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Ballz
Dec 16, 2003

it's mario time



TURN OFF AVATARS AND SIGNATURES WHEN YOU READ THIS THREAD... AND PROBABLY EVERY OTHER THREAD TOO





Thread History (h/t In It For the Tank)

Season 1: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - Ned Head Redemption - Early Episode 7 Thread
Season 2: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - Shadow Baby
Season 3: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - Dracarys - The Red Wedding
Season 4: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Hiatus - Spoiler - The Purple Wedding - White Walkerpalooza



Episode 4.08 of Game of Thrones airs on HBO on June 01, 9pm EDT.

NO SPOILERS, NO BOOK TALK, AND FOR THE LOVE OF THE RED GOD NO TALK ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF SPOILERS AND BOOKS

Bobo the Red posted:

If someone asks something we don't know about in the show, the answer is "we don't know".

Saying Sansa gets more interesting is a spoiler, because it tells me, for example, that Little finger is highly unlikely to kill her next episode. Which is probably fine, I doubt anyone really thought that. Except someone is gonna gently caress up and say something that does spoil things, and the only way to prevent that is to keep book chat out entirely. It's not that it's not interesting, it's that you can't know what may or may not come up on the show, and some people want to experience it unspoiled.

There are other threads to talk about the books in. The OP includes a list of people to PM if you want just that one spoiler. If you can't separate your viewing of the show from your reading of the books, then this might not be the thread for you.

If you're absolutely dying to know, any questions about the books can be sent by PM to
Toast Museum
Revenant Threshold
Ballz
Carlton Banks Teller
Max
The Kawaiiest
Hedrigall

We know our stuff.



Recap, rewritten/edited from the GoT wiki:

Meereen

Daenerys Targaryan returns to her private bedchambers for the evening when she is surprised to find Daario Naharis waiting for her. She feigns outrage at the intrusion, but agrees to hear him out.

Daario laments that he is only good at two things: killing men and sleeping with women, and that he has no opportunities to pursue either strength in Meereen. Dany counters that the Second Sons are currently acting as Meereen's police force and that there are many women in the city who would throw themselves at him; Daario dismisses the Second Sons' role as unchallenging and says the only woman he wants isn't interested. He begs Daenerys to send him and the Second Sons to make real war. Instead, Dany focuses on Daario's other proclaimed talent and orders him to remove his clothes.

The following morning, Daario on his way out bumps into Ser Jorah Mormont on his way in. The unusually chipper Daario says that it's a good time to talk to the queen, as she is in a very good mood. The eternally friendzoned Jorah is not amused, but Daenerys dismisses his concerns about her intimate life.

Daenerys tells Jorah that she is sending Daario and his Second Sons to reclaim Yunkai and kill the slave masters who have resurfaced. Jorah relates to the mercy shown by Eddard Stark for his dealings in slavery and suggests Daenerys to bring the masters to justice without execution. Daenerys considers her loyal knight's advice for a moment and then tells Jorah to assign Meereenese noble Hizdahr zo Loraq as her ambassador to offer the masters a choice: they can live free in the new world she wants to create, or they can die clinging to their old one. The Second Sons will be stationed in Yunkai to enforce whichever choice the masters make. She also says to let Daario know that it was Jorah who changed her mind.


Dragonstone

Queen Selyse Baratheon pays a visit to Melisandre, who is enjoying a bath. She quips that the Lord of Light told her to enjoy it as it was the last time she would have a good bath, but the joke goes over Selyse's head. To cement Selyse's position as Melisandre's most devoted follower, the Red Priestess tells her about using potions and illusions in serving the Lord of Light and that a bit of pageantry and deception in helping converts see the truth will be forgiven later on. Selyse, staring at Melisandre's naked figure, asks her if she used the potions when she slept with Stannis, to which she replies that she did not.

Selyse then remarks on her desire to leave her daughter Shireen Baratheon behind when they leave Dragonstone to meet up with Stannis, but Melisandre is as dismissive about Shireen's "heresy" as she always is, and assures Selyse that Shireen will be needed where they are going. Why Melisandre would "need" an adorable child remains ominously ambiguous.


The Riverlands

Arya Stark and Sandor "The Hound" Clegane continue on their journey to the Vale when they encounter a ​dying man in a ransacked village. Their conversation with the man becomes a bit philosophical, as all three know the man cannot survive his injuries, but at the same time the man is hesitant to grant the mercy of a quick death.

"Nothing could be worse than this," Arya notes. "Maybe nothing is worse than this," the man replies.

"Nothing isn't... better or worse than anything," the girl counters. "Nothing is just nothing."

The man is a bit stunned to hear such cold words coming from a little girl, but seems to recognize the futility of the situation. After taking a drink from Sandor's flask, the Hound quickly drives his knife into the man's heart. "That's how you kill a man," he instructs Arya, but no sooner than the words leave his lips, the Hound is ambushed from behind by Biter who lives up to his name by sinking his teeth into Sandor's neck.

It's a brief struggle as Sandor is able to snap Biter's neck and drop the criminal -- once destined for the Wall -- lifelessly to the ground.

Standing with sword in hand nearby is Biter's companion, Rorge, who tells the Hound he has a price on his head. "Is that what the King does when you tell him to gently caress off?" Sandor mutters. But Rorge replies King Joffrey died at his wedding, and the bounty is for killing Lannister soldiers.

Arya recognizes Rorge and Biter as the ruthless prisoners who were locked away with Jaqen H'ghar before they were all captured and sent to Harrenhal. Arya notes the only reason the man isn't on her List of people she plans to kill is because she simply doesn't know his name. That's easily rectified: the Hound asks the man his name. Rorge tells it. Arya thanks him, then quickly drives Needle into Rorge's heart.

Arya Stark is a fast learner.

Later on, Sandor is clumsily trying to clean and sew up his wounds from Biter. Arya suggests burning to cauterize the wound, but is rebuffed by Sandor's fear of fire. Sandor confirms the story of his facial scars from burns inflicted by Gregor's wrath and how his father covered up the truth, making him feel alone. Arya offers to clean and stitch him up, and Sandor allows her to.

Meanwhile, Brienne of Tarth and Podrick Payne stop at the Inn at the Crossroads, where they are served kidney pie made by none other than Hot Pie, who proceeds to tell them at length the process in finding the right ingredients. Brienne is in no mood to learn the secrets of good gravy and instead tells Hot Pie that she is in Lady Stark's service to find and protect Sansa Stark. Hot Pie becomes visibly nervous and leaves after addressing the Starks as traitors.

The next morning as Brienne and Podrick prepare to leave the inn, Podrick reminds Brienne that telling people of their quest could be dangerous, but Brienne's honesty is swiftly rewarded when Hot Pie approaches and gives them a loaf of bread shaped like a wolf. He tells them that he knows nothing of Sansa, but last saw Arya alive and hints that she was being sought by the Hound. Podrick, having memorized the complex family trees of the Great Houses, suggests that they head to the Eyrie, realizing that Lysa Arryn is the Hound's only remaining chance of a ransom.




The Wall

Jon Snow and his fellow brothers return from Craster's Keep. At the first sight of Jon's direwolf, Ghost, acting Lord Commander Alliser Thorne sends the "beast" away, outside Castle Black.

Later on Jon tries to convince the Night's Watch to barricade the Wall by blocking off Castle Black's entry tunnel against the Wilding invasion, warning that Mance Rayder and his Wildling army should arrive by the next full moon. Thorne and Janos Slynt mock Jon and remind him of his place in the Watch. But they then humor him by asking if First Builder Othell Yarwyck agrees with Jon's defensive tactics. Yarwyck, horrified that someone has actually acknowledged his existence on this show, stares at them reluctantly for a few moments, before meekly disagreeing with the proposed tunnel defenses. Thorne then punishes Jon by assigning him to serve as sentry on top of the Wall, along with Samwell Tarly, until Mance arrives.


King's Landing

In his prison cell, Tyrion Lannister discusses his fate with his brother Jaime, and the irony of Lord Tywin striking down both his heirs if Jaime were to die being Tyrion's champion in the upcoming Trial by Combat. Jaime however, declines to be Tyrion's champion as he cannot fight well enough with his left hand. And who will Tyrion's champion ultimately be fighting against?

Just outside the gates of King's Landing, Cersei Lannister is admiring her chosen champion, Gregor "The Mountain" Clegane. The Mountain is doing his equivalent of batting practice by taking on prisoners, all the while wearing no armor and wielding a great sword. The match is still a tad one-sided as the prisoners, who have been given basic maces and swords themselves, are quickly cut down by The Mountain.

Cersei approaches him and thanks him for his quick return to King's Landing from the Riverlands. Gregor asks who he will be fighting in the Trial by Combat, to which Cersei asks if it matters. The Mountain shakes his head.

Back at Tyrion's cell, Tyrion goes to his backup choice for champion: Bronn. After being summoned, Bronn greets Tyrion wearing the clothes of a lord, as he has been in the courtship of a Stokeworth daughter, thanks to the dealings of Cersei. Tyrion wonders why Bronn even showed up, but Bronn reminds Tyrion he once told him that if someone tries to sell him out, Tyrion would double whatever is offered. Unfortunately up against his elder sister, Tyrion's offers of an eventual lordship and land in the North are of little interest to Bronn. Bronn declines to fight The Mountain, knowing the elder Clegane brother is far too dangerous (and fast for his immense size) to face.

"Maybe I could take him," Bronn says. "Dance around until he's so tired of hacking at me he drops his sword... get him off his feet somehow. But one misstep and I'm dead. Why should I risk it?"

He later adds, "I like you, pampered little poo poo that you are. I just like myself more." And with that and a handshake, the two men part ways.

Who's left to be Tyrion's champion? It's becoming increasingly likely it'd be Tyrion himself... wouldn't that make for a great song? As desperation begins to set in, Tyrion receives another visitor unannounced: Prince Oberyn Martell.

Oberyn relates to Tyrion of his disappointment in their very first encounter; as children, Oberyn and his sister Elia were told stories of the "Lannister Monster" and his extreme deformities. During a childhood visit to Casterly Rock, Cersei showed Tyrion -- with great ceremony -- to Oberyn and Elia. Oberyn tells Tyrion that he saw no monster, just a baby. Cersei told Oberyn and his sister that Tyrion killed her mother, and then began to cruelly assault Tyrion until Jaime stopped her.

Oberyn tells Tyrion that he seeks justice for the death of his sister, and Tyrion replies that he's "come to the wrong place" if it's justice he seeks. Oberyn counters that he is in the perfect place; all those he means to bring to justice for his sister's murder are close at hand.

"I will begin with Ser Gregor Clegane," the Red Viper informs Tyrion, "who killed my sister's children... and then raped her with their blood still on his hands, before killing her, too.

"I will be your champion."




The Eyrie

While wandering the Eyrie's snow-covered courtyards, Sansa Stark builds a snow replica of Winterfell. Robin Arryn chances upon her and seems impressed with her efforts. The cousins get along well until Robin asks where the Moon Door is. Sansa tells him Winterfell doesn't have a Moon Door.

Robin insists her replica needs a Moon Door, and Sansa agrees to add one, but in the process, Robin knocks over a castle tower. This irritates Sansa and Robin throws a tantrum in response. Unable to control her anger, Sansa slaps Robin. Shocked at this sudden burst of discipline, Robin threatens to tell his mother and runs away in tears.

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish witnesses the act and assures Sansa that he will deal with Lysa, who he says should discipline her child more often, anyways. Petyr muses on how he should have been Sansa's father, but then tells Sansa that she is more beautiful than her mother Catelyn ever was. Before Sansa can really respond to the sudden influx of creepiness, Petyr kisses Sansa on the lips.

Unbeknownst to the pair, the kiss is seen by Lysa. Later on, Sansa is summoned by Lysa, who proceeds to explain the gory details about Moon Door executions. Lysa then grabs Sansa and threatens to throw her out for kissing Petyr. She is stopped when Petyr arrives and swears by everything he can think of that he will send Sansa away from the Eyrie.

Lysa tearfully releases Sansa and embraces Petyr, who assures Lysa that he only ever loved one woman...


"Your sister."





    Glossary

  • Andals – The primary people of Westeros
  • The Blackwater – A large river flowing from the Westerlands until it meets the sea at King's Landing
  • The Brotherhood Without Banners – A troupe of bandits harrying Lannister forces in the Riverlands
  • Children of the Forest – An extinct supernatural race that previously inhabited the North.
  • The Citadel – The headquarters and school for the Maesters.
  • City Watch – The organisation responsible for keeping the peace in King's Landing
  • Crannogmen – The isolationist people that live in the swamps of the Neck.
  • Dorne – The lands governed by House Martell, traditionally isolationist from the rest of the Seven Kingdoms
  • The Dothraki – A tribe of warriors renowned for their skill at horse-riding
  • The Drowned God – The primary God worshipped by the Ironmen
  • Essos – The eastern continent across the Narrow Sea
  • The Faceless Men – A league of assassins from Braavos
  • The First Men – The humans that settled the North.
  • Ironmen – The inhabitants of the Iron Islands, famed for their ships and pillaging tendencies
  • The Kingsguard – An order of seven knights who dedicate their lives in service of protecting the King
  • The Maesters – An organisation of learned men, identified by the chains around their neck
  • The Night's Watch – The organisation responsible for guarding the Wall
  • The Old Gods – The nameless Gods worshipped by the northmen
  • R'hollor – The Lord of Light, a deity primarily worshipped in the Free Cities of Essos
  • The Red Priests – The collection of monks that worship R'hllor
  • Sept – A temple of the Seven
  • The Seven – The most popular faith in Westeros, the seven Gods are: the Father, the Mother, the Smith, the Maiden, the Warrior, the Crone and the Stranger
  • Slaver's Bay – A trio of cities in Essos known for being the prime players in the slave trade
  • Small Council – The body of advisors to the King that aids him in running the realm
  • The Unsullied – A legion of slave soldiers that have been castrated and trained to ensure absolute obedience
  • Valar Morghulis – Traditional greeting in High Valyrian, literally means "All Men Must Die"
  • Valyria – The original homeland of the Targaryen dynasty
  • Weirwood – A white tree with blood red trees, a place of worship to the Old Gods
  • The White Book - aka The Book of Brothers. A ponderous tome filled with the 300-year history of every member of the Kingsguard
  • Wights – Raised corpses controlled by the White Walkers, impervious to all harm save fire
  • Wildfire – A dangerous liquid that catches alight when exposed to air
  • The White Walkers – Mysterious creatures who live north of the Wall, highly dangerous
  • Wildlings – The unorganised savages who live north of the Wall


Maps of Westeros and Essos (click to embiggen)



(that last map by theMountainGoat and Tear, modified by EccoRaven)


Useful Resources

HBO viewer's guide:
http://viewers-guide.hbo.com/

Read the books or don't give a poo poo about being spoilered? This is the thread for you:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3570018

A Song of Fire and Ice book thread (aka The Bad Thread):
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3305853

Westeros Forums (wiki contains spoilers!!!):
http://asoiaf.westeros.org/

AVOID COMMENTS

Show only wiki (still fills in lots of blanks using the books):
http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/

History and Lore of Westeros: Season 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSuXBVv4ppY

History and Lore of Westeros: Season 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b93mfEI2Kb0

History and Lore of Westeros: Season 3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es3VVgFq9nQ


The Rains of Castamere (The National) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozVcbIc5yWI
The Rains of Castamere (Sigur Rós) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3QW8PVyyNM


The Bear and the Maiden Fair (The Hold Steady) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3b7fZIT0nk
The Bear and the Maiden Fair ( version) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARfQtFKQtZo



Video recap for those of you who just paged down a bunch of times to skip my wall of text

Ballz fucked around with this message at Jun 1, 2014 around 00:01

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Ballz
Dec 16, 2003

it's mario time



Character Guide

King's Landing


Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage)
The Imp, guilty of being a dwarf. Last Seen: Has his champion. Hang in there, Tyrion.


Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance)
The Hand of the King. Last Seen: For once not being the man with the plan.


Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau)
Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, no sword-hand. Last Seen: Useless in a fight.


Tommen Baratheon (Dean Charles Chapman)
Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, bastard born of incest and protected by his loyal Kittenguard. Last Seen: Recusing himself so he can attend a tea party with Lady Whiskers.


Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey)
Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Tommen's mother. Last Seen: Asking Gregor for tips on keeping her youthful looks.


Mace Tyrell (Roger Ashton-Griffiths)
Patriarch of House Tyrell, a fuckup in everyone's eyes but his own. Last seen: Just happy to be part of something.


Margaery Tyrell (Natalie Dormer)
Betrothed of Joffrey Tommen, skilled at politics. Last Seen: Putting Sticky Paws tape on all the furniture


Olenna Tyrell (Diana Rigg)
The Queen of Thorns, don't got no time for jibber-jabber. Last Seen: Noooo don't leave us.


Loras Tyrell (Finn Jones)
The Knight of Flowers, one-time lover of Renly. Last Seen: Trying desperately not to fall asleep during the trial.


Gregor Clegane (Hafthor Julius Bjornsson)
The Mountain that Rides, brutal SOB. Last Seen: In stupidly obvious forced perspective shots.


Bronn (Jerome Flynn)
A sellsword and a knight, loyal to money. Last Seen: Asking Jaime to plan his bachelor party.


Varys the Spider (Conleth Hill)
Master of Whisperers, a eunuch who never forgets. Loyalties unknown. Last Seen: Forgot where he parked.


Shae (Sibel Kekilli)
A prostitute, origins unknown, Sansa's hand maid. Last Seen: Et tu, Shae?


Not Shae (Not Sibel Kekilli)
Sansa's other hand maid, totally obvious spy. Last Seen: Spoilering Cersei on season 4.


Pycelle (Julian Glover)
The Grand Maester, not as frail as he looks. Last Seen: Oh, like we didn't see that betrayal coming.


Lancel Lannister (Eugene Simon)
Pretty like a girl, has a stupid name. Last Seen: Umm... so did you like, die or something?


Meryn Trant (Ian Beattie)
Knight of the Kingsguard, slayer of the greatest swordsman who ever lived. Last Seen: A grub in fancy armour... who can memorize events word-for-word, apparently.


Olyver (Will Tudor)
Ros with a penis. Takes care of the place while Littlefinger is away. Last Seen: Negotiating with a Prince.


Oberyn Martell aka The Red Viper (Pedro Pascal)
Second Prince of Dorne, friend of all the ladies... and some gents. Last Seen: Officially gaining title of Best Character on Game of Thrones.


Ellaria Sand (Indira Varma)
Oberyn's paramour, definitely not Shae. Last Seen: Planning to invite Cersei for a girl's night out.


Qyburn (Anton Lesser)
A disgraced Maester. Last Seen: Advising Cersei to put some aspirin between her knees.



Dragonstone


Melisandre (Carice Van Houten)
The Red Lady of R'hollor, mysterious and powerful. Last Seen: Telling truth about deception.


Selyse Baratheon (Tara Fitzgerald)
Queen of Dragonstone, batshit loco. Last Seen: Winner over Lysa Arryn for Mum of the Year by default.


Shireen Baratheon (Kerry Ingram)
Messed up face, still cute as a button. Last Seen: As Davos' muse.



The Riverlands


Arya Stark (Maisie Williams)
A very dangerous girl... now with a Needle and a pony! Last Seen: Thinking of a career as a motivational speaker.


Sandor Clegane (Rory McCann)
The Hound, scarred as a child by his brother. Last Seen: In need of rabies shots.


Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie)
A strong woman talented in battle, well known for her lack of beauty. Last Seen: Biting the head off the wolfbread while no one's looking.


Podrick Payne (Daniel Portman)
Tyrion's squire, surprisingly badass. Last Seen: Damnit Pod, go left. You're always supposed to


Hot Pie (Ben Hawkey)
Baker at the Inn at the Crossroads, friend of Arya and Gendry. Last Seen: Not ever giving up on the gravy.


Rorge (Andy Beckworth)
His name is Rorge. That's about the extent of his character. Last Seen: Oh hey, that guy from way-back-when is back and oh alright nevermind then.



The Vale


Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner)
Tyrion's wife, Littlefinger's ummm... "daughter." Last Seen: Well this is getting pretty awkward.


Lysa Arryn (Kate Dickie)
Catelyn's baby sister, Lady Regent of the Vale and nuttier than a fruitcake. Last Words: "You were supposed to say 'Only Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat..."



Sweetrobin Arryn (Lino Facioli)
Lysa's sickly, equally crazy son. Last Seen: First act as ruler of the Vale: Every home must have at least one Moon Door installed.


Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish (Aidan Gillen)
Lord of Harrenhal, suitor of Catelyn as a child. Last Seen: Pushing book readers out the Moon Door.



The Dreadfort


Roose Bolton (Michael McElhatton)
Robb's bannerman, supports flaying prisoners. Last Seen: Looking to replace the carpets at Winterfell.


Reek (Alfie Allen)
Pet of Ramsay Snow, not even a man. Last Seen: Doing research on who this "Theon Greyjoy" fellow is.


Ramsay Snow (Iwan Rheon)
Bastard son of Roose Bolton, loving psychopath. Last Seen: Rewarding loyalty.


Yara Greyjoy (Gemma Whelan)
Theon's sister, a fearsome warrior. Last Seen: That wasn't exactly the most fearsome of retreats, Yara.


Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen)
Heir to the Iron Islands, captured and killed by the Boltons. Last Seen:


Myranda (Charlotte Hope)
Ramsay Snow, but with boobs. Last Seen: Forgetting the safe word.



The North


Ygritte (Rose Leslie)
A wildling, obnoxious but in a good way. Last Seen: Creating a potato famine.


Tormund Giantsbane (Kristofer Hivju)
A wildling, owns a magnificent beard. Last Seen: Killing (time) with the Thenns.


Styr (Yuri Kolokolnikov)
Heavily scarred Magnar of Thenn. I fuckin' hate Thenns. Last Seen: Growing a mustache that he can twirl.


Osha (Natalia Tena)
A wildling, guardian of Bran and Rickon. Last Seen: Heading off on the most silent journey ever.


Rickon Stark (Art Richardson)
Bran's little brother, loves walnuts. Last Seen: Saying the most things he has ever said on this show.


Gilly (Hannah Murray)
A wildling, first-time mother. Last Seen: Rewatching Boardwalk Empire for tips on raising kids in brothels



The Night's Watch


Jon Snow (Kit Harrington)
A bastard by birth, mouth perpetually open. Last Seen: With words falling on deaf ears


Samwell Tarly (James Bradley)
A steward of the Night's Watch, total loving goon. Last Seen: Looking forward to making snow forts at the top of the Wall with Jon.


Grenn (Mark Stanley)
A ranger of the Night's Watch. Always Seen: Looking stupid.


Dolorous Edd (Ben Crompton)
A ranger of the Night's Watch, kind of sarcastic. Last Seen: Surprisingly good in a fight.


Alliser Thorne (Owen Teale)
Acting commander of the Night's Watch, really hates Jon. Last Seen: Assigning Jon to latrine duty.


Maester Aemon (Peter Vaughan)
Blind, ancient maester who was heir to the Iron Throne in another lifetime. Last Seen: Planning an election.


Janos Slynt (Dominic Carter)
Incompetant ex-Commander of the City Watch, exiled to The Wall. Last Seen: With a head like a perfectly-shaped penis.


Potato Boy (Brenock O'Conner)
Only surviving member of the Potato Clan, likes potatoes and archery. Last Seen: Looking on the GoT wiki to find out what the hell his name really is.


Pyp (Josef Altin)
Steward of the Night's Watch, Jon's buddy. Last Seen: Being of no consequence to anyone, ever.


Bowen Marsh Othell Yarwyck (Brian Fortune)
First Steward Builder of the Night's Watch, has fewer lines than Rickon Stark. Last seen: As shocked as you that he got a line.



North of the Wall


Bran Stark (Isaac Hempstead-Wright)
A cripple and a warg. Last Seen: One does not simply warg into Hodor...


Jojen Reed (Thomas Brodie-Sangster)
A crannogman, blessed with green dreams. Last Seen: Bitchin' hand flames, bro.


Meera Reed (Ellie Kendrick)
A crannogwoman and a skilled fighter. Last Seen: Oh thank the gods that didn't happen, but let's have 20 pages of rapechat anyways!


Hodor (Kristian Nairn)
Hodor hodor hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor. Hodor hodor: Ho... hodor? Hodor!


Mance Rayder (Ciaran Hinds)
The King Beyond the Wall. Last Seen: Still looking for those matches... any day now, buddy.


Rattleshirt (Edward Dogliani)
The Lord of Bones, a wildling. Last Seen: So that's what he looks like!


Oh poo poo (Richard Brake)
Oh poo poo! Last Seen: Ohhhhhh poo poo!



Mutherfuckin' Braavos


Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane)
The rightful heir to the Iron Throne, dour as gently caress. Last Seen: Letting his Hand do the talking


Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham)
The Onion Knight, a seasoned smuggler. Last Seen: Making mad bank.


Tycho Nestoris (Mark Gatiss)
Representative of the Iron Bank, not easily swayed. Last Seen: Getting easily swayed.


Salladhor Saan (Lucian Msamati)
A pirate, married four times (minimum). Last Seen: Working on his standup.



Meereen


Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke)
Last survivor of the Targaryen dynasty, the Mother of Dragons. Last Seen: Planning to reliberate Yunkai.


Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen)
A knight in exile, permanently friend zoned. Last Seen: Carrying his printer halfway across Meereen to Dany's bedroom.


Barristan Selmy (Ian McElhinney)
The former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Last Seen: C'mon, you're gonna make him stand? Give gramps a chair!


Daario Naharis (Michiel Huisman)
Commander of the Second Sons, an aesthete. Last Seen: Doing as the Queen commands.


Kovarro (Steven Cole)
A Dothraki bloodrider. Last Seen: Recast as "Dothraki Extra #4"


Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel)
Handmaiden and translator to Daenerys, formerly a slave. Last Seen: Just making the translations up as she goes along


Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson)
Commander of the Unsullied. Last Seen: Involved in stupid exposition.


Hizdahr zo Loraq (Joel Fry)
A Ghiscari noble of Meereen. Last Seen: Showing Dany the world's not so black and white.



Neither here nor there aka Who knows when we'll see these guys again


Edmure Tully (Tobias Menzies)
Lord of Riverrun, colossal fuckup, prisoner of the Freys. Last Seen: Uncaging the monster


Brynden Tully (Clive Russell)
The Blackfish, Catelyn's uncle. Last Seen: Turning down ladies, taking a leak


Walder Frey (David Bradley)
Lord of the Twins and I guess now Riverrun too, an old man with lots of descendants. Last Seen: Heh.


Black Walder (Tim Plester)
A Frey. Last Seen: In the goofiest loving cap.


Lame Lothar (Tom Brooke)
A Frey. Last Seen: Did we really need two of you?


Gendry (Joe Dempsie)
One of Robert's bastards, ex-blacksmith's apprentice. Last Seen: paddling in a circle outside King's Landing.


Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer)
The Lightning Lord, repeatedly brought back from the dead. Last Seen: Lying to himself.


Thoros of Myr (Paul Kaye)
A Red Priest of the Brotherhood. Last Seen: Off on a lion hunt.


Anguy (Philip McGinley)
A member of the Brotherhood, highly skilled at archery. Last Seen: Can't even catch a little girl.


Kevan Lannister (Ian Gelder)
Tywin's brother and trusted advisor. Last Seen: Exiled to the bottom of the Character Guide.

scary ghost dog
Aug 5, 2007



gay

agarjogger
May 16, 2011


snape kills mountain

TL
Jan 16, 2006

Yeah, it is. Isn't it?

Bowties are cool.

I've gone from never watching GoT to binging through it inside of a week. This'll be my first episode that I catch first airing. The wait has been unbearable.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless


In before the poll.

radlum
May 13, 2013


I laughed more than I should have at the printer line, again.

Macaluso
Sep 23, 2005

I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG, BROTHER!


God I love that poster at the beginning. Especially the "you paid for the whole seat but you only need the edge"

Hexel
Nov 18, 2011

In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another.

Notice the fine print at the top of that imgur

StainlessBanner
Dec 23, 2006

Maybe you shouldn't kiss and tell

That poster is great! All the elements in the info lines are terrific.

Omnomnomnivore
Nov 14, 2010

Don't let his title fool 'ya, I'm the smart one.

Ballz posted:


Lysa Arryn (Kate Dickie)
Catelyn's baby sister, Lady Regent of the Vale and nuttier than a fruitcake. Last Words: "You were supposed to say 'Only Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat..."

EccoRaven
Aug 15, 2004

there is only one hell:
the one we live in now


I'm really really really worried for Oberyn.

I have been totally unspoiled about the outcome of the fight but I just know he's going to die because I like him a lot and that's pretty much a death sentence in this world.


also he and lena heady are totally adorable and I would hate "character dying" to break them up.

Yureina
Apr 28, 2013


TL posted:

I've gone from never watching GoT to binging through it inside of a week. This'll be my first episode that I catch first airing. The wait has been unbearable.

Waiting years for one of your favorite scenes (The Mountain vs The Red Viper) in the books to appear on-screen sucks too. But it's almost here!

TunaSled
Jun 4, 2003



Hello new thread. Great OP again (in before countless trashing)

CuddleChunks
Sep 18, 2004



Woo, nearly there to a new episode! Meanwhile, in other weird news...

Stonefish
Nov 1, 2004

Chillin' like a villain

http://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/imgur.com
Someone go feed the hamster

Brick Card
Oct 12, 2008

Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.


What kind of commission would sanction a fight between Clegane and Martell? The Mountain is a big Super Heavyweight and the Viper is a welterweight at best.

Trash Trick
Apr 17, 2014



Sick OP dude, I forgot that a lot of that stuff happened,

Kasonic
Mar 6, 2007

Tenth Street Reds, representing


Brick Card posted:

What kind of commission would sanction a fight between Clegane and Martell? The Mountain is a big Super Heavyweight and the Viper is a welterweight at best.

King's Landing is strictly PRIDE rules.

LEGO Genetics
Oct 8, 2013

She growls as she storms the stadium
A villain mean and rough
And the cops all shake and quiver and quake
as she stabs them with her cuffs

Brick Card posted:

What kind of commission would sanction a fight between Clegane and Martell? The Mountain is a big Super Heavyweight and the Viper is a welterweight at best.

World Video Boxing Association, World Circuit.

Martell is Little Mac and Clegane is Mike Tyson.

DISCO KING
Oct 30, 2012

STILL
TRYING
TOO
HARD


TL posted:

I've gone from never watching GoT to binging through it inside of a week. This'll be my first episode that I catch first airing. The wait has been unbearable.

I picked up a smack habit to keep me distracted. I suggest everyone do the same.

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus

CuddleChunks posted:

Woo, nearly there to a new episode! Meanwhile, in other weird news...



Holy lemon cakes batman!

counterfeitsaint
Feb 26, 2010

I'm a girl, and you're
gnomes, and it's like
what? Yikes.

CuddleChunks posted:

Woo, nearly there to a new episode! Meanwhile, in other weird news...



I don't get it. Does she have a new role?

Trash Trick
Apr 17, 2014



CuddleChunks posted:

Woo, nearly there to a new episode! Meanwhile, in other weird news...



What is that.

Stonefish
Nov 1, 2004

Chillin' like a villain

Boy George literally looks more like Sansa than Sansa does in that pic.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.


In order to stay hidden while the king's forces are hunting her, Sansa is masquerading as a bard named Boy Jory.

Yureina
Apr 28, 2013


CuddleChunks posted:

Woo, nearly there to a new episode! Meanwhile, in other weird news...



My mom made this comparison when watching the very first episode. It is still funny after all this time.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

The right reading for this is the one I'm giving.

Hi.

We don't need a two-post, 5,000-word essay for every weekly thread that mentions every character that was on screen for thirty seconds and hasn't appeared for two-and-a-half seasons, while managing to say nothing informative about anything at all.

Post a wiki link. The end. Full episode guides. Full articles on everything, and that aren't a one-sentence joke that no one will get/care about/read. Slightly creepy wallpaper. All spoiler-free.

http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki...of_Thrones_Wiki

Stonefish
Nov 1, 2004

Chillin' like a villain

We don't need a 5000 word essay every thread, but we do need an essay, as has been proven by people who keep on Not Getting It. 2000 words, maybe?

Svanja
Sep 19, 2009


Nice OPs, Ballz! Thanks for taking the time to keep it going.

wisdomHNOX
Mar 16, 2012


Svanja posted:

Nice OPs, Ballz! Thanks for taking the time to keep it going.

Echo-ing this sentiment. I'd rather have one (two) mildly obtrusive, but good, posts than fifty "Oh man who is this Locke fellow getting all buddy buddy with Jon Snow. I'm not so sure his intentions are good but who knows?" posts.

bUm
Jan 11, 2011


Yureina posted:

Waiting years for one of your favorite scenes (The Mountain vs The Red Viper) in the books to appear on-screen sucks too. But it's almost here!
Also the scene I've been most looking forward to of the season (granted I didn't realize Lysa falling and unable to get up was going to be in it till midway into the season).

Hope they do it justice; some drat good competition for best scene of the season already out there.

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

Furgiven, but not furgotten


OneThousandMonkeys posted:

Hi.

We don't need a two-post, 5,000-word essay for every weekly thread that mentions every character that was on screen for thirty seconds and hasn't appeared for two-and-a-half seasons, while managing to say nothing informative about anything at all.

Post a wiki link. The end. Full episode guides. Full articles on everything, and that aren't a one-sentence joke that no one will get/care about/read. Slightly creepy wallpaper. All spoiler-free.

http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki...of_Thrones_Wiki

"Who's the Spanish guy, and why is he fighting this tall strong man? I don't understand what's going on, where are the Starks and Tyrone Lannister "

Fozzy The Bear
Sep 27, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


EccoRaven posted:

I'm really really really worried for Oberyn.

I have been totally unspoiled about the outcome of the fight but I just know he's going to die because I like him a lot and that's pretty much a death sentence in this world.

Spoiler alert:
Valar Morghulis

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.


As soon as the thread clicks over to page 2, which happens very quickly, you'll never see the OP again for rest of the week. It doesn't seem to be something worth debating again every week.

DISCO KING
Oct 30, 2012

STILL
TRYING
TOO
HARD


Hedrigall posted:

"Who's the Spanish guy, and why is he fighting this tall strong man? I don't understand what's going on, where are the Starks and Tyrone Lannister "

Are you implying this hasn't happened?

agarjogger
May 16, 2011


Here's some GOT content for anyone running out of GOT chatter to shove down your greedy gullets.
If Game of Thrones Characters Were on The Wire, Who Would They Be?
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat...w_to_their.html

quote:

The Hound is Omar Little. Their facial scars and their devotion to solitude set them apart from polite society—and their skill with deadly weapons means they don’t need any company. These gruff men put on a cold-hearted front, but in private they are sweet to people they love. And really, their kinship became obvious the moment that the Hound declared, “A man’s got to have a code.” Omar agrees.

quote:

Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish is Tommy Carcetti. It’s obvious why we’re pairing these two: They’re both smooth talkers and behind-the-scenes operators who rise swiftly—Carcetti to Mayor and Governor, Littlefinger to Lord of the Vale (so far). Both cannily manipulate a system that appears, on the surface, to be stacked against them due to an accident of birth: For Baelish, it’s being common-born in lord-filled King’s Landing; for Carcetti, it’s being white in majority-black Baltimore. Plus, they look kind of alike.

marktheando
Nov 4, 2006



agarjogger posted:

Here's some GOT content for anyone running out of GOT chatter to shove down your greedy gullets.
If Game of Thrones Characters Were on The Wire, Who Would They Be?
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat...w_to_their.html

That article is really bad and stupid, and I feel bad and stupid for clicking on it.

DISCO KING
Oct 30, 2012

STILL
TRYING
TOO
HARD


Lycus posted:

As soon as the thread clicks over to page 2, which happens very quickly, you'll never see the OP again for rest of the week. It doesn't seem to be something worth debating again every week.

Don't worry. By page 4 we'll be back to rapes again.

Like clockwork.

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Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

The right reading for this is the one I'm giving.

Hedrigall posted:

"Who's the Spanish guy, and why is he fighting this tall strong man? I don't understand what's going on, where are the Starks and Tyrone Lannister "

These people are for laughing at, since they don't know how to use a wiki in 2014/can't figure out a callback to a plot point that happened ten minutes/one episode ago. Also, the OP doesn't actually help with these questions. Otherwise you probably wouldn't get them.

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