Obama tried to trade a 1st Edition Charizard to Al-Qaeda

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Obama tried to trade a 1st Edition Charizard to Al-Qaeda

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my new dog: by Nyc_Tattoo

PandaCookies posted:

Obama is black.

r u saying black people cant have pimples

# ? Jun 29, 2014 17:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 16:28

PandaCookies: Delicious endangered confection!

my new dog posted:

r u saying black people cant have pimples

I'm saying it would be a blackhead.

# ? Jun 29, 2014 17:43

Mac Tonight: aw yeah tahts it man

dogcrash truther posted:

Without Congressional approval, Obama tried to trade a 1st Edition Charizard to the Al Qaeda in exchange for the release of Warren Weinstein, a world-renowned development expert who was kidnapped from his home in Lahore, Pakistan, in 2001.

hosed up if true

# ? Jun 29, 2014 18:09

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

Meanwhile at home:

Fox News reports massive computer errors keeping users from signing up in the government-run pokemon health insurance exchange. Pokeclinics reporting more trainers without insurance and Pokemarts have soaring prices on potions and status healing items.

Nurse Joy is kicked off Hannity after exclaiming, "it used to be free!"

mags fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Jun 29, 2014

# ? Jun 29, 2014 18:25

poverty goat

so pokeymans are like the taliban?

# ? Jun 29, 2014 19:03

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

voltorb @ least

# ? Jun 29, 2014 22:40

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

There are times in my life when I wish that I knew more about Pokeman. Pokemon, rather. This is one of those times.

# ? Jun 29, 2014 23:03

Ace of Baes

Russia Helping to Fund Iran's Collection of Shiny Foils?
by Matt Taibbi

# ? Jun 30, 2014 00:07

dogcrash truther

Sy Hersh blows the lid off the recent False Flag Koffing attack

# ? Jun 30, 2014 00:19

i am he

Obama sits in the war room with all of his top advisors, military and domestic. The tension in the room is palpable. Vice President Joe Biden slams his fist on the table "I'm telling you the truth!!"

Obama fires back, "Ya fuckin right, we've checked it 100 times Joe, he isn't there! At this rate we'll never catch him. And if we don't find him soon we'll fall behind Russia. The war will be all but lost if they find him first."

"I'm telling you, check behind the loving truck near the SS Anne. He's there! What other options do we have Barack? You said it yourself, mew is our only hope in this war."

Obama's face becomes pensive, he lets out a long sigh... "send the choppers, we'll check again."

# ? Jun 30, 2014 00:33

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

obama traded pokemon cards with al-qaeda because he hates pokemon and wants to destroyh pokemon

# ? Jun 30, 2014 03:42

i am he

obama's favorite pokemon is mr mime

# ? Jun 30, 2014 03:44

Diqnol

Where's the birth certificate? Oh that's right, it died with my 1998 foil Nidoking and I'm never going to see it again. This government is a sham.

# ? Jun 30, 2014 03:45

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

Top Republican alleges Obama �trampling� on authority of Congress

The chairman of the House Judiciary Committee charged Sunday that President Obama is "trampling upon" the constitutional authority granted to Congress, as he defended Speaker John Boehner's decision to file a lawsuit against the president for allegedly exceeding his authority by trading a 1st Edition Charizard to Al-Qaeda.

"This is all about the United States Constitution and the integrity of our Pokemon," Rep. Bob Goodlatte, R-Va., told "Fox News Sunday."

Goodlatte rejected Democratic criticism that the lawsuit announced by Boehner amounts to an election-year political stunt. He cited a presidential pattern of "not enforcing laws, or changing laws that have been passed, taking power from the Legislative Branch."

This, he said, runs afoul of Article 1 of the Constitution which grants legislative powers to Congress to catch 'em all.

Boehner triggered a firestorm on Capitol Hill earlier this week after announcing he planned to proceed with such a lawsuit, challenging the president's use of executive actions and unprecedented Pokemon-related procedures. Republicans complain that Obama has taken a host of questionable actions on his own, including unilaterally changing provisions of ObamaCare, hiking the minimum wage for federal contractors, and questionable usage of valuable Pokemon resources.

On "Fox News Sunday," however, House Democratic Caucus Chairman Xavier Becerra, D-Calif., staunchly defended the president and argued that he has not crossed any constitutional or legal lines.

"The president simply said I'm going to do what I can within the confines of the law to make this work," Becerra said. "Absolutely, he's evolving the law into its next greater form ... he's not rewriting it."

House Democratic Caucaus Co-Chairman Squirtle added, "Squirtle!"

Former White House counsel Kathy Ruemmler, on NBC's "Meet the Press," also claimed the suit was "just for show" and questioned whether the House would be able to show "injury" in order to even have the standing to sue.

"To say it's frivolous, I think, is an understatement," she said. "I know it's our destiny."

WetNightmare fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Jun 30, 2014

# ? Jun 30, 2014 03:53

dogcrash truther

WetNightmare posted:

"The president simply said I'm going to do what I can within the confines of the law to make this work," Becerra said. "Absolutely, he's evolving the law into its next greater form ... he's not rewriting it."

House Democratic Caucaus Co-Chairman Squirtle added, "Squirtle!"

# ? Jun 30, 2014 03:58

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

BREAKING NEWS: PRESIDENT OBAMA ADDRESSES 1ST EDITION CHARIZARD SCANDAL LIVE FEED :siren:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvH8aZ2YA1A

# ? Jun 30, 2014 04:02

i am he

obama leaning over malia's shoulder "are you winning the pokeman's? did you get the high score?"

malia: :rolleyes:

# ? Jun 30, 2014 04:06

Koishi Komeiji

WetNightmare posted:

BREAKING NEWS: PRESIDENT OBAMA ADDRESSES 1ST EDITION CHARIZARD SCANDAL LIVE FEED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvH8aZ2YA1A

A 69 year old Vietnam veteran with one of those boat hats with the acheivos sewed on the sides sheds a single tear. "This is why we fight." he thinks to himself while saluting.

# ? Jun 30, 2014 04:09

Ace of Baes

Obama Accused of Muk'ing up new Solar Beam Energy Bill by House Republicans

# ? Jun 30, 2014 04:27

Guillermus

i know nothing about pokemon, but wouldn't be a better trade to give the talibans a :psyduck:

# ? Jun 30, 2014 10:24

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

# ? Jun 30, 2014 12:32

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Brock Obama

# ? Jun 30, 2014 12:33

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Questions have arisen after Obamas inauguration speech whether or not his statement about Geodude's strength was merely an attempt to divert the nation's attention away from the recent loss of it's 1st Edition Charizard (foil, mint condition).
"If Geodude is so strong," radio personality Glenn Beck recently remarked, "how come he's only an unevolved pokemon? What about the proud Gravlers, huh? What about the mighty Golems who are the REAL backbone of this nation, Obama???"

# ? Jun 30, 2014 12:40

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Recent controversy has also arisen due to Obama's remark about the existence of Anime, mainly among evangelical circles.
"God created Adam and Eve, not Hikari and Kimiko!" Steve Steveson, local creationist spokesman told our interviewer during a rally, "This is not a political issue, it's a matter of the sanctity of our most important values."

# ? Jun 30, 2014 12:44

verily carefree

Nosfereefer posted:

god damnit that is funny

# ? Jun 30, 2014 12:57

verily carefree

president brock obama addressed the masses today, with his own "deck of cards" in hand. they are a pokemon starter kit. "we... will, uh, catch them all" he is quoted as saying.

# ? Jun 30, 2014 12:59

feld: Out of nowhere its.....

Feldman

Team Rocket is actually Al Qaeda.

Really maekes you think.

# ? Jun 30, 2014 13:45

Peanut and the Gang: by exmarx

"We've found it, Sir! We've found the legendary!"

: Then go ahead and capture it. And don't lose it this time, or it's your head!

The soldiers surround the legendary and start playing the flute. Everyone freezes in suspense.

"It has fallen asleep! It has fallen asleep!", the soldiers cheer.

But in their excitement, they accidentally awaken it, their cheering too loud.

The gentle beast uses this opportunity to flee.

Despair flows to the soldiers' faces.

: *sighs angrily* Where did it go?

"Pokedex says it's in the Ukraine now, Sir."

: You know what to do.

# ? Jun 30, 2014 16:01

beer pal

controversy in Florida today, as second-amendment activists across the state wear their Yu Gi Oh Duel Disk Card Launchers to their local Chipotle locations. When told by the manager they were getting complaints from customers, one protestor said "relax, it's not loaded", pointing to the bulging side-pocket in his cargo shorts containing his deck.

# ? Jun 30, 2014 17:58

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

lol Nosfereefer rules

# ? Jun 30, 2014 22:16

Ace of Baes

Nosfereefer posted:

# ? Jun 30, 2014 22:20

i am he

Kim Jong un is sitting playing pokemon red, original gba game obviously, when he comes upon a wild magikarp. Obama leans back in his chair around the un meeting table to catch a better glimpse, level 19 drat... all he has to do is catch it and level it up once to get a sweet gyarados..

Kim: "ugh anudder magikarp? worthress" kills it in one shot with an electric attack (eletric is super effective against water type)

Obama: *snicker, muffled laguhter, muttering* "lol fuckin noob"

# ? Jun 30, 2014 22:31