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This happened a few minutes ago so I need to do something ASAP. I live in a new construction neighborhood, and we currently have 1 family living next door. We are neighbors and I borrow tools from the father and our daughters play together so I would like to handle this politely as possible. They have the wife's adult sister living with them right now. When they first moved in, the father implied it was temporary, but it's been a year now and she's still there. She doesn't appear to have a job. Today, my wife and I were in our bedroom getting ready to go out and we heard a knocking. There is construction happening in the neighborhood so there are a lot of noises, but we went and looked out the upstairs window at the porch and saw noone. Then we heard another knock and a woman's voice inside the house saying "Hello?". poo poo. I run to the bedroom and throw clothes on and run downstairs and the adult sister is standing in our living room(which requires going through several rooms in our house) with an armful of papers. She asks if our fax machine has a copy function. I tell her that we dont have a fax machine or a copier and she kind of stands there looking at me. Then she says she's been all around the neighborhood looking for a copier and I suggested kinko's in the town nearby or the library. She accepted this answer and left. We locked the door behind her. Now that we think about it, this may not have been the first time she has let herself in and possibly used our copier(which we do have) or other appliances. We want to address it, but dont know how to do it politely without getting feelings hurt. Should I text the father(who I talk to regularly) and say something or let it slide or what?
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Jun 7, 2014 18:47
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"The girl let herself into our house without our consent. Please make sure this never happens again."
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Jun 7, 2014 19:09
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kmcormick9 posted:Should I text the father(who I talk to regularly) and say something or let it slide or what? Just mention it to him next time you see him. It will be a bit awkward, because of the situation, but that's OK. Don't text - given that you've acknowledge this is a tricky situation, trying to do it over text will make it more likely to go wrong.
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Jun 7, 2014 19:19
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Kazvall posted:"The girl let herself into our house without our consent. Please make sure this never happens again." This. You're not being rude or impolite. It will become a bigger issue eventually if you do keep letting it slide though. Everyone has boundaries and you're perfectly within reason to enforce yours.
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Jun 7, 2014 19:23
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I'd also recommend actually telling the person to leave and not enter your house illegally rather than pretending everything's ok while they're currently lurking in your house, especially if you suspected she'd been in there before. I know you were probably taken off guard but you need to express this to the woman herself, not just the people she lives with. Unless she has some sort of learning disability or whatever she's a grown woman and you need to deal with her directly and follow up with your neighbours, not go to them first like they're her parents.
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Jun 7, 2014 21:25
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Haha, what would make you think that she gets into your house all the time? Don't you lock your doors when you're gone? If you think it's happening while you're there, then why didn't she just come in and use the copier this time, why would she knock and call out? I think you might be a paranoid weirdo.
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Jun 7, 2014 22:18
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beejay posted:Haha, what would make you think that she gets into your house all the time? Don't you lock your doors when you're gone? If you think it's happening while you're there, then why didn't she just come in and use the copier this time, why would she knock and call out? I think you might be a paranoid weirdo. I have no idea where kmcormick9 lives, but I know some people in really small towns that don't lock their houses during the day, or their cars at all.
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Jun 7, 2014 22:28
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How about when talking to the guy say: "Hey I had something really weird happen today, Sister let herself into my house and was wandering around while I was getting dressed. Is she...*all there?*" Wait for reply and listen with concern "I was really uncomfortable with it, could you talk to her and ask her not to do that?"
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Jun 7, 2014 22:30
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Super Dude posted:I have no idea where kmcormick9 lives, but I know some people in really small towns that don't lock their houses during the day, or their cars at all. Yes I am aware of that, but I'm just wondering where his theory of this girl coming in and using their appliances all the time comes from. Like I said, if they don't lock their door when they are there, and she is always letting herself in, then why would she knock and call out this time? If they don't lock their door when they are gone, then tough luck when someone goes in your house pretty much. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:How about when talking to the guy say: "Hey I had something really weird happen today, Sister let herself into my house and was wandering around while I was getting dressed. Is she...*all there?*" Wait for reply and listen with concern "I was really uncomfortable with it, could you talk to her and ask her not to do that?" haha, what the hell? These are worse answers than E/N would give. Either you say something when she is actually in the house, or you start locking your doors, or you say something to her next time she is in your house. You don't mumble awkwardly about kinko's and then imply to her family that she is mental later. beejay fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Jun 7, 2014 |
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Jun 7, 2014 22:39
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beejay posted:haha, what the hell? These are worse answers than E/N would give. Either you say something when she is actually in the house, or you start locking your doors, or you say something to her next time she is in your house. You don't mumble awkwardly about kinko's and then imply to her family that she is mental later. Why not? He wanted a pussy way out and I deliver, with bonus passive aggressive implications the sister is a retard.
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Jun 7, 2014 22:50
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Haha, dammit. I totally misunderstood you and ruined the joke. Sorry.
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Jun 7, 2014 22:58
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kmcormick9 posted:We locked the door behind her. Just lock the door before random people start coming into your house??? 
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Jun 7, 2014 23:51
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Please confirm the sister has downs or something because this isn't adding up. Also, a fax machine?
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Jun 8, 2014 00:42
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Try using the English language towards the person committing the infraction.
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Jun 8, 2014 00:58
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Nechronic posted:Just lock the door before random people start coming into your house??? If the doors aren't already locked then obviously this will help deter any people already wandering in, but this is kind of missing the point. People shouldn't really feel like they can just do that in the first place.
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Jun 8, 2014 00:59
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Next time this happens, shoot her and hang in front of the house to send a message to other pinko faxmongers in neighborhood.
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Jun 8, 2014 01:10
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Carry your fax to her house
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Jun 8, 2014 01:35
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kmcormick9 posted:We are neighbors and I borrow tools from the father and our daughters play together so you can go into their house but they can't?
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Jun 8, 2014 02:57
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Politely handling a trespassing neighbor is when kids are playing ball and their outfield encroaches on your petunias. A stranger in your livingroom is potentially burglary, and I would be direct when approaching the neighbors. For what it's worth, I'd start the story with "so I was in my bedroom in my underwear yesterday, and when I came downstairs your sister was standing in my livingroom". I would expect that opening line would bring about a gasp and immediate apologies. Whether it does or not, at least you know where you stand.
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Jun 8, 2014 04:19
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photomikey posted:Politely handling a trespassing neighbor is when kids are playing ball and their outfield encroaches on your petunias. This needs reinforcing. Polite is when a neighbors <10 year old kid and friends use your yard as a soccer field a few times and you need to bring it up with their parents. Adults randomly entering another occupied household without any sort of permission, borders on criminal activity and should result in letting your neighbor know you had to call the cops today because the sister in law wandered into your house. People get shot and killed for less, its really not something you want to mess around with. What if she is doing the same in other neighbors houses? What if she harms children in another household? Call the cops, report the activity, let them take it from there. You don't want to be the guy wondering if you should have reported something earlier when it turns out that random sister killed someone because they are nuts.
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Jun 8, 2014 05:01
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Oh I just noticed the OP said she was unemployed. Yeah she probably already diddled some kids and murder is next. Call 911.
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Jun 8, 2014 05:25
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dietcokefiend posted:Call the cops, report the activity, let them take it from there. You don't want to be the guy wondering if you should have reported something earlier when it turns out that random sister killed someone because they are nuts. lol. The cops will barely lift a finger if you're actually burglarized. What the hell are they gonna say if you tell them your friend's sister-in-law let herself into the house and went away when you suggested she try Kinko's? And even if they were to bother, I don't see how trying to pursue criminal charges against her is handling the situation "politely and without getting feelings hurt."
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Jun 8, 2014 05:50
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Do you frequently allow/accept strangers into your home?
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Jun 8, 2014 06:11
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OP doesn't have his fax straight, none of this adds up.
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Jun 8, 2014 06:29
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Brannock posted:Do you frequently allow/accept strangers into your home? Not sure what that has to do with anything, but personally if I found a neighbor had let themselves into my house and I didn't want them to continue doing so, I would have a talk with them then and there to explain that if no one answers when they knock, it is not ok to come into the house, and then I would probably remember to lock the door next time. I would not be autistic and go ask the internet what to do, while formulating a weird theory that my appliances were being used by said neighbor all the time, nor would I assume that said neighbor is molesting children and on the path to murder. beejay fucked around with this message at 07:01 on Jun 8, 2014 |
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Jun 8, 2014 06:52
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Mark your territory by coating the front door in urine. That should keep her out.
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Jun 8, 2014 07:06
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Pretend you're in Pakistan or some other -istan. An unmarried woman was in your home without a male family escort. She should be lit on fire or have acid poured on her. To compensate her family give the brother three goats, ten chickens, and two sacks of rice. Really though, I find someone in my house who isn't senile and elderly, or mentally retarded, or a young child, I will lay a beat down on them. Then it's to the dog cage in my SEX DUNGEON. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 8, 2014 08:10
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Bitter Mushroom posted:Ignore everybody else, shoot to kill. "Stand your ground"
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Jun 8, 2014 09:08
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I don't see the problem.
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Jun 8, 2014 09:52
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First she isn't a stranger, the families know each other. Second, her employment status is irrelevant and so is whether or not her stay is temporary because it's not your family. Third, do you have any actual reason to believe she has done this before? Believe it or not, some people are raised with different boundaries. Some people believe it is ok to open an unlocked door and shout for someone if they want to borrow something. I've dealt with this myself. Don't be a passive aggressive douche. Go over there and tell the sister directly that you are not ok with her walking right in, and if you don't answer it's because you are not home/otherwise unavailable. Way to be selfish by the way, you borrow their tools but won't let her use your copier? You sound weird and paranoid.
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Jun 8, 2014 10:10
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Decorate your house in a way which is uninviting so that the neighbor doesn't want to walk in anymore
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Jun 8, 2014 14:55
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"I know our families are pretty good friends, but I'm a little particular about my privacy. Please call before coming over. Thanks"
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Jun 8, 2014 14:58
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HungryGhost posted:so you can go into their house but they can't? You are a moron. Scenty posted:Way to be selfish by the way, you borrow their tools but won't let her use your copier? You sound weird and paranoid. Had she rang the doorbell or JUST cracked the door and called out, I would have allowed her to use it. Instead she came in and made herself at home and I wanted her out immediately. Also, SHE is a stranger. I have never met her and she actually introduced herself to me standing in my living room. beejay posted:Haha, what would make you think that she gets into your house all the time? Don't you lock your doors when you're gone? If you think it's happening while you're there, then why didn't she just come in and use the copier this time, why would she knock and call out? I think you might be a paranoid weirdo. New ink cartridge went to empty in about a month, and my wife and I rarely print things, she was standing in my living room looking at the spot where the copier USED to be while asking about the copier. Plus she was STANDING IN MY LIVING ROOM UNINVITED. Generally people dont go all in on their first infraction. This is a relationship that I am trying to preserve with my NEIGHBOR, who I have to live next to indefinitely. Calling the cops and being dick are not ways to maintain relationships. The doors will now be locked anytime we are home or away, and if it happens again, I am going to tell her to get the gently caress out. For now, I am still debating whether or not to address it with the neighbor.
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Jun 8, 2014 16:26
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Definitely address it with the neighbor. "Hey, "name" invited herself into my house to use my copier this morning. She seemed thrown off that we moved the copier so I don't think this is the first time it's happened, please make sure it's the last. I'm glad this doesn't have to be a big deal, thanks for taking care of it. *smile*"
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Jun 8, 2014 17:50
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what hb rating are we talking here?
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Jun 8, 2014 18:37
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No, you don't bring it up with the goddam neighbor. You bring it up with the sister herself. They aren't her loving guardians, unless she is disabled, in which case you shouldn't be pissed anyway. If you go to the neighbor and not the sister herself all you do is stir up poo poo between them and look passive aggressive. And for fucks sake I can't believe that in 2014 people still leave their doors unlocked when they aren't home.
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Jun 8, 2014 18:56
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Not everyone lives in a crime infested neighborhood.
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Jun 8, 2014 19:42
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Yes, and living in a neighborhood that isn't "crime infested" ensures you'll never ever ever be burgled, and so it's totally not worth taking the extra two seconds of time required to lock your door! Also, there's absolutely nothing dangerous in your house, and a small child in your idyllic suburban paradise could never wander curiously into your unlocked house and come to harm that you could have prevented by locking your door. Never ever.
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Jun 8, 2014 20:03
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SHISHKABOB posted:Not everyone lives in a crime infested neighborhood. So loving what? What possible reason do you have for not locking your doors?
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Jun 8, 2014 20:09
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