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  • Locked thread
everdave
Nov 14, 2005

For The Record...

Ford Taurus Wagon

Absolutely mint inside, it still had the factory plastic on the rear floors.

I bought it for $2,000

I love it

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InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I Want To Believe.


Betacord posted:

How about a Datsun Stanza in "beige"?



I bought it due to the dullness, I thought it was charming.
Ok, that's got to be up there in whatever league table we're running here. I can feel myself falling asleep just looking at it.

Rock My Socks!
Aug 6, 2009



Palicgofueniczekt posted:

2001 Daihatsu Mira
660cc, 3-Speed Automatic



As an American I automatically find all kei cars to be fascinating

Rorac
Aug 19, 2011



1986 GMC Vandura (AKA the ubiquitous Chevy Van), 305, automatic.





Edit: wait, that 2001 Mira has a 3 speed? What the absolute gently caress, why?

Militant Lesbian
Oct 3, 2002


Rorac posted:

1986 GMC Vandura (AKA the ubiquitous Chevy Van), 305, automatic.

Vanduras own, don't you dare badmouth them.

dissss
Nov 10, 2007

I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

Here's a cat fucking a squid.

Rorac posted:



Edit: wait, that 2001 Mira has a 3 speed? What the absolute gently caress, why?

I think almost all the auto Kei cars did, even the turbo and 4wd versions.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

High Energy, Good Feeling!




Mobius1B7R posted:

I drove this from 2005ish till 2010 when it mysteriously died (again) and I got rid of it. I got it as a graduation present, which I was very thankful for, but it was the biggest piece of crap i've ever been around. Every week something new broke.



I then "upgraded" to a 2000 GTP and now to my 08 3.

See, I don't feel that cars like this are dull at all, sure the steering is numb, and the power uninspiring, a the styling worthless, BUT every single day you get to play a fun game, such as "where's that burning smell coming from?" "Why did that Police officer pull me over for having zero functional lights, they all worked this morning?" "Why won't my car start?" and "Why did my car suddenly stop running while I'm trying to drive across the Grapevine?"

e: and "why the gently caress did I buy this awful car?"

pants in my pants
Aug 18, 2009

by Smythe


This thread has got me wondering what it would have looked like 10, 20, 30 years ago.

2004: Jellybean Escort? (In addition to all the late 90s Japanese sedans posted so far.)
1994: late 80s Japanese econobox or old full size GM barge?
1984: no clue, Vega/Pinto/Chevette?

RillAkBea
Oct 10, 2008



dissss posted:

I think almost all the auto Kei cars did, even the turbo and 4wd versions.

Some newer models do have 4-speeds, but as to why they were using 3-speeds, according to Japanese answers sites it was apparently a matter of cost, weight and expected average speed. They were originally made so that families could afford to have dad's land barge and another car for mom to go to the shops in. They were never really meant to be daily drivers but it sort of ended up that way with the massive tax cuts on kei cars, rising oil prices and a gradually worsening economic climate. They weren't even allowed to go the full speed limit on the highways until the year 2000.

Also if you get into a crash you're fairly screwed. (I have yet to hear a news report of anybody surviving a kei truck crash... ) but you try not to think about that cause they're dirt cheap to run.

Dagen H
Mar 19, 2009

Hogertrafikomlaggningen


two forty posted:

This thread has got me wondering what it would have looked like 10, 20, 30 years ago.

2004: Jellybean Escort? (In addition to all the late 90s Japanese sedans posted so far.)
1994: late 80s Japanese econobox or old full size GM barge?
1984: no clue, Vega/Pinto/Chevette?

Now you're talking.

1994: 4-door 1986 Grand Am, 4-cylinder/auto, 2-tone Chestnut Brown.

KillHour
Oct 28, 2007





RillAkBea posted:

Some newer models do have 4-speeds, but as to why they were using 3-speeds, according to Japanese answers sites it was apparently a matter of cost, weight and expected average speed. They were originally made so that families could afford to have dad's land barge and another car for mom to go to the shops in. They were never really meant to be daily drivers but it sort of ended up that way with the massive tax cuts on kei cars, rising oil prices and a gradually worsening economic climate. They weren't even allowed to go the full speed limit on the highways until the year 2000.

Also if you get into a crash you're fairly screwed. (I have yet to hear a news report of anybody surviving a kei truck crash... ) but you try not to think about that cause they're dirt cheap to run.

At least post a video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX5HTFEID9M

90s Solo Cup
Feb 22, 2011

To understand the cup
He must become the cup





KillHour posted:

I will admit, the 3800 was nice. Going from that to the Vulcan after the transmission grenaded itself was

(By grenaded, I mean it suddenly ripped a 2 inch tear in the housing and started spewing ATF like a sliced jugular.)

I drove a Taurus once, on a 100-mile trip from an auto auction. Aside from the front subframe's attempts to violently separate itself from the rest of the car upon acceleration and the overall uselessness of the presumably blown shocks, it was a rather uneventful experience.

two forty posted:

This thread has got me wondering what it would have looked like 10, 20, 30 years ago.

2004: Jellybean Escort? (In addition to all the late 90s Japanese sedans posted so far.)
1994: late 80s Japanese econobox or old full size GM barge?
1984: no clue, Vega/Pinto/Chevette?

1994: A mid-1980s Ford Crown Victoria or a Chrysler K-car
1984: A telephone company Green Plymouth Valiant
1974: Any full-size car with a six-cylinder and a three-on-the-tree

90s Solo Cup fucked around with this message at 16:28 on May 31, 2014

Corky Romanovsky
Oct 1, 2006



Soiled Meat

Betacord posted:

How about a Datsun Stanza in "beige"?



I bought it due to the dullness, I thought it was charming.

Consensus: currently in first place?

ADINSX
Sep 9, 2003

Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?



Extra posted:

The fact that there's no turbo'd yaris like the 4EFTE starlet from the 90s is something that makes me sad every day. The stock 1NZ-FE can only handle like 7 psi which is dumb. Curious what dumb swaps people will manage when the Yaris reaches maximum depreciation (2ZZ-GE?).



Well there's this thing but there's only 200 of them and only for Japan.

So long as it says TURBO in big bold bright letters

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I Want To Believe.


Palicgofueniczekt posted:

Consensus: currently in first place?
I think it actually winning anything would not be in keeping with its uninteresting aesthetic. It. Is. Beige. Proper, hasn't-got-the-balls-to-own-up-to-being-brown beige. The kind of beige that your eye just sort of slides off, as if there isn't really a car there at all.

(I do quite like it, actually)

Conelrad
Mar 22, 2004

Everything will be fine


Grimey Drawer

Extra posted:

The fact that there's no turbo'd yaris like the 4EFTE starlet from the 90s is something that makes me sad every day. The stock 1NZ-FE can only handle like 7 psi which is dumb. Curious what dumb swaps people will manage when the Yaris reaches maximum depreciation (2ZZ-GE?).



Well there's this thing but there's only 200 of them and only for Japan.

As the former owner of a 2009 Yaris with a 8-PSI turbo kit it's a shame that Toyota decided to keep the Yaris the Toyota poverty spec car. To put it in another way my 3-door liftback with a man tran did not come nor had the option for a tachometer. That's pretty impressive given they threw a tach into the automatic 4 door.

Betacord
Mar 24, 2013

7 DAYS / 1 PROGRAM


I forgot, I actually have a (pretty old) thrilling video of the Datsun if it down to a tie-break situation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuIrpeyAK3E

The clutch slip and change into 3rd at 10mph is deliberate, it was being driven "in character". It's a long story.

Mighty Horse
Jul 24, 2007

Speed, Class, Bankruptcy.


HotCanadianChick posted:

Although it didn't belong to me, I spent about two years using my great-grandmother's 1985 Chevy Celebrity as my daily driver (she'd had a light stroke and was advised not to drive anymore, so I got to use it in exchange for chauffeuring her around when she needed). If the poop-brown exterior and interior and cloth bench seats didn't bore you to death, the somnolent 2.8l 2bbl carbed LE2 V6 would definitely put you to sleep with it's utterly uninspired performance. The best thing that can be said about it was that there were always plenty of cheap parts at the wreckers. The downside is that when it finally took it's last breath, no junkyard wanted to take it because they already had more broken-down Celebrities rusting up the place than they could ever possibly part out.



They didn't call the mid-70's to mid-80's the Malaise Era for nothing.

Oh, you had it good you rich bastard.

The Celebrity I learned to drive on was Iron Duke powered.

Pretty sure I would get passed by glaciers on the highway.

Militant Lesbian
Oct 3, 2002


Mighty Horse posted:

Oh, you had it good you rich bastard.

The Celebrity I learned to drive on was Iron Duke powered.

Pretty sure I would get passed by glaciers on the highway.

Oh my god, I'm so, so sorry. My condolences.

Skeletard
Dec 21, 2004


I drive a 1992 Ford Tempo. It had 98 hp when new, the 2.3L engine makes an apparent, and amazingly appalling, 18 mpg as far as I've calculated it and the car makes for wonderful comparisons to boiled cabbage.

It's maybe not all that bad though: It's white and the interior is completely red/maroon/wine colored so it feels like you're in a pile of viscera when you climb inside. The rear shocks recently decided to give up on life so now the rear suspension is entirely spring-action and I get to feel like Uncle Buck as I bob my way over every little bump in the road. I bought it for $1300 about 6 years ago with 45,002km on the odometer from a friend whose Grandmother owned it and had recently passed. It now has 102K on the odometer and I'm probably going to keep repairing the reasonable things that go wrong with it until it just finally dies on me or I can afford a better car. One day I might just lose my mind completely and get a custom plate for it that reads "Largo" just to make music nerds snicker, and that is what I love the most about the drat thing.


Edit: Is this stockholm syndrome I'm feeling?

Friar Zucchini
Aug 6, 2010



One might make the argument that a car cannot be dull if it is appallingly slow because that makes merging onto a highway an exhilarating experience. So I'd say that three-speed Kei car might not belong here.

Corky Romanovsky
Oct 1, 2006



Soiled Meat

Friar Zucchini posted:

One might make the argument that a car cannot be dull if it is appallingly slow because that makes merging onto a highway an exhilarating experience. So I'd say that three-speed Kei car might not belong here.

Take a look at a map and tell me how common you think highway travel is. A 20 mile trip costs , too.

E: map of Japan, that is

Corky Romanovsky fucked around with this message at 08:45 on Jun 7, 2014

RillAkBea
Oct 10, 2008



I've only been on one on-ramp since I got my kei and it just served as a disappointing reminder that I was driving a kei.

Luneshot
Mar 10, 2014



1997 Chevy Lumina base model. A bit newer than some other cars in here, but still incredibly dull and boring. It used to belong to my grandmother, so of course she chose the automatic model. In beigeish-gray. With a bench seat in the front. At least it has the advantage of being so inconspicuous that the police barely give it a second glance.

Terrible Robot
Jul 2, 2010

FRIED CHICKEN


Slippery Tilde

Luneshot posted:

1997 Chevy Lumina base model. A bit newer than some other cars in here, but still incredibly dull and boring. It used to belong to my grandmother, so of course she chose the automatic model. In beigeish-gray. With a bench seat in the front. At least it has the advantage of being so inconspicuous that the police barely give it a second glance.


Real talk if you know what you are doing behind the wheel (and have little fear of death) one of those fuckers will haul some serious rear end through the twisties. I kept up with a coil-over'd CRX on one of the most technical back roads in my county with 100% stock suspension and gigantic 85 profile tires. I bag on mid-90's American cars a lot but they weren't complete turds.

Best roadtrip car I've ever had, too.

Luneshot
Mar 10, 2014



Terrible Robot posted:

Real talk if you know what you are doing behind the wheel (and have little fear of death) one of those fuckers will haul some serious rear end through the twisties. I kept up with a coil-over'd CRX on one of the most technical back roads in my county with 100% stock suspension and gigantic 85 profile tires. I bag on mid-90's American cars a lot but they weren't complete turds.

Best roadtrip car I've ever had, too.

I dunno about the keeping up part because I don't really drive it hard, but I can agree that it's a good road trip car. I nicknamed it the Sponge because A. it soaks up gasoline and B. it soaks up bumps. Still wish I had cruise control, but it's served me well getting me back and forth to college so I can't complain too bad.

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006




Young Orc

Might as well call it the Beige Toyota thread.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


Wedge Regret

The high school version of me drove really boring cars. The first car I ever owned was none other than the world's most exciting driving machine. Yes, that's right, I was the proud owner of a 1993 Oldsmobile 88. Look at that sleek chassis!



I drove it every day from 2004 until December 2006. It had terrible turning, took forever to get up to speed and didn't break very well either. It had the classic front and back bench so you could sort of sit 6 people in there. The gear shift was also on the wheel, which I found really weird. Other than that it was completely unremarkable. Mine was purple so it looked something more like this (minus being all crumpled):



Yeah, real fun. On the other hand it became very exciting when the brake lines rusted away while I was at college. The thing had one of those idiotic floor emergency brakes so trying to stop the thing when I realized I had no brakes was fun and in no way terrifying in the middle of the winter.

I also hit a guard rail during an ice storm in my first year of owning it and my dad and I replaced a cracked fender. Finding an 88 junker in 2004 that was purple was a bit challenging. A thoroughly unremarkable car.

After it gave up the ghost I bought another 88, but this time it was white. It was only 800 bucks and I was a poor college kid so I figured what could go wrong . The answer of course was everything. This one was less boring and more terrifying because everything in the purple one worked, it was just boring as hell. The white one was just an utter disaster. I drove it to spring break down in Georgia and the entire time I was convinced the drat engine was going to fall out. Or the brake lines would disintegrate again. That one died when, surprise, the break lines dissolved the summer after I bought it.

You would think by now I would've learned my lesson and gotten a Camry or something, but nope, I then got a 2000 Pontiac Bonneville. It looked like this:



It ran fine except for the horrifying electrical problems it had. I think I went through something like 3 alternators in the 5 or 6 years I had it. The most fun experience with this was when I was driving to my parents' house for Thanksgiving and the car's electrical systems all slowly started failing. First the radio went, then the heat and finally the lights. Oh and this was at about 10 PM on country roads. In the snow . I have no idea how I'm not dead.

I also had the engine just straight up turn off while driving on the highway one day. No clue what happened there. Maybe it was the GM ignition thing.

Reading this back over, maybe I should've posted this in the scariest car thread...

axeil fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Jul 14, 2014

ratbert90
Feb 12, 2009
JUST FUCKING STOP, JESUS H. CHRIST


I too have a 1999 Ford Taurus 3.0OHV Vulcan VEEEEE-SIX with FIFE-HUNNA-HORSE-POWWAAAAAA.

Terrible car.

Jack B Nimble
Dec 25, 2007




Soiled Meat

ratbert90 posted:

I too have a 1999 Ford Taurus 3.0OHV Vulcan VEEEEE-SIX with FIFE-HUNNA-HORSE-POWWAAAAAA.

Terrible car.

I like mine a lot more now that I have the AC fixed. A few hundred bucks in suspension parts I should have a comfortable ride for as long as the under powered de-tuned (it's been tuned!) engine will last me. I'll always dream after that perfect daily driver that blends economy, fun, and utility but there's a lot to be said for having a cheap, reliable, and comfortable car that is invisible to police.

Unless it's your only car/vehicle. If you're at college or an apartment or something I could see where you would REALLY want a hot-hatch or a mustang or something.

90s Solo Cup
Feb 22, 2011

To understand the cup
He must become the cup





axeil posted:

I owned several terrible GM products in succession.

Sup FWD H-body buddy.

I grew up riding around in primarily GM iron and my first car wound up a being a GM. I respect certain GM cars with the proper drivetrains (3800/4T60E, 350/4L80 or 4.3/700R4) since you can wail on these cars without a car and they still won't break down, even as the rest of the car falls apart around it.

But I'd really like to find something else to drive. Preferably another Lexus LS400 bought on the cheap

Be glad you didn't have a 98 Regency. Imagine an Eighty Eight with rear fender skirts.

Mighty Horse posted:

Oh, you had it good you rich bastard.

The Celebrity I learned to drive on was Iron Duke powered.

Pretty sure I would get passed by glaciers on the highway.

My only Iron Duke experience comes courtesy of my oldest sister's Cutlass Calais, passed down to my mother since her Grand Prix was either in the yard, inoperative, or in the shop, with brief moments of actual motoring sprinkled throughout. Even with my mother's general neglect of that car, it was still a piece of poo poo.

Not as much as this piece of poo poo, which she'd come to own over a decade or so later:

Echotic
Oct 20, 2013


The most boring car I've ever owned was this.



1989 Toyota Corolla 'van'
1.3 sohc fury that spewed oil smoke at anything over 3k rpm. Its only saving grace was the 5 speed manual. It was an ex ruralpost vehicle. Instead of back seats, it sported a sheet metal false floor right from the hatch to the front seats.

e: tags

Echotic fucked around with this message at 12:33 on Jul 14, 2014

Octopus Magic
Dec 19, 2003

I HATE EVERYTHING THAT YOU LIKE* AND I NEED TO BE SURE YOU ALL KNOW THAT EVERY TIME I POST

*unless it's a DSM in which case we cool ^_^


Terrible Robot posted:

Real talk if you know what you are doing behind the wheel (and have little fear of death) one of those fuckers will haul some serious rear end through the twisties. I kept up with a coil-over'd CRX on one of the most technical back roads in my county with 100% stock suspension and gigantic 85 profile tires. I bag on mid-90's American cars a lot but they weren't complete turds.

Best roadtrip car I've ever had, too.

Either he was at commuting speeds or this never happened.

Seat Safety Switch
May 27, 2008

MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.



Pillbug

Octopus Magic posted:

Either he was at commuting speeds or this never happened.

Or he's your average Honda driver who gets really loving big in your windshield as soon as you find a corner.

$45/corner eBay coilovers don't really lend themselves to high performance canyon carving.

Octopus Magic
Dec 19, 2003

I HATE EVERYTHING THAT YOU LIKE* AND I NEED TO BE SURE YOU ALL KNOW THAT EVERY TIME I POST

*unless it's a DSM in which case we cool ^_^


Seat Safety Switch posted:

Or he's your average Honda driver who gets really loving big in your windshield as soon as you find a corner.

$45/corner eBay coilovers don't really lend themselves to high performance canyon carving.

That also.

Terrible Robot
Jul 2, 2010

FRIED CHICKEN


Slippery Tilde

Yeah, coil-over'd CRX makes it sound more impressive than it was and leaves out all the bad. lovely body kit, cheap rear end eBay coil overs, crap engine and the driver of the CRX had no skill. I was still impressed with the Lumina's grip, but yeah, I fully admit I left out some details from that story.

ratbert90
Feb 12, 2009
JUST FUCKING STOP, JESUS H. CHRIST


Jack B Nimble posted:

I like mine a lot more now that I have the AC fixed. A few hundred bucks in suspension parts I should have a comfortable ride for as long as the under powered de-tuned (it's been tuned!) engine will last me. I'll always dream after that perfect daily driver that blends economy, fun, and utility but there's a lot to be said for having a cheap, reliable, and comfortable car that is invisible to police.

Unless it's your only car/vehicle. If you're at college or an apartment or something I could see where you would REALLY want a hot-hatch or a mustang or something.

I own two, same year same color.

GoodbyeTurtles
Aug 18, 2012





I think this qualifies


1998 1.2 8v Clio
no power steering
no electric windows
no AC
no ABS
no power
french

kastein
Aug 31, 2011

Moderator at http://www.ridgelineownersclub.com/forums/and soon to be mod of AI. MAKE AI GREAT AGAIN. Motronic for VP.


I had this beautiful sex palace (note: all 3 of these things are blatant lies) for a year as my own, after my parents decided they wanted it out of their driveway NOW and I decided I wanted the motor. It didn't have the motor I wanted, so I used it till it finished pooping out its third or fourth (and final) transmission rebuild. I also was the designated operator of this beautiful chariot (note: these are also lies) for two years in college.

5.2L mopar magnum V8
46RE automatic transmission, poo poo out torque converters, governor pressure solenoids and sensors, and clutch packs like it was its sole mission in life
9.25" chrysler corporate rearend that liked pooping out wheel bearings and pinion bearings before it hit 150k miles

It was fuel cut governed at 97mph and took approximately one life-age of the earth to reach that speed.



It also managed to grow some rather impressive rust holes in the rocker panels and floorboards despite only living to the ripe old age of 12, two and a half years of which it spent parked in a driveway not moving.

Acceleration: nope, not even a little. And you better not want to start moving on wet pavement.
Cornering:
Braking: somewhat.
Fuel economy: 15mpg no matter what.
Exhaust note: louder if you press the throttle. This did not, however, change anything else.
Hubcaps: (my dad thought they looked better than rusty steelies.)
Preferred mode of operation: stuck on flat ground in 3 inches of loose snow with one rear wheel spinning lazily at idle

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cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

Through no fault of my own I have always managed to have the dullest cars. They've never been beige sedans but just totally adequate, normal cars that look like a hundred other cars on the road

My first car was an '84 Ford Laser purchased in 2004 when I graduated high school It looked like this but green and was the most poorly maintained POS I've ever come across:




When that car finally poo poo the bed for good I upgraded to a late '70s Toyota Corolla in gross orange which was a totally functional car that happened to be a good 30 years past its prime:




And now I have a 2012 Kia Rio which is perfectly pleasant to drive, gets good mileage, etc but it's just so dull:

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