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Also gonna go with C, because who would ever suspect a trap?
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Jul 12, 2014 01:49
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Obscil posted:Honestly, I think this vote should have been for more than one thing. I mean, you can do more that one thing in a day. I would have voted for the safari if I had another vote available. So far, all your actions have taken a day to complete. Actually 2 days since the demonic possession cost you a day. If you pick an option that takes less than a day to complete I'll post a vote about what to do with the rest of the day. The only option that is likely to take less than a day is investigating the food situation, and even then if you want to actually do anything to change it would probably take most of a day. Your tower is an absolute mess right now, after all. Sorry I wasn't clearer about that. You have chosen to C) Try to recruit the "trap expert" from the map. Checking the map, you see that a "Trap Expert" is located in a grove near one of the trade routes through this province. When you touch it, additional text floats into view: "A trap expert who delights in plying their trade can be found here. Devious and malicious, they are the perfect pawn to begin securing our Tower. Bring candy." You prepare for your journey by donning a disguise. You don a long cloak, made all of black, black trousers and a black shirt. You complete the disguise by pulling a hood far over your face to conceal your features. Surely no one will recognize you as an Evil Overlord in your all black attire.  Several of the local farmers that you pass on your way wave at you. Your disguise is working! Following the map you arrive at the grove shortly after the sun reaches the zenith. Even at the edge of the tree line you can hear inhuman sounds of agony. The shade from the trees is a welcome relief from the hot summer sun. You do your best to creep stealthily towards the sounds of suffering. Hopefully the screaming is distracting enough to cover the near constant snapping sounds of fallen branches breaking as you step on them. You come to the edge of a clearing. Peering around the trunk of a tree, you see a fat merchant and his two donkeys caught in snare traps and strung up by their heels. And not just the merchant, the trap maker managed to string up the merchant's wagon up by the wheels too! Somehow. The donkeys each weigh as much as most men in full armor and are held up by only two ropes apiece. The wagon weighs... rather a lot. You've never actually weighed a wagon, but you're pretty sure it weighs more than any the combined weight of any group of adventurers you've ever seen. Whoever made these traps could be useful to you, oh yes. Judging by the piles of rocks, twigs, and rotten fruit on the ground underneath the merchant and donkey they've been hanging here for some time while someone threw things at them. Looking around you see a well-used fire pit and a solidly built well in the center of the clearing. This is probably a regular stopping point for travelers. Crouching near the fire pit is a young human child with stick-thin limbs. Even as you watch, the child picks up small stones and hurls them at the donkey. It takes the child a few tries but she finally hits the large target, causing the poor animal to bray in pain. The child giggles at the donkey's honking brays of pain. 1. What do you want to do? A) Try to recruit the vicious child by talking to her. B) Try to recruit the vicious child by giving her candy. C) Rescue the merchant. D) Rescue the donkeys and the merchant's goods for yourself. E) This is too crazy for you, turn tail and run back to your castle where small children don't torture adults. Adults like you.
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Jul 12, 2014 02:46
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B is the neighborly thing to do. We can help out the merchant AFTER a proper introduction.
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Jul 12, 2014 02:50
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A Let's try to out our charming voice.
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Jul 12, 2014 02:54
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A - we are such a genius evil overlord, of course the hint to bring candy is a trap itself! Just talk to the girl, thats the trick.
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Jul 12, 2014 03:02
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A use cat-charm
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Jul 12, 2014 03:02
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  Talk to her, saying things like "Would you like some candy?"
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Jul 12, 2014 03:06
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A because I'd rather we not become known for luring children back to the Tower with candy.
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Jul 12, 2014 03:08
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D Animal welfare and economics bonuses at the same time! (what can I say, I like donkeys and gold better than traps  )
FoxTerrier fucked around with this message at 04:50 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 03:12
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Vavrek posted:
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Jul 12, 2014 03:17
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Razage posted:It's important to build rapport with our new body mate! Let's call a turd a turd when we spot one ok? He's our magic kitty demon headmate. Also A use the sexyvoice on the probably also demonic little girl. Just tell her we've got an evil tower full of dangerous metal bits, old masonry, and bits of dead/slightly living animals to torment and beefy heroic dudes on the way.
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Jul 12, 2014 03:24
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I was wondering if we need to procure candy from somewhere, but thankfully that we are so resourceful! B. "Hey little boy, I got some candy, come with me for more." 
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Jul 12, 2014 04:06
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A say to the merchant in a bored, deadpan voice "Be careful. It's a trap." Of course that is about recruiting the child, who is clearly the trap expert. If you had voted to take inhuman skill at riddles you would understand this.
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Jul 12, 2014 04:40
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Oh and candy! Don't forget to mention the candy!
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Jul 12, 2014 04:48
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B , also this:Sogol posted:say to the merchant in a bored, deadpan voice "Be careful. It's a trap."
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Jul 12, 2014 05:12
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B Candy is never the wrong answer.
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Jul 12, 2014 05:30
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Vavrek posted:Kobold Safari! Yep, this gets us new minions, traps and has the Farmers happy that we are keeping the kobolds busy not eating their cattle, so they'll be better disposed to us when we go down to win them over tomorrow. gently caress. A and B, lure the child back to our Theglavwen posted:L. Name our sole remaining goblin minion/butler. Outrail fucked around with this message at 05:49 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 05:45
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Lure a small girl to our evil lair, known to have many basement torture rooms, with candy? Doesn't sound very evil to me! But have you ever met a donkey? They are called Asses for a reason! So terribly, terribly evil. Rescue and recruit the goats
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Jul 12, 2014 08:19
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B. We should have prepared a cart with tinted windows >:(
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Jul 12, 2014 09:57
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Puppies are dicks posted:A use the sexyvoice on the probably also demonic little girl. Just tell her we've got an evil tower full of dangerous metal bits, old masonry, and bits of dead/slightly living animals to torment and beefy heroic dudes on the way. +1 to this
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Jul 12, 2014 09:57
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Outrail posted:
Empty Jeeves had better have our catnip tea and nipcakes ready by the time we get back 
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Jul 12, 2014 10:00
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Sogol posted:A say to the merchant in a bored, deadpan voice "Be careful. It's a trap." Do this
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Jul 12, 2014 10:14
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Puppies are dicks posted:Let's call a turd a turd when we spot one ok? He's our magic kitty demon headmate. Yup, this one sounds good. +1 to this.
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Jul 12, 2014 13:36
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Puppies are dicks posted:Let's call a turd a turd when we spot one ok? He's our magic kitty demon headmate. This. also Check the map for a writer/poet/other creative person We are gonna need someone to come up with a bunch of sick burns when the hero comes.
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Jul 12, 2014 14:16
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Puppies are dicks posted:Let's call a turd a turd when we spot one ok? He's our magic kitty demon headmate. This Additionally our remaining goblin must be our butler, our lumpy, short, stinky butler.
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Jul 12, 2014 17:17
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hollylolly posted:This Voting that we conjure up a dress suit that's too small and make him wear it always. And a bowtie.
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Jul 12, 2014 17:42
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If we have to be a furry, so does Butler. Mouse ears with the suit.
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Jul 12, 2014 18:11
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You know there might be other traps around.
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Jul 12, 2014 18:51
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Wentley posted:If we have to be a furry, so does Butler. Mouse ears with the suit. Oh my yes, the humilatingest mouse suit that ever suited. Our next task is to find a competent (and appropriately familiar with faux fur/velour) tailor.
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Jul 12, 2014 19:36
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I wonder. Is our tower actually a tower? We seem to have
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Jul 12, 2014 20:16
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It's actually just a really tall basement.
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Jul 12, 2014 20:31
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And our mom probably lives upstairs. Do we have any idea how old we are?
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Jul 12, 2014 21:31
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Nyaa posted:I was wondering if we need to procure candy from somewhere, but thankfully that we are so resourceful! In my head, you're the same gender as the kid, and this is ever so much less creepy. That seems like the sort of thing you should get to vote on though so here you go: 1. What Gender are you? A) Male B) Female C) Dolphin Sogol posted:Do we have any idea how old we are? 2. You do know how old you are. You are D) 8 years old E) 16 years old F) 21 years old G) 45 years old H) Write in You have chosen to A) Try to recruit the vicious child by talking to her. You decide not to risk stepping out into the clearing just yet. After all there could be more traps out there. Instead you call out to the small vicious child: "Psst. Hey kid, c'mere. Yeah, you. Come over here. I've got something for you." The girl looks around brightly, then skips to you. "A present? For me? What is it! What is it!" She's about 3 feet tall, dirty and thin. Aside from that she looks like any other little kid offered a gift; smiling and happy. You answer: "How would you like to get out of the hot sun and the cold rain and come live with me in a real castle?" You're tempted to say more, but something cautions you to stop there. You can feel your cat tattoo pulsing and a vague flicker of feline amusement pulses through your thoughts and you have to fight down an urge to either hand the kid some candy or comb whiskers that you don't even have. The malicious child trap expert has apparently forgotten all about the gift she thought she was going to get and replies: "A castle! Really? That sounds fantastic. Hey! Wait a minute, you're trying to make me give up my traps! I won't, I won't, I won't!" She starts vigorously jumping up and down to underline her refusal. This is almost too easy. "Of course you can keep making traps. You can make traps anywhere you want. You have a rare gift and you should nurture and develop it. Come to my castle and you'll be able to make as many traps as you want. I get more interesting visitors than fat merchants like him too." The sudden change in her attitude is like the sun coming out after a storm. Suddenly she's all happy smiles again. "Okay! My name is Penelope Peril." +1 trap expert You and your newest minion let everything down from the snares. The merchant starts blubbering his thanks as soon as he's on the ground again, but you shush him. "Be Careful. It's a trap." He freezes in place, his face is so swollen he can hardly see and as he peers warily around you realize he has no idea who you are. He's still sitting there, paralyzed by confusion, as you lead the merchant's cart and donkeys off, with the little girl child dancing around you. It's late in the day by the time you get back to the castle. You summon your last goblin servant to store the merchant's goods while you show Penelope to her new room. All the furniture has been wrecked by various adventurers, but at least the windows keep the rain out and the mattress is mostly intact. After living who knows how long outdoors on her own she seems delighted by it. And by all the sharp pointy edges around. Day 4 3. Do you want to name your last goblin? I) No J) Yes, I don't care what his name is K) Yes, Hardcastle Jeeves. L) Yes, write in You're breakfast was late to arrive this morning, and it seems less satisfying than you remember it being in the past. 4. What do you want to do today. M) Investigate your food supply and preparation(Might not take a full day) N) Try to recruit local farmers O) Try to recruit the "Boar of Unusual Size and Usual But Proportional Appetite" from the map P) Visit the blacksmith Q) Visit the witch R) Investigate the "Catnip field" S) Investigate one of the "Rat Nests" T) Try to recruit more goblins (may be difficult given what happened to the last batch) U) Explore your tower V) Look for kobolds (Kobold Safari, 2+ days) W) Try to give your trap expert orders (will likely not take all day) X) Inventory the loot from the merchant Y) Visit the tailor (order a fursuit for your last goblin) Z) Something else, write in
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Jul 12, 2014 22:36
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1. C Dolphin This should be a no brainer. 2. H Several Thousands So many thousands, duh. The only correct answer is that we're a several thousand year old ancient dimensional doom horror, alternately asexual/pansexual depending on the phase of the moon. 4. Y Visit the tailor (order a fursuit for your last goblin) Think of how much easier this would make recruiting new goblins! With hard work and a bit of luck, every goblin can get an amazing TWO, that's right TWO (two is more than one) meals of dusty dried old Cheetos per day, and by outliving their contemporaries in usefulness get pimped out in a snazzy furry suit that makes even the meekest goblin 20% cooler. I also don't give a crap what the goblin's name is because he's a goblin.
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Jul 12, 2014 22:48
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ADKN Clearly, this is us: 
Lord Cyrahzax fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 22:49
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1. C 2. H. 666 We're an immortal bipedal infernal dolphin. 3. K 4. V
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Jul 12, 2014 22:49
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Obscil posted:1. C Definitely those. 3. K. Of course. 4. Q. What better to round out our package than a goth girlfriend our mom won't approve of?
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Jul 12, 2014 23:00
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BFKQ
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Jul 12, 2014 23:17
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Puppies are dicks posted:1. C Dolphin This should be a no brainer. +KQ Though being a teenaged cat-dolphin is tempting.
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Jul 12, 2014 23:21
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 01:41 |
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1. C Dolphin . 2. H Several Thousands. Merely teenager year in Dolphin. 3. K Hardcastle Jeeves. 4. Y Tailor. This tower shall be fairy tale theme with little girl minion, mouse suit servant, and candy decorated wall like Christmas.
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Jul 12, 2014 23:26
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