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1. C 2. G - Recruit the guide to be the Steward of our tower. Hardcastle Jeeves is an excellent butler, but he attends to our needs directly. The Steward would handle all issues relating to our evil tower, and work with our trap expert to give her all the supplies she needs, and could be the public face of our organization to any solicitors who come calling.
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Jul 13, 2014 22:34
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Oh no my precious Kobolds have been reduced to domesticated zoo animals.  Sogol posted:C
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Jul 13, 2014 22:37
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Vavrek posted:1. C Our tower need a tour guide, yes.
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Jul 13, 2014 23:03
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As an Evil Overlord you don't care a drat thing about your fellow travelers. When one of the tries to talk to you, you start laughing evilly or talking with your demon tatoo until they get the hint and leave you alone. You do talk with the guide quite a bit, and learn that his name is Irwin Steve. During one of the rest breaks you ask him:Sogol posted:G Yes. Recruit the guide using our awesome voice to give us the real info and what is going on behind the scenes of this circus. He's taking quite a liking to you so he looks around carefully to make sure no-one is watching before kneeling down to look you in the eye. "Do you really want to know? There's an authentic kooobold tribal meeting tonight. Meet me by the stable doors a little after midnight and you can ask them yoooourself." *** Dinner that evening is pretty much what you always imagined traveling/inn food to taste like, but it is surprisingly satisfying after your underwhelming breakfast. *** Naughty child that you are, you stay up way past your bedtime. Sneaking out of your room at the inn you meet Irwin Steve and he guides you to the kobold reserve. It takes you about an hour to reach the edge of the preserve, marked only by a brightly painted and happy sign:  "Kobolds are magnificent and fascinating creatures, but also very daaangerous. Just follow my lead and please, don't poke them with a stick." After cautioning you, Steve Irwin leads you deeper into the preserve, leaving the coach-trail almost immediately. It's dark and hard to see, but you think the terrain here is very hilly and drier than most of the surrounding lands. Suddenly, Steve disappears! "C'mon kid, this way" No you can faintly see his hand waving around a cunningly concealed switchback passage way cut into the base of a hill. Heading into the passageway you realize that the switchback not only hides the entrance, but also prevents the light from inside from pouring out. It's actually darker inside the cave, than outside, but you can see faint glimmers of light from inside and it gets brighter as you move through the switchback. When you exit the switchback you see your very first kobold, a sentry about your height conversing with Irwin Steve.  He looks uncertain about letting you in, but finally grunts and gestures you both down the natural tunnel sloping deeper underground. The light, firelight maybe, is coming from down the passage. The tunnel opens out into a cramped underground cavern with half a dozen wrinkled old kobolds huddled around a fire and too many younger kobolds trying to dance in a large ring surrounding the older kobolds. This is your opportunity to ask the kobolds any questions you want. Actions or questions you think might be inflammatory will require a minivote. How do you want to recruit the kobolds? It may be wise to ask a few questions before deciding.
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Jul 13, 2014 23:35
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Eh, screw informed decisions. Let's go whole hog and recruit them blind! What could go wrong?! Tell the Kobolds if they join us we'll let them eat Irwin Steve. Sit back and watch the fun.
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Jul 13, 2014 23:47
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Do you like dolphins? Do you fear dolphins? Do you want to eat people? Do you want to eat Heros? How do you feel about goblins, little girls and cats?
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Jul 13, 2014 23:50
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Finally kobolds. Finally. Confuse the kobolds by clicking your tongue a lot. You are a dumbass and you think this is how they speak.
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Jul 13, 2014 23:54
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Ask them what their meeting is over, and ask about any issues the Kobold tribes are facing at this time. Also ask them about their goals and where they see themselves in five years.
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Jul 14, 2014 00:00
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Kidnap Irwin and have the kobolds bring him to our tower. We'll then ransom him to the town in exchange for the knowledge of brewing and baking. We'll then build a bakery and brewhouse by the base of our tower with Kobold labour, supervised by Jeeves of course. We'll supply the kobolds with the food and drink they need, keep some for ourselves, and sell the excess. Boom! Food supply, Kobold loyalty and economy problems all solved! With a secure income and minion base, we can then concentrate on our study of Evil!
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Jul 14, 2014 00:02
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Ask them if they would like to be free from this unfair prison called a "wilderness preserve". Also, Ask them who their leader is. The obvious pretense being to see if we can't convince them or their leader to come and serve us.
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Jul 14, 2014 00:04
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- Do you enjoy your current lot in life? - Do you have any historical figures? - How about a once proud history of slaying adventurers?
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Jul 14, 2014 00:09
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Slaan posted:1. C- What do Kobolds eat? What do they drink? Would you like to be alive or dead when I feed you to them to gain their loyalty This sounds good. So slow. White Noise Marine fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Jul 14, 2014 |
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Jul 14, 2014 00:28
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"Kobolden! It is time to free yourselves! Too long have you been deprived the beers and breads that are your birthright!!! Too loooooong. Follow me to my stronghold where we shall rain terror and destruction upon your oppressors!!! Rise up!! Free yourselves from this ignominy!!! Take your rightful place!!!" At least this is what we think we say. It's pretty exciting stuff. It might be more like: "hi Kobolds." So hard to say. Oh... I forgot... "Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!" Cuz we've been practicing. Sogol fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Jul 14, 2014 |
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Jul 14, 2014 00:34
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Slaan posted:Do you like dolphins? Do you fear dolphins? Slaan posted:Do you want to eat people? Slaan posted:Do you want to eat Heros? Slaan posted:How do you feel about goblins, little girls and cats? Slaan posted:How do you feel about little girls? Slaan posted:How do you feel about cats? Obscil posted:Ask them if they would like to be free from this unfair prison called a "wilderness preserve". Obscil posted:Ask them who their leader is. HiHo ChiRho posted:Ask them what their meeting is over, and ask about any issues the Kobold tribes are facing at this time. HiHo ChiRho posted:ask about any issues the Kobold tribes are facing at this time. HiHo ChiRho posted:Also ask them about their goals and where they see themselves in five years. the_steve posted:- Do you enjoy your current lot in life? the_steve posted:- Do you have any historical figures? the_steve posted:- How about a once proud history of slaying adventurers? LLSix fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Jul 14, 2014 |
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Jul 14, 2014 01:00
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Tell them that you want to be their chieftain. Tell them you are a powerful magic user and you will lead them to a new place to live that will be much nicer than these caves. Tell them you will lead the kobolds to greatness as their chieftain, with you as their leader they will no longer have to fear humans. Then show off some impressive magic to show your power.
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Jul 14, 2014 01:12
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Ask Irwin if we can take any with us to our lair.
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Jul 14, 2014 01:15
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RandomPauI posted:Ask Irwin if we can take any with us to our lair.
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Jul 14, 2014 01:21
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"Look Irwin, may I call you Irwin? Look, here's what we do. You are going to report that several of them have died and we will dig little graves. What? No! Of course they won't have died. I am going to take them to create the beginnings of the Kobold Liberation Army (KLA). They will live in my tower... Um lair... They will come with me and get stronger. Soon they will be many and free... Well, more or less free."
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Jul 14, 2014 01:28
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Beer Bread & Freedom First for a few, then for many. Sogol, I like your idea with the graves. They can have died while vieing for the chieftainship.
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Jul 14, 2014 01:57
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One day in the future these mighty kobolds will remember us fondly but with disgust as well.  Hah jeez!Kobold Luther King posted:I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation. Tempted to do the whole speech out but.  Poor Kobolds.For reals though plan Sogol.
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Jul 14, 2014 02:02
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Sogol posted:"Look Irwin, may I call you Irwin? Look, here's what we do. You are going to report that several of them have died and we will dig little graves. What? No! Of course they won't have died. I am going to take them to create the beginnings of the Kobold Liberation Army (KLA). They will live in my tower... Um lair... They will come with me and get stronger. Soon they will be many and free... Well, more or less free." This sounds like a good plan. Also, mention that we have a goblin servant to help us?
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Jul 14, 2014 02:13
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"Can't we
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Jul 14, 2014 02:33
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Tell the kobolds of our magical properties as an Evil Overlord and convince them we can stand in as a replacement Seer. Declare Irwin honorary chieftan; anyone who disagrees can challenge him in single combat. Entice the whole lot back to our lair with promises of protection, sanctuary, traps, and benevolent little girls.
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Jul 14, 2014 03:05
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Ask Irwin about the Bosses. What sort of leverage do they have over the kobolds to keep them imprisoned?
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Jul 14, 2014 04:11
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Yeah Offer to be the new kobold Seer
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Jul 14, 2014 05:12
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Nyaa posted:"Can't we Irwin replies: "I like you kid, but you're still just a kid. They're adults and wouldn't hesitate to break you over their knees if they think you're a threat." the_steve posted:Ask Irwin about the Bosses. What sort of leverage do they have over the kobolds to keep them imprisoned?
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Jul 14, 2014 05:27
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A Terrible Person posted:Also, I'm not putting the concept out as a legitimate theory, but just something that is going to forever be hanging out at the back of my head. And now it's South Park: The Quest for my Teddy. Thanks.
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Jul 14, 2014 05:33
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Beside what has been said for the self revelation and recruiting speech, use our awesome magic and extreme charisma to do it in the form of Disney song montage instead. I could write the script if needed Nyaa fucked around with this message at 13:01 on Jul 14, 2014 |
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Jul 14, 2014 12:58
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Sogol posted:"Look Irwin, may I call you Irwin? Look, here's what we do. You are going to report that several of them have died and we will dig little graves. What? No! Of course they won't have died. I am going to take them to create the beginnings of the Kobold Liberation Army (KLA). They will live in my tower... Um lair... They will come with me and get stronger. Soon they will be many and free... Well, more or less free." Voting This
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Jul 14, 2014 17:38
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Rahul posted:Voting This Also voting that.
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Jul 14, 2014 20:28
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The eldest kobold answers in their sibilant accent: "We would like very much to be free from thissss placcccce. It issss no ssssecret, you can assssk Irwin Ssssteve if you like. We have been forcccced to live here for 5 of our generationssss and threatened with our complete annihilatiiiion if we leave. Life here issss bad, but it issss ssstill life. Why do you taunt ussss with succch quesssstionssss. Can you free ussss?" Seizing the moment, you turn to the guide who you befriended with your honeyed tongue. Sogol posted:"Look Irwin, may I call you Irwin? Look, here's what we do. You are going to report that several of them have died and we will dig little graves. What? No! Of course they won't have died. I am going to take them to create the beginnings of the Kobold Liberation When you tried to say Kobold Liberation Army your tongue refused to pronounce the word you wanted and instead twisted it into Association. It was as if, for a moment, a superior will had seized control of you body again while your cat tattoo burned with a taste of hellfire. Everyone seems excited and half of the dancers leap forward to volunteer.+4 kobold hunters Two of the dancers even want you to talk to their mates. In the conversations that follow sweet, persuasive words flow from you without effort and you can tell that most of those listening are persuaded and several more ask to join you. The kobold council is still cautions though. The harsh lessons of their people's long enslavement has taught them caution. In the end, the Kobold council agrees to let all of the initial volunteers go with you, as well as any of their spouses who want to. +2 kobold servants, courtesy of the cat charm. In order to avoid being detected you will have to travel with your new recruits at night and you set out at once. If you push hard you will arrive back at your tower by dawn of the second night. Irwin reluctantly returns to his day job of guiding tourists, never realizing how close he'd come to getting to live in what might one day be the world's greatest creation of strange and vicious animals. Such is the whimsical way in which Evil Overlords dash the dreams of others. *** Day 6, Dawn:  You finally arrive at your tower just as the sun sends it's first revealing rays advancing across the land. It has been a long and difficult night march for you. Unlike your new minions, you do not see well in darkness and you stumbled often. Without the aid of the kobold servants you don't think your 8 year old legs would have made it. You are really looking forward to sleeping in your own bed, especially since you need to be at your best for the Hero's arrival tomorrow. Unfortunately, there's a problem. Two of them really. First, your front gate has a new decoration. Hardcastle Jeeves, your goblin butler and longest serving minion, has been strung up by his huge ears ears and is hanging right above your front entrance. Penelope Peril, your devious trap expert, is giggling up at him. As soon as she spots you she rushes over: "I'mmmmmm hungry." She whines. Worringly, she's looking at your kobolds as if she wonders if they're food. 1. Do you want to get Jeeves down? It might upset Penelope. A) Yes, I cut through the ropes holding him up. It looks like a long fall. B) Yes, I order Penelope to let him down C) No, it's his fault for letting her trap him and I tell him so D) Write in 2. What do you want to feed Penelope? E) Nothing, we're out of food and I don't know where food in my tower comes from because that's minion work. F) A kobold servant. It's not like they're good for anything else anyways. G) I freed Hardcastle Jeeves, I make this his problem. H) Write in 3. You are tired. Very tired. As tired as any dolphin has ever been. I) I go to sleep at once, and will wake refreshed and ready tomorrow to deal with the Hero J) I will take a short nap, and will wake at Noon. I will be a little tired tomorrow K) I will draw on the demonic energies in my cat tattoo to re-invigorate myself. There will be a cost and might annoy the cat since I asked for magic might not physical might, but if it works I will likely be able to work all day today and tomorrow. L) Write in
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Jul 14, 2014 23:22
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1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. 2G. Hardcastle Jeeves' problem. Tell him to bring out the best stuff. No alcohol. 3J. Short nap and then prepare everyone for tomorrow's battle. Nyaa fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Jul 15, 2014 |
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Jul 15, 2014 00:03
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:09
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. This sounds good to me.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:16
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. +1
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Jul 15, 2014 00:21
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. Make it so.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:21
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. Yup. Plus traps. Lots of traps.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:24
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. 
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Jul 15, 2014 00:39
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. Sure. Hm, we'll have to be careful about bandwagonning this too hard, lest we commit so dramatically that our mind snaps and we finish the hero's job for him.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:49
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 02:21 |
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Nyaa posted:1D. Tell Penelope that Jeeves is the butler who serve food, so bring him down if she wants to eat. I disagree with the short nap because that's when Colonel Sir Whiskerybottoms will no doubt take over our fragile dolphin meat form and wreak untold havoc in terms of mutilated mice, slow-witted birds, and shoes beneath the bed which are pooped-in. Abuse magic/substances, abuse them hard.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:53
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