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King of Internet
Nov 16, 2013

High King Internet of Internet


Method 1 of 7: In a SKIRT (Correct method):

1
Find a spot as out of sight as possible. Turn away from other people if possible.
2
Place your legs slightly apart. A small space between your feet is best.
3
Pull your underwear up tight, either through the fabric of your skirt or reaching up underneath. Practice will show you how tight this needs to be. (See tips below)
4
Do not continue to hold your underwear once you have pulled it up tight, as this will be obvious.
5
Squat down on your heels. Remember to keep the back of your skirt out of the way.
6
Tilt your pelvis forward. You want to make the crotch of your underwear the lowest point.
7
Urinate hard (quickly) through your underwear. The less time you take to do this, the less your urine will spread in the fabric. (See tips below)
8
When finished, just stand up and calmly walk away. Your underwear will dry quickly if you allow air to get to it and will not smell bad when it's dry, if at all.

Method 2 of 7: In a SKIRT (Alternative method):

1
Note that this is not strictly a courtesy pee as you will need to expose yourself, and is much too obvious, where a courtesy pee is meant to avoid that. This alternative method is also too conditional on type of clothing, however for those who are more comfortable with it, it is presented here as an alternative.




2
Find a spot as out of sight as possible. Turn away from other people if possible.




3
Place your legs slightly apart. A small space between your feet is the best.




4
Reach up under your skirt and slide your underwear to one side leaving a gap from where you can urinate.




5
Alternatively, pull your underwear down, still making sure that your skirt covers you up. It is preferred to wear a longer skirt which will give more privacy.

Method 3 of 7: Standing Courtesy Pee

1
Alternative method, if wearing a skirt. A discrete standing courtesy pee can be achieved for those who don't mind wet legs and want to really avoid looking like they're urinating.
2
Stand discretely against a wall. Put your back against it and your legs together.
3
Tilt your pelvis forward. You want the crotch of your underwear to the rear and the lowest point.
4
Bend your legs a little forward. Position yourself in a slight crouch.
5
Urinate SLOWLY through your underwear. A trickle will not make too much sound or fuss.
6
Keep your legs forward. The urine should fall behind them but they may get wet.
7
When finished, walk calmly away. Your underwear will be wetter because of peeing slowly, but will just take longer to dry.

Method 4 of 7: In JEANS, SHORTS or PANTS:

1
Find a discrete position (if possible with your back to a wall). Pull down your jeans, shorts or pants to just below your crotch.
2
Pull your underwear up hard. Practice this at home or wherever you get the chance. (See explanations below)
3
Squat down on your heels as before. Check that the back of your pants is clear of the crotch of your underwear and any urine flow or drips that may fall.
4
Tilt your pelvis. Again, you want the crotch of your underwear to be the lowest point.
5
Urinate hard through the your underwear.
6
When finished, wait a few seconds for the flow to subside to drips or a trickle, pull up your pants and stand up in one smooth movement, fasten and walk away calmly.
7
The crotch of your jeans or shorts will get damp from your wet underwear but will dry.
8
It may be that you can't lower your pants to urinate. In this case you may make the decision to perform your courtesy pee through your pants. Surprisingly, this can still be accomplished with minimal damage.
9
If you are wearing tight underwear and jeans or pants that are tight in the crotch this will help. If you are NOT wearing tight jeans, pants or shorts, simply pull them up tight into your crotch. Practice this at home (see below)
10
Place your feet slightly apart as before, then squat on your heels.
11
Keep your THIGHS PRESSED TIGHTLY TOGETHER as you urinate through the crotch and seat of your underwear and pants.
12
The urine may run back and wet the seat of your pants but if you do it right, should not be visible from the front when you stand up. Your pants will take longer to dry and will smell a little more.
13
When you are finished, wait as long as possible for the urine to drain, then simply stand up and calmly walk away. If you do not wait long enough, the excess urine will run down the backs of your legs which is to be avoided.

Method 5 of 7: On a bush walk in LOOSE shorts:

1
A quick courtesy pee can be performed to avoid being caught by passers-by.
2
Leave your shorts ON. This allows for a quick coverup and getaway.
3
Pull the leg of your shorts to one side, making an unobstructed gap down one leg.
4
Pee through the crotch of your underwear down the open leg of your shorts.
5
If the urine spreads in your underwear your shorts will get very wet. If you feel this happening, stop, take off your shorts and complete the courtesy pee in just your underwear.

Method 6 of 7: In a SWIMSUIT or NYLON RUNNING SHORTS

1
Perform the courtesy pee in your swimsuit or running shorts by simply squatting on your heels and urinating through them.
2
When performing a courtesy pee in a swimsuit, it is not necessary to squat but this is the best way to minimise the damage to just your crotch and not end up soaked if you wish to avoid that.
3
Determine what position would be best for your situation. If appropriate, urinate without shifting from your current position. This will draw the least attention.

Method 7 of 7: If you have no choice:

1
When all else fails, you know you will have to pee your pants. Don't leave it until the last second and you end up soaked.
2
Make it a conscious decision. Be sure to CHOOSE the manner in which you pee your pants and do it intentionally. The more choice you have the better. There is almost no situation where you cannot choose to perform a courtesy pee of some sort and get away with as little embarrassment as possible.


Tips

Even when dry, a courtesy pee can be performed in your swimsuit simply by urinating through the crotch of your swimsuit.
Swimsuits are designed to be wet. It is not unusual to see a wet crotch in an otherwise dry swimsuit. Sometimes this is actually just water....
It is not necessary to urinate hard through your swimsuit unless you want to, as the urine will not spread appreciably.
Running shorts are often wet with sweat and in the case of serious athletes, urine, from urinating as they run. Running shorts are designed to be wet with sweat and urine and with practice you can urinate through them discretely while you run.
Some running shorts are often manufactured with a minimal brief inside them and these are designed specifically to allow rapid transfer of moisture but only if you don't wear underwear with them. You may still choose to wear underwear if you find you prefer the feeling of urinating through them, or in the case of running shorts that don't have a built-in brief.
Choose TINY underwear (bikini brief, string bikini) for wearing under running shorts but NOT a thong for sanitary and health reasons.
When you perform a courtesy pee in your running shorts and you are wearing underwear under them, it will spread the urine more, but the shorts will dry quickly, so there is no harm in doing it again and again.
Drink plenty of water while running (not excessively) whenever you are thirsty to keep well hydrated and know that you can urinate as many times as you like.
How tight to have your underwear and/or pants is a matter of trial and error. You will need to experiment to get this right and the first couple of times you probably will soak your underwear and/or pants.
Have a bit of fun practicing at home in the bathroom to get it right before you try it in public.
One very positive aspect to practicing courtesy pees is that you will remain well hydrated.
Be prepared to have a lot of washing, but if you do it right, you can do it without making too much of a mess. You may enjoy it so much that you don't really mind!
If you don't think you will be comfortable pulling down your jeans or pants to perform your courtesy pee, you will need to urinate through them instead.
Consider wearing a very tight pair of jeans, the thinner the material the better. This will minimize the damage by restricting the spreading inside them and forcing the urine straight through your underwear and the crotch of your jeans. If they are not tight enough, your urine will spread inside them soaking both your underwear and your jeans and be very obvious.
When performing a courtesy pee through jeans or shorts with luck (and practice!) there should be nothing visible from the front and only a small discrete wet patch on the seat of your pants. People may wonder but they won't be able to tell for sure. As long as it's not too obvious, they can't really tell.
For obvious reasons you can't wear pads of any form, as these obstruct the flow of urine through your underwear. They will not absorb most of your urine and will overflow to the sides, front and back, making a big mess.
Surprisingly, courtesy pees are often easier to disguise in large crowds. There is too much else going on and nobody is expecting you to be urinating. Take advantage of this.
Sometimes it can be difficult to begin urinating (even when desperate) because your subconscious knows that you are in public. This is called a "shy bladder".
When this happens, you are left squatting aimlessly for several minutes and people may have begun to notice you.
To overcome this, practice by going outside in the middle of the night when it is dark and performing a courtesy pee in front of your house.
Courtesy pees can be performed by a group of women, particularly in skirts, and are best done in a tight circle with everyone facing the center of the circle. Then only the others in the circle can see each other peeing their pants. Watching each other pee their pants can have the added advantage of minimising the difficulties of "shy bladders".
Courtesy pees can be performed almost anywhere, but the aim is to always minimize the damage and hide the actual urination itself.
Choose the type of courtesy pee for the clothing you are wearing and the nature of your surroundings.
A courtesy pee where you have to expose your underwear can be performed with the aid of a wall to shield you from behind.
It is best to consider the possibility you might need to perform a courtesy pee when getting dressed. For instance, wearing underwear with a thin lining in the crotch will help, particularly if you are wearing jeans, shorts or pants over them.
Underwear with a thick crotch will probably get thoroughly soaked. Some people enjoy this. If you discover that you like soaking your underwear, you may prefer to wear skirts.
If you are wearing a skirt, any underwear will do, but a thinner crotch will dry quicker.
It's important to avoid wetting any more than just the crotch of your underwear when you have to pull on pants back over them.
The harder you urinate through your underwear, the less time the urine has to spread. Urinating hard through thin underwear minimizes the chance of urine spreading to the seat of your underwear. However, urinating hard through tight underwear with a thick crotch will feel better but will likely completely soak your underwear. Therefore if you find yourself needing to urinate through tight thick underwear under a skirt, try to urinate slowly.

Warnings

Public urination in many jurisdictions is an offence.
It is very important not to be obviously urinating when you perform a courtesy pee. (But that's part of the purpose of a courtesy pee...)
DO NOT urinate through your jeans STANDING UP. While it is possible to minimise the wetness to just the crotch, it is far more likely that it will run down the legs, completely soaking them. This will make it obvious you have been urinating in your jeans which may attract much unwanted attention.
If you practice the skills of courtesy pees at home, you may find yourself doing it more than just for practice as for some it is not unpleasant. If so you will be better at it when you really need to.
Courtesy peeing can be addictive. If you don't want to find yourself addicted to peeing through your underwear, DON'T START.
The better you get at it the more you will want to do it and your laundry bill will go up.
Your choices of underwear may change to include smaller tighter items that present little impediment to the flow of urine. You may find yourself shopping specifically for underwear you prefer to urinate through.
Don't drink excessive amounts of water in order to pee more often. This can be dangerous to your health.

Things You'll Need

Thin underwear - the thinner the underwear and lining the better, but you may find you prefer it thicker, if you like the feeling.
Tight underwear - the tighter the underwear, the more the urine is forced straight through.
Tampons rather than pads.
Lots of towels to practice on, or just use the bathroom.
Unrestricted access to the laundry. The more you practice this, the more you will want to do it.
Lots of pairs of tight jeans, shorts, pants, etc. Spandex shorts (bike shorts), running shorts and swimsuits are also very good for practicing in as well as performing courtesy pees outdoors. Make sure they are BLACK unless you don't mind getting funny looks.

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Smoking Crow
Feb 13, 2012

*laughs at u*


thanks f plus from three years ago

vyst
Aug 25, 2009





i came so hard

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002



just get a penis

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009


1: whip out penis
2: urinate
3: put penis away (optional)

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004




its pretty cool being able to just whip my dick out and piss on anything anywhere without having to worry about how much piss is soaking into my underwear

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


Turtle Blogger
Mar 16, 2006

My Angel



I hope the lady who wrote that meets me and then we will fall in love :-)

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.


"Urinate hard"

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



ahh yes an open forum on cool strats for 'nating.
my personal favorite is the pocket pisser. just cut a hole inside your pocket and then when you have to pee, just stand next to a trash can and aim out your pocket, so you're getting it right inside the trash can.

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009
"You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

what a lame fetish

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



another cool strat is the cups a plenty.
you gotta wear pants for this one as well. just put a teacup under the lower part of the leg hole of one of your legs and then step your other foot up (briefcase, step, etc.). piss down the pant leg that's on the ground and if you're quick enough and your leg is straight enough the piss should run into the cup without too much soakage.

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.


Why don't they just get one of those She Wee things and pee standing up as the superior male race would do?

brylcreem
Oct 29, 2007

by FactsAreUseless


Someone, somewhere is getting off to this, you just know it.

vyst posted:

i came so hard

:stonklol:

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



the next on my list is the hose holiday.
this is one of my less-preferred methods so keep it in reserve for emergencies only. You need to have a water hose or at least a bucket of water. exclaim "Boy is this a hot day! I want to just COOL OFF FOR THE HOLIDAY" and as you say this start pouring water on your crotch. Just let your piss go at the same time. No one should notice because your pants are getting soaked by normal water anyway.

Cocaine Bear
Nov 4, 2011

ACAB



tldr: don't read.


I blame zeus for this mess.

Highly Unnecessary
Dec 24, 2009



http://www.wikihow.com/Snuggle-With-a-Girl

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



the next one I discovered while cleaning windows.
You need a sponge or a rag for this one. Just stand facing the window and make sure no one's on the other side. Just piss right on the window and start wiping it. Be sure to exclaim "I sure hope the SMELL OF AMMONIA CLEANER is not disturbing anyone" if someone passes behind you.

e: it's called the "WINDOW WASHER'S DELIGHT" btw

NurhacisUrn
Jul 18, 2013

All I can think about is your wife and a horse.
We are working on some SERIOUS SHIT in here.

vyst posted:

i came so hard

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



probably my least favorite strat is the trickle torture. I call it that because it's unpleasant. This is where you cannot risk any piss whatsoever getting out of your clothing so you just piss a little bit and hold the rest until it dries and then piss again. Works best when it's hot, dry, and windy. May make you smell funny.

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.


quote:

Courtesy pees can be performed by a group of women, particularly in skirts, and are best done in a tight circle with everyone facing the center of the circle. Then only the others in the circle can see each other peeing their pants. Watching each other pee their pants can have the added advantage of minimising the difficulties of "shy bladders".

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



mmmmm

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



i am moaning with p leasure

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.


quote:

Courtesy peeing can be addictive. If you don't want to find yourself addicted to peeing through your underwear, DON'T START.

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.


Now there needs to be wikihow on how to hide a boner, because I got a massive one from reading the OP

King of Internet
Nov 16, 2013

High King Internet of Internet


Stex T posted:

Now there needs to be wikihow on how to hide a boner, because I got a massive one from reading the OP

1. Crawl around and act like a cat

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....

King of Internet posted:


4
Reach up under your skirt and slide your underwear to one side leaving a gap from where you can urinate.




lol the longer I look at this photo I get more and more confused what is supposed to be hanging out of her butt/bottom of her skirt? the white thing? it is like her panties are around her ankles but some white stuff is still lingering around her butt zone. It is a tampon or another pair of panties - do girls who courtesy pee their underwear wear two underewards? makes you think

Cocaine Bear
Nov 4, 2011

ACAB



You're all pervs.

Meowbot posted:

lol the longer I look at this photo I get more and more confused what is supposed to be hanging out of her butt/bottom of her skirt? the white thing? it is like her panties are around her ankles but some white stuff is still lingering around her butt zone. It is a tampon or another pair of panties - do girls who courtesy pee their underwear wear two underewards? makes you think

You're just a loving dolt.

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....

JoelJoel posted:

You're all pervs.


You're just a loving dolt.

Thanks for being rude but is it toilet paper? I have looked at this image far too long. IT doesn't help the artist sucks at drawing.

9goats dead
Mar 25, 2010

BEAUTIFUL! GORGEOUS! EXCITING!

just pee in the parking lot, in full view of G-D, drunk, like i do everytime I go to the Sivler Dollar. San ANtonio's Best Gay Club.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





It's the background you dumb fart

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.


Meowbot posted:

Thanks for being rude but is it toilet paper? I have looked at this image far too long. IT doesn't help the artist sucks at drawing.

It's the gap in the bushes I mean GOD, DO WE HAVE TO GET AN EVEN MORE RUDIMENTARY PUBLIC URINATION GUIDE???

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





Mods please ban meowbot for being a goddamn idiot

Saagonsa
Dec 29, 2012

It means everything.


Smoking Crow posted:

thanks f plus from three years ago

etalian
Mar 20, 2006



a hole-y ghost posted:

probably my least favorite strat is the trickle torture. I call it that because it's unpleasant. This is where you cannot risk any piss whatsoever getting out of your clothing so you just piss a little bit and hold the rest until it dries and then piss again. Works best when it's hot, dry, and windy. May make you smell funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i-gKXqLvNY

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....

sorry guys I was looking at it on a phone and it was a slightly different color than the sky (which any idiot would clearly notice if it was). I can clearly see it is just a piece of debris flying through the air now.

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Stex T posted:

Now there needs to be wikihow on how to hide a boner, because I got a massive one from reading the OP

http://www.wikihow.com/Hide-an-Erection

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012


Meowbot posted:

Thanks for being rude but is it toilet paper? I have looked at this image far too long. IT doesn't help the artist sucks at drawing.

it's the loving sky

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien


Robo Reagan posted:

it's the loving sky

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Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi

Meowbot posted:

sorry guys I was looking at it on a phone and it was a slightly different color than the sky (which any idiot would clearly notice if it was). I can clearly see it is just a piece of debris flying through the air now.

im going to kill you

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