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TunaSled
Jun 4, 2003



Jetfire posted:

"Did you know that MY CLIENT Oberrrrrryyn MarTELL defeated the MOUNTAIN's ssssstreak at King's LANDING?" - Tyrion E. Dangerously


Shadow posted:

My god.

This thread needs a new episode.

Badly

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Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax


DoctorStrangelove posted:

He's chilling in a cave some where smoking weed with Thoros of Myr, Blackfish Tully and all the other characters the show has completely forgotten about.

This sounds like the "Elvis and Tupac are alive and eating at Dennys" I heard all the time about in elementary school.

DoctorStrangelove
Jun 6, 2012

IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!



Elephanthead posted:

A Mel Brooks parody of GOT with Tracy Morgan playing every character is now my not secret fantasy.

I vaguely remember hearing that Tracy Morgan made a commentary track for season 2 and sold it for some charity thing. I don't know if he actually did and if it is possible to find it anywhere, but maybe you could google that poo poo if you want to.

Hexel
Nov 18, 2011



Only three more days

monster on a stick
Apr 29, 2013


Frostwerks posted:

This sounds like the "Elvis and Tupac are alive and eating at Dennys" I heard all the time about in elementary school.

Nonsense they were at Shoney's

Fly Molo
May 7, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


CharlieFoxtrot posted:

I'd love to see the sigil of House Seaworth duking it out with the others in the opening titles. The Lion, the Wolf, the Dragon... and the Onion.



Onion knight, best knight.

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

You can catch me just lion around the forums!


No More Heroes posted:

Only three more days

Can you imagine if there was ever a three week break

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness


Soiled Meat

Hedrigall posted:

Can you imagine if there was ever a three week break

the wait for season 5 is going to kill some of you.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


Drifter posted:

the wait for season 5 is going to kill some of you.

most likely GRRM

Mister Fister
May 17, 2008


No More Heroes posted:

Only three more days

So this is what it feels like when a heroin addict can't get his fix

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.



At least heroin addicts are out committing crimes to fund their habit instead of inside on computers.

Bobo the Red
Aug 14, 2004
Lay off the marmot

What happens if the big fight ends in a tie (which I guess could only happen if they both die)? Is Tyrion still guilty? Innocent? Mistrial?

I'm hoping one of the Stark daughters will get going on something. Arya's list is shrinking a lot while all she does is recite it. Also, I just remembered, she has the Hound on it because he was on the dais when Ned got chopped, right? But so was Sansa. Not that I think Arya would kill her, but that leaves room for Arya to forgive the Hound. Which would probably be good, because he and Tyrion are the only people who have shown a noncreepy interest in keeping those two alive (and maybe Varys, though who knows what that dude is up to).

Shadow
Jun 25, 2002


The Hound killed her innocent friend because of Joffrey. Pretty sure he's on it for that reason.

Edit: then they killed Sansa's direwolf because they couldn't locate the one who bit Joffrey.

Mecca-Benghazi
Mar 31, 2012



The Hound killed her friend, the butchers boy, that she was practicing with.

Edit: Beaten but yeah

Bobo the Red
Aug 14, 2004
Lay off the marmot

Well, sure, but he was working (and it was before she started the list). It's not like she hasn't killed innocent boys too!

Shadow
Jun 25, 2002


Bobo the Red posted:

Well, sure, but he was working (and it was before she started the list). It's not like she hasn't killed innocent boys too!

Yes, but that's why the Hound was on her list. The first time she sees the Hound since King's Landing with the Brotherhood Without Banners she mentions him killing her friend.

bUm
Jan 11, 2011


Bobo the Red posted:

Which would probably be good, because he and Tyrion are the only people who have shown a noncreepy interest in keeping those two alive (and maybe Varys, though who knows what that dude is up to).
No love for Yoren who stopped Arya from getting herself killed at the beheading and tried to return her safely to Winterfell? Nevermind that he taught her the whole pretend to be a boy that kept her alive well after he no longer was.

Syrio? Tywin who put Joffrey in his place upon arriving (knowing Sansa was valuable)? Lady Olenna who tried to get Sansa out of King's Landing via another wedding (even if it was inconsistent story-wise since Kingsguard can't marry)? Jaqen H'ghar? Beric & Co?

Santheb
Jul 13, 2005



bUm posted:

No love for Yoren who stopped Arya from getting herself killed at the beheading and tried to return her safely to Winterfell? Nevermind that he taught her the whole pretend to be a boy that kept her alive well after he no longer was.

Syrio? Tywin who put Joffrey in his place upon arriving (knowing Sansa was valuable)? Lady Olenna who tried to get Sansa out of King's Landing via another wedding (even if it was inconsistent story-wise since Kingsguard can't marry)? Jaqen H'ghar? Beric & Co?

1) Syrio was getting paid pretty handsomely I imagine.

2) Yeah Lady Olenna is pretty cool.

3) Jaqen owed her a debt. Or she owed the Red God a debt. Something like that.

4) She was Beric & Co's prisoner.

Yoren owned. "You're not a very smart boy now are you?"

Really though aside from Yoren I don't think anybody there was helping Arya simply for the sake of helping Arya. Sansa...well...poor Sansa

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Show Sansa stops being awful more or less as soon as Eddard dies but I'm in book two and her chapters are still intolerable.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.


bUm posted:

Lady Olenna who tried to get Sansa out of King's Landing via another wedding?
I think that one's complicated because I'm not certain that Olenna knew that Littlefinger was going to extract Sansa. That means that Olenna figured Sansa would take the fall with Tyrion for the assassination because of the necklace. She's cool but Margery's well-being comes before Sansa's nevertheless.

Lycus fucked around with this message at 20:14 on May 29, 2014

marktheando
Nov 4, 2006



Loras wasn't a Kingsguard since Renly was dead and no longer recognised by anyone as a king.

Lycus posted:

I think that one's complicated because I'm not certain that Olenna knew that Littlefinger was going to extract Sansa. That means that Olenna figured Sansa would take the fall with Tyrion for the assassination because of the necklace. She's cool but Margery's well-being comes before Sansa's nevertheless.

This was way before all that, when she was scheming to wed Sansa to Loras, before she married Tyrion.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.


marktheando posted:

This was way before all that, when she was scheming to wed Sansa to Loras, before she married Tyrion.
I understand that these are different events, I'm saying that the latter event complicates listing Olenna as one of Sansa's non-creep benefactors.

Janitor Prime
Jan 22, 2004

PC LOAD LETTER

What da fuck does that mean



Fun Shoe

marktheando posted:

Loras wasn't a Kingsguard since Renly was dead and no longer recognised by anyone as a king.


This was way before all that, when she was scheming to wed Sansa to Loras, before she married Tyrion.

I got the feeling that Little Finger and her had already come up with the plot to kill Joffrey when Margery was first betrothed.

bobkatt013
Oct 8, 2006

You’re telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?


Lycus posted:

I think that one's complicated because I'm not certain that Olenna knew that Littlefinger was going to extract Sansa. That means that Olenna figured Sansa would take the fall with Tyrion for the assassination because of the necklace. She's cool but Margery's well-being comes before Sansa's nevertheless.

She might have since the two of them did set up the murder in the first place.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.


bobkatt013 posted:

She might have since the two of them did set up the murder in the first place.
I just don't see any reason to assume she knew about that part, though. It makes more sense to me that she figured that the necklace would mark Sansa as a patsy. At the very least, there was a good chance that Sansa would get stopped before escaping, so Sansa's death was a definite possibility that she accepted.

Lycus fucked around with this message at 20:35 on May 29, 2014

Janitor Prime
Jan 22, 2004

PC LOAD LETTER

What da fuck does that mean



Fun Shoe

Lycus posted:

I just don't see any reason to assume she knew about that part, though. It makes more sense to me that she figured that necklace would mark Sansa as a patsy.

Yeah I don't think she knew about that either, which kinda of shows that earlier she actually did try to help Sansa by marrying her to Ser Loras and getting her out of King's Landing to avoid that whole poo poo show. But when that plan fell through she just said welp, and continued on at the expense of Sansa.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.


I just think that thinking of someone as your benefactor is complicated when they save you one day, then do something that could've got you killed the next. Not to mention, which part of the original marriage plan was really what was important to Olenna: Sansa's safety or giving the Tyrell family control of the North? Her willingness to sacrifice Sansa makes me think it's the latter.

Lycus fucked around with this message at 20:45 on May 29, 2014

Bobo the Red
Aug 14, 2004
Lay off the marmot

I was pretty sure the original list was created from the people who were up there when her dad was killed, because it doesn't include a bunch of people that it otherwise might (Jaime Lannister being the obvious choice, for killing a bunch of Stark guards she certainly knew for years and crippling her dad). Mostly , I don't Arya killing the Hound, because he's the more interesting one of the two "path of redemption" characters.

I forgot she killed Polliver, making it so she has officially contributed to removing list members. I'm a little bummed.

bUm posted:

No love for Yoren who stopped Arya from getting herself killed at the beheading and tried to return her safely to Winterfell? Nevermind that he taught her the whole pretend to be a boy that kept her alive well after he no longer was.

Syrio? Tywin who put Joffrey in his place upon arriving (knowing Sansa was valuable)? Lady Olenna who tried to get Sansa out of King's Landing via another wedding (even if it was inconsistent story-wise since Kingsguard can't marry)? Jaqen H'ghar? Beric & Co?

Yoren is dead (otherwise I'd also count Ned and Cat Stark). Syrio was both being paid, and also is probably dead.

Lady Olenna straight up set her up to take a regicide rap (or at least didn't give a poo poo if she did or not). Jagen was a weirdo assassin who owed her a debt and was perfectly willing to leave her to rot/die as freeing her did not fit within the scope of repaying that debt. Beric & co have proven themselves to be assholes just like everyone else, seeing as they literally sold Arya's friend to a blood-sacrificing witch, and would have done the same to her if Melisandre asked.

Tywin? Are you kidding? He maybe was amused by Arya, but the minute he figured out who she was, he would've put her in a dark place and figured out how to best use her in his hilarious "I've actually planned and schemed so much it has started to backfire" plot. Same deal with Sansa, he kept Joffrey from hurting her too much because he wanted to use Sansa (like for example, by forcing her to marry his son he hates for political gain). Nothing creepy about that?

Bobo the Red fucked around with this message at 21:10 on May 29, 2014

Apoplexy
Mar 9, 2003

~Neck Angels~



Santheb posted:

1) Syrio was getting paid pretty handsomely I imagine.

2) Yeah Lady Olenna is pretty cool.

3) Jaqen owed her a debt. Or she owed the Red God a debt. Something like that.

4) She was Beric & Co's prisoner.

Yoren owned. "You're not a very smart boy now are you?"

Really though aside from Yoren I don't think anybody there was helping Arya simply for the sake of helping Arya. Sansa...well...poor Sansa

Just a dumb aside: Syrio could not have possibly gotten paid for saving Arya. He knew nobody would dare attack her unless Ned was somehow indisposed, and Ned was the one paying him. He saved her entirely on his own, which is why he was so heroic.

Bobo the Red
Aug 14, 2004
Lay off the marmot

Apoplexy posted:

Just a dumb aside: Syrio could not have possibly gotten paid for saving Arya. He knew nobody would dare attack her unless Ned was somehow indisposed, and Ned was the one paying him. He saved her entirely on his own, which is why he was so heroic.

I'm not sure he was in on the inner workings of King's Landing enough to know that, but fair enough.

He's still pretty likely dead, and certainly removed enough from the story to not count towards the people out there who are protecting the Stark girls.

Apoplexy
Mar 9, 2003

~Neck Angels~



Well, he knew Ned was the Hand of the King and that the Kingsguard and Lannister men wouldn't be able to do something as bold as accost Arya Stark within the Stark compound in KL unless he was disempowered. Even though he tells her (at least in the show) to go and find her father, I highly doubt he thought he was in a position for her to get to at that point. And if any of those things were true, he wasn't getting paid any longer. All he had left was to protect his ward and not die that day.

mastajake
Oct 3, 2005

My blade is unBENDING!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DowJfUmlzeI

At the very least, Syrio (as evident in his last remaining seconds) was doing it for more than just money.

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness


Soiled Meat

mastajake posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DowJfUmlzeI

At the very least, Syrio (as evident in his last remaining seconds) was doing it for more than just money.

Last remaining seconds in that episode, you mean.

Bobo the Red
Aug 14, 2004
Lay off the marmot

Drifter posted:

Last remaining seconds in that episode, you mean.

Season 5: Arya goes to Braavos, is reunited with Syrio and Jaqen (maybe they are the same guy), and trains to be a sword-dancing faceless lady. Her scenes are all training montages, and becomes even more boring than Dany and Sansa's stories have ever been. Jon Snow has somehow stopped the wildling attack (or maybe the whitewalkers did), and is working on how the gently caress he's gonna hold this drat wall while also helping Sam be a dad, and dealing with his mean boss and angry girlfriend(sitcom style). Bran and friends continue going north, except that one kid definitely dies because look at how sickly he is (it's cold!), Sansa is essentially Lady of the Vale, having gotten married to Robin and/or Littlefinger, or she joins the Hound, Brienne, and Pod on a merry quest to... I guess Castle Black? They have sorta burned through all of the places where it is cool to be a Stark. Is Riverrun still standing?

Stannis and co actually become a credible threat ($$$), Davos is either dead, or we are all wondering why the gently caress he is still on team blood crazy. Maybe they take out the Reach, since the Tyrells just broke guest right, and have it coming. The Lannisters are hosed because it turns out that being horrible to everyone is an awful long term plan; Tyrion fucks off (or escapes, depending on how the trial goes) to Dorne or Essos, because why the gently caress would he be anywhere near this poo poo, his scenes become him just chilling with naked ladies and smoking cigars. Varys spends all day just rubbing his temples from the endless headaches. Theon still sucks, and the war in the North between two sides who ideally all just die continues.

Dany is still on the other side of the world, loving the inferior Daario and being mostly pointless.

Edit: in case it is not abundantly clear, this is all speculation because I'm bored; I've never read any of the books. Don't read the custom title of this dude below me (or do the smart thing like the OP says and turn them all off), since that may be a spoiler; I have no idea if any of it is right.

Bobo the Red fucked around with this message at 23:23 on May 29, 2014

BurnBlackJay
May 31, 2011

by Lowtax


e: Nevermind

BurnBlackJay fucked around with this message at 00:03 on May 30, 2014

Cross-Section
Mar 18, 2009



Hey, I wonder what the Game of Thrones thread is up to-awwwww

I too have no idea as to the verifiability of those spoilers, but they're all things that could conceivably happen! Also, I'm pretty sure that the first one was title of, if not GBS, then one of the main forums for a while, so Lowtaaaaax

Cross-Section fucked around with this message at 00:01 on May 30, 2014

Mide
Jun 2, 2009


Arya makes it to Braavos at the end of the season and is greeted by Syrio aka Jaquen. She will train and become a super killer assassin over the time jump between seasons and we will see her during the aftermath of all her training at the start of the new season.

Bobo the Red
Aug 14, 2004
Lay off the marmot

Mide posted:

Arya makes it to Braavos at the end of the season and is greeted by Syrio aka Jaquen. She will train and become a super killer assassin over the time jump between seasons and we will see her during the aftermath of all her training at the start of the new season.

"You'd think more people would come to us for training. It takes 2, 3 months tops!" -Jaqen in a deleted scene

sforzacio
Nov 6, 2012



There will be a training montage. Set to Rains of Castamere though.

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bUm
Jan 11, 2011


Apparently people didn't read what I quoted very closely. Keeping them alive for ransom or for titles is not creepy: it's logical, intelligent, and makes absolute sense in the Game of Thrones universe (you win or you die; if you're upset by characters making selfish/logical choices over "happy ending" ones, you've come to the wrong place). Also alive or dead is of little relevance whether or not they helped keep them alive (in a non-creepy manner) whilst they were able.

marktheando posted:

Loras wasn't a Kingsguard since Renly was dead and no longer recognised by anyone as a king.
Guess I mistakenly thought there was a scene promising him to Joffrey's Kingsguard, but that was just for Margaery's betrothal.

Bobo the Red posted:

Is Riverrun still standing?
Yes.

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

Show Sansa stops being awful more or less as soon as Eddard dies but I'm in book two and her chapters are still intolerable.
There is light at the end of that tunnel, but you're not there.

Debatable on if/when show Sansa stops being awful though.

bUm fucked around with this message at 01:48 on May 30, 2014

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