|
This is the special World Cup thread for the German team. What is a World Cup? A miserable pile of gold showing two triumphing footballers holding the globe hostage. You win it as nation by sending a selection of your least terrible players to FIFA and demand a rematch and bookings at every corner against you. This time around the action will happen in Brazil which, despite their passion for the sport, has seen some social upheaval due to spending billions on the wrong loving end of the country (like having a 40k seater stadium built in a city with only a third league team) and giving FIFA a blank cheque to launder all their money, all the while not investing in important stuff like schools and infrastructure. Germany is favoured to crash out of group G in first place against big wigs like Portugal, Ghana and the US of A. It is considered quite rude to not have won it at least thrice so you can take part at the big boys table at dinner. But enough talk, have thee some pictures of managers and players Der Jogi (Hans Joachim Löw)*  Current manager of Germany and always good for a laugh. Remember when he nominated Khedira and Klose, both of whom came back from looooooong injuries? Good times. What year is it again? 2014? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFuck. So yes, he has a way of picking players that's not sitting right with several posters itf, including me, which puts less emphasis on ability and more on who he personally likes more. Not that this is actually different to any of his predecessors up to and including Sepp Herberger from 80 years ago, but it's something to keep in mind when you see a way past-it player waddle around on the pitch in a German kit (it's gonna be Klinsmann in disguise). Goalkeepers Manuel Neuer  Germany's no.1 in goal, he acts as sweeper, making fans very uncomfortable, but those guys don't have a clue.  Part of the Bayern bloc and the worlds best goalkeeper.Roman Weidenfeller  His first World Cup honours at 33, Roman has played a very gescheite Saison, will thus be number two behind Neuer and probably only play in the decider for third place if that comes to pass. Dortmund bloc. Ron-Robert Zieler  Tried to keep Hannover's goal clean and failed miserably this season, but is apparently enough of a cool dude to bring as third string keeper (certainly less toxic locker atmosphere than taking ter-Stegen). Defenders Jerome Boateng  Pretty good center-/rightback with a very slight propensity for stupid errors. Bayern bloc. Erik Durm  Part of the Dortmund bloc, about to be blooded into the squad and hopefully a good future fullback. Started off as striker though. Kevin Großkreutz  A working bee used on both outer midfield and defensive positions, it's impossible to find a picture that is flattering at all for the Dortmund ultra gone pro. Michael Cera as Benedikt Höwedes  Schalkes very own defender who'll slot into either full- or centerback position. Mats Hummels  This looker is part of the Dortmund bloc and features as centerback in the managers plans. Look at his drop dead gorgeous face. Philipp Lahm  Skipper of both Bayern and the national team, Lahm is the tiny Übermensch everyone would love to have. Literally world class as both rightback and defensive midfield (a position he might have to play exclusively this tournament seeing as Khedira is useless when not fit - see CL final 2014 for more info). Per Mertesacker  pictured: Mertesacker(r.) with his newborn girl Arsenals choice centerback with pretty good game sense to counteract his lack of run- and turnspeed. Nailed on as starter, leaving one spot to either Boateng or Hummels (both guys are better but I'm not the guy being paid several million a year to manage). Shkodran Mustafi  I don't know the first thing about Mustafi, but he looked alright against Poland. A youth player in Hamburg to transfer to Everton and from there over to Sampdoria. Needed two tries to correctly spell his name. Will probably watch the tournament from the bench. Marcel Schmelzer  It's the guy behind the mask, and he's willing to ping crosses from half a pitch away to the stands. Leftback for Dortmund, probably starting leftback for Germany. Midfield Julian Draxler  Schalkes youngster on the wings, he's stagnated a bit this season (though not necessarily a fault of his own, the squires haven't been exactly constant in their showings). Could still make a breakthrough this tournament if Jogi lets him play. Matthias Ginter  A player from the youth of Freiburg and future Mario Götze  The great German hope to make a splash this tournament, Götze has been the subject of somewhat disappointed Dortmund fans last season after his transfer to Bayern got leaked early. He is rather small, fast and has a fantastic technique (not something Germany has often among their ranks). He'll probably play as 10 interspersed with the outer midfield and a faked as poo poo 9. Sami Khedira  A cool dude to have around, but unfortunately limited in the position he's been used as (box-to-box defensive midfield), also coming back from a cruciate ligament injury and entirely unfit for the physically demanding role. Real Madrid nearly lost their CL-final due to him. Christoph Kramer  This kid. I haven't watched him at all despite playing for Gladbach. The blind spot of shame. Toni Kroos  The bets are off: will Toni have another underwhelming tournament or does he play a bigger role in Löws plans? You decide! Thomasof Müllerinho  Bayerns most unpredictable player on the wings and a Raumdeuter, people hope he'll pull off the same magic like in 2010. Highly probable starter on the right wing. Mesut Özil  A Gunner, Özil has been the most expensive transfer Arsenal have conducted as of yet. I hope he reproduces his 2010 form just like Müller, but at least being in form might help too. Certain to start as 10. Lukas Podolski  Lots more Gunners present than the Euros, oh well. Poldi is neither big on technique nor very fast on the wings, but he's hammering the ball like no one else on the squad. The aim's also off a bit. Marco Reus  Fast and technically adept player on the wings. Has terrible hair and can't dance. André Schürrle  Chose the perfect team to not develop into a player worth a poo poo, but he's still young, some club with ambition beyond parking buses all day long might get ahold of him some day. We might just not have heard of it. Bastian Schweinsteiger  Picks up injuries left and right, is important for Germanys game and only recently started training with the ball again. Attack Miroslav Klose  Old Miro, another injury prone player, has surprisingly come back from a recent injury and could still start as striker. Could break Ronaldos goal record if he gets in shape. Kevin Volland  Surprising nomination considering Kruse had seniority, but a good player nonetheless. What do we expect? Better football to play than you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuxghiwjgQc    So go on, post your opinions! *His full name is Joachim Löw, some dumb reporter just added Hans one day and it stuck with me. Healbot fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Jul 9, 2014 |
#
?
May 25, 2014 13:54
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 13:15 |
|
|
Germany will NOT win
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 13:56
|
|
|
2 World Wars, 1 World Cup.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 13:56
|
|
|
Chris de Sperg posted:2 World Wars, 1 World Cup. Still not enough for the big boys table, son.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 13:58
|
|
|
Good OP, OP
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:00
|
|
|
I hope germany win this
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:02
|
|
|
Nice picture selection, OP
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:06
|
|
|
You will NOT win the World Cup. In fact, you'll be lucky to get to the semis. Beckenbauer, Rummenigge and Matthäus would be spinning in their graves if they were dead.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:09
|
|
|
Germany is the Best and we will Win and Thomas Müller will score most of the goals and Klose will score the rest and break Ronald's record and it's gonna be awesome. e: also that is a good OP and I'm glad you didn't lose it to the internet or whatever.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:15
|
|
|
OP does not contain the word Mannschaft, please correct forthwith
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:19
|
|
|
We will win and philip lahm will lift the trophy in his tiny baby hands and i will do all the moves
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:22
|
|
|
Bugger off Adolf, you won't be getting your grubby hands on England's World Cup
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:23
|
|
|
I'd be quite happy for Germany to poo poo the bed and not get out of the group but only after Klose wins the golden boot by putting 8 goals past the USMNT
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:23
|
|
|
Miroslav Klose, hero of the German people WILL win the world cup for Deutschland.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:25
|
|
|
Pand posted:We will win and philip lahm will lift the trophy in his tiny baby hands and i will do all the moves you might call it triumph of the will
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:26
|
|
|
I'm doing some hearty laughs at the Boateng picture and the Big Per caption. Sehr gut, OP. My prediction was going to be that Italy will end us in the semis, but it turns out they would have to come second in their group for that, and Uruguay's got that on lock. So I don't know.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:27
|
|
|
My prediction for Germany is that they will choke in a big game.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:33
|
|
|
Nice op, op Also, Germany will not win the WC
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:38
|
|
|
Hooray for Hitler
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:46
|
|
|
 OP I think you posted a picture of Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne by mistake
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:48
|
|
|
Bogan Krkic posted:Hooray for Hitler
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:52
|
|
|
I'm moving to germany this summer but I don't think I will ever be ready to cheer for the german team.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:54
|
|
|
oliwan posted:I'm moving to germany this summer but I don't think I will ever be ready to cheer for the german team. Its too bad, it's the only german thing germans are allowed to cheer for. Anything else and people get worried about the nazis or something.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 14:58
|
|
|
Went to Germany for the WC06. They are mostly cool and chill people so I won't even be that upset when they own Jozy+10
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 15:00
|
|
|
Someone post lowpickinghisnose.gif tia
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 15:29
|
|
|
Jose posted:Someone post lowpickinghisnose.gif tia Also someone post oziljugglinghisgum.flv
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 15:31
|
|
|
Did Gomez make the final squad?
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 15:42
|
|
|
supersteve posted:Did Gomez make the final squad? He is Not On The Plane.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 15:48
|
|
|
A German will win the Golden Boot. Since 3rd place playoffs are usually goalfests.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 16:13
|
|
|
Pretty sad about no Mario Gomez, but all the Gomezbutton websites are down anyway.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 16:33
|
|
|
Really hoping Klose breaks the record
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:14
|
|
|
Jözy will not let Germany pass.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:21
|
|
|
Ponce de Le0n posted:Jözy will not let Germany pass.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:24
|
|
|
Hitlers boys in white will win everything. It will be great.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:25
|
|
|
the national man's shaft haha
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:39
|
|
|
tekz posted:the national man's shaft haha Sounds a bit gay
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:40
|
|
|
nice table breaking op op
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:42
|
|
|
Elliptical Dick posted:nice table breaking op op Get bigger tables
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:43
|
|
|
Ffs
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 13:15 |
|
|
Paddyb posted:[url=]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7yn7LSufUE&sns=em nice
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2014 17:47
|
|