Who wants to go on a date with the drillster?

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joke_explainer

I kind of hope the producers would give drilldo a free hand and money to craft the kind of dates he thinks of as perfect. Like the first 3 episodes can be original dates he funds himself, then they give him a little bit more as they go down the season. Never give him any ideas or anything. Eventually, very extravagant dates near the series finale.

Drilldo what kind of date would you send people on if you had 1000 bucks you had to spend that night on it?

joke_explainer fucked around with this message at 01:02 on Jul 30, 2014

# ? Jul 30, 2014 00:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 18, 2024 02:09

Pinche Rudo

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

same. I need to be wooed.

You rang?

# ? Jul 30, 2014 00:46

ass

# ? Jul 30, 2014 00:48

pig slut lisa: irl is good

Classicist posted:

byob loves to hate him... but what how will they react when they're asked to date him?? *cut to close up of horrified looking girl. spring sound effect plays* find out tonight on "Who wants to go on a date with the drillster"

is this like "blind date" and there are gonna be wacky pop-ups?

# ? Jul 30, 2014 01:20

posting smiling

pig slut lisa posted:

is this like "blind date" and there are gonna be wacky pop-ups?

i've abstained from watching other reality dating shows to keep my creative vision pure.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 01:24

pig slut lisa: irl is good

Classicist posted:

i've abstained from watching other reality dating shows to keep my creative vision pure.

you're missing out

# ? Jul 30, 2014 01:28

Awesome!: Ready for adventure!

i would like to sign up to be "drilled" by the drillster

# ? Jul 30, 2014 01:30

im cute

Is this still happening?

I am ready to date now.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 01:59

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Mike Maddux posted:

a curvy goonette. She's pretty, but probably has terrible opinions

# ? Jul 30, 2014 02:38

thewizardofshoe

but will your drilldo make me squirt?

# ? Jul 30, 2014 04:00

bwatts

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

but probably has terrible opinions

# ? Jul 30, 2014 04:06

Pinche Rudo

Drilldo, our date will start out with a couple of really nice drinks. I have an old fashioned, you get a rye manhattan. We have dinner, we order a couple of appetizers: seared foie gras and the pancetta crepe. I get the pork roast, you get the duck. We have a few glasses of a really good, earthy Cabernet. End it with dessert: panna cotta. We decide to walk off that amazing dinner in the park, holding hands. I point out a really funny rock shaped like a penis. We walk over and get closer. I tell you to squat next to the rock for a picture. I playfully push you over and you fall on your butt. We laugh. I pick up the rock, I start making funny gestures with it. You're cracking up at this point, rolling around on the ground with tears in your eyes. I stand over you, smiling. I grip the rock with both hands. I drive it down with all my force into your face. Your nose and upper mandible break. You let out a scream, gurgling as the blood fills your mouth. I bring the rock down again, smashing your orbital bone and blinding you in one eye. You realize in horror what is happening. I continue to smash you in the head with the rock, over and over again until nothing is left of your skull but a pink slurry dotted with brain matter. I drag your body up out of sight. I bury it up on the hill, in some rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it. I clean off and return to my car. I am unable to contain myself. I furiously masturbate.

The perfect first date

# ? Jul 30, 2014 04:30

FluffieDuckie

Colonel Wood posted:

Drilldo, our date will start out with a couple of really nice drinks. I have an old fashioned, you get a rye manhattan. We have dinner, we order a couple of appetizers: seared foie gras and the pancetta crepe. I get the pork roast, you get the duck. We have a few glasses of a really good, earthy Cabernet. End it with dessert: panna cotta. We decide to walk off that amazing dinner in the park, holding hands. I point out a really funny rock shaped like a penis. We walk over and get closer. I tell you to squat next to the rock for a picture. I playfully push you over and you fall on your butt. We laugh. I pick up the rock, I start making funny gestures with it. You're cracking up at this point, rolling around on the ground with tears in your eyes. I stand over you, smiling. I grip the rock with both hands. I drive it down with all my force into your face. Your nose and upper mandible break. You let out a scream, gurgling as the blood fills your mouth. I bring the rock down again, smashing your orbital bone and blinding you in one eye. You realize in horror what is happening. I continue to smash you in the head with the rock, over and over again until nothing is left of your skull but a pink slurry dotted with brain matter. I drag your body up out of sight. I bury it up on the hill, in some rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it. I clean off and return to my car. I am unable to contain myself. I furiously masturbate.

The perfect first date

# ? Jul 30, 2014 05:13

I Dunno

Colonel Wood posted:

Drilldo, our date will start out with a couple of really nice drinks. I have an old fashioned, you get a rye manhattan. We have dinner, we order a couple of appetizers: seared foie gras and the pancetta crepe. I get the pork roast, you get the duck. We have a few glasses of a really good, earthy Cabernet. End it with dessert: panna cotta. We decide to walk off that amazing dinner in the park, holding hands. I point out a really funny rock shaped like a penis. We walk over and get closer. I tell you to squat next to the rock for a picture. I playfully push you over and you fall on your butt. We laugh. I pick up the rock, I start making funny gestures with it. You're cracking up at this point, rolling around on the ground with tears in your eyes. I stand over you, smiling. I grip the rock with both hands. I drive it down with all my force into your face. Your nose and upper mandible break. You let out a scream, gurgling as the blood fills your mouth. I bring the rock down again, smashing your orbital bone and blinding you in one eye. You realize in horror what is happening. I continue to smash you in the head with the rock, over and over again until nothing is left of your skull but a pink slurry dotted with brain matter. I drag your body up out of sight. I bury it up on the hill, in some rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it. I clean off and return to my car. I am unable to contain myself. I furiously masturbate.

The perfect first date

that's, uh, very interesting colonel wood. thank you for sharing. :stare:

# ? Jul 30, 2014 05:17

Afro Doug

Hhrrrmm... Yes... I've now given up on dating altogether.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 05:42

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Colonel Wood posted:

Drilldo, our date will start out with a couple of really nice drinks. I have an old fashioned, you get a rye manhattan. We have dinner, we order a couple of appetizers: seared foie gras and the pancetta crepe. I get the pork roast, you get the duck. We have a few glasses of a really good, earthy Cabernet. End it with dessert: panna cotta. We decide to walk off that amazing dinner in the park, holding hands. I point out a really funny rock shaped like a penis. We walk over and get closer. I tell you to squat next to the rock for a picture. I playfully push you over and you fall on your butt. We laugh. I pick up the rock, I start making funny gestures with it. You're cracking up at this point, rolling around on the ground with tears in your eyes. I stand over you, smiling. I grip the rock with both hands. I drive it down with all my force into your face. Your nose and upper mandible break. You let out a scream, gurgling as the blood fills your mouth. I bring the rock down again, smashing your orbital bone and blinding you in one eye. You realize in horror what is happening. I continue to smash you in the head with the rock, over and over again until nothing is left of your skull but a pink slurry dotted with brain matter. I drag your body up out of sight. I bury it up on the hill, in some rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it. I clean off and return to my car. I am unable to contain myself. I furiously masturbate.

The perfect first date

I guass that wraps that up for ol' drilldo

# ? Jul 30, 2014 05:53

Barco Fiesta: a fantasy of olives

Colonel Wood posted:

Drilldo, our date will start out with a couple of really nice drinks. I have an old fashioned, you get a rye manhattan. We have dinner, we order a couple of appetizers: seared foie gras and the pancetta crepe. I get the pork roast, you get the duck. We have a few glasses of a really good, earthy Cabernet. End it with dessert: panna cotta. We decide to walk off that amazing dinner in the park, holding hands. I point out a really funny rock shaped like a penis. We walk over and get closer. I tell you to squat next to the rock for a picture. I playfully push you over and you fall on your butt. We laugh. I pick up the rock, I start making funny gestures with it. You're cracking up at this point, rolling around on the ground with tears in your eyes. I stand over you, smiling. I grip the rock with both hands. I drive it down with all my force into your face. Your nose and upper mandible break. You let out a scream, gurgling as the blood fills your mouth. I bring the rock down again, smashing your orbital bone and blinding you in one eye. You realize in horror what is happening. I continue to smash you in the head with the rock, over and over again until nothing is left of your skull but a pink slurry dotted with brain matter. I drag your body up out of sight. I bury it up on the hill, in some rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it. I clean off and return to my car. I am unable to contain myself. I furiously masturbate.

The perfect first date

same

# ? Jul 30, 2014 06:58

cuntman.net

Colonel Wood posted:

Drilldo, our date will start out with a couple of really nice drinks. I have an old fashioned, you get a rye manhattan. We have dinner, we order a couple of appetizers: seared foie gras and the pancetta crepe. I get the pork roast, you get the duck. We have a few glasses of a really good, earthy Cabernet. End it with dessert: panna cotta. We decide to walk off that amazing dinner in the park, holding hands. I point out a really funny rock shaped like a penis. We walk over and get closer. I tell you to squat next to the rock for a picture. I playfully push you over and you fall on your butt. We laugh. I pick up the rock, I start making funny gestures with it. You're cracking up at this point, rolling around on the ground with tears in your eyes. I stand over you, smiling. I grip the rock with both hands. I drive it down with all my force into your face. Your nose and upper mandible break. You let out a scream, gurgling as the blood fills your mouth. I bring the rock down again, smashing your orbital bone and blinding you in one eye. You realize in horror what is happening. I continue to smash you in the head with the rock, over and over again until nothing is left of your skull but a pink slurry dotted with brain matter. I drag your body up out of sight. I bury it up on the hill, in some rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it. I clean off and return to my car. I am unable to contain myself. I furiously masturbate.

The perfect first date

i guess that means i cant date him then

# ? Jul 30, 2014 07:05

pig slut lisa: irl is good

Colonel Wood posted:

rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it.

and they say chivalry is dead :unsmith:

# ? Jul 30, 2014 07:25

cuntman.net

pig slut lisa posted:

and they say chivalry is dead

thats not the only thing they say that about

# ? Jul 30, 2014 09:23

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Classicist posted:

byob loves to hate him... but what how will they react when they're asked to date him?? *cut to close up of horrified looking girl. spring sound effect plays* find out tonight on "Who wants to go on a date with the drillster"

# ? Jul 30, 2014 12:12

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Afro Doug posted:

I had a wonderful time on my date with drilldo squirt, I hope all of you do as well.

Hey.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 12:13

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Mike Maddux posted:

I suddenly have things to do.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 12:14

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Dennis Rasmussen posted:

I kind of hope the producers would give drilldo a free hand and money to craft the kind of dates he thinks of as perfect. Like the first 3 episodes can be original dates he funds himself, then they give him a little bit more as they go down the season. Never give him any ideas or anything. Eventually, very extravagant dates near the series finale.

Drilldo what kind of date would you send people on if you had 1000 bucks you had to spend that night on it?

I would go to my friend the weed dealer and buy alot of weed then we would go back to my place to watch episodes of star trek for the next 8 hours.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 12:15

ulvir

Colonel Wood posted:

Drilldo, our date will start out with a couple of really nice drinks. I have an old fashioned, you get a rye manhattan. We have dinner, we order a couple of appetizers: seared foie gras and the pancetta crepe. I get the pork roast, you get the duck. We have a few glasses of a really good, earthy Cabernet. End it with dessert: panna cotta. We decide to walk off that amazing dinner in the park, holding hands. I point out a really funny rock shaped like a penis. We walk over and get closer. I tell you to squat next to the rock for a picture. I playfully push you over and you fall on your butt. We laugh. I pick up the rock, I start making funny gestures with it. You're cracking up at this point, rolling around on the ground with tears in your eyes. I stand over you, smiling. I grip the rock with both hands. I drive it down with all my force into your face. Your nose and upper mandible break. You let out a scream, gurgling as the blood fills your mouth. I bring the rock down again, smashing your orbital bone and blinding you in one eye. You realize in horror what is happening. I continue to smash you in the head with the rock, over and over again until nothing is left of your skull but a pink slurry dotted with brain matter. I drag your body up out of sight. I bury it up on the hill, in some rocky soil deep enough so the animals don't get it. I clean off and return to my car. I am unable to contain myself. I furiously masturbate.

The perfect first date

# ? Jul 30, 2014 12:48

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?