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...of SCIENCE!
Apr 26, 2008
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CVagts posted:

I watched the pilot, and it was intriguing enough that I kinda want to track down the books. The show seems filled with cliches though, cliches that seem like they wouldn't be in the book version.

Everything in the pilot is directly from the book, and the book is jam-packed with cliches.

zVxTeflon posted:

Is this gonna have a buncha corporate vampire poo poo like Blade or Underworld or whatever the gently caress? First episode was interesting except for every time they cut to the highrise vampire guy pulling the plot strings with his minions or whatever. That part was crap

The vampires in The Strain are just the super vampires from Blade 2 with the serial numbers filed off. All the shadowy corporate stuff happening with Richie Rich's dad is him collaborating with the super vampire in exchange for immortality, which as any reader of genre fiction will tell you is something that totally works out 100% of the time and never ends with the person being killed when they have outlived their usefulness.

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...of SCIENCE!
Apr 26, 2008
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I could happily go the rest of my life without ever seeing another piece of fiction use AA as crutch to have a character openly state their motivations, conflicts, and personality.

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Apr 26, 2008
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Holyshoot posted:

Sounds good to me. Most vampire movies/shows these days have been teenage girl pussy vampires.

etalian posted:

well the premise is sort of if the reapers won in Blade II given how the show has gross apex predator vampires not the Twilight dreamboat vampire.

I love when people talk about vampires this way as if Bram Stoker's Dracula wasn't closer to Edward than he is to Del Toro's zompires.

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Apr 26, 2008
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Just when the show starts to pull out of a quagmire of cliches they just had to have a creepy nursery rhyme to let you know that things were #2spooky.

Holyshoot posted:

Hollywood always has to have its retard ruled by emotion and not logic for audience members who feel that way.

Good to see the zombie superspergs are here to beep boop the place up.

Drifter posted:

Hey guys, that mexican banger's pretty hardcore, right? Loves his mom, went to jail, afraid to go back, a petty criminal with honor. Oh boy.

All the characters are really cliche but the Banger With A Heart Of Gold & co are especially bad. Would it have killed them to have somebody touch up the dialogue so it didn't read like something a timid English teacher who only knows "pendejo" and "ese" would write?

life is killing me posted:

I pretty much have no goddamn idea who they let write the line about airplanes being like missiles, and why it made it into the final cut of the show.

The wife having crippling OCD and religious mania that was paralyzing her husband and ruining their family worked a lot better in the book when you could actually see into her mind and hear her thoughts.

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Apr 26, 2008
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sector_corrector posted:

That's not really the right phrasing for it. It's more like "Local mom gets rid of annoying neighbors using this one weird trick."

Vampire hunters HATE her!

e. Local mom introduces her neighbor to her sick husband, you won't believe what happens next.

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life is killing me posted:

If it was just gonna fall off while he peed and he wasn't even going to feel it, then I have trouble believing that he even felt the urge to pee overcome the OH MY loving GOD WHAT THE poo poo gently caress OH GOD GOD GOD GOD WHY FUCKHITLER poo poo kind of pain he should have felt.

Considering the cloaca revelation last ep he should have been peeing out of his butt

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Power_of_the_glory posted:

Anyone else notice that Abraham is way too old during the flashbacks? Is supposed to be over 90 on the show, because if so he is pretty spry.

The books follow anime rules for old people, where age has zero effect on a person's abilities until it's suddenly convenient for them to have problems for the sake of plot and/or dramatic tension.

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Apr 26, 2008
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BlackJosh posted:

Like seriously. SHE WAS A BROKEN PERSON, SHE WAS INSANELY CLINGY AND loving HUNG HERSELF LITERALLY AN EPISODE LATER. But yeah, what dumb plot hole, a human being not responding 100% logically to a situation.

Now the dialogue in the first episode, and the incredibly ham-handed exposition of some of the characters is totally legit. But jesus people actually pay attention if you're going to complain about this poo poo. Stop trying to show how much smarter you are than a fake person on TV. "Tactical realism" and "What I would do!" nerds are ruining any sort of interesting discussion on any show.

Agreedo. Sadly, now that the sheen of gross vampires (aka True Vampires, no matter what hacks like Stephanie Meyer and Bram Stoker tell you) has worn off the gross zombie turbonerds are coming out in full force to complain about the tactical realism of a zompire outbreak.

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Apr 26, 2008
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life is killing me posted:

Also, LOL at all of them basically trusting these dudes who look exactly like the ones who tried to tongue suck their blood. I don't care, I still would have been like, FUUUUUCK THIS.

Tell us more about how you would totally outsmart and outrun a goddamned SWAT team armed with automatic weapons that had you cornered

Drifter posted:

No, but...It's not viral, it's ... an infestation.

Seeing as how the worms absolutely destroy the internal organs of the person they've infested, a baby would either die, or turn and eat its way out of a womb.

There can't be some weird half measure. Not to mention the fact that the child's body wouldn't grow even if it lived through that transformation process.

...goddammit.

Del Toro's big weakness is that he's such a goddamned nerd that his enthusiasm for the source material gets in the way of actual storytelling. The Strain is several great disparate takes on vampires (vampires as a purely biological phenomenon, the Nazis being a cover for vampirism, a vampire outbreak in New York, a shadowy cabal of Vampires manipulating the world from the shadows, a post-apocalypse where the vampires have won and control everything) all smashed together in an unsatisfying and contradictory mish-mash.

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Apr 26, 2008
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Setrakian said that the Master controls all the zombies he infects, so it stands to reason that the daughter was a lost cause because she was infected by one of the Master's zombies.

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Apr 26, 2008
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Avasculous posted:

Agreed. I read the first book on a plane and while it was far from stellar, it's funny that most of the things people (including me) have been bitching about in the show were added in translation. I think what happened is that they felt like without a mental narrative, characters like Nora, Jim, Fet, and Gus would feel very one-dimensional- so they added a bunch of scenes introducing Nora's mother, Jim's wife, Gus's friend, etc. all of whom are barely footnotes in the text.

This is what disjointed the pacing so badly and made a lot of the decisions of the protagonists, conspirators, and bystanders seem so idiotic.

There's mass panic over the disappearances and violence 2-3 nights in. Eph is framed almost immediately and the FBI agents are conspirators instead of just idiots.

Eph and Nora's Dana Scullying towards Setrakian in the show ("Ok, there's vampires, but telepathy?? BULLSHIT") is reduced to:

"Vampires? Prove it."
"Ok, look."
"Huh, let's listen to this guy."


It's campy as hell, but the book at least felt a lot more self-aware of its campyness while the show feels like it's trying to make me give a poo poo about Eph's glue-eating kid risking his life for cigarettes.

For being a huge nerd who so obviously loves the subject material Del Toro has a recurring problem with refusing to actually get to the drat firework factory. Like in Blade 2 when he spends the entire movie hyping up the anti-vampire kill squad only to unceremoniously kill them off, or Pacific Rim promising gratuitous non-stop kaiju-on-giant-robot action and delivering murky nighttime underwater slugfests wedged between 90 minutes of training montages and pointless side character hijinx while also killing off most of the robots as soon as you finally get to see them in action.

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Apr 26, 2008
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This show is brutal. It ropes you in with a good pilot, goes downhill enough to make me consider quit watching it, does that rad gas station episode which is just good enough to rope me back in, and then resumes going downhill until the wet fart of a finale.

The worst kind of show is the one that shows that it could be so much better yet never is

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zVxTeflon posted:

Time to reveal the other vampire masters what should the set look like? Just prop them up on some hand trucks in a big empty room I guess.

It's especially disappointing because the way they describe the vampire masters in the book was pretty cool and unique: they're perfectly smooth and hairless because they've spent aeons sitting unmoving while their vampire regeneration is raging and they're so in control of their bodies they never make a single movement that isn't calculated and perfectly controlled.

Then in the TV show they just make them low-budget knockoffs of that one monster from Pan's Labyrinth and slap them on hand truck and call it a day.

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I thought that the book's ending was unsatisfying because it is Setrakian pulling a Redd Foxx and being incapacitated by heart problems that makes him conveniently let the Master get away, but the TV show was way worse while adding nothing.

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Apr 26, 2008
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Much like the people who defend Kevin Smith with "yeah his movies suck poo poo but he's such a great speaker!" and then you listen to his talks and it's just him telling the same Hollywood stories he was telling 5 years ago in between bragging about his hot wife and his fleshlight 'n poo poo and poo poo like that n' poo poo, Del Toro is somebody who is constantly getting apologists for his bad and badly-written movies because his monster designs and practical effects so good yet crap like The Strain comes along and it's like he's not even trying anymore.

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