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CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16







https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDCY9vg6HBI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6LoJ9oS2Gc

Goooooooood evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Whose NASCAR Is It Anyway?

On tonight's show, bearded and beautiful, Danica Patrick Dale Earnhardt, Jr.! Smoky and Silky, Tony Stewart! Should have won more championships than he has but got dicked by championship formats, Jeff Gordon! And racing's greatest bridesmaid, Greg Biffle! I'm your host, Not Kidcoelacanth, come on down, let's have some fun!

Welcome to the Race to the Chase, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like Danica Patrick's talent. This is SASCAR, the internet's greatest collection of NASCAR fans who hate the crap out of this sport, even though deep down we really do love it because we feel like it's ours, we're whipped, and we all have some emotional attachment to one or more drivers. This is the place to come ask all kinds of questions about this sport and get answers, as WaltzingAlong has been finding out recently.

SASCAR community leader Kidcoelacanth is having technical difficulties, so I'll pinch hit for this segment's thread by copy/pasting Kidc's good stuff and adding my own notes.



NASCAR Sprint Cup Series (Schedule)

NASCAR's premier series is the Sprint Cup. This is the big leagues. Sprint Cup is host to 36 races and the biggest events on the schedule, such as the Daytona 500. Sprint Cup is also the land of the Chase for the Cup, a total crap idea of a championship system that doesn't have any place in auto racing ever god drat it NASCAR. And this year, it gets even worse! The Top 10 drivers in points after 26 races earn a Chase spot, and the drivers with the most wins outside the top 10 (but within the top 20) will get the last 2 berths. The points are then reset by most wins, and the top 12 have at it until the season ends. A New Championship Format!!!



Hot drat, that format just brings this theme music to your ears, doesn't it?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXDNlI7yreo

This old guy with back problems, The Best Driver, is currently the points leader, and is on a torrid 2007-like pace with only 1 finish outside the top 15:


...but it doesn't matter, because here are the current, dumbassed Chase seeds (as of Pocono):


Notable drivers who have not won yet this season:
-Kasey Kahne
-Tony Stewart
-Boring Driver Greg Biffle
-Boring Driver Matt Kenseth
-Ryan Newman

Drivers:









Other drivers:
-12- Ryan Blaney/Juan Pablo Montoya (Penske Racing, select races)
-21- Trevor Bayne (Wood Brothers, part-time to Roush in 2015)
-32- Multiple drivers (FAS Lane Racing)
-33- Multiple drivers (Joe Falk), Brian Scott (RCR, part-time)
-40- Landon Cassill (Hillman)
-44- JJ Yeley (XXXtreme Motorsports)
-66- Joe Nemechek/Brett Moffitt/TIMMY! Hill (NEMCO), Michael Waltrip/Jeff Burton (MWR, part-time)
-95- Michael McDowell (Leavine Family Racing)
-98- Josh Wise (Reddit Racing presented by Phil Parsons)

NASCAR Nationwide Series- Now in 3D! (Schedule)

The Nationwide Series (formerly the Busch Series) is NASCAR's secondary series, where most Cup drivers pass through before they make full-time rounds in the big show. Nationwide is home to upcoming rookies, washed-up old-timers, and Cup drivers with nothing better to do on Saturday (who will invariably win most of the races). NASCAR claims they're going to do something about this, but .

Here's the cliff notes version of every Nationwide race: Kyle Busch wins. You're welcome.

Top 10 in points: Smith, Sadler, Elliott, Bayne, Dillon, Scott, Gaughan, J. Buescher, C. Buescher, Kwasniewski
Winners: Kyle Busch (3), Elliott/Larson (2), Smith/Sadler/Hornish/Harvick/Keselowski (1)

NASCAR Camping World Truck Series (Schedule)

The Truck Series is essentially a step down from Nationwide. They race trucks! It's pretty swell. The racing also tends to be better than the Cup races on any given week. Much like Nationwide, there will be plenty of Cup drivers bullying their way in to pick up wins, but less so here, but there will also be plenty of young drivers here too looking for a championship to kickstart their career.

Here's the cliff notes version of every Truck race: Kyle Busch wins. You're welcome. Except this time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggJZMS30ob0

Top 10 in points: Crafton, Sauter, Hornaday, Blaney, Peters, Quiroga, Kennedy, JWT (), John Edward Burton Burton, Coulter
Winners: Kyle Busch (4), Crafton (2)

Minor NASCAR Series (K&N Pro, Whelen Modifieds, NASCAR Canada/Mexico/Europe (yes, that is a real thing)) http://hometracks.nascar.com/

We don't talk about these series very often, but they can be cool and occasionally show up on TV, especially K&N and Mods. The Whelen Modifieds are running New Hampshire (twice) later this summer, which will rule and probably be aired live on the TV box! Also, they're running Bristol, which will be sweet if they don't all crash again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph0YkUJxDGEE

LOL ARCA Racing Series (Schedule)

LOL ARCA is not a NASCAR series, but many drivers will pass through on their path of progression. However, given ARCA's minor-minor-minor league status, the drivers tend to be... not as talented. This is especially evident at big tracks like Daytona (link wrecks). We'll tune in here every now and then.

Here's the talent you wanted to link Kidc:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qY5FrIzqzd0

Stuff:
Chat Cup/NNS/CWTS/ARCA/IMSA here. Come for good times on race days. Click here for IRC

SASCAR Synchtube thread. Post an idea for something to watch if you're bored during the week. It's a goony (legitimately) good time!
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3585016

NASCAR.com. Don't go here.
http://www.nascar.com

Jayski. Do go here. an
http://www.jayski.com

Our man LASTCAR has a blog with lots of fancy stats:
http://brockbeard.blogspot.com/

We have a podcast, Rolling Start, sometimes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9U07mZpOME
http://tindeck.com/users/kidcoelacanth

And now, a message from Kidc:
This is not the Indycar thread go to the Indycar thread if you have poo poo to say about Indycar!!!

e- Since it seems like it's homeless on these boards, let's adopt and talk WoO and dirt track racin' here. VikingSkull or Outlaw Mailman are your guys if you're interested.

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at Aug 12, 2014 around 17:37

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DEEP STATE PLOT
Aug 13, 2008

Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!



what the gently caress do you think you are doing, you aren't kidc

BMB5150
Oct 24, 2010

2018 Indianapolis 500 Winner



For shame not having a photoshopped Drew Carey with NASCAR stickers posted all over him to top that effort post.

DEEP STATE PLOT
Aug 13, 2008

Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!



CBJSprague24 posted:

This is not the Indycar thread go to the Indycar thread if you have poo poo to say about Indycar!!!

you didn't include a disclosure about f1 chat

let's talk about how today's f1 race was better than any nascar event in the last 5 years

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



Cannot Find Server posted:

what the gently caress do you think you are doing, you aren't kidc

I have it RIGHT HERE (thumps on paper) on good authority that this posting coup d'etat is legal.:

kidcoelacanth posted:

Yeah go for it, effortposting ain't in my wheelhouse right now.

Cannot Find Server posted:

you didn't include a disclosure about f1 chat

let's talk about how today's f1 race was better than any nascar event in the last 5 years

I will blow this poo poo up and start over so hard it will make Brian France hire me to find ways to do the same thing with NASCAR.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe


I haven't done this in a few threads, but it's making its first page return....

NASCAR blowovers!

We have some new fans that might not have seen that compilation, basically all the wrecks you see during the first song are the reason restrictor plates and roof flaps exist.

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009



drat that Chase Grid graphic is the tits, where'd you pull it from?

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



kidcoelacanth posted:

drat that Chase Grid graphic is the tits, where'd you pull it from?

NASCAR.com. Lucked into finding it.

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009



Also here's my tindeck account with the podcasts: http://tindeck.com/users/kidcoelacanth

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe


You guys need to do another podcast. You guys did the last one like a week before I got my Turtle Beach headset

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





hey welcome to the sascar podcast *three gunshots*

BMB5150
Oct 24, 2010

2018 Indianapolis 500 Winner



Peanut President posted:

hey welcome to the sascar podcast *three gunshots*



We've got the right advertising for us.

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009



Peanut President posted:

hey welcome to the sascar podcast *three gunshots*

Early thread title candidate for fall

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



We do post on a site whose logo is a grenade...

Did anybody see Kurt Busch 36 about doing the double today? I liked it.

Peanut President posted:

hey welcome to the sascar podcast *three gunshots*

Can we end that podcast with Unknown Hinson set to autoplay?

anotherblownsave
Feb 26, 2008

The sponsors will like you better this way, trust me.



Nice OP
My thoughts on this season so far:
-junior probably eliminated in the first chase elimination
-Kenseth still doesn't have a win, which makes me happy
-Kyle Larsowns
-the racing so far has been pretty drat decent IMO

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



Gateway returns this weekend with the Truck Series. Supposedly the ticket office is staying open late due to high demand.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe


Williams Grove owns

Seriously, if any of you can, go there.

When you see who wins, go back to the start and look where he was when the green dropped.

Outlaw Mailman
Jul 1, 2007
Two kinds of crazy

I hope to make it back to Williams Grove again someday, I was there 15 or so years ago and thought it was a crazy unique track. Don Kreitz Jr. owns, seems to win so many races by running a line nobody else is running and coming outta nowhere.

Slickdrac
Oct 5, 2007

Keeper of the Secret


anotherblownsave posted:

Nice OP
My thoughts on this season so far:
-junior probably eliminated in the first chase elimination
-Kenseth still doesn't have a win, which makes me happy
-Kyle Larsowns
-the racing so far has been pretty drat decent IMO

Agree with everything but Larson. He's got some talent, but some of his decissions and his demeanor that I saw in person make me think he's going to turn into another Kurt Busch. Maybe he was just having a bad practice, but drat he gave a nasty look over at us last month.

Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000



Toilet Rascal

I decided to subject myself to some needless suffering, so I decided to go Pocono with my cousin and his wife. It's been the first time I've been there in four years.

There's no real story to tell, as we weren't there for Saturday night shaninigans, but I did take a few pics to share here.

The infield entrance off of Andretti Road.



Our view of turn 2:



Looking toward turn 1. You can't really tell from the pic, but turn 1 is nowhere as close as it looks in this photo.



Looking towards the main grandstands.



My treats for the day.



I walked down to the emergency vehicle gate to get some cloer shots, and as luck would have it, this is the best one of the group.



The fly over at the beginning of the race went directly over our heads, but I wasn't prepared and missed a perfect shot.

It was great seeing Junior win especially since my cousin loathes him so much.

I'm thinking about going back up there in August. A buddy of mine told me that Pocono is charging $5 a carload on Saturday night to get in the infield. Can't really beat that price.

LASTCAR
Mar 25, 2010

I like the drivers
you never hear about
in the cars
you never see
who finish in the position
you never want




Cool pics, man. No matter which track you go to, NASCAR is always better live.

Outlaw Mailman
Jul 1, 2007
Two kinds of crazy

Slickdrac posted:

Agree with everything but Larson. He's got some talent, but some of his decissions and his demeanor that I saw in person make me think he's going to turn into another Kurt Busch. Maybe he was just having a bad practice, but drat he gave a nasty look over at us last month.

This surprises me, since from the sprint car side all I've heard is how level headed he is. Granted, that could be a result of hype with him being the "next big thing" but that's the first I've heard like your experience. My only interaction with him was good, but that was after a big win, so that doesn't say much.

daslog
Dec 10, 2008





I love TNT coverage. Apparently they are milking the broadcast for all it's worth.

quote:

Total minutes of complete race broadcast: 192
Minutes of race broadcast: 134
Minutes of traditional commercials (not split-screen): 58
Minutes of ‘Side-by-Side’ commercials (split-screen): 0


and Yes, you do see a commercial about every 5 minutes.

quote:

Race brdcast times: Total min: Comm. brdcast times: Total min:

1:00 PM – 1:03 PM – 3 // 1:03 PM – 1:06 PM – 3

1:06 PM – 1:10 PM – 4 // 1:10 PM – 1:13 PM – 3

1:13 PM – 1:26 PM – 13 // 1:26 PM – 1:28 PM – 2

1:28 PM – 1:35 PM – 7 // 1:35 PM – 1:38 PM – 3

1:38 PM – 1:40 PM – 2 // 1:40 PM – 1:43 PM – 3

1:43 PM – 1:50 PM – 7 // 1:50 PM – 1:52 PM – 2

1:52 PM – 2:00 PM – 8 // 2:00 PM – 2:02 PM – 2

2:02 PM – 2:08 PM – 6 // 2:08 PM – 2:11 PM – 3

2:11 PM – 2:17 PM – 6 // 2:17 PM – 2:20 PM – 3

2:20 PM – 2:21 PM – 1 // 2:21 PM – 2:23 PM – 2

2:23 PM – 2:30 PM – 7 // 2:30 PM – 2:33 PM – 3

2:33 PM – 2:36 PM – 3 // 2:36 PM – 2:39 PM – 3

2:39 PM – 2:45 PM – 6 // 2:45 PM – 2:48 PM – 3

2:48 PM – 2:54 PM – 6 // 2:54 PM – 2:57 PM – 3

2:57 PM – 3:03 PM – 6 // 3:03 PM – 3:06 PM – 3

3:06 PM – 3:11 PM – 5 // 3:11 PM – 3:13 PM – 2

3:13 PM – 3:17 PM – 4 // 3:17 PM – 3:19 PM – 2

3:19 PM – 3:23 PM – 4 // 3:23 PM – 3:26 PM – 3

3:26 PM – 3:33 PM – 7 // 3:33 PM – 3:36 PM – 3

3:36 PM – 3:41 PM – 5 // 3:41 PM – 3:44 PM – 3

3:44 PM – 3:45 PM – 1 // 3:45 PM – 3:48 PM – 3

3:48 PM – 3:57 PM – 9 // 3:57 PM – 3:58 PM – 1

3:58 PM – 4:12 PM – 14 // 4:12 PM – checkered flag flies

http://www.cawsnjaws.com/article/64...2014-pocono-400

BMB5150
Oct 24, 2010

2018 Indianapolis 500 Winner



daslog posted:

I love TNT coverage. Apparently they are milking the broadcast for all it's worth.



and Yes, you do see a commercial about every 5 minutes.


http://www.cawsnjaws.com/article/64...2014-pocono-400

I remember in 2006 NBC had a huge spike in commercials. I'm not surprised Turner is doing the same getting every last penny as they know there won't be an repercussions since they're gone next year. Like it really matters at Pocono or Michigan. We'll be pissed at Sonoma and Daytona.

ellspurs
Sep 12, 2007
Kappa :o

BMB5150 posted:

I remember in 2006 NBC had a huge spike in commercials. I'm not surprised Turner is doing the same getting every last penny as they know there won't be an repercussions since they're gone next year. Like it really matters at Pocono or Michigan. We'll be pissed at Sonoma and Daytona.

Yea, in those cases, just ensure you're watching the British/Irish stream as they don't show adverts here during the race. Just be prepared for an in-car camera of probably Jimmie Johnson for 1/3 of the race.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





BMB5150 posted:

I remember in 2006 NBC had a huge spike in commercials. I'm not surprised Turner is doing the same getting every last penny as they know there won't be an repercussions since they're gone next year. Like it really matters at Pocono or Michigan. We'll be pissed at Sonoma and Daytona.

Isn't Daytona "Commercial Free", or did they abandon that?

Muddy Burphy
Dec 4, 2010

The #RXT REVOLUTION has two words for ya..
SCOOP IT!



he knows...


Peanut President posted:

Isn't Daytona "Commercial Free", or did they abandon that?

I think they abandoned that concept a year or two ago.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



Jeff Gordon will be sponsored by Panasonic at Sonoma and/or New Hampshire. Scroll way down for the paint scheme:

http://www.jayski.com/news/schemes/...24-Team-Schemes

gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak



I'm just going to pretend it's Sato behind the wheels.

BMB5150
Oct 24, 2010

2018 Indianapolis 500 Winner



gret posted:

I'm just going to pretend it's Sato Hiro Matsushita behind the wheels.

OnlyJuanMon
Jan 25, 2010


Too tired to chase fences right now.


Just run the rainbow scheme again

Muddy Burphy
Dec 4, 2010

The #RXT REVOLUTION has two words for ya..
SCOOP IT!



he knows...


CBJSprague24 posted:

Jeff Gordon will be sponsored by Panasonic at Sonoma and/or New Hampshire. Scroll way down for the paint scheme:

http://www.jayski.com/news/schemes/...24-Team-Schemes

Mobile computers are allowed as a sponsor (computers that are compatible with AT&T and Verizon service, mind you), yet a wi-fi tablet marketed towards children isn't allowed to sponsor the 40 car. Typical NASCAR.

LASTCAR
Mar 25, 2010

I like the drivers
you never hear about
in the cars
you never see
who finish in the position
you never want




CBJSprague24 posted:

Jeff Gordon will be sponsored by Panasonic at Sonoma and/or New Hampshire. Scroll way down for the paint scheme:

http://www.jayski.com/news/schemes/...24-Team-Schemes

It stuns me that Gordon didn't have a sponsor for Sears Point until now. Never thought I'd see the day.

gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak



LASTCAR posted:

It stuns me that Gordon didn't have a sponsor for Sears Point until now. Never thought I'd see the day.

We missed our chance for Jeff to drive the Chevy.

anotherblownsave
Feb 26, 2008

The sponsors will like you better this way, trust me.



Well it arrived today

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Grimey Drawer

I got the e-mail about it the other day, mine should be here tomorrow.

LASTCAR
Mar 25, 2010

I like the drivers
you never hear about
in the cars
you never see
who finish in the position
you never want




So did mine! Now I have a rally towel for Sears Point!

Roller Coast Guard
Aug 27, 2006

With this magnificent aircraft,
and my magnificent facial hair,
the British Empire will never fall!




As someone who pays only the slightest of attention to NASCAR on a regular basis, is the schedule still jammed full of identical 1.5 mile D-shaped ovals?

For that matter, do circuits ever get added or dropped?

LASTCAR
Mar 25, 2010

I like the drivers
you never hear about
in the cars
you never see
who finish in the position
you never want




To answer both your questions, NASCAR has only added one track since 2001 - the 1.5-mile Kentucky track in 2011, which wasn't even prepared for race traffic despite intense lobbying by Bruton Smith. And the two tracks added in 2001 were also 1.5-milers.

Pocono has two races just weeks apart. Texas got a second date for no practical reason at all. And rumors still persist about taking dates away from the Martinsville short track.

Yet still we watch.

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kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009



We'll get Iowa one day

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