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ex post facho
Oct 25, 2007

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Luc Besson has lost his touch.

Far from his days of La Femme Nikita, The Professional, or The Fifth Element, Lucy was incomprehensible sci-fi schlock. I imagine that Besson took a few massive rips from his bong, watched an episode of Through the Wormhole and thought "hey, Scarlett Johannson would make this awesome."

The dialogue was laughably bad ("You never really die" - really?), the film was interspersed with terribly edited clips of wildlife shots, as Morgan Freeman desperately tried to keep the boredom out of his voice while monologuing to an auditorium of students who seemed as disinterested as the audience.



pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004
Im gonna put cupcakes on your mind

I am everywhere

Feb 9, 2007
Good to the last drop

Lucy is a random university student, in a random asian country, Taiwan maybe? I don't loving know, who is randomly injected into a smuggling operation for a new mind expanding drug being slipped into Europe. Things go wrong, yada, yada, yada and Scarlett Johannson ends up becoming an all powerful super goddess. The film takes what Limitless started with (remember that old thoroughly disproven adage about how humans only use 10% of their brains? This ENTIRE movie is based off that one crap line) and shits all over it. The difference? Where Limitless still remained grounded in reality, Lucy has the protagonist flinging people around with telekinsis, changing her hair color/length on the fly, and scaring drug dogs shitless by looking at them. In short reality took a loving smoke with this movie, then decided to just get high instead.

She spends the first 10 to 15 minutes crying and whining about the situation she's been thrust into and from that point on all semblance of being able to act is GONE. She spends most of the movie (aside from one point where she calls her mother up to tell her she loves her), as an ice cold death machine, dispensing fury and poorly delivered tidbits of musing philosophy in equal parts emotionless. Speaking of ice cold, she kills pretty much anyone even slightly in her way, for no reason. At one point she shoots a patient on a table in a hospital then explains to the doctors why they weren't gonna be able to save the patient anyway. I'm finding it difficult to even guess at a protagonist from a movie I like less than this chick.

Did I mention this bitch walks through this movie like she phoned it in from the studio parking lot? Holy hell. Do you remember that godawful remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, that Keanu Reeves was so loving perfect in because it only required the lead star to display no loving emotions whatsoever:

Director: "Just stand here and say your lines, then get paid and go home."
Keanu Reeves: "Ok boss."

That is this movie x10. Not a total disppointment, some of the effects are kinda cool, I guess, but definitely not one I would waste money again or would have to begin with if I had known. On the plus side, if there is one, the car chase scene where she flips cars and probably kills alot of people wasn't bad as car chases go.

Satone fucked around with this message at Jul 28, 2014 around 05:24

Baron Bifford
May 24, 2006
Can't post for 3109 days!

In the first 15 minutes of the film, Lucy (played by Scarlett Johansson) is a somewhat interesting person, who is ensnared in a criminal plot by her slimy boyfriend. Then, she takes a drug which slowly transforms her into an emotionally-flat superhuman who spouts embarrassingly bad philosophical musings. Perhaps Luc Besson wanted to make her like Dr Manhattan, but the movie Lucy is in is nowhere as emotionally or intellectually deep as The Watchmen.

There isn't much of a plot either. It's mostly a bunch of action sequences poorly strung together. We don't really know who the Korean villains in the film are or what they want or why they are so desperate to get their drugs back that they are willing to pick fights with cops. We don't really know what the heroine Lucy wants either, other than some vague desire to "pass on what she has learned".

2/5 - Meh

Arglebargle III
Feb 21, 2006

Embarrassingly bad scifi logic, embarrassingly bad screenplay; embarrassing because I went into it not knowing it was Luc Besson and now I feel embarrassed for him. Most characters and scenes exist only to prod the audience to see how cool the author/creator's tired idea is: a badass woman with what can only be called magic powers killing poorly sketched adversaries or just random people with equally sketchy justification. The entertainment value of Scarlet Johannsen trying to act like an increasingly crippled autistic person (though her character's descent into inhumanity is riddled with inconsistent writing and direction) doesn't make up for the rest of the film. First movie I've ever walked out on.

I know this has been out for a while but I needed to vent.


Arglebargle III fucked around with this message at Nov 1, 2014 around 14:06

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

I enjoyed how unsubtle the movie was at times. Lucy's boyfriend tries to convince her to do something shifty for bullshit reasons? A leopard stalks his prey. Lucy reaches the next level of brain-capacity-usage? A huge "60%" flashes at the screen. I applaud Besson for treating his audience like the Fake Stetson-wearing guy from the beginning, and other than that I thought the movie was just OK.


Bast Relief
Feb 21, 2006

by exmarx

Enter the Void was incredibly exhausting for me, but now I know what it would have been like if it was less exhausting and had an action movie plot shoehorned into it. The ending of Lucy borrowed from 2001: Space Odessy as well with a string of images from space as well as some scenes that are supposed to convey something deep and esoteric.

But so what if the movie it fails to be as spiritually deep as the concepts it uses as a foil? Well, it doesn't do stupid action very well either. Lucy, even at her lowest level of enlightenment, can kick everyone's rear end so nothing is exciting at all. I have zero idea what the function of Morgan Freeman was to the plot. His useless character was really just a narrator telling you exactly what was happening to Lucy's mind, when it might have been more interesting to leave that out.

I liked Her better, which doesn't illustrate how much I liked Her, which was a lot.

2.5/5 The graphics were pretty and at least there were some philosophical ideas, but they were handled ineptly.

Hitlers Gay Secret
Mar 7, 2010

The Third Reich's under new -- and better -- management.

Hasn't word reached Camp Pendleton yet?

College Slice

Another lovely ScarJo movie.


Dr. Killjoy
Oct 9, 2012

Scarlet Johannsen kills all the bad dudes and goes all Akira at the end and becomes the monolith from Space Odyssey.

5/5 can't wait for the sequel.

Sep 16, 2002


Scarlett Johannson is apparently the apex of human evolution.


Dr. Yinz Ljubljana
Nov 25, 2013

2018 Recipient : "Doctors Without Condoms" Lifetime Achievement Award

Luc Besson attempts to get high-concept sci-fi on us, but it falls flat on its face.

ScoJo is great in the opening but as she ascends to godlike status all conflict in the movie drops away.

even when she's dissolving on the airplane, a few seconds later - nope, fine, let's roll.

there were several times when i thought, "ok, here comes the Fifth Element thing where it inverts tropes." and then i remembered Fifth Element was not all that inventive it was just funny and cool enough to distract you from its flaws.

i wanted to like this. i wanted it so hard. but alas.



Oct 13, 2015

Just peramene.

I really wanted to like this one because I love ScarJo and Freeman and thought everybody complaining about the whole "we don't actually use that little of our brain" nonsense like it wasn't fiction were totally talking out of their rear end. But what I really want to focus on is the soundtrack - it's the showstealer here. I found myself humming bits of it on the way out of the theater and I've been streaming it off and on ever since whenever I needed some inspiration. ScarJo is adorable and great as always, Freeman loving delivers, the plot is pretty generic with a cliche as hell ending that's been done a billion times. Watch out for the scene in the airplane seat if you have anxiety about your teeth though, I had nightmares. 3.5

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