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MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Sarcasmatron posted:

Salary negotiations is another recurring one that pops up every 2-3 pages. This is the one I've recommended in the last two Working in IT threads, the LI thread, and the Stairmasters LI group:

http://www.kalzumeus.com/2012/01/23/salary-negotiation/
It's a great article, but yelling "SIX FIGGA BEEYOTCH" is a lot more effective than you might imagine, so just remember there are a few approaches here.

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MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


I'm not one of those people who farts because ha ha farting is funny - I'm 32, come on bro.

That said, losing track of mute-unmute-mute-unmute-mute-unmute on a conference call and letting one fly, only to then realize that you're unmuted, oh thank god IT is a man's world, otherwise I might have to feel shame.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Not to break your stride, but just because the recruiter may like you doesn't mean you get the job - there's still the rounds of interviews. If you're on helpdesk now, just being realistic, you're not going to catapult to a senior admin role.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Architect
Engineer
Administrator
Analyst (this role can be a more senior position but is tainted by all the entry level analyst positions)
Technician

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Wear a suit to an interview because you are not 17 years old.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


I have to unrack 4 DL580s by myself and ship them to another datacenter. I can lift that much weight but I can't even begin to imagine how I am doing this. Does anyone have suggestions? I can probably de-rack them onto the pallet jack or whatever they call those hydraulic jobs in the datacenter, but even that is tenuous. After that, I have to get them from the datacenter to FedEx, in the back of a Civic. I can't even fathom lifting a DL580 into a Civic without ruining every corner of the server and every bit of paint. Anyone have suggestions?

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


skipdogg posted:

Don't even try a 580. It's not safe. I can rack a fully loaded 380 by myself but those 580's can push 80 pounds. There's a reason those have handles (at least mine do) Unless you have one of those rack assist machines it's just not smart. Bring a strong friend.

Seriously it's not worth hurting yourself
No I mean, that's what I'm saying, I can't do this by myself, so like, what is my play here? I do have one of those rack assist machines, but that only allowed me to rack it initially. Unracking it and shipping it, I have no idea how this is doable.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


I'm re-reading my original post and I'm realizing that yeah, me post lovely. I didn't make clear that the problem was that I didn't think it was possible - my post comes across as though I'm asking for suggestions on which corners to hold as I carry this thing to Fedex on foot.

Che Delilas posted:

What's stopping you from telling whoever is in charge the truth of the situation?
There in lies the problem. I am in charge - this poo poo does need to get sent to another datacenter. I just don't know how. I suppose I'll need to hire professional services - I'll need two guys and a lot of padding.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


For those of us who work a little quicker, is there a better gift than Outlook's delay delivery? My god do I love doing 8 hours worth of work in some subset of that, while setting emails to fire off throughout the day at appropriate times to show how hard I am working.

I also want to make clear that this is a parody post and I would never do such a thing.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Misogynist posted:

Delay delivery is actually awesome for dealing with people who are really lovely at responding to emails that arrive while they're not at their desk.
Absolutely - in truth I tend to use it for this a bit more. I had a few emails I could have sent right at the end of the day today, but instead they're sitting in my outbox right now with delivery times all ranging between 8:30 and 10am.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Tonight is the first production code deployment in over two years that I am not a part of. The guys who are handling it are fine - a new guy with a solid baseline of knowledge, and the guy who trained me, so it's not like they're going to struggle. Still, I feel like I'm missing a limb or something, someone hold me.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


They're 80 minutes into the deployment, I am secretly listening, and poo poo is hosed all to pieces. I'm taking a personal day through September.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Dilbert As gently caress posted:

He said he had an associates, that is a degree last I checked.
"A degree" is a bachelor's degree. Anything else is referred to by its title unless the person is a) hoping you don't notice their inflation or b) exercising false humility.

Having a degree is always better than not having a degree, I don't know how this is ever a topic. Anything you can put on your resume is better than not having that thing on your resume.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


I think this is the last time I play a drinking game on a conference call, hoo boy.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Endorsements are the greatest thing ever invented. I've barely touched my LinkedIn profile as many of you who fell victim to my mass-buddying can attest. I've never added skill to my profile, but I get endorsed for random IT poo poo by random IT shits. I am, apparently, an industry leader in technologies such as IIS, VPN and Sharepoint.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


H.R. Paperstacks posted:

You can be a DoD employee/contractor and hold no security clearance and you are still required to meet 8570 requirements.
I can't imagine meeting 8,570 different requirements, that much be such an exhausting checklist.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Thanks Ants posted:



Also MC Fruit Stripe's posts seem to detail a slow descent into anarchy.
I've come unmuzzled.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


IT chat: we're all hideously out of shape, some of you are downright ugly, and all of us need to exercise more. Who's with me on a vague, non-committal promise to do something about it?

I only mention it because I just biked (a small number of) miles and I think I'm just going to lay down and die if that's okay.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


SSH IT ZOMBIE posted:

Basically, bad end. New leadership hates virtualization. Good luck with that, we have over 1000 VMs...

But I just work here
1. Eeeeep. Is that even a valid thing to hate?

2. I've become the embodiment of that attitude. Tonight I was asked which of two code issues I was more concerned about. Concerned? I'm concerned about negotiating a two state solution and getting St. Vincent to worry more about her music than her stage presence. I'm not concerned about code issues at all, someone call me when it's fixed, I'm going to dinner.

MC Fruit Stripe fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Aug 21, 2014

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Yesterday I asked two senior sys admins to figure out what we need for a particular environment, get quotes, and buy it. They seemed confused by this, in a way that told me they thought it was beneath them. I pressed a little bit and one of them stated that they haven't done that in a long time.

Am I living my life backwards? I thought that was a more senior task, being able to identify what's needed for a project, and then run with it without any further intervention. Their reactions were as though I'd just asked them to man the helpdesk for a little bit.

Is buying stuff now a job for your newest sys admin or something?

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Congratulations on your job! Also that is a hilarious response to a hilarious question. And to put your mind at ease...

Loten posted:

going from a job title of Senior Sys Eng to Sys Eng, but apparently "we don't have seniors" so that won't change
it turns out that you can call yourself any drat thing you want on a resume because no one anywhere cares, so good on ya, senior systems engineer Loten!

---
edit: My own entertainment for myself. I was walking a new guy through a process which required him to send information to one of our vendors, so I gave him 4 pieces of information to tell the vendor, but item #1 was:
1. You're new, stupid, and doing only what MC Fruit Stripe told you to do.

I slay me.

MC Fruit Stripe fucked around with this message at 08:11 on Aug 28, 2014

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Fiendish Dr. Wu posted:

And sometimes companies only hire by way of recruiters.
Which just seems shockingly expensive to me (my company is one of these companies).

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


It took me a long time to realize that I need to care about my title, because while I don't care about my title, other people do.

Junior helpdesk tech? Yeah why don't you shave about 2k off that salary and make that "senior virtualization engineer" or something, because I want this job, but I want a next job too.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


I'm taking a rare "full" day off - full meaning, I don't even have my phone syncing emails, Outlook is closed, and my home VOIP is set to do not disturb. I'm gone, I'm out, find someone else. However, my boss asked if we could have a quick phone call at 9am. Okay, that's fine. And my boss, knowing how I value my time and what I think of people who can't read clocks, called me at precisely 9am. You've got to respect that.

Except he was calling to let me know he's giving notice today. Son of a bitch. I love working with and for this guy, because he does what a boss needs to do - provides cover, shelters me from the bullshit, listens to my hairbrained schemes to spend company money, and then lets me execute. I don't know who they're going to bring in, but I know that it's not going to be what it was.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Even if we knew better and share in our collective lack of surprise, I hope this puts a massive dent in Oracle's pocketbook*.

* - Sidebar, I almost didn't say pocketbook because I don't know if this is even a word anymore. Also, why did "billfold" fall out of use? What a fantastic word. The truly important matters of the day.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


In this thread we're spending our day documenting, documenting, documenting.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Awesome.

My boss gave his notice, but is also willing to listen to counter offers. If they give him enough money, he'll stay.

What my poor boss's boss doesn't know is that if my boss doesn't stay, and I'm expected to pick up the slack, he will immediately receive from me, my new salary demands.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Zero VGS posted:

I purchase $10,000 worth of equipment on eBay every month for years with my own credit card
That's going to go great until the one time it doesn't, oh my god.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


A video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJ6yqQRAQs

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Man makes 6 figures, still has to tip toe with psycho boss.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


You're never see anything beyond your base salary.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Snipping a couple of RJ45s and making crossover console cables tomorrow. First time I've made a cable in, oh bout 9 years. I sucked at it then, let's see how 9 years off has done me.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Did 80 per week suddenly become a lot? Because that seems like a shockingly low amount to spend on food.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


I don't even understand - a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts is $9 by itself, how are you keeping your food budgets so low? You guys must be drinking less Mountain Dew than me or something.

My wife and I spend about $1,000/mo on food - need to damned eat out less. (that said I'm having Torchy's Tacos for lunch today and it's gonna be amazing)

MC Fruit Stripe fucked around with this message at 17:21 on Sep 4, 2014

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Does anyone have experience in human cloning, DNA replication, etc? I've got a new sys admin on my team, he's been here probably 3 months. I wish I could plant a whole field of him.

I'm thinking of holding a team meeting in which I scream "why aren't you Aaron" in everyone's face in turn.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Complete the breeding pair - are you hitting on me?

That said, you are right, way to replicate, DNA.

MC Fruit Stripe fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Sep 5, 2014

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


e: double post.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


We have a flat organizational structure. That said, if we can imagine a hierarchy, you would drat sure be near the bottom of it. Therefore, when an email comes in to our team's distribution group, you do not have the authority to reply 30 minutes later asking who is "taking ownership of this request". We will get to it when we get to it. If the speed at which your own team works is a problem for you, you should do some of the work yourself. Further, when you then add a CC for our boss, and our boss's boss, you just look like a dick.

Is there any way for me to phrase this email which doesn't cause me more trouble than its worth?

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Cisco rep took me out to an expensive meal, which was a wonderful gesture until I remembered that it's coming out of their margin. "Here, have a little bit of what you overpaid us back."

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MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go


Tab8715 posted:

I find it a little hard to believe they have nothing on-site, how are they authenticating to whatever's hosted? I'd be a little surprised if they aren't on a domain, but maybe they aren't.
Site2site VPN dat beeyotch -> CLOUD

Switch, router, firewall, shared key, das internet, firewall, router, switch, domain controller be like, "sup"

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