What's your type?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > What's your type?

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Secks Cauldron: Aug 26, 2006; I thought they closed that place down!

Sassy and morbidly obese.

# ? May 30, 2014 18:59

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 20, 2025 04:59

naem: May 29, 2011

mookface posted:

Ooooooooohh

It's a pretty good type because while she may be attractive she feels inferior because all her friends have fake blond hair or whatever and she takes out all her sexual frustration on you

# ? May 30, 2014 19:03

BONE DOG: Jun 7, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

naem posted:

It's a pretty good type because while she may be attractive she feels inferior because all her friends have fake blond hair or whatever and she takes out all her sexual frustration on you

Is she also the jealous type?

# ? May 30, 2014 19:09

ghlbtsk: Apr 19, 2005; these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

I would agree, but that hyphen really complicates things.

I'm gonna say anyone who, when they ask you a question and you don't answer, doesn't ask again because they understand that it is a question you don't want to answer and they can let it go.

^^^ A VERY RARE QUALITY INDEED ^^^

# ? May 30, 2014 19:16

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

*posts a bunch of extremely vague positive traits*
fmsgt

# ? May 30, 2014 19:16

you were warned: Jul 12, 2006; (the S is for skeleton)

Male and somewhat effeminate
Female and soft and cuddly (not really big tho)

Either way: clean, relatively low sex drive, interested in taking a strap-on, into walking around the woods and looking at birds with me, able to cope with my sometimes-crippling emotional instability and history of life-threatening disease that will probably come back.

I will die alone.

# ? May 30, 2014 19:24

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

I would like a sentient animal which is also humanoid.

But not a furry, those guys are weird.

# ? May 30, 2014 19:26

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

I'm gay and I like guys that are fat and fem.

You'd think that would make things easy given the stereotype but honestly it's 100x easier finding the random "masc jock" six-pack dude, oddly enough I guess all of that "no fats no fems" stuff has driven them away

# ? May 30, 2014 19:36

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

MaxxBot posted:

I'm gay and I like guys that are fat and fem.

You'd think that would make things easy given the stereotype but honestly it's 100x easier finding the random "masc jock" six-pack dude, oddly enough I guess all of that "no fats no fems" stuff has driven them away .

is this a gay thing??

# ? May 30, 2014 19:37

Fishy Joe: Apr 19, 2005; Eat at Fishy Joe's

MaxxBot posted:

I'm gay and I like guys that are fat and fem.

You'd think that would make things easy given the stereotype but honestly it's 100x easier finding the random "masc jock" six-pack dude, oddly enough I guess all of that "no fats no fems" stuff has driven them away .

if you wanna hang out with fat gay pansies you've come to the right place my man goon4goon.com

# ? May 30, 2014 19:48

Tricky D: Apr 1, 2005; I love um!

rebounders

# ? May 30, 2014 19:55

calusari: Apr 18, 2013; It's mechanical. Seems to come at regular intervals.

One legged for easy access

# ? May 30, 2014 20:05

unlimited shrimp: Aug 30, 2008

_{_{gently caress me sexy ghost twins}}

# ? May 30, 2014 20:26

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

Fishy Joe posted:

if you wanna hang out with fat gay pansies you've come to the right place my man goon4goon.com

that's closer to a bear than a fem, but with less muscle and proper hygeine

# ? May 30, 2014 20:29

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

supreme gentleman

# ? May 30, 2014 20:30

Magnitogorsk.: Nov 14, 2004; Global warming is barely a big deal at all compared to the trajectory we used to be on. We'll have to do a lot of environmental engineering projects along certain shorelines and it will be a little warmer and wetter in some places, big fucking deal.

unsigned integer

# ? May 30, 2014 20:34

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

When it comes to ladies, I'm surprisingly un-picky. Like, they need a pretty face and decent skin, and that's my main physical criteria. I like big girls as much as small girls, as long as they're healthy enough for basic physical exertion. Things like race and hair color don't matter a wit to me.

As far as guys, it seems easier to point out when they aren't my type frankly. But my time I had dated a drag king showed me I really like the scrawny faggy nerdy art-punk types. :swoon:

Regardless, an intellegent, at least geek-friendly attitude is a must too. So I take it this is the goon-dating thread?

gently caress me, sexy ghost twins

# ? May 30, 2014 20:52

old fat bird: Oct 27, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I like a small bitch, itty bitty titty, fit in my cigarette case,

# ? May 30, 2014 20:55

Cabbages and VHS: Aug 25, 2004; Claire Niveau: I've been around a bit. I've seen some creepy things in the movie business. This is the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me.

Elliot Mantle: I doubt that.

Magnitogorsk. posted:

unsigned integer

# ? May 30, 2014 20:55

BigBoss: Jan 26, 2012; by Lowtax

I like women who are always wearing makeup no matter what. Not just makeup, but full on fake eyelashes, contouring, the works. I dont give a gently caress if it's 5AM and the fire alarm just went off. You better look flawless, bitch.

# ? May 30, 2014 20:58

MS Paint: Sep 21, 2007; Can't post for 9 years!

I already found the love of my life.

Women usually come after me though. I can't help being charming and attractive.

# ? May 30, 2014 20:58

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Magnitogorsk. posted:

unsigned integer

look at this loving primitive

# ? May 30, 2014 21:08

KierkegaardsHo: Mar 21, 2004

Rhonyn Peacemaker posted:

I already found the love of my life.

Women usually come after me though. I can't help being charming and attractive.

This is a cry for help if I've heard one. Line up the fat, gay pansies for this sap, please.

# ? May 30, 2014 21:09

Marta Velasquez: Mar 9, 2013; Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...; Fallen Rib

Germstore posted:

look at this loving primitive

# ? May 30, 2014 21:12

ForceKin: Dec 22, 2009

Fat, neckbeard, penis no larger than 5.5 inches. The smaller the better, really.

Also for some reason they all live with their moms. I swear I don't select for that though, it just keeps happening.

# ? May 30, 2014 21:12

naem: May 29, 2011

unlimited shrimp posted:

Same

# ? May 30, 2014 21:14

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

cognizant and attached to a vagina

# ? May 30, 2014 21:22

MS Paint: Sep 21, 2007; Can't post for 9 years!

KierkegaardsHo posted:

This is a cry for help if I've heard one. Line up the fat, gay pansies for this sap, please.

I'm married. hope this helps.

# ? May 30, 2014 21:46

naem: May 29, 2011

mookface posted:

Is she also the jealous type?

-7 out of ten or higher, so attractive
-Jealous type
-daddy issues
-has a big group of friends who mean the world to her BUT:
-all her friends are "hot" with the fake blonde hair etc and she feel inadequate and also subconsciously some rage

And the kicker is usually that all her friends have BOYFRIENDS NOW I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HAHA IM SO HAPPY DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE HAPPY BOYFIEND!!

That way she's like BOYFRIEND in the back of her head all the time and she'll ignore the kind of idiot trying to pick up on girls in favor of NICE BOYFRIEND

Time things correctly and you can pretty much walk right up and say "hello I am nice boyfriend" and she'll mount you right there

Then you get to have a really horny hosed up six month to two year relationship where you fight and have make up sex constantly, all her friends admit they are really attracted to you, and if things end badly enough (they will) you end up having revenge sex with all her girlfriends.

# ? May 30, 2014 21:48

Broken Bio Qlock: Mar 8, 2009; Nap Ghost

Any women who agrees to go on a date with me.

If she actually shows up, then she is definitely a keeper.

# ? May 30, 2014 21:52

Senior Management: Jul 3, 2011

strong punching fists. For punching.

# ? May 30, 2014 21:55

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

naem posted:

-7 out of ten or higher, so attractive
-Jealous type
-daddy issues
-has a big group of friends who mean the world to her BUT:
-all her friends are "hot" with the fake blonde hair etc and she feel inadequate and also subconsciously some rage

And the kicker is usually that all her friends have BOYFRIENDS NOW I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HAHA IM SO HAPPY DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE HAPPY BOYFIEND!!

That way she's like BOYFRIEND in the back of her head all the time and she'll ignore the kind of idiot trying to pick up on girls in favor of NICE BOYFRIEND

Time things correctly and you can pretty much walk right up and say "hello I am nice boyfriend" and she'll mount you right there

Then you get to have a really horny hosed up six month to two year relationship where you fight and have make up sex constantly, all her friends admit they are really attracted to you, and if things end badly enough (they will) you end up having revenge sex with all her girlfriends.

This is the first 'how to get laid' post on SA that might actually be accurate.

# ? May 30, 2014 21:58

naem: May 29, 2011

I could try to date the high maintainance fake blonde hair "hot" girl type but they usually make pretty terrible gf's, and I know that because they end up sleeping with me eventually

# ? May 30, 2014 22:02

BONE DOG: Jun 7, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

naem posted:

-7 out of ten or higher, so attractive
-Jealous type
-daddy issues
-has a big group of friends who mean the world to her BUT:
-all her friends are "hot" with the fake blonde hair etc and she feel inadequate and also subconsciously some rage

And the kicker is usually that all her friends have BOYFRIENDS NOW I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HAHA IM SO HAPPY DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE HAPPY BOYFIEND!!

That way she's like BOYFRIEND in the back of her head all the time and she'll ignore the kind of idiot trying to pick up on girls in favor of NICE BOYFRIEND

Time things correctly and you can pretty much walk right up and say "hello I am nice boyfriend" and she'll mount you right there

Then you get to have a really horny hosed up six month to two year relationship where you fight and have make up sex constantly, all her friends admit they are really attracted to you, and if things end badly enough (they will) you end up having revenge sex with all her girlfriends.

You sound like you've got it all figured out naem. Thats a pretty bulletproof plan and I support you in your endeavors

# ? May 30, 2014 22:02

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

smart, interesting, doing cool poo poo, fun, funny, fit, tall, good looking, doesn't take no poo poo

basically the same poo poo everyone likes. type is bullshit

# ? May 30, 2014 22:03