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C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Greetings! Welcome to the SAS Sports Media Sheep Game 2014!

This is how the game works. I will provide 20 statements or questions for you, broken up into four categories. The object of this game is to give the most common answer that you think will be given by the rest of the sheep. For each answer you give, you get a number of points equal to the number of people who also gave that answer. If you say "red" and 10 other people say red, you get 11 points. If you say "blue" and no one else said blue, you get 1 point. The person with the most points wins a forums upgrade of their choice: platinum, no ads, archives, or a title change for themselves or someone else not a goddamn thing! It is also in your best interest to not discuss the game in other SAS threads, lest you tip your hand on what your answers will be!

Submit your entries to me with your SA username and "Sheep Game Entry" as the subject and your answers as the body, to sas-media-sheep-at-gmail-.com (remove the dashes). Your answers should be given with one answer on each line, in order, and with no numbers and no questions. This is will save me like ten hours in editing time. Please do that. The deadline for entries is one week from now, 11:59 PM EST time, Sunday, June 22nd. The reveal, if all goes according to plan, will be the following Tuesday, June 24th, at 8 PM, unless it takes me longer or I decide that going to the pool is more important or whatever.

The four categories are general catchall, written word, spoken word, and :wtc: so you all can stretch your comedy muscles and see who can sprint down the Road to Hell the fastest. For written/spoken word, only judge someone on that particular category. If there's someone who's great at writing but sucks on TV, don't punish them for their lovely TV work when answering a written word category. For general catchall you can go by their entire body of work.

Points of clarification:

Reporter: Someone who gathers information and presents it to the audience. We expect them to give us facts
Commentator: Someone who tells us stupid, stupid people what to think about certain things. We expect them to give us their opinion, no matter how dumb or wrong it is.

Play-by-play: During an event, this is the person who tells us what is happening.
Color Commentary: During an event, this is the person who tells us why something is happening.
Sideline Reporter: During an event, this person will chime in with information or factoids about the event. Usually they're by the field of play, hence the title.
Talking head: During an event, someone who sits behind a desk and flaps their gums. May be in the studio or on site.


Once again:
:siren: DO NOT INCLUDE THE NUMBERS OR QUESTIONS ON YOUR ENTRY FORM! :siren:



Got it? Okay. Here are the questions:

    Catchall
  • 1. This is the greatest moment in sports broadcast history.
  • 2. When I want to find out something non-specific in sports, this is the place I check first.
  • 3. Written word and spoken word, this person does the best overall job.
  • 4. This person manages to not just be bad at their job/s, but offends me on a personal level.
  • 5. The behind the scenes people don't get enough love. This is the greatest highlight package/promotional package/commercial/etc ever produced. Links are highly encouraged.

    Written Word
  • 6. This is the greatest book about sports ever written.
  • 7. I trust this reporter moreso than anyone else.
  • 8. Most sports columns aren't worth reading, but this person manages to not offend me too badly.
  • 9. Whoever taught this moron the English language should be drug into the street and shot for crimes against humanity.
  • 10. This website's user comments are the most insightful and thought provoking a sign that not all people who watch sports are mouth-breathing morons the least-bad in a cesspool of despair and ignorance.

    Spoken Word
  • 11. This person, living or dead, is the greatest Play-by-Play announcer in the history of sport.
  • 12. This person, living or dead, might not be the greatest Play-by-Play announcer in the history of sport, but I greatly enjoy listening to them and would go out of my way to listen to them call a game.
  • 13. This former athlete has done the best job of transitioning to sports media work.
  • 14. If I ever have to listen to this moron open their mouth and speak words about sports again, it'll be too soon.
  • 15. This person doesn't get enough love for the work that they do.

    :wtc:
  • 16. For better or worse, this person/organization's Twitter is a must-see.
  • 17. What outside of the major sports leagues/events (i.e. NFL/NBA/MLB/NHL/NCAAFB/NCAAMBB/Olympics/World Cup) will I go out of my way to watch when it occurs?
  • 18. You're driving from NY to LA nonstop. Your wingman can be any sports media figure, dead or alive. Who's riding shotty?
  • 19. You're producing a sports talk show, with four open seats, and you hate your audience. Who is your third choice?
  • 20. I wish this sports media figure was my father/mother.

Once again:
:siren: DO NOT INCLUDE THE NUMBERS OR QUESTIONS ON YOUR ENTRY FORM! :siren:

Undying gratitude goes to XyloJW, who's OP for the D&D Sheep Game I've shamelessly ripped off. Side note, if anyone has the software that's can easily sort this poo poo out, send it to the above e-mail address so I don't have to fight my way through an excel sheet and it takes two weeks before the reveal.



Good luck!

C. Everett Koop fucked around with this message at 14:54 on Jun 16, 2014

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C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


This post reserved for points of clarification/names of those who've submitted answers.

Players as of 3:00 PM 6/30/14

20 players:

Alfred P. Pseudonym
ayn rand hand job
Benne
CannonFodder
ChampRamp
Christ Psuedoscientist
Cruel and Unusual
deathlove
elwoodcuse
Grittybeard
Intruder
JRizzle
Mr. Fix It
Nybble
Politicalrancor
Pops Mgee
Seiferguy
Spamtron7000
swickles
toxicsunset

C. Everett Koop fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Jun 30, 2014

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010


Maybe I'm just slow today but I don't get what you mean by non-specific in question 2?

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Grittybeard posted:

Maybe I'm just slow today but I don't get what you mean by non-specific in question 2?

When I mean specific it's along the lines of "I want to know what Strawberry hit in '88 so I'm going to baseball-reference.com." It's like word association, when I think sports I think XYZ.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION





Toilet Rascal

I have the sheep software on my computer at home. I can send it to you if you don't have it by then.

edit: sent you the link!

seiferguy fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Jun 16, 2014

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


seiferguy posted:

I have the sheep software on my computer at home. I can send it to you if you don't have it by then.

edit: sent you the link!

This here is a good man.

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001



Passion’s Wrench

Entry sent, but I'm probably gonna miss the reveal. The best part is the pictures.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION





Toilet Rascal

The hardest question I couldn't think of an answer so I just went with a joke one. Otherwise this was one of the more difficult sheeps to answer.

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious


I don't read any threads outside of the basketball ones here, but I tried my best (worst).

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know


I take it we can list a specific event at the Olympics, or did you mean to exlude all the events? I took the wording to just exclude listing the Olympics as a whole.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Hitting the Submit Post button


Sent my dumb answers that once again are half jokes half real meaning my answers will be basically white noise

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Sent in my homeriffic answers.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8



In on dis

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001



Passion’s Wrench

Intruder posted:

Sent my dumb answers that once again are half jokes half real meaning my answers will be basically white noise
I'll be right there with you in the middle v:shobon::hf::shobon:v

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


swickles posted:

I take it we can list a specific event at the Olympics, or did you mean to exlude all the events? I took the wording to just exclude listing the Olympics as a whole.

Yeah, the goal was to exclude the Olympics in general as a way of keeping the answers from being time-sensitive, since if I just excluded the big 4 the World Cup would rank heavily, and if I ran this in the winter the Olympics was rank heavily and so forth.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010


Intruder posted:

Sent my dumb answers that once again are half jokes half real meaning my answers will be basically white noise

Same. I realized doing this that even though I watch sports all the damned time I don't really...care enough to have strong feelings on a lot of these. Other than people who I hate I guess.

Mr. Fix It
Oct 26, 2000

💀ayyy💀




Submission submitted. 80% jokes, 40% serious.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Fairly obvious with the forums being in flux, but this is on hold until we know this joint will be around. Feel free to still send in answers in the meantime and hopefully this'll be finished sooner than later.

Catfish Stevens
Jul 9, 2001

WHO DAT? Who gives a damn?


C. Everett Koop posted:

Fairly obvious with the forums being in flux, but this is on hold until we know this joint will be around. Feel free to still send in answers in the meantime and hopefully this'll be finished sooner than later.

Now that the forums (seem) to be back and stable this definitely deserves a bump y'all.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Yeah the forums are stable enough. I'll give everyone another 48 hours, deadline is 11:59 PM EST this Monday, reveal this Wednesday.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Reminder, entries close at midnight tonight. Last chance to show your :siren: sports comedy genius`! :siren:

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION





Toilet Rascal

C. Everett Koop posted:

Reminder, entries close at midnight tonight. Last chance to show your :siren: sports comedy genius`! :siren:

You should solicit for more answers in N/V threads if you think your turnout is low.

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013



Looking forward to this one, can't wait! :D

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010


Not funny black sheep answers are the worst and I bet I have at least three of them from blanking on things.

HOW COULD YOU
Jun 1, 2006

The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.


As with the last nhl sheep game I am offering an avatar change or other forum thing of equal value (:10bux:) to the funniest overall (probably low scoring) sheep.

I waited till after the deadline to announce this so it won't skew the results, hope some of you guys and gals were funny without bribes.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Reveal starts in a little less than an hour, give or take. Contain your unbridled glee.

e - Showtime! Remembers, pictures may spoil the answers, hint at the answers, or have nothing to do with the answers!

Catchall

1. This is the greatest moment in sports broadcast history.


C. Everett Koop fucked around with this message at 23:59 on Jul 2, 2014

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010


Looking forward to it.

I don't know wrestling past 1992 or so enough to identify one of those pictures. Or I don't know it well enough up to then if it's before that.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION





Toilet Rascal

Winning with 20 players is gonna be tough.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Question 1: This is the greatest moment in sports broadcast history.

Al Michael’s “Do you believe in Miracles” call - 10
Seiferguy
CannonFodder
deathlove
swickles
Christ Psuedoscientist
Cruel and Unusual
toxicsunset
Grittybeard
Nybble
Pops Mgee

ACES:

Lex Luger racking Hulk Hogan on the 100th Nitro to win the belt - ChampRamp
An earthquake shutting up Tim McCarver - ayn rand hand job
Vin Scully's call of Kirk Gibson's Home Run - Politicalrancor
Artie Lange ends Joe Buck's short lived lovely talk show hosting career - Intruder
The time that dude said pollack during the NCAA tournament - JRizzle
"GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THAT KILLED HIM! AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!"--Jim Ross, WWF Hell In A Cell 1998 - Benne
Lee Corso says "gently caress it" on National TV - Alfred P. Pseudonym
Lawrence Taylor defeats Joe Theismann - Spamtron7000
bobby thomson shot heard round the world - elwoodcuse
Howard Cosell announces the death of John Lennon (drat hippy) - Mr. Fix It

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Scores after question 1:

deathlove - 10
Seiferguy - 10
CannonFodder - 10
swickles - 10
Christ Psuedoscientist - 10
Cruel and Unusual - 10
toxicsunset - 10
Grittybeard - 10
Nybble - 10
Pops Mgee - 10
ChampRamp - 1
ayn rand hand job - 1
Politicalrancor - 1
Intruder - 1
JRizzle - 1
Benne - 1
Alfred P. Pseudonym - 1
Spamtron7000 - 1
elwoodcuse - 1
Mr. Fix It - 1


• 2. When I want to find out something non-specific in sports, this is the place I check first.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION





Toilet Rascal

Haha unanimous then aces, that might be a first.

ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together

The greatest moment in sports broadcast history shouldn't include tape delay :colbert:

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010


I originally had the shot heard round the world too if that helps any.

I like the Artie Lange vote.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Question 2: When I want to find out something non-specific in sports, this is the place I check first.

ESPN - 6
ayn rand hand job
deathlove
JRizzle
Christ Psuedoscientist
Cruel and Unusual
CannonFodder

Wikipedia - 4
toxicsunset
elwoodcuse
Mr. Fix It
Pops Mgee

Twitter - 3
ChampRamp
Benne
Intruder

Google - 2
swickles
Nybble

ACES:

NBC Sports Talk - Politicalrancor
Deadspin - Seiferguy
Grantland - Alfred P. Pseudonym
Somethingawful.com - Spamtron7000
I still go to sports-reference because I am intensely boring - Grittybeard

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Scores after question 2:

deathlove - 16
CannonFodder - 16
Christ Psuedoscientist - 16
Cruel and Unusual - 16
toxicsunset - 14
Pops Mgee - 14
swickles - 12
Nybble - 12
Seiferguy - 11
Grittybeard - 11
ayn rand hand job - 7
JRizzle - 7
elwoodcuse - 5
Mr. Fix It - 5
ChampRamp - 4
Intruder - 4
Benne - 4
Politicalrancor - 2
Alfred P. Pseudonym - 2
Spamtron7000 - 2



• 3. Written word and spoken word, this person does the best overall job.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Question 3: Written word and spoken word, this person does the best overall job.

Vin Scully - 4
ayn rand hand job
Politicalrancor
Seiferguy
Mr. Fix It

Bomani Jones - 2
deathlove
swickles

Skip Bayless (professional troll) - 2
Grittybeard
Intruder

ACES:

Nick Bockwinkel - ChampRamp
Keith Olbermann - CannonFodder
Anyone who is not Rick Reilly - JRizzle
Adrian Wojnarowski - Christ Psuedoscientist
Jeremy Schapp - Benne
Charles Barkley - Alfred P. Pseudonym
Adam Schefter - Spamtron7000
Bill Simmons - Cruel and Unusual
Steve Sabol - toxicsunset
twitter - elwoodcuse
Charles Pierce - Nybble
Al Michaels - Pops Mgee

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010


My personal scorecard has Intruder winning even though I stole his joke.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Scores after question 3:

deathlove - 18
CannonFodder - 17
Christ Psuedoscientist - 17
Cruel and Unusual - 17
Seiferguy - 15
toxicsunset - 15
Pops Mgee - 15
swickles - 14
Grittybeard - 13
Nybble - 13
ayn rand hand job - 11
Mr. Fix It - 9
JRizzle - 8
Politicalrancor - 6
Intruder - 6
elwoodcuse - 6
ChampRamp - 5
Benne - 5
Alfred P. Pseudonym - 3
Spamtron7000 - 3



• 4. This person manages to not just be bad at their job/s, but offends me on a personal level.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Question 4: This person manages to not just be bad at their job/s, but offends me on a personal level.

Joe Buck - 5
ayn rand hand job
Seiferguy
Cruel and Unusual
toxicsunset
Pops Mgee

Skip Bayless - 3
Christ Psuedoscientist
Grittybeard
Nybble

Rick Reilly - 2
swickles
Benne

ACES:

Rusev - ChampRamp
Bill Plaschke - deathlove
Bill Simmons - Politicalrancor
Don Imus - CannonFodder
Who gets personally offended by sports media? Unless you're a native and it's Rick Reilly or something - Intruder
Bill Romanowski - JRizzle
Everyone on NBC's Football Night in America - Alfred P. Pseudonym
Chuck Gormley - Spamtron7000
jim nantz - elwoodcuse
Hawk Harrelson - Mr. Fix It

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HOW COULD YOU
Jun 1, 2006

The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.


C. Everett Koop posted:

Question 4: This person manages to not just be bad at their job/s, but offends me on a personal level.

Joe Buck - 5
ayn rand hand job
Seiferguy
Cruel and Unusual
toxicsunset
Pops Mgee

Skip Bayless - 3
Christ Psuedoscientist
Grittybeard
Nybble

Rick Reilly - 2
swickles
Benne

ACES:

Rusev - ChampRamp
Bill Plaschke - deathlove
Bill Simmons - Politicalrancor
Don Imus - CannonFodder
Who gets personally offended by sports media? Unless you're a native and it's Rick Reilly or something - Intruder
Bill Romanowski - JRizzle
Everyone on NBC's Football Night in America - Alfred P. Pseudonym
Chuck Gormley - Spamtron7000
jim nantz - elwoodcuse
Hawk Harrelson - Mr. Fix It

lotta bills in the blacksheep

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