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Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


So yeah this show basically sucks when it's not about Vasiliy or whatever Eichorst is doing.

As most people have mentioned, the lead character is insufferable, and every time they dwell on any given character's personal problems, it's even more insufferable. Ephraim is a huge rear end in a top hat and a moron. If the show had any hint of genius it would have surprise-killed him off in episode 8. Watching him sit around and whine about his life at custody hearings and therapy sessions was easily the worst part of the show, and when they had other characters start doing it, it was nearly too much.

The show needs to be more about crises and less about downtime to explore characters' families, because it's not good at the latter thing, and really it gets the wrong idea by thinking that this is a draw. The way they handle it, it's not raising the stakes at all or making anyone interesting, it's just burning up time.

The show's insistence for most of the first season that it's a police procedural about the simplest mystery ever also got a little old, and the show is pockmarked with plot holes and convenient coincidences at this point. It was awful nice of Setrakian to remember that you can kill the Master to end the plague only after several days of trying to kill a list of 200+ people by himself.

So, the writing is terrible and some of the characters are worse, but Kevin Durand and his in-and-out Ukrainian accent, along with the Nazi Vampire who thinks Setrakian "just takes things too personally," hold up the show.

Sodomy Hussein fucked around with this message at 02:33 on Sep 2, 2014

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Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


People insist that this show is not to be taken seriously, forgetting the multiple terrible scenes per episode demanding that you take it seriously, between the cheese.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


32MB OF ESRAM posted:

Young Setrakian probably could have done it. Seems like a lot of the mistakes he makes are because he forgets how old he is now. Can't keep up with the whippersnappers.

Yes, anyone can just run around the greater NY area and kill 200 people in... Three days? Also, he's afraid of facing down the Master, which is why he goes straight to the airport (where he knows the Master is) to tell people that if they keep the coffin, they can defeat him.

Give up, the show is badly written.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Andrew_1985 posted:

Have they reduced the incubation time between infection and murderous zompire? Wasn't it like a day before you started attacking people? Or are Diane and her son now chosen as well?

So did Dutch stick with the group or leave? I like her.

The incubation period moves at the speed of plot. But I think the show has tried to get across that you will become a vampire more quickly if you are drained dry, as opposed to suffering an incidental worm.

We're two episodes out from "army of vampires attack a gas station" and well into the total breakdown of society--it's literally too dangerous to walk on the street and has been for days--and characters are still sitting around having chats and ruminating about their personal lives. Or they're going off alone to go on quests of personal reflection. And we have to withstand Eph the Incredible Shithead who drives characters away by pulling rank as a CDC official, an organization that does not really exist at this point and he was made persona non grata from days ago. After an episode that was more of Eph's boring stupid personal life than ever.

This is not even touching on the multiple moron characters, like security guy who wants it to be on the record that he "disagrees" with destroying civilization but has nothing further to contribute.

The pacing of this show is miserable, it looked like they were all set to actually ramp things up with the encounter with Eichorst followed by the gas station episode, but somehow the show is now moving more slowly than ever. It feels like it's running up on significant budget constraints combined with just lousy writing all-around. It's not even fun to watch as a trainwreck, it's just kind of boring at this point. I think I'm done.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


In a reasonably fun vampire show I would be looking forward to the Master using Eph's ex-wife to troll him, but this show will find a way to make that boring.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Rarrgh posted:

In a truly garbage episode this was probably the most perplexing moment, but whatever.

So is she supposed to be Australian then? I thought she was meant to be Dutch or something.

She's a 90's movie-style exotic and dangerous hacker woman.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


vseslav.botkin posted:

And everybody just sat there with their trays in the upright position? What the gently caress.

The physics/plausibility of the master instantly infecting and killing everyone on the plane has never been addressed, which may have been the first clue that this show was going nowhere fast.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Drifter posted:

DO what I do and just literally skip all the dialog that isn't the old guy or the ratcatcher dude or any of the vampire stuff. You can get through an episode in about 12 minutes and come out on top.

Let's think bigger--since I quit the thread has been much better than the show.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Apoplexy posted:

He was one of the lead guys in the bar scene card game, if I can remember right? If so, loving yes he was.

No, the Bear Jew beat his rear end to death.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


It's really hard to nail down any one bad thing about The Strain because virtually everything is bad.

Bad characters. Eph is a whining idiot moron with a bad wig and it's by extension impossible to care about anything he does. Every time the show breaks from the actual draw, Guillermo Del Toro zombie-vampires, it's to visit tertiary family characters that we're supposed to care about but that we actually can't wait to see die. And the show doesn't get this at all, it thinks this is all heavy poo poo.

Scattershot tone. The apocalypse is happening, but wait we have to stop for this CBS custody drama. Let's break to see how hard it is to deal with a parent who has dementia. Now for a break from chaos in the streets to have a bunch of people who showed up two episodes ago talk about their personal problems. A bunch of pulpy, by-god maybe actually entertaining characters show up to break up this very special episode of Chicago Hope, and then start splitting screen-time on pointless filler. Occasionally plot threads start between main characters and tertiary characters, only to be cut short in the third scene when the character in question turns into a vampire.

Miserable pacing. Series finally looks to be getting going on episodes seven and eight... Followed by a whole lot of anticlimactic nonsense that would have been settled many episodes before, were it not for the show's insistence on having this inane, awful custody subplot. Let's do "in-depth life cycle of the newly-born vampire" in like five different episodes in case you weren't paying attention or something. There's charitably eight episodes worth of actual things happening in this thirteen-episode season.

Plot holes an aircraft carrier could go through. Nothing about the overall story or the finer plot points make any sense whatsoever if you stop to think about them for even a moment. Every character acts like a total moron just to drag out episodes with more filler.

The Master. The Master looks ridiculous and he sounds like he has a dick in his mouth. Which he kinda does, but still.

The world's most boring apocalypse. By the mid-point of the season, humans cannot walk out on the streets of New York City at night, but everyone's in the basement talking about their feelings and motivations. There's an eclipse where vampires completely rule the streets, and then.... Ehhhhhh, let's argue about whether or not the plague is mystical or biological with Eph the Moron, self-appointed sleuth sent to puzzle out the world's simplest mystery.

Dull design. The cinematography is uninspired, the set dressings are usually dull, and it's completely obvious they don't have the money to film in New York City. The monsters aren't treated with any respect by the script, sometimes they're deadly scorpions and sometimes they're clumsy zombies. Setrakian realizing he has to take his heart meds and then just walking back up the stairs out of the vampire den was probably the worst of this. Generally, as physical choreography goes, this show is doing nothing.

I recently started picking up Walking Dead again now that most of it is on Netflix, and while Walking Dead is a sadpocalypse filled with endlessly moping characters that make it fairly difficult to watch and nearly impossible to marathon, it's just so much better written and shot, and they have so much stronger an idea of what they're doing and where they want to go with it. I'm not sure I've watched a show as atonal as The Strain before.

Sodomy Hussein fucked around with this message at 09:23 on Oct 7, 2014

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.



Holy poo poo you guys weren't kidding about the $30 handcarts. That's incredible.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Finndo posted:

Anyone else notice they one-upped Underworld. "Two asleep, one awake, that is the way of it!"

Here it's all, "Three asleep and if they wake you are effed!"

Every vampire lord looks like Bill Nighy (when they are supposed to be androgynous creepoids), so there's that.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


He hasn't really done anything great since 2006, but we're not really at Tim Burton levels of dilution or Kevin Smith levels of "never actually gave a poo poo about the art of filmmaking." But stuff like this where it's just Blade II vampires and a really loving bad script with low production values is pretty disheartening.

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Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Esroc posted:

I somehow missed that this show even existed and marathoned the entire first season yesterday. I really enjoyed it but came and skimmed this thread only to see that goon consensus appears to be that its bland and terrible?

I don't see why, really. It's certainly not redefining the genre, the people in it are remarkably stupid (80% of the problems they run into could have been avoided by anyone with an IQ over double digits), and The Master looks like a muppet, but the show has a lot of charm and I quite enjoyed sitting back and watching it all unfold.

Maybe a lot of my enjoyment was due to the back-to-back nature of my viewing, because I loved how the show started slow and mysterious only to gradually ramp up into near Vampire Apocalypse over the course of 13 episodes. The vampires are proper monsters and not brooding male models which is a welcome return to form, and I appreciated the zombie-esque transitional period. Also, Fet is a badass and I want to be like him when I grow up.

There's a lot of issues with the show, but there's also a lot to like.

I am one episode into Helix, it's about twice as silly and nonsensical as The Strain, but also about twice as good and hilarious. Try that.

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