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Ballz
Dec 16, 2003

it's mario time



TURN OFF AVATARS AND SIGNATURES WHEN YOU READ THIS THREAD... AND PROBABLY EVERY OTHER THREAD TOO

Previously on the Game of Thrones Episode Thread



We all kind of took a vacation from effortposting last week, but now I am back to continue my ways of plagiarizing borrowing elements from Game of Thrones OPs of old and making them look like something new.





Thread History (h/t In It For the Tank)

Season 1: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - Ned Head Redemption - Early Episode 7 Thread
Season 2: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - Shadow Baby
Season 3: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - Dracarys - The Red Wedding
Season 4: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - The Purple Wedding - White Walkerpalooza




Episode 4.07 of Game of Thrones airs on HBO on May 18, 9pm EDT.

NO SPOILERS, NO BOOK TALK, AND FOR THE LOVE OF THE RED GOD NO TALK ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF SPOILERS AND BOOKS
Any questions about the books can be sent by PM to
Toast Museum
Revenant Threshold
Ballz
Carlton Banks Teller
Max
The Kawaiiest
Hedrigall

We know our stuff.



Recap, rewritten/edited from the GoT wiki:

The Dreadfort

When we last saw Yara Greyjoy she had gathered 50 of the best fighters of the Iron Islands and taken her fastest ship on an expedition to rescue her brother, Theon Greyjoy from the clutches of Ramsay Snow at the Dreadfort. Now nearing her destination, she reads to her men the letter sent by Ramsay, which threatened to flay all Ironborn who do not leave the North.

While Ramsay has rather violent sex with Myranda inside the Dreadfort, Yara and her troops land and scale the walls of the castle. They quietly take out the guards as they search for Theon, whom they eventually learn is being held in the dog kennels. There, the Ironborn and Yara see Reek sitting in a cage. Yara opens the cage, but Reek refuses to go with her, believing it is another cruel trick played by Ramsay.

Several Bolton troops enter along with Ramsay, who is wearing nothing but plot armor. A fight ensues with several Bolton and Greyjoy soldiers killed. Reek, insisting his name is and always has been Reek, bites Yara and cowers in his cage. Ramsay releases his hounds and Yara is forced to retreat to her ship. When one of the ironmen asks of Theon, Yara answers by saying her brother is "dead."

Back at the Dreadfort, Ramsay allows Reek to take a bath as a reward for his loyalty. Reek fears the bath is another trick, but Ramsay assures him it is not. As Reek bathes, Ramsay asks the poor creature if he loves him and after a brief pause, Reek admits he does. Satisfied with the answer, Ramsay tells Reek of his plans to assault and recapture Moat Cailin, which is currently being occupied by the Ironborn and preventing Roose Bolton's army from returning to the North.

Ramsay tells Reek he needs his help in recapturing the fort by dressing up and pretending to be someone he isn't: Theon Greyjoy.




Braavos

Stannis Baratheon and Ser Davos Seaworth visit the Iron Bank of Braavos in hopes of securing funds to aid Stannis' war effort. At first the representatives from the bank reject their request. One of the bankers, Tycho Nestoris, points out Dragonstone's weak position and is ready to dismiss them when Davos speaks up, relating how he came into Stannis' service, how Stannis is a just man who keeps his word, and how he is the best chance for the Iron Bank to get its money back after the chaos that would follow the eventual death of an elderly Tywin Lannister. This seems to convince Tycho and his colleagues, as they agree to fund Stannis.

A short time later at a bath house in Braavos, the pirate Sallador Saan is enjoying a joke with some lovely young ladies when they are interrupted by Davos, who informs Sallador that they will be sailing with Stannis at sunrise. Sallador begins to object, but Davos throws him a package of gold coins from the Iron Bank, noting that more money waits at his home.


Meereen

On one sunny day outside of Meereen, a goat herder and his young son are peacefully tending their livestock on a hill. To pass the time, the son begins throwing some rocks off the hill. Crack a rock goes as it tumbles down the cliff. Crack goes another. Crack. Crack. Thud.

Uh oh.



Hello there, Drogon. Dany's baby is not amused with the boy's rock tossing but his attention is immediately drawn to the flock of goats. The dragon sets fire to the field behind the boy and kills the flock, taking one of the goats with him.

In Meereen, Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons now rules from her very own and very impressive throne room in the Great Pyramid. Dany has proven she can conquer, now she must prove she can rule, and holds a day to meet supplicants and hear their requests.

The first supplicant is the the goat herder, who lays the charred remains of his flock before the Dany, hoping to not anger the queen, as he believe she sicced the dragon on him as some sort of punishment. Daenerys apologizes about Drogon's actions and promises to pay back three times the dead livestock's worth.

After the goatherd departs, Hizdahr zo Loraq presents his petition: the right to bury his father's remains in the Temple of the Graces, as he was one of the Meereenese Great Masters crucified on Daenerys's orders. She counters that he was one of the masters that crucified the 163 children. Loraq reveals that his father actually spoke out against the crucifixion of the slave children (he was overruled), but was killed due to Daenerys's "justice" anyway. Somewhat mollified, Daenerys allows him to bury his father.

After Loraq leaves, Daenerys asks how many more supplicants are waiting. Missandei answers that there are over 200 more. As the gravity of what it means to rule begins to settle in, Daenerys orders the next supplicant to come forward.


King's Landing

At a meeting of the Small Council, Tywin tells the councilors that his son Tyrion's trial will begin that afternoon. We have some new faces on the Small Council: an eager-to-please Lord Mace Tyrell of Highgarden and a rather sleepy Prince Oberyn Martell of Dorne. In other orders of business, Lord Varys informs Tywin that The Hound has been spotted in the Riverlands, and Tywin orders a bounty on his head.

Varys also speaks of Daenerys' conquest of Meereen, and that she is being advised by Ser Barristan Selmy, formerly of the Kingsguard and Ser Jorah Mormont, formerly of the underground Westeros slave trade. While Selmy's new-found allegiance is a reminder of the late King Joffrey's boneheaded move to "retire" the aging knight, Jorah's case is more intriguing to Tywin. Mormont was originally a spy for King Robert, and was ordered to have Daenerys assassinated way back in season 1. In return, the exiled knight would be granted a pardon and allowed to return to Westeros. But something happened after that order was given. Daenerys still lives, now has three dragons and an army of Unsullied, all the while Jorah remains at her side. How long will it before she sets her eyes on the Iron Throne, they wonder.

After Varys confirms his "little birds" can make their way into Meereen, Tywin orders Mace Tyrell, the newly-appointed Master of Ships, to take command by fetching the Hand of the King a quill and some paper.

In the dungeon, Jaime Lannister has Tyrion shackled and brought into the throne room to begin his trial. King Tommen recuses himself from the trial, appointing his grandfather Tywin, Oberyn, and Mace as judges.

Several witnesses are called for the prosecution, including Ser Meryn Trant, Grand Maester Pycelle, Queen Regent Cersei, and Varys, all of whom give testimony backing the accusations against Tyrion. Tyrion seems none-too-surprised by the witnesses, although Varys' betrayal is disappointing. Varys once told Tyrion he recognized Tyrion's actions had saved King's Landing at the Battle of Blackwater. Tyrion meekly asks had Varys indeed forgotton those words?

"Sadly, my lord," Varys replies, "I never forget a thing."

At recess, Jaime asks Tywin to spare Tyrion, offering to break his oath to the Kingsguard and return to Casterly Rock, to be the Lannister heir. Tywin quickly accepts, telling Jaime that Tyrion will be allowed to join the Night's Watch after being found guilty of Joffrey's murder, provided he pleads for mercy. Jaime is to then immediately leave for Casterly Rock.

Before the recess ends, Jaime speaks with Tyrion and urges him to beg for mercy and allow himself to take the Black. Tyrion is deeply distrustful of the offer, remarking that Ned Stark was promised the same thing and yet still lost his head, but Jaime pleads with his brother to trust him, insisting that their father will keep his word.

As Tyrion mulls the offer, the trial resumes and Tywin orders the next witness to testify: Shae.

Being disappointed in Varys is one thing, but now Tyrion is visibly upset to see his lover had not left King's Landing at all, but now stands before the judges, ready to betray him as well.

Shae testifies that Tyrion and Sansa planned Joffrey's murder together, claiming that Sansa wanted vengeance for the murder of her father, mother, and brother. She tells the judges of Tyrion's sexual desires, embarrassing him in front of the crowd. She admits that she was Tyrion's whore...



and that Tyrion made her call him "My Lion." Shae adds that upon marrying Sansa he became enamored with her, but she wouldn't let him into her bed... which is when Tyrion promised to kill Joffrey for her.

Before she can continue, Tyrion, enraged beyond sense, angrily demands that he be allowed to confess his crimes.


TYRION: I saved you. I saved this city. And all your worthless lives. I should've let Stannis kill you all.

TYWIN: Tyrion! Do you wish to confess?

TYRION: Yes, father. I'm guilty. Guilty. Is that what you want to hear?

TYWIN: You admit you poisoned the king?

TYRION: No. Of that I'm innocent. I'm guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I'm guilty of being a dwarf.

TYWIN: You're not on trial for being a dwarf.

TYRION: Oh? Yes I am. I've been on trial for that my entire life.

TYWIN: Have you nothing to say in your defense?

TYRION: Nothing but this: I did not do it. I did not kill Joffrey but I wish that I had! Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores! I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.

TYWIN: Ser Meryn! Ser Meryn! Escort the prisoner back to his cell!

TYRION: I will not give my life for Joffrey's murder and I know I'll get no justice here. So I will let the gods decide my fate. I demand a trial by combat!




    Glossary

  • Andals – The primary people of Westeros
  • The Blackwater – A large river flowing from the Westerlands until it meets the sea at King's Landing
  • The Brotherhood Without Banners – A troupe of bandits harrying Lannister forces in the Riverlands
  • Children of the Forest – An extinct supernatural race that previously inhabited the North.
  • The Citadel – The headquarters and school for the Maesters.
  • City Watch – The organisation responsible for keeping the peace in King's Landing
  • Crannogmen – The isolationist people that live in the swamps of the Neck.
  • Dorne – The lands governed by House Martell, traditionally isolationist from the rest of the Seven Kingdoms
  • The Dothraki – A tribe of warriors renowned for their skill at horse-riding
  • The Drowned God – The primary God worshipped by the Ironmen
  • Essos – The eastern continent across the Narrow Sea
  • The Faceless Men – A league of assassins from Braavos
  • The First Men – The humans that settled the North.
  • Ironmen – The inhabitants of the Iron Islands, famed for their ships and pillaging tendencies
  • The Kingsguard – An order of seven knights who dedicate their lives in service of protecting the King
  • The Maesters – An organisation of learned men, identified by the chains around their neck
  • The Night's Watch – The organisation responsible for guarding the Wall
  • The Old Gods – The nameless Gods worshipped by the northmen
  • R'hollor – The Lord of Light, a deity primarily worshipped in the Free Cities of Essos
  • The Red Priests – The collection of monks that worship R'hllor
  • Sept – A temple of the Seven
  • The Seven – The most popular faith in Westeros, the seven Gods are: the Father, the Mother, the Smith, the Maiden, the Warrior, the Crone and the Stranger
  • Slaver's Bay – A trio of cities in Essos known for being the prime players in the slave trade
  • Small Council – The body of advisors to the King that aids him in running the realm
  • The Unsullied – A legion of slave soldiers that have been castrated and trained to ensure absolute obedience
  • Valar Morghulis – Traditional greeting in High Valyrian, literally means "All Men Must Die"
  • Valyria – The original homeland of the Targaryen dynasty
  • Weirwood – A white tree with blood red trees, a place of worship to the Old Gods
  • The White Book - aka The Book of Brothers. A ponderous tome filled with the 300-year history of every member of the Kingsguard
  • Wights – Raised corpses controlled by the White Walkers, impervious to all harm save fire
  • Wildfire – A dangerous liquid that catches alight when exposed to air
  • The White Walkers – Mysterious creatures who live north of the Wall, highly dangerous
  • Wildlings – The unorganised savages who live north of the Wall


Maps of Westeros and Essos (All new pics, click to embiggen)



(that last map by theMountainGoat and Tear, modified by EccoRaven)

Useful Resources

HBO viewer's guide
http://viewers-guide.hbo.com/

TVIV Spoiler Thread for Winter Children who have read the books
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3570018

A Song of Fire and Ice book thread (aka The Bad Thread but let's not kid ourselves, we all know what the real Bad Thread was)
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...40&pagenumber=1

Westeros Forums (wiki contains spoilers!!!)
http://asoiaf.westeros.org/

AVOID COMMENTS

Show only wiki (still fills in lots of blanks using the books)
http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/

History and Lore of Westeros: Season 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSuXBVv4ppY

History and Lore of Westeros: Season 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b93mfEI2Kb0

History and Lore of Westeros: Season 3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es3VVgFq9nQ


The Rains of Castamere (The National) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozVcbIc5yWI
The Rains of Castamere (Sigur Rós) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3QW8PVyyNM


The Bear and the Maiden Fair (The Hold Steady) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3b7fZIT0nk
The Bear and the Maiden Fair ( version) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARfQtFKQtZo




A fond look back at Tyrion's past crimes

Ballz fucked around with this message at 16:30 on May 18, 2014

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Ballz
Dec 16, 2003

it's mario time



Character Guide

King's Landing


Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage)
The Imp, Master of Coin. Last Seen: Mad as hell and not going to take it any more.


Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance)
The Hand of the King. Last Seen: For once not being the man with the plan.


Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau)
Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, no sword-hand. Last Seen: Suddenly hoping those sword lessons with Bronn will pay off


Tommen Baratheon (Dean Charles Chapman)
Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, bastard born of incest and protected by his loyal Kittenguard. Last Seen: Recusing himself so he can attend a tea party with Lady Whiskers.


Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey)
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, Tommen's mother. Last Seen: Having to name a champion.


Mace Tyrell (Roger Ashton-Griffiths)
Patriarch of House Tyrell, a fuckup in everyone's eyes but his own. Last seen: Just happy to be part of something.


Margaery Tyrell (Natalie Dormer)
Betrothed of Joffrey Tommen, skilled at politics. Last Seen: Putting Sticky Paws tape on all the furniture


Olenna Tyrell (Diana Rigg)
The Queen of Thorns, don't got no time for jibber-jabber. Last Seen: Noooo don't leave us.


Loras Tyrell (Finn Jones)
The Knight of Flowers, one-time lover of Renly. Last Seen: Trying desperately not to fall asleep during the trial.


Bronn (Jerome Flynn)
A sellsword and a knight, loyal to money. Last Seen: Saw her get on the boat, did you?


Varys the Spider (Conleth Hill)
Master of Whisperers, a eunuch who never forgets. Loyalties unknown. Last Seen: Forgot where he parked.


Shae (Sibel Kekilli)
A prostitute, origins unknown, Sansa's hand maid. Last Seen: Et tu, Shae?


Not Shae (Not Sibel Kekilli)
Sansa's other hand maid, totally obvious spy. Last Seen: Spoilering Cersei on season 4.


Pycelle (Julian Glover)
The Grand Maester, not as frail as he looks. Last Seen: Oh, like we didn't see that betrayal coming.


Lancel Lannister (Eugene Simon)
Pretty like a girl, has a stupid name. Last Seen: Umm... so did you like, die or something?


Meryn Trant (Ian Beattie)
Knight of the Kingsguard, slayer of the greatest swordsman who ever lived. Last Seen: A grub in fancy armour... who can memorize events word-for-word, apparently.


Kevan Lannister (Ian Gelder)
Tywin's brother and trusted advisor. Last Seen: Oh who are we kidding, he's not coming back, is he?


Olyver (Will Tudor)
Ros with a penis. Takes care of the place while Littlefinger is away. Last Seen: Negotiating with a Prince.


Oberyn Martell aka The Red Viper (Pedro Pascal)
Second Prince of Dorne, friend of all the ladies... and some gents. Last Seen: Sitting in judgment.


Ellaria Sand (Indira Varma)
Oberyn's paramour, definitely not Shae. Last Seen: Planning to invite Cersei for a girl's night out.


Qyburn (Anton Lesser)
A disgraced Maester. Last Seen: Advising Cersei to put some aspirin between her knees.



Dragonstone


Melisandre (Carice Van Houten)
The Red Lady of R'hollor, mysterious and powerful. Last Seen: Getting schooled by an 11-year-old girl.


Selyse Baratheon (Tara Fitzgerald)
Queen of Dragonstone, batshit loco. Last Seen: Still in the running against Lysa Arryn for Mum of the Year.


Shireen Baratheon (Kerry Ingram)
Messed up face, still cute as a button. Last Seen: As Davos' muse.



The Riverlands


Arya Stark (Maisie Williams)
A very dangerous girl... now with a Needle and a pony! Last Seen: Waterdancing her way into Sandor's heart.


Sandor Clegane (Rory McCann)
The Hound, scarred as a child by his brother. Last Seen: In armor with Needle a big loving sword.


Gregor Clegane (Hafthor Julius Bjornsson)
The Mountain that Rides, brutal SOB. Last Seen: In season 2.


Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie)
A strong woman talented in battle, well known for her lack of beauty. Last Seen: Letting her armor down.


Podrick Payne (Daniel Portman)
Tyrion's squire, surprisingly badass. Last Seen: Well, badass when it comes to non-squire related things, anyways.



The Vale


Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner)
Tyrion's wife, a hostage. Last Seen: Out of the frying pan and into the fire.


Lysa Arryn (Kate Dickie)
Catelyn's baby sister, Lady Regent of the Vale and nuttier than a fruitcake. Last Seen: A master of exposition.


Sweetrobin Arryn (Lino Facioli)
Lysa's sickly, equally crazy son. Last Seen: Wondering what other expensive, irreplaceable gifts he can toss out the Moon Door.


Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish (Aidan Gillen)
Lord of Harrenhal, suitor of Catelyn as a child. Last Seen: Knows how to get the ladies screamin' :bigtran:



The Dreadfort


Roose Bolton (Michael McElhatton)
Robb's bannerman, supports flaying prisoners. Last Seen: Looking to replace the carpets at Winterfell.


Reek (Alfie Allen)
Pet of Ramsay Snow, not even a man. Last Seen: Doing research on who this "Theon Greyjoy" fellow is.


Ramsay Snow (Iwan Rheon)
Bastard son of Roose Bolton, loving psychopath. Last Seen: Rewarding loyalty.


Yara Greyjoy (Gemma Whelan)
Theon's sister, a fearsome warrior. Last Seen: That wasn't exactly the most fearsome of retreats, Yara.


Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen)
Heir to the Iron Islands, captured and killed by the Boltons. Last Seen:


Myranda (Charlotte Hope)
Ramsay Snow, but with boobs. Last Seen: Forgetting the safe word.



The North


Ygritte (Rose Leslie)
A wildling, obnoxious but in a good way. Last Seen: Creating a potato famine.


Tormund Giantsbane (Kristofer Hivju)
A wildling, owns a magnificent beard. Last Seen: Killing (time) with the Thenns.


Styr (Yuri Kolokolnikov)
Heavily scarred Magnar of Thenn. I fuckin' hate Thenns. Last Seen: Growing a mustache that he can twirl.


Osha (Natalia Tena)
A wildling, guardian of Bran and Rickon. Last Seen: Heading off on the most silent journey ever.


Rickon Stark (Art Richardson)
Bran's little brother, loves walnuts. Last Seen: Saying the most things he has ever said on this show.


Gilly (Hannah Murray)
A wildling, first-time mother. Last Seen: Rewatching Boardwalk Empire for tips on raising kids in brothels



The Night's Watch


Jon Snow (Kit Harrington)
A bastard by birth, mouth perpetually open. Last Seen: Paid the Iron Price for the title of Fookin' Legend of Gin Alley.


Samwell Tarly (James Bradley)
A steward of the Night's Watch, total loving goon. Last Seen: loving up. As always.


Grenn (Mark Stanley)
A ranger of the Night's Watch. Always Seen: Looking stupid.


Dolorous Edd (Ben Crompton)
A ranger of the Night's Watch, kind of sarcastic. Last Seen: Surprisingly good in a fight.


Alliser Thorne (Owen Teale)
Acting commander of the Night's Watch, really hates Jon. Last Seen: Accidentally inspiring loyalty.


Maester Aemon (Peter Vaughan)
Blind, ancient maester who was heir to the Iron Throne in another lifetime. Last Seen: Planning an election.


Janos Slynt (Dominic Carter)
Incompetant ex-Commander of the City Watch, exiled to The Wall. Last Seen: Hanging with his new BFF Alliser.


Potato Boy (Brenock O'Conner)
Only surviving member of the Potato Clan, likes potatoes and archery. Last Seen: Taking the Black.


Pyp (Josef Altin)
Steward of the Night's Watch, Jon's buddy. Last Seen: I'll be with you in spirit, guys.


Bowen Marsh Othell Yarwyck (Brian Fortune)
First Steward Builder of the Night's Watch, has fewer lines than Rickon Stark. Last seen: "Even the OP doesn't know who I am."



North of the Wall


Bran Stark (Isaac Hempstead-Wright)
A cripple and a warg. Last Seen: One does not simply warg into Hodor...


Jojen Reed (Thomas Brodie-Sangster)
A crannogman, blessed with green dreams. Last Seen: Bitchin' hand flames, bro.


Meera Reed (Ellie Kendrick)
A crannogwoman and a skilled fighter. Last Seen: Oh thank the gods that didn't happen, but let's have 20 pages of rapechat anyways!


Hodor (Kristian Nairn)
Hodor hodor hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor. Hodor hodor: Ho... hodor? Hodor!


Mance Rayder (Ciaran Hinds)
The King Beyond the Wall. Last Seen: Still looking for those matches... any day now, buddy.


Rattleshirt (Edward Dogliani)
The Lord of Bones, a wildling. Last Seen: So that's what he looks like!


Oh poo poo (Richard Brake)
Oh poo poo! Last Seen: Ohhhhhh poo poo!



Mutherfuckin' Braavos


Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane)
The rightful heir to the Iron Throne, dour as gently caress. Last Seen: Letting his Hand do the talking


Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham)
The Onion Knight, a seasoned smuggler. Last Seen: Making mad bank.


Tycho Nestoris (Mark Gatiss)
Representative of the Iron Bank, not easily swayed. Last Seen: Getting easily swayed.


Salladhor Saan (Lucian Msamati)
A pirate, married four times (minimum). Last Seen: Working on his standup.



Meereen


Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke)
Last survivor of the Targaryen dynasty, the Mother of Dragons. Last Seen: Getting cushions for her bench.


Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen)
A knight in exile, permanently friend zoned. Last Seen: Eyeing the clock, hoping he doesn't miss Happy Hour.


Barristan Selmy (Ian McElhinney)
The former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Last Seen: C'mon, you're gonna make him stand? Give gramps a chair!


Daario Naharis (Michiel Huisman)
Commander of the Second Sons, an aesthete. Last Seen: Getting Dany a shiny new navy for her Name Day.


Kovarro (Steven Cole)
A Dothraki bloodrider. Last Seen: Recast as "Dothraki Extra #4"


Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel)
Handmaiden and translator to Daenerys, formerly a slave. Last Seen: Just making the translations up as she goes along


Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson)
Commander of the Unsullied. Last Seen: Involved in stupid exposition.


Hizdahr zo Loraq (Joel Fry)
A Ghiscari noble of Meereen. Last Seen: Showing Dany the world's not so black and white.



Neither here nor there aka Who knows when we'll see these guys again


Edmure Tully (Tobias Menzies)
Lord of Riverrun, colossal fuckup, prisoner of the Freys. Last Seen: Uncaging the monster


Brynden Tully (Clive Russell)
The Blackfish, Catelyn's uncle. Last Seen: Turning down ladies, taking a leak


Walder Frey (David Bradley)
Lord of the Twins and I guess now Riverrun too, an old man with lots of descendants. Last Seen: Heh.


Black Walder (Tim Plester)
A Frey. Last Seen: In the goofiest loving cap.


Lame Lothar (Tom Brooke)
A Frey. Last Seen: Did we really need two of you?


Gendry (Joe Dempsie)
One of Robert's bastards, ex-blacksmith's apprentice. Last Seen: paddling in a circle outside King's Landing.


Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer)
The Lightning Lord, repeatedly brought back from the dead. Last Seen: Lying to himself.


Thoros of Myr (Paul Kaye)
A Red Priest of the Brotherhood. Last Seen: Off on a lion hunt.


Anguy (Philip McGinley)
A member of the Brotherhood, highly skilled at archery. Last Seen: Can't even catch a little girl.

Ballz fucked around with this message at 02:12 on May 19, 2014

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

You can catch me just lion around the forums!


Ballz posted:


Tommen Baratheon (Dean Charles Chapman)
Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, bastard born of incest and protected by his loyal Kittenguard. Last Seen: Recusing himself so he can attend a tea party with Lady Whiskers.

SPOILER TAG THAT poo poo MOTHERFUCKER. Cats who have only appeared in the books so far are spoilers!!!!!!!

Mortabis
Jul 8, 2010


Nah man Lady Whiskers got mentioned when SER POUNCE showed up.

net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011



You wasted your time

OldSenileGuy
Mar 13, 2001


Look I get the whole wanting to make the new thread early so you can be the op (wait no I don't), but it's getting a little out of hand.

kater
Nov 16, 2010



I still don't get why everyone on this show is so pale. It'd be cool if Theon was the only one sickly white because he's locked up all forever, but no everyone looks next to dead. Summers last for years, get a loving tan already.

Stonefish
Nov 1, 2004

Chillin' like a villain

Working in the field is for peasants
Dany and Jorah have been outdoors for years though. They should look positively mediterranean by now.

Azzents
Oct 19, 2010

"Quoting, like smoking, is a dirty habit to which I am devoted."


kater posted:

I still don't get why everyone on this show is so pale. It'd be cool if Theon was the only one sickly white because he's locked up all forever, but no everyone looks next to dead. Summers last for years, get a loving tan already.

Historically, a lot of highborns and lords were pale because they didn't have to slave away in a field under a blazing sun all day. Seeing as how a lot of the characters are highborn it makes sense that they're pale as heck.

MadMadi
Mar 16, 2012



Oh hey this thread is open again.

Thank you for the effort post op. I for one enjoy these.

MadMadi fucked around with this message at 06:28 on May 18, 2014

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon


Yeah, I appreciate the OP too.

My PIN is 4826
Aug 30, 2003



Fallen Rib

The thread is dead, long live the character guide!

a.lo
Sep 11, 2009



the defender of the vale seems completely crazy holy moley!!!

Durzel
Nov 15, 2005



Azzents posted:

Historically, a lot of highborns and lords were pale because they didn't have to slave away in a field under a blazing sun all day. Seeing as how a lot of the characters are highborn it makes sense that they're pale as heck.
You'd think even just factoring the time the actors are outside that Emilia Clarke would've picked up a decent tan by now, it's like she's actively avoiding it for continuity or personal reasons? Bit of a observation though I'll admit.

Kitiara
Apr 21, 2009


Dany doesn't burn in a fricking funeral pyre, what's a bit of sunlight going to do?

Jack the Stripper
Feb 9, 2014

Your local cheese loving, wooden shoes wearing drug addict.


Awesome OP! You clearly put a of effort into it, good job.

Duncan Sperguson
Apr 21, 2010



*destroys scroll wheel*

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

You can catch me just lion around the forums!


Fans of Hearthstone might appreciate this: http://imgur.com/a/GZYp6

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax


Hedrigall posted:

Fans of Hearthstone might appreciate this: http://imgur.com/a/GZYp6

I feel like the dragons are missing a buff because 5/5 for 5 mana is way too low both in term of game balance and show continuity. I don't care how awesome a swordsman Ned once was, he could not solo a loving dragon.

kater
Nov 16, 2010



The Dragons are tokens summoned by their three eggs which are summoned by Dany. The mana cost is just something demanded by the game, and really it should be 11 so that there's no other way to summon them but through the eggs.

Also Ned and probably anybody could totally take a sword to one of their heads as they are right now.

Now excuse me I need to go take a shower because goddamn.

EccoRaven
Aug 15, 2004

there is only one hell:
the one we live in now


I like EffortOPs, not the least of which because I am in them.

Earthorn
Jul 18, 2012



Kitiara posted:

Dany doesn't burn in a fricking funeral pyre, what's a bit of sunlight going to do?

A Dragon doesn't (sun)burn.

Ballz
Dec 16, 2003

it's mario time



EccoRaven posted:

I like EffortOPs, not the least of which because I am in them.

It was a really helpful map, and the OP needed some new maps in the worst way. Thanks for posting it.

Glad y'all liked the OP, and sorry about the premature threadjaculation. If I do any more OPs I'll save 'em for late Saturday night.


And not to put a damper on things a bit, but no new episode next week (Memorial Day in the States), so you're stuck with this thread for the next two weeks. Please be gentle with it.

Skyl3lazer
Aug 27, 2007

[Dooting Stealthily]





Hedrigall posted:

Fans of Hearthstone might appreciate this: http://imgur.com/a/GZYp6

Yeah OK Bran is retarded RNG enough to make it a perfect hearthstone addition.

mike-
Jul 9, 2004

Phillipians 1:21


That's pretty interesting, I don't think they have let Memorial Day stop an episode before.

DoctorStrangelove
Jun 6, 2012

IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!



Durzel posted:

You'd think even just factoring the time the actors are outside that Emilia Clarke would've picked up a decent tan by now, it's like she's actively avoiding it for continuity or personal reasons? Bit of a observation though I'll admit.

Sam spent a year north of the wall and is still fat.

DISCO KING
Oct 30, 2012

STILL
TRYING
TOO
HARD


More than just one, man. It's been at least a year per season if not more. Jon was 14 when this all started. Arya was 12.

EDIT: OP related- I love effortposts but SA really needs to incorporate those /spoilers which expand and retract. Maybe I'll post about it in the suggestion thread (like the million other people, probably).

DISCO KING fucked around with this message at 17:47 on May 18, 2014

Ballz
Dec 16, 2003

it's mario time



mike- posted:

That's pretty interesting, I don't think they have let Memorial Day stop an episode before.

Nope, they started doing it last season, because the battle of Blackwater aired on Memorial Day the year before and nobody saw it.

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.




Did we stop taking gifs of (in)appropriate moments and putting them in threads / the op? I miss those

marktheando
Nov 4, 2006



Napoleon Bonaparty posted:

More than just one, man. It's been at least a year per season if not more. Jon was 14 when this all started. Arya was 12.

EDIT: OP related- I love effortposts but SA really needs to incorporate those /spoilers which expand and retract. Maybe I'll post about it in the suggestion thread (like the million other people, probably).

Hahaha 14? They aged up most of the child characters. There's no way show Jon Snow is under 20.

CPFortest
Jun 2, 2009

Did you not pour me out like milk, and curdle me like cheese?


Yeah, the Game of Thrones wiki states that Jon is about 17 when the series starts.

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005

by XyloJW


I thought this was as long boring OP free zone? What gives for the fake out? Is this revenge for all the spoilers?

kater
Nov 16, 2010



marktheando posted:

Hahaha 14? They aged up most of the child characters. There's no way show Jon Snow is under 20.

Isn't Jon's whole plotline like "Yer a man now, so get out"? He turns 18 and is sent to the wall. Which I guess would make him like 22 now?

DISCO KING
Oct 30, 2012

STILL
TRYING
TOO
HARD


CPFortest posted:

Yeah, the Game of Thrones wiki states that Jon is about 17 when the series starts.

(It's because of THE SEX)

Clarification: I'm a filthy book 1/2 reader.

DISCO KING fucked around with this message at 18:08 on May 18, 2014

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax


Hobohemian posted:

I thought this was as long boring OP free zone? What gives for the fake out? Is this revenge for all the spoilers?

Sadly its only a poll free zone. The long boring OP is necessary to remind viewers who Jaime, Jon and Reek are since apparently show watchers are retarded.

(and also to remind people of Osha and Rickon, two characters who will never, ever be seen again)

DISCO KING
Oct 30, 2012

STILL
TRYING
TOO
HARD


According to the book wiki () Robb dies when he's 16. Hella time dilation up in this bitch.

marktheando
Nov 4, 2006



Irish Joe posted:

Sadly its only a poll free zone. The long boring OP is necessary to remind viewers who Jaime, Jon and Reek are since apparently show watchers are retarded.

(and also to remind people of Osha and Rickon, two characters who will never, ever be seen again)

Did you miss all the posters who didn't know who Locke was when he showed up at the wall? It does serve a purpose, most viewers can't keep track of all the characters. My parents both watch the show and whenever I discuss it with them I have to explain who various characters are and what's going on.

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax


marktheando posted:

Did you miss all the posters who didn't know who Locke was when he showed up at the wall?

TBH, I didn't know who Locke was when he showed up at the wall, either. It took Bran two seasons to get from Winterfell to the Wall, so the last thing I was expecting was some random Bolton lackey to do it in an episode.

Pleasant Friend
Dec 30, 2008



That reminds me, how long as Arya been traveling with the Hound now? It must have been almost a year in-universe. How has she not killed him yet, she can't be trying very hard.

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marktheando
Nov 4, 2006



Irish Joe posted:

TBH, I didn't know who Locke was when he showed up at the wall, either. It took Bran two seasons to get from Winterfell to the Wall, so the last thing I was expecting was some random Bolton lackey to do it in an episode.

He must know the best routes to take, like Mellisandre who can travel to the other side of the continent from Dragonstone in about an episode.

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