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Jmcrofts
Jan 7, 2008

just chillin' in the club

Lipstick Apathy

Crusty Nutsack posted:

I bought a bottle of that El Yucateco Black stuff. Not a fan. Tastes acrid, like burnt leaves or something. Not very hot, either. blech.

Yeah I don't know why that one's so awful, the rest of their sauces are great.

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Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT HOW I GHOULISHLY CELEBRATE THE DEATH OF CHILDREN TO TEACH THEIR PARENTS "A LESSON"


TastyLemonDrops posted:

I tried out some of that Pain is Good garlic habanero sauce that a goon mentioned a while back and it just tastes like salt to me, not garlic. Are there any legit garlic hot sauces that taste like garlic?
Eh, I haven't found one. You could look for a garlic sauce but I think those are generally oil or mayo based.

^^^
I like it

The Ferret King
Nov 23, 2003

cluck cluck

Jmcrofts posted:

Yeah I don't know why that one's so awful, the rest of their sauces are great.

Yeah I've got their green XXX Hot one and it's tasty. Rips me a new one though.

So, what's everyone here do for butthole relief?

xergm
Sep 8, 2009

The Moon is for Sissies!

Eat more hot sauce until it knows who's boss.

The only time I've ever had a problem with that is when I eat something at my heat limit. The burning butthole is actually the relieving part, just wait until you eat something hot enough that your whole intestinal tract hates you. You can actually feel it work it's way through.

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT HOW I GHOULISHLY CELEBRATE THE DEATH OF CHILDREN TO TEACH THEIR PARENTS "A LESSON"


Maybe should be in the cockup thread, but I substituted butter and milk for a bottle of some type of pepper sauce in college and I was in the fetal position until it finally passed.

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007



People don't seem to believe me when I tell them this, but I've spent a lifetime eating hot food, and I've never once had that problem.

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!

Squashy Nipples posted:

People don't seem to believe me when I tell them this, but I've spent a lifetime eating hot food, and I've never once had that problem.

I believe you, I've never had that problem either but I have the metabolism of a snake.

The Ferret King
Nov 23, 2003

cluck cluck

Must be nice.

Shbobdb
Dec 16, 2010

by Smythe


Squashy Nipples posted:

People don't seem to believe me when I tell them this, but I've spent a lifetime eating hot food, and I've never once had that problem.

Can I ask how old you are? I never had that problem until I turned 32. Then it started to hit me like a freight train out of nowhere. I blame Beijing. Something . . . happened there. And it forever changed my bowels.

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007



I'm a bit past 40. The only time I've ever had burning was the occasional bout of diarrhea.

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg

The Ferret King posted:

So, what's everyone here do for butthole relief?

Sour cream tampon.

I'm joking. That's gross, and you would smell like rotten milk after a few hours.

Preparation H might help.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.


Squashy Nipples posted:

People don't seem to believe me when I tell them this, but I've spent a lifetime eating hot food, and I've never once had that problem.

And also, Mrs Squashy keeps a jar of extra hot ground red chiles that she liberally sprinkles onto her meals before tucking in. Sprinkles onto the meals that she's already added plenty of heat to. Mind you, her food is extremely delicious, but not at all shy with the heat.

Also, thanks to your questions, Ferret King, I found a website called the Poop Report. Where people endlessly talk about poop.

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!

I didn't even know that was a real thing until now, always thought it was a joke. So your butthole seriously burns?

QuarkMartial
Sep 25, 2004
[This Space for Rent]

xergm posted:

Eat more hot sauce until it knows who's boss.

The only time I've ever had a problem with that is when I eat something at my heat limit. The burning butthole is actually the relieving part, just wait until you eat something hot enough that your whole intestinal tract hates you. You can actually feel it work it's way through.

I felt that with some hot chicken I ate a while back. So good, but so much heat. I felt it the entire night. It's nice knowing your limit.


On the other hand, I never felt so alive



E: just bought a giant bottle of Valentina for 2 bucks

QuarkMartial fucked around with this message at Sep 1, 2015 around 04:05

The Ferret King
Nov 23, 2003

cluck cluck

wormil posted:

I didn't even know that was a real thing until now, always thought it was a joke. So your butthole seriously burns?

Yep. A lot.

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!

[[ Please wait, retrieving information... ]]
drat, it sucks to be you guys.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

I would never shop at Costco. The paper towels won't fit into my sports car!

Posted this in general questions, but no answer really.

I've just bottled some Louisiana style hot sauce I've had aging for two years now. I'm afraid some light got to it, which resulted in the color being not as bright red as I'd like - more of a brownish red like old Tapatio. The sauce tastes good, but it has a distinctly ketchupy smell to it that I wasn't expecting. I'm unsure if this is due to the light damage doing something to the pepper oils (kind of like skunking in beer), or if there was some sort of fermentation that happened, or if it was because I used a different variety of peppers than I normally do. Does anyone have any thoughts? The recipe was a mixture of red jalapenos, thai bird chiles, fresno chiles, and tobasco chiles, rough chopped and boiled in salty vinegar for 5 minutes or so, then put into the jar and forgotten about until now.

taqueso
Mar 8, 2004




:bernget:


Fun Shoe

We're the lids tight? If fermentation happened, there would be pressure and carbonation or exploded jars.

I don't know if light makes a difference, but now you have me considering moving the bhut jolokias I am fermenting to a darker place.

Gegil
Jun 22, 2012

Smoke'em if you Got'em

How clean was the jar / lid before you filled them? Did you clean / treat them like you were going to Can with them?

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

I would never shop at Costco. The paper towels won't fit into my sports car!

Iodine solution

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008


Pillbug

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Posted this in general questions, but no answer really.

I've just bottled some Louisiana style hot sauce I've had aging for two years now. I'm afraid some light got to it, which resulted in the color being not as bright red as I'd like - more of a brownish red like old Tapatio. The sauce tastes good, but it has a distinctly ketchupy smell to it that I wasn't expecting. I'm unsure if this is due to the light damage doing something to the pepper oils (kind of like skunking in beer), or if there was some sort of fermentation that happened, or if it was because I used a different variety of peppers than I normally do. Does anyone have any thoughts? The recipe was a mixture of red jalapenos, thai bird chiles, fresno chiles, and tobasco chiles, rough chopped and boiled in salty vinegar for 5 minutes or so, then put into the jar and forgotten about until now.

Red jalapenos have always been really sweet, with a faint ketchupy taste to me. Fresnos are also definitely sweet. Without something else distinctive to overpower them (garlic, fish sauce, shrimp paste, juice, w/e) red jalapenos, fresnos and vinegar seem like they would definitely be the ketchupy culprit to me.

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007



dino. posted:

And also, Mrs Squashy keeps a jar of extra hot ground red chiles that she liberally sprinkles onto her meals before tucking in. Sprinkles onto the meals that she's already added plenty of heat to. Mind you, her food is extremely delicious, but not at all shy with the heat.

Yep. I have a pretty strong tolerance for heat, so she makes things to my level, and then adds more heat for herself.

She's been enjoying this lately:



We brought a bottle back from Curacao, but we've since found it locally at a few Caribbean markets. Straight pickled Scotch Bonnets, great stuff.

Fake James
Aug 18, 2005

Y'all got any more of that plastic?


Buglord

Dumb question, but do hot sauces have to be refrigerated, or can they safely sit unsealed on a pantry shelf? Do they spoil, or does the vinegar content keep that from happening?

I have a couple of 1 - 3 month old bottles that I want to use but I'm not too sure about...

edit: Also, I want to try my hand at making my own hot sauce! Is there a recommended starter recipe, or should I just dive into making NosmoKing's recipe?

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT HOW I GHOULISHLY CELEBRATE THE DEATH OF CHILDREN TO TEACH THEIR PARENTS "A LESSON"


I don't refrigerate mine.

pr0k
Jan 16, 2001

"Well if it's gonna be
that kind of party..."

They keep better for longer in the fridge but it's not necessary at all.

niss
Jul 9, 2008

the amazing gnome

Geoff Zahn posted:

edit: Also, I want to try my hand at making my own hot sauce! Is there a recommended starter recipe, or should I just dive into making NosmoKing's recipe?

Recipe is a good place to start.. But the best part is just to experiment and see what you come up with and what you like.

taqueso
Mar 8, 2004




:bernget:


Fun Shoe

Geoff Zahn posted:

Dumb question, but do hot sauces have to be refrigerated, or can they safely sit unsealed on a pantry shelf? Do they spoil, or does the vinegar content keep that from happening?

I have a couple of 1 - 3 month old bottles that I want to use but I'm not too sure about...

edit: Also, I want to try my hand at making my own hot sauce! Is there a recommended starter recipe, or should I just dive into making NosmoKing's recipe?

You need to get the pH under 4 so that nothing bad can grow, then the sauce is considered shelf stable. If the bottle of a commercial sauce doesn't say 'keep refrigerated' then it should be fine.

Check out thehotpepper.com, the forums have a lot of good information: http://thehotpepper.com/topic/29501...-hot-sauce-101/

I made a sauce recently with hot peppers, sweet onions, carrots, pineapple juice, mango, salt, vinegar and it was great. You can pretty much do whatever you want.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014




Pillbug

If you make your own sauces and experiment, make a record of what you put in so if something awesome happens you can do it again.

Fake James
Aug 18, 2005

Y'all got any more of that plastic?


Buglord

Ended up trying the following. It was... okay. Not much of an initial kick, but it's there in the aftertaste.

2 habaneros
3 cloves garlic
1/2 cup white onion
4 oz serrano peppers
4 oz diced tomatoes
1 tsp salt
1 cup water

simmered for 20 minutes, then put all ingredients in a blender along with 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar and 1 tbsp brown sugar.

First taste of it was way too much like the apple cider vinegar. After it was refrigerated it tasted more peppery. Would probably go good on pork. Next time I'll probably use white vinegar instead, and add more habaneros.

Fake James fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2015 around 21:30

shankerz
Dec 7, 2014

Must Go Faster!


Anyone know of a good hot sauce that can be used to beef up a garlic aolie?

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014




Pillbug

shankerz posted:

Anyone know of a good hot sauce that can be used to beef up a garlic aolie?

I'd be inclined to just use straight peppers, cayenne, or hot paprika, as your taste and circumstances require. Sambal Oelek might also be a good choice.

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT HOW I GHOULISHLY CELEBRATE THE DEATH OF CHILDREN TO TEACH THEIR PARENTS "A LESSON"


I like chipotle peppers in adobe.

rj54x
Sep 16, 2007


So all of my habaneros ripened at once. Any habanero sauce recipes that will last a fairly long time? I don't want to wind up with a huge batch that'll go bad in a week's time.

taqueso
Mar 8, 2004




:bernget:


Fun Shoe

If you get the pH under 4, it will keep for a very long time. You can get pH strips for a few $ or a cheap pH meter for about $15.

shankerz
Dec 7, 2014

Must Go Faster!


CommonShore posted:

I'd be inclined to just use straight peppers, cayenne, or hot paprika, as your taste and circumstances require. Sambal Oelek might also be a good choice.

Good call on the samba oelek, after much testing this won out the best IMO.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014




Pillbug

shankerz posted:

Good call on the samba oelek, after much testing this won out the best IMO.

That poo poo works in anything where you want just a general red chili taste. Unlike lots of hot sauces it doesn't add secondary flavours like vinegar, oak, or other seasonings to whatever you're cooking. EG, I use it in chilli sometimes, depending on what I have in my cupboards, and it doesn't add any out-of-place layer to the flavour like srirracha or something like tobasco.

Nine of Eight
Apr 28, 2011


Dinosaur Gum

Piment d'espelette would also be a decent choice for an Aioli

mostlygray
Nov 1, 2012

BURY ME AS I LIVED, A FREE MAN ON THE CLUTCH


rj54x posted:

So all of my habaneros ripened at once. Any habanero sauce recipes that will last a fairly long time? I don't want to wind up with a huge batch that'll go bad in a week's time.

When I've got a lot of habaneros, I just roast them along side onions and garlic and make hot sauce in little bottles. I cut it about 50/50 with vinegar and blend them up until smooth. Tastes kind of sweet and not too hot at all. It likes a fair amount of salt so taste test as you're boiling the mixture. Shelf stable for years, especially if you process the bottles.

Sambal Oelek is good too but I wonder if habaneros are too spicy.

Roasted tomatillos are a good addition too. Just make sure that you're processing the jars properly and keeping the PH below 4 as mentioned above.

niss
Jul 9, 2008

the amazing gnome

I found my Halloween costume this year.

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Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


I bought some pepper and garlic antipasto from Publix the other day off of the olive bar. Holy crap, that stuff was surprisingly spicy. Turns out it's straight chilli peppers in there. The peppers themselves are actually less hot then the oil. Hurts pretty good. Gonna use it as some dressing on a particularly mild batch of meatballs and sauce mom made.

I may never have a cold again. The spice blows out your sinuses, and the whole garlic cloves hunt down the vampire particulates in the cold virus.

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