uncomfortable.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

I really adore the art and setting of The Banner Saga, and the battle system works great except for one single thing which ruins the entire thing. The game is set up to where you take a turn, then the enemy takes a turn, no matter how many guys you have on your side or their side, and the game still adheres to an order of unit action. This makes the battles go all kinds of bonkers, requiring obscenely bizarre strategies in order to win, but ultimately it means that your low level guys become absolutely worthless.

I'm at a point in the game where most of my units are level 5 or so, and we just ran into a story-driven thing where we obtain two more units, which are level 1. Well, what am I supposed to do with them? A unit can ONLY gain experience if that unit deals the killing blow, and since these guys are level 1 and facing off against high level enemies, this means I have to do this really awkward whittling down of enemy health and then move my level 1 guy in to attack (and then watch him immediately get knocked out the next round for the same reason.)

One really weird way of exploiting this, also, is if I only have two guys on-screen at a time, and I have one of my guys far away from battle, then my other single guy can make an attack every other round, while the enemy has to cycle through their long roster of units. It means my relatively low-level guy can wail on a high level hard to kill unit every other turn, maybe five times before the other guy gets a turn.

This battle system loving sucks. It makes no sense and it requires strategy that is weird and unintuitive. Adding low level units to the battle only messes up my unit order at this point. I'm better off without them, since I will never be able to level them up.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

The Banner Saga is a fine game otherwise. The battle system is not especially complex. A single tweak would fix everything -- to not force staggered turns between you and the computer. I get wanting to do something different than all the other SRPGs, but this simply doesn't work.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Tiggum posted:

If laziness were the true answer, they'd just have said that there's no sexual dimorphism in Argonians and used the same model for males and females.

And anyway, the 2D paper doll thing from Daggerfall featured boobie lizards, too.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Red Dead Redemption is kind of a medium-GTA-dense sandbox game where you can run important people over on a horse, carriage, or train.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Jesus Christ man I'm at work

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Rigged Death Trap posted:

Hint most cod players dont even select single player

Since that is the case, what is the draw for people to buy a new game every single year? We played Quake 3 for ten years straight. What "new" things are they bringing each time around that entices people to renew their games? I just can't imagine there's a great deal that needs refining. I've been told this, but since I don't play any of these games I can't really say, but does it really seem like they whip up a quick and dirty single player campaign solely for the excuse of selling a new game, instead of just adding new multiplayer content?

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

CJacobs posted:

...a whole new game that starts you at level 0 so you can climb the ranks again...

Call of Duty has levels?

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

dordreff posted:

Just started playing Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell. Aside from the obvious flaw of having to play as Johnny Gat, one of the worst and dullest characters ever created, the flying controls are absolute loving garbage.

Don't worry, you'll only have to deal with it for about two hours. Then the game ends.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Persona 3. I am digging you, but the inability to see what monsters are going to attack you and the possibility that if they cast a spell that is contrary to your current persona's strength it can kill you in one hit is really loving making me not want to play anymore, God drat it. Forty-five minutes of easy breezy running through a dungeon, not even getting hit but a handful of times, never even needing healing, and then oh here's just your everyday run of the mill bad guy, whoops I missed my attack, and then uh oh killed my main character who, unlike every other party member cannot be resurrected for no loving God drat reason at all GOD drat IT.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Nuebot posted:

Are you playing the portable version that lets you control your party members? Or the original where you can't? Because oh man the original is great about fighting a guy that's immune to fire and unless you specifically analyze the enemy to learn it's immune, your dudes will just sit there casting fire on it forever.

Playing it on my girlfriend's PS2. I actually really dig games where your party members act on their own, but yeah, gently caress, sometimes it's just stupid.

I was trying to fight this boss for the longest time. He would cast a light-spell instant-death thing, and also had a really powerful wind attack. It was a sucky combination because the only persona I had that was immune to light magic was weak to wind, so it was kind of a toss-up which method the fucker would use to kill me. But what was REALLY annoying about it is that wind magic just healed him, and since it's a boss, it can't be analyzed, and I ran into this weird AI hiccup where if Annoying Girl cast a wind spell on it (which healed it) she would then sit out the rest of the battle and do absolutely nothing. No healing, no combat, nothing.

Also: How hard is it to hit a sentient table? How do you miss that?

credburn has a new favorite as of 01:36 on Nov 12, 2016

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Action Tortoise posted:

I think even if u can't read their info just scanning bosses should prevent your allies from using the wrong elements.

either that or you're gonna have to change everyone's tactics one by one to make sure the wrong element doesn't get casted.

Scanning a boss reveals nothing about them. Essentially, the only way you're supposed to know what not to use against a boss is just trial and error.

The only way to stop this bug was to change her tactics before she had her first action, which sometimes didn't work because the boss starts by attacking and if that knocked me down, then I didn't get a turn and can't change her tactics and by then anyway, I guess, it's all a clusterfuck.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Dragon Quest Builders, Chapter 01: Well, this seems awful tedious. It's like Minecraft but really limited, and what a terrible camera. At least this has the Dragon Quest charm to get me through four hours of monotonous materials-grinding.

Dragon Quest Builders, Chapter 02: Do it all over again.

Dragon Quest Builders, Chapter 03: Do it all over again.

Dragon Quest Builders, Chapter 04: Do it all over again.

Dragon Quest Builders, Chapter 05: Do it all over again.

It's like five games in one!

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

Tyranny is the game that prompted this post but it was even worse in Pillars of Eternity: if my party's detected a trap, they really should just walk around it instead of barreling straight into it. My guys keep helpfully informing me that they've spotted a trap as they sprint headfirst into it.

This reminds me of Neverwinter Nights, when you pair with a thief and he actually will shout, "There's a trap!" and the dude changes direction to charge into it. He's going to try to disable it, but the game doesn't understand its own 3D environment very well so the guy will usually just run right onto it, setting it off.

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

When Girlfriend moved in she brought her PS3 with her so I'm finally getting around to playing these Uncharted games. They're fine, except that I am getting so loving angry at the way it teaches me something and then punishes me for learning it.

Game: Hey, if you see a ledge that looks like this, you can climb it. Nathan Drake can climb on ledges! Try it!

(later)

Game: Uh, but not that ledge. Not that one, either. No, not that one. Uh, no. Wrong. Haha you keep dying!

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

muscles like this! posted:

Edit: Also the time dog was definitely a later addition as when I played it at release you could only time travel once you got to the very end of the game.

What is different now? Can you use the dog to go backwards?

To contribute: Final Fantasy XIV and quests involving teleporting. Look, I've killed gods. We've saved the entire world. We have toppled nations. If you want someone to teleport to the other side of the world and fetch you a seashell, you can get a kid trying to pay for college to do it. Do you understand the power we hold, this ability to teleport at will? WE CAN TELEPORT AT WILL. This is not a power that should be used to fetch you a loving seashell.

credburn has a new favorite as of 00:05 on Sep 22, 2020

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Oxxidation posted:

mafia 3 is such a hacked-together piece of crap that it barely runs on anything you dare to download it into. it's a glitchy mess on pc, playing it on ps4 turns the room into an airport tarmac, and it's one of a scant handful of games that's not fully compatible with ps5

it's a completely unremarkable open-world crime-em-up, what the hell is making it behave this way

It's not a glitchy mess on my PC :colbert:

Edit: except when it does crash, which it occasionally does, it won't release my desktop back to me, and I have to like shut the entire computer down because the task manager is hidden behind Nothing

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Captain Hygiene posted:

*the Goodfellas 'Layla' scene except it's goons finding out their computers are crashed or locked up*

Oh n-

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

I want to complain about all these games I'm seeing labeled as "isometric". Many of them are 3D, which that alone is entirely disqualifying of that label. Most 2D games that have the isometric label are absolutely not isometric, either.

But I guess that's how language evolves. If enough people make mistakes, eventually it just becomes the new definition. But it loving infuriates me. Maybe irrationally so :\

And I also don't like it when games have a "turn-based" label but what they really mean is that you can pause it. Nobody loving looks up "turn-based combat" seeking real-time-with-pause.

credburn has a new favorite as of 02:35 on Jan 23, 2022

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

2house2fly posted:

Tim Cain has complained before about people calling the original Fallout games isometric. "They're cavalier oblique!"

Oh man, the pedant I was in the year I pursued architecture as a viable / not completely fantastical career choice would have loved this poo poo

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Philippe posted:

I don't like that you go into third-person sometimes. Far Cry is usually pretty good at not doing that, and they beef it in 6. I know they want you to see the cool clothing and backpack designs, but still. My immersion = ruined.

I can't really think of any game that is in first person that I ever appreciate transitioning to third. I guess I get it when driving vehicles (though truly I prefer driving in first-person) because it helps with understanding the space around you but like, why do I need to be in third person when mounting a stationary gun? I don't gain anything by being able to also see the back of my head.

Any shooter that has a third-person perspective inevitably just distracts me with character movement. Some "weighty" feeling games, like say Dark Souls does a better job of this, but if a character moves fast like in a shooter, their legs are always just doing their own weird thing independent of the torso, trying to navigate the terrain around it and it looks terrible. Every single time it looks terrible.

credburn has a new favorite as of 20:37 on Jan 29, 2022

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Doctor Spaceman posted:

The Jedi Knight games switch from first to third person for lightsaber stuff and it helps a lot since first person melee rarely works well.

Ugh yeah but it also looked terrible in third person. You get a torso that moves basically according to where you're facing and what you're doing but your legs are just noodling out underneath you like a Cthulhu spazout

Kingdom Come had really good first-person melee.

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credburn
Jun 22, 2016

Kit Walker posted:

Warframe has you in third person and it never bothered me, but you'll also be flying through everything like liquid mercury so there's little time to stop and wonder if your flesh golem looks weird walking

In first person or third person any time I play Warframe all I see is light

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