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Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

"I saw Dallas Keuchel....THERE'S A BEARD!!!!!"


Broken Cake

quote:

Preview tonight's can't-miss episode of IMPACT WRESTLING on SpikeTV at 9/8c as the road to the June "Slammiversary" epic event continues! If you can't watch it on Thursday, make sure to set your DVR!

- Samoa Joe's shocking return this past week evened the odds - but will the Samoan Submission Machine suffer a backlash for going to war with the Director of Wrestling Operations, MVP? Samoa Joe will be on tonight's broadcast and will speak out for the first time since his comeback!

- Bully Ray is on the warpath, and is hellbent on revenge: Six Tables for Six Victims! This past week, Spud was the first to go through a table! Who will be Bully Ray's second victim this Thursday night - MVP, Bobby Lashley, Kenny King, EC3 or…DIXIE? Tune in and find out!

- This past week, Magnus challenged Bram to step up against one of TNA's elite and face Willow! Bram has agreed - and the match is now official for Thursday's huge IMPACT broadcast! Can the newcomer back up his intense attitude against Jeff Hardy's alter-ego and prove himself to Magnus? Don't miss Willow vs. Bram on Thursday!

- Also on Thursday, the Knockouts Championship will be at stake as Madison Rayne is using her rematch clause for a shot at the gold against Angelina Love! Will Madison beat her rival and take the gold away from The Beautiful People?

All this and much more on Thursday's broadcast, including appearances by "Cowboy" James Storm, Mr. Anderson, The Menagerie and many more!

Impact Wrestling first came on the air June 4, 2004. Jeff Jarrett was NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Kid Kash and Dallas lost the NWA World Tag Team Championships to America's Most Wanted, and Kazarian was TNA X-Division Champion. Also on the card was Team Canada vs. the Amazing Red, Sonjay Dutt, and Hector Garza, Abyss vs. Shark Boy, and Chris Sabin vs. Michael Shane vs. Elix Skipper vs. AJ Styles.

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oatgan
Jan 15, 2009



spoilers we haven't gotten there in tuesday nitro yet!!!!!

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


do I want more Menagerie?

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"




I forgot they put all the black people together

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

I kind of missed the last two Impacts. Samoa Joe is back? I thought he was doing Let's Plays now?

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


If anyone's considering turning to NXT right now, I'll have you know that that Mojo Rawley guy is jumping around like an idiot. This means you have approximately 90 seconds before anything interesting happens there (not that anything interesting will happen here).

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009



Rhonne posted:

I kind of missed the last two Impacts. Samoa Joe is back? I thought he was doing Let's Plays now?

i only realized samoa joe was gone when he returned

Ninja PD
Jul 21, 2006


Why a tiny prybar?

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

It's always Heath's fault.

Plaster Town Cop

Rhonne posted:

I kind of missed the last two Impacts. Samoa Joe is back? I thought he was doing Let's Plays now?

That's his gimmick on Impact too.

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Grimey Drawer

Ninja PD posted:

Why a tiny prybar?

everything in TNA is a cheaper and more ridiculous knockoff of something in WWE

Pariah Rex
May 31, 2011

If I help you now it sets a bad example to my fans.

The wolves are so dull on the mic that they make me wish for the fiery promo passion of Lance Storm.

Pariah Rex
May 31, 2011

If I help you now it sets a bad example to my fans.

Ninja PD posted:

Why a tiny prybar?

Welcome to TNA were people have been knocked out cold by towels and given the stretcher job because they got hit with foam padding.

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


so the roster's gotten so thin that we have to watch this already?

EDIT: Since one of them is injured, why doesn't one just lay down for the pin for the other? Is there something else at stake? (I had the volume turned down)

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011

Me uni a la Revolucion #RXT


el sabe ...


What the hell Mr. Anderson.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009



hey i've seen this match a handful of times and it's usually pretty great but I bet it's not tonight

Great White Hope posted:

What the hell Mr. Anderson.

i hate him

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


oh okay. belts go back unless they fight fight fight

this is real dumb

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


what were they chanting?

what was that crap?

why is kenny king still talking?

Ninja PD
Jul 21, 2006


There be some tag team wrestling statute equivalent akin to not having to testify in court against your spouse.

Pariah Rex
May 31, 2011

If I help you now it sets a bad example to my fans.

They only have like 9 wrestlers on the roster so of course the best story to run is one with lots of loser goes home matches.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011

Me uni a la Revolucion #RXT


el sabe ...


So wait, they were told to fight each other or else they'd lose the belts. I understand that, MVP is a jerk.

And after spending a while beating each other up, they stopped fighting to beat up Kenny King.

Why?

jscolon2.0
Jul 9, 2001

With great payroll, comes great disappointment.


So, which of these guys did TNA not re-sign?

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003



They're doing the Mickey James stalker angle with Brittany and Madison?

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

I just looked at the TNA roster page to see just how small it is now and they have Jeff Hardy and Willow as two different people on the roster.

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"




A stable that has Jessie Godderz is too good for a company that has national television

Pariah Rex
May 31, 2011

If I help you now it sets a bad example to my fans.

I love that he's only afraid of clowns because they aren't DJs.

jscolon2.0
Jul 9, 2001

With great payroll, comes great disappointment.


Wouldn't a Dusty finish let you fire both of them?

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


The Bro Mans are still great. That's nice.

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Grimey Drawer

I am loving Robbie E nervously scratching himself while talking about clowns.

Pariah Rex
May 31, 2011

If I help you now it sets a bad example to my fans.

Please don't let this be twelve minutes of that song again.

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

Is that Paul Heyman introducing them?

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009



the only thing worse than The Menagerie is Taz's commentary during Menagerie matches

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


oh, they're supposed to be faces?

really?

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009



more dancehall airhorn all the time please

GrimGypsy
Mar 27, 2007



The Bromans and Menagerie having a horn battle is better than anything from the last two weeks of RAW.

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


FWEAAAK

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003



TNA would be a lot better if it was just 2 hours of the Bromans.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009



everybody in tna has a beard and a baseball hat

jscolon2.0
Jul 9, 2001

With great payroll, comes great disappointment.


Not even the main. Remember when either of these guys mattered?

SylvainMustach
Dec 12, 2007

Superior Trash Talk!


Codependent Poster posted:

TNA would be a lot better if it was just 2 hours of the Bromans.

i agree

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Pariah Rex
May 31, 2011

If I help you now it sets a bad example to my fans.

Knux has had a weird career track. First he was a heel for wanting Kelly Kelly not to be a stripper, Then he was a bear. He's been an evil biker and now he is the leader of a circus troupe stable that teeters on the edge of being the worst thing ever in wrestling.

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