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jarvis cocker
Dec 16, 2007

by Lowtax
ability to morph into hair gel

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jarvis cocker
Dec 16, 2007

by Lowtax
ability to shut down all wi-fi within a mile radius at will

jarvis cocker
Dec 16, 2007

by Lowtax
every neighborhood you pass through is instantly gentrified

jarvis cocker
Dec 16, 2007

by Lowtax
you can turn a carls jr into a hardees and vice versa

jarvis cocker
Dec 16, 2007

by Lowtax
ability to telepathically convert VHS to laserdisc

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jarvis cocker
Dec 16, 2007

by Lowtax
you always have a pack of cigarettes but they're pall malls and even hobos refuse them

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