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WWE Smackdown Results: - Seth Rollins starts off the show and gets attacked by Dean Ambrose. Randy Orton makes the save for Rollins, and Roman Reigns shows up to even the odds. Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long lost his job last month, so the four men aimlessly stand in the ring wondering what to do next for almost two hours. - Big E defeated Cesaro. Cesaro has proven all year that he’s a bulletproof workhorse with instant credibility. He is now also wearing an EYEPATCH, which puts him closer to ‘Boss Of The World’ than ever before. So yeah, of course he curtain-jerks Smackdown and loses to Big E by count-out. - United States Championship Match: Sheamus defeated Alberto Del Rio. A match result you could see from space. - Remember the segment from Raw where The Miz returned, Chris Jericho returned to interrupt him and then the Wyatt Family attacked? Smackdown features that same segment but in reverse, with Jericho cutting a promo, The Miz interrupting, Miz getting beaten up and the Wyatt Family doing nothing. It’s one of those things where the guy reporting the spoilers uses the words “big pop” too many times in one paragraph. - AJ Lee defeated Eva Marie. WELCOME BACK, 2013 DIVAS DIVISION! One of these days, Eva Marie’s gonna spend her two months between matches traveling to Japan to train at a dojo and come back throwing buzzsaw kicks. It’ll be the best thing in the world. Or, you know, she’ll remain employed for four more years and never learn how to convincingly do a headlock. - Damien Sandow celebrated July 4 by dressing up as Bruce Springsteen and singing ‘Born in the USA.’ Guessing Zeb Colter told him that was a pro-USA song. He was interrupted by Lana and Rusev, who (spoiler alert) SOMEWHAT DISLIKE AMERICA. According to live reports from fans in attendance, Lana suggested that Russia was “better” than the U.S. and that a “Vladimir Putin” was worthy of praise. I can’t substantiate those reports at this time. Also because July 4, Rusev is interrupted by Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter, who are still hateful racists but at least they’re saying 50% of America sucks instead of 100. Jokes were made and chants were had. - Dean Ambrose defeated Randy Orton (by disqualification, don’t get excited). In a world where we’d HOLD ON A MINUTE and be PLAYERS this would’ve been a tag team match. As it stands, though, it’s just Ambrose vs. Orton with Seth Rollins running in to blast Ambrose with the Money in the Bank briefcase and draw a DQ. Roman Reigns once again runs down and makes the save, and once again a tag team match is not made. Are these shows supposed to generally manage themselves? And that’s our show! If you like the Assumptive WWE Smackdown Spoilers report, let us know in the comments section below. Also, be sure to speculate wildly about everything you’ve read. WWE Battleground is coming up in a few weeks, which means OF COURSE they’re doing a War Games match, right? “They’re gonna do a War Games match” is usually a good prediction. WWE Raw results: - Roman Reigns opened the show talking about the fatal fourway match at Battleground and was interrupted by Kane. Kane and Reigns fought until referees tried to pull them apart. A bunch of referees and agents (including Fit Finlay!) got beaten up. 1. The Wyatt Family defeated The Usos. This was a non-title match. Luke Harper got the pin for his team with a discus clothesline. After the match, the Usos complained about the referee mixing up which Uso was legal. 2. Alicia Fox vs. Nikki Bella was a No Contest. The stipulation was that both Divas would have one hand tied behind their back for some reason. Alicia refused to have her hand tied and beat Nikki up. She poured Red Bull on her, and … I think that was the finish. 3. Rusev defeated Rob Van Dam. Rusev won by submission with The Accolade. 4. Randy Orton defeated Dean Ambrose. Orton countered Ambrose’s rebound lariat into an RKO for the pin. 5. Alberto Del Rio defeated Dolph Ziggler. Fandango was on color commentary. Del Rio won with a kick to the head when Ziggler was distracted by Fandango’s dancing. - Bret Hart made an appearance and talked up the Montreal crowd. Damien Sandow interrupted, dressed as Hart. Bret punched him. 6. Sheamus defeated Damien Sandow. Sheamus won with a Brogue Kick. 7. Chris Jericho defeated The Miz. Jericho won by submission with the Walls of Jericho. After the match, Bray Wyatt cut a promo on Jericho from a rocking chair. 8. AJ Lee and Paige defeated The Funkadactyls. Cameron refused to tag in for most of the match. Once she did, Paige pinned her almost immediately with the Paige Turner. After the match, the Funkadactyls brawled amongst themselves. 9. Kofi Kingston defeated Cesaro. Kofi won with a roll-up. Cesaro tried to attack Kofi after the match, but Big E made the save. 10. Bo Dallas defeated El Torito. Bo won with a Bo-dog (using the second rope instead of the top). 11. John Cena defeated Seth Rollins. Randy Orton and Kane interfered, ending the match. Roman Reigns made the save for Cena, Superman punching Orton, but Rollins jumped him from behind. Rollins then knocked out Cena with the Money in the Bank briefcase. He once again tried to cash in, but Dean Ambrose once against stopped him. After all of that, Randy Orton tried to sneak attack Cena, but Cena Attitude Adjusted him. Kane then tried to attack Cena, but Roman Reigns speared him. Reigns and Cena held up each others’ hands. All results and recaps stolen from Uproxx. Apparently RAW was good. Talk about it here why not!
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Jul 8, 2014 05:14
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First time watching Raw live in a while and it was a pretty decent show!
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Jul 8, 2014 05:16
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good raw even better monday night wars preview
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Jul 8, 2014 05:16
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I really liked that RAW. Almost every segment either introduced/furthered an angle or gave wrestlers a chance to show some actual character to the audience. Even though some of them are stupid, they even seem to be giving storylines to an assortment of midcard wrestlers and giving me a reason to care about the matches. I don't care if the Fandango stuff is stupid, it's a story! Fandango/Ziggler, Ambrose/Rollins, Rusev/Swagger, Usos/Wyatts, Jericho/Bray - there's an actual midcard for the next PPV that makes me interested. I particularly enjoyed seeing Ambrose get to develop his character more during his match with Orton, he looked like a total crazy badass even though he lost. Still loving him loving up Rollins' cash in attempts and hope it continues for some time. I also enjoyed The Miz's new Titantron and found his new character traits pretty amusing, even if seems pretty Tyler Breezeish. I also didn't miss The Authority one drat bit.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:16
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Best ending to a raw in years. Everyone cheering Reigns and then immediately booing Cena. Fantastic.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:19
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Pistol Packin Poet posted:good raw even better monday night wars preview This and anyone who doesn't sign up for the Network is A Butt IMO. It's a steal, and if people sign up it stabilizes/validates the business model, guarantees good content, and keeps the price steady. Everyone wins. loving loved how the end of Raw showcased Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns. And Raw fading out to massive Cena boos as Roman smirked at him was incredible.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:19
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Was the Cena/Rollins match anywhere as good as their last one?
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Jul 8, 2014 05:22
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Beef Jerky Robot posted:Was the Cena/Rollins match anywhere as good as their last one? it felt like it was building to something great but they didn't have a finish for obvious reasons. The work was good but it's hard recommending you track down a match that's just a tease of things to come.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:23
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I have no clue what they're doing with Cesaro. Other than that and the lack of Daniel Bryan kneeing people in the face, Raw was pretty good. Fading out on Cena getting massive boos will always be hilarious.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:24
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I know this was a good Raw because when Cena/Seth Rollins started I looked at the time and was surprised to see that over 2.5 hours had gone by already.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:25
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Weird silence from the announcers at the end. Probably all went deaf from Vince screaming to cut the feed before the Cena boos.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:27
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one of the legitimate funniest things i've seen on raw, though not as funny as Stardust's debut
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Jul 8, 2014 05:32
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Someone explain to me why Orton went over Ambrose
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Jul 8, 2014 05:36
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I just can't get over how perfect El Torito sold this.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:37
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mkay0 posted:Someone explain to me why Orton went over Ambrose Orton is in the title match at the next PPV and needs to look strong since he hasn't had many wins lately and is still one of the biggest stars that the WWE employs
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Jul 8, 2014 05:37
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mkay0 posted:Someone explain to me why Orton went over Ambrose Orton wrestled better than Ambrose, duh.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:42
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Can someone explain what is going on with Cesaro?
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Jul 8, 2014 05:43
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Professor Funk posted:Can someone explain what is going on with Cesaro? He's on the bullet train to Jobbersville, where he will become the Swiss Guard of jobbers.
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Jul 8, 2014 05:47
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Professor Funk posted:Can someone explain what is going on with Cesaro? Losing streak, will turn face when Paulie dumps him for Brock
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Jul 8, 2014 05:50
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I can't believe I missed a Bo/Torito match. 
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Jul 8, 2014 05:54
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Dean Ambrose should be in the fatal four way match. As the champion. He should have all the championships. He should be like Happy birthday to me!
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Jul 8, 2014 06:13
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Professor Funk posted:Can someone explain what is going on with Cesaro? Vince in charge again probably has him back on the jobber train and it's sad. NienNunb posted:Dean Ambrose should be in the fatal four way match. As the champion. He should have all the championships. He should be like He'd make a fortune in engine degreaser sponsorships to keep all those belts shiny and well maintained.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:26
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Bowned.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:26
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NienNunb posted:Dean Ambrose should be in the fatal four way match. As the champion. He should have all the championships. He should be like This but with Bo. Happy Bo-thday!
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Jul 8, 2014 06:29
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I didn't get to see the MNW preview but holy poo poo from a recap it looks like the history is horrible. Trying to act like Luger leaving the WWF was a surprise to the company is amazing. He gave notice of the contract breach in August and they began writing him out. Sounds like they still have no idea why Turner wanted to replace WWF programming on TBS and a bunch of other things but it's hard to say for sure based on a recap. I at least kind of get why they spin the TBS thing this way because it avoids the fact Watts was killing their ratings, but the Luger story makes them look dumber.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:30
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MassRafTer posted:I didn't get to see the MNW preview but holy poo poo from a recap it looks like the history is horrible. Trying to act like Luger leaving the WWF was a surprise to the company is amazing. He gave notice of the contract breach in August and they began writing him out. Sounds like they still have no idea why Turner wanted to replace WWF programming on TBS and a bunch of other things but it's hard to say for sure based on a recap. I at least kind of get why they spin the TBS thing this way because it avoids the fact Watts was killing their ratings, but the Luger story makes them look dumber. Yeah, there was enough poo poo that I could tell was bullshit and I'm not an expert on 1995 wrestling. For something minor and stupid they got wrong and I have no idea why they blamed the Dog Show for preempting Raw against the first Nitro when it was the US open. If you have the time give it a watch, if Dave doesn't give a run down of the bullshit you're probably the best guy here to so.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:36
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Little johnny russo
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Jul 8, 2014 06:37
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Thauros posted:Yeah, there was enough poo poo that I could tell was bullshit and I'm not an expert on 1995 wrestling. For something minor and stupid they got wrong and I have no idea why they blamed the Dog Show for preempting Raw against the first Nitro when it was the US open. Wow, that's so lazy. It's good to see how little effort they are putting into this. Really gives me faith in the Network.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:37
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RagingHematoma posted:Little johnny russo  I'm so glad he discovered Twitter and now he livetweets both Raw and Impact.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:42
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More Fandango on commentary please.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:44
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MassRafTer posted:I didn't get to see the MNW preview but holy poo poo from a recap it looks like the history is horrible. Trying to act like Luger leaving the WWF was a surprise to the company is amazing. He gave notice of the contract breach in August and they began writing him out. Sounds like they still have no idea why Turner wanted to replace WWF programming on TBS and a bunch of other things but it's hard to say for sure based on a recap. I at least kind of get why they spin the TBS thing this way because it avoids the fact Watts was killing their ratings, but the Luger story makes them look dumber. The Luger thing is spun as "that derned evil Ted Turner and Dubya See Dubya" MADE him do it. Luger says he felt forced into breaching.
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Jul 8, 2014 06:52
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Daniel Bryan posted:The Luger thing is spun as "that derned evil Ted Turner and Dubya See Dubya" MADE him do it. Luger says he felt forced into breaching. WCW actually gave him a really crummy first offer and only upped it when they decided to make him full time, so yeah that's bullshit. (It's funny because this is one of the few stories Bischoff almost gets right.)
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Jul 8, 2014 06:55
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Luger being a surprise is the best bullshit story. WWE media, Eric's book, and Luger's book all insist that's what happened.
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Jul 8, 2014 07:03
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This whole era is new to me because I didn't start watching again until about 1997-98. I realize that all sides are going to bullshit their own histories, but I'm invested in this series to see a lot of this footage for the first time and try to imagine how mind-blowing it all was.
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Jul 8, 2014 07:17
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The Fandango love triangle, Bo being Bo, and Ambrose could be 100% of Raw and I'd be happy. Also the start-to-middle of the Monday Night Wars Era was pretty drat awesome, and that doc looks pretty good. Everyone should check it out, even the apologist types mired in some sort of weird Stockholm syndrome with the current sterilized product. GrimGypsy fucked around with this message at 07:28 on Jul 8, 2014 |
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Jul 8, 2014 07:25
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MassRafTer posted:Wow, that's so lazy. It's good to see how little effort they are putting into this. Really gives me faith in the Network. Don't take this the wrong way MRT as I love your posts here and I know you're our resident WCW historian and everything but watching it without feeling the need to dissect what's bullshit and what's not it was really good and not low effort whatsoever. The production on the thing was absolutely top notch, with them actually occasionally doing side-by-side segments with ratings and poo poo. I get being irritated about the inconsistencies on the Luger thing but getting mad that they dare say it was the dog show that preempted it rather than the US Open seems a little much. Besides, it is so loving worth it to hear Keith David say with almost total disdain "Westminster Dog Show". I mean maybe I'm just a different type of viewer, or maybe I give less of a gently caress because I was never ever a fan of WCW, but as an example, I found it head and shoulders above Rise And Fall of WCW. This was the first part of I believe what's to be a 20 part series, and other than some inconsistencies perhaps, it seemed to me, at least for the early stages, to be rather candid and much less revisionist. They have Vince on camera straight up saying "The second I saw Nitro I knew we were in for a fight", and they talked about the WWF/E doing the skits making fun of WCW in a way that was literally them saying "We were desperate and stooped to this." Not to mention it was pretty awesomely thorough in general in terms of background and cool footage and we haven't even gotten to the real meat of it yet.
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Jul 8, 2014 07:26
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Can't wait for the Borito tag team.
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Jul 8, 2014 07:30
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I'm pretty bummed about Santino. I will miss the Cobra.
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Jul 8, 2014 07:36
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Carver Crisis posted:I'm pretty bummed about Santino. I will miss the Cobra. Don't worry, it'll be left to Emma. Double Cobra.
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Jul 8, 2014 07:38
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Raw actually feels like it's full of storylines and feuds to the largest extent in awhile, I like it. Even a mild soap opera storyline can make a guy like Fandango fun again. Only concern is Cesaro, because I don't get what the end game is there. I laughed at Jerry Lawler calling Rob Van Dam a young man. Also, it feels like there's a self-consciousness to the Cena crowd reactions that hasn't usually been there. Why else have that showdown with Reigns - in front of a Canadian crowd where the reaction was fully predictable? And stuff like having Cole repeatedly say that Cena is the best WWE champion of all time? It's almost like they're asking for it. I'm not predicting a heel turn or anything (what would even be the point), and maybe I'm seeing something when nothing is there, but it feels different this time. Also:
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Jul 8, 2014 07:52
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