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Shifty gimbal
Dec 28, 2008

Hey you... I got something to tell ya

Biscuit Hider

You are proclaimed guilty of making a videogame with the shoot and jump buttons switched. What do you have to say for yourself you monster? Can you even justify your crime?

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Shifty gimbal
Dec 28, 2008

Hey you... I got something to tell ya

Biscuit Hider

Y'all doing a good job of killing yourselves and I'm proud of you because that's all you deserve, ya button-switching bagels

Shifty gimbal
Dec 28, 2008

Hey you... I got something to tell ya

Biscuit Hider

metricchip posted:

I present games that use up to jump instead of face buttons as exhibit A.

We pinned this on the Wand of Gameleon / Faces of Evil guy, but it ended up getting acquitted. Guy managed to convince the dumb jury that the game was simply ahead of the hardware and it was NEC's fault for not providing enough face buttons. The same argument didn't work twice though, he ultimately got caught using the same button for "use inventory item" and "inventory menu", switching between the two while ducking. He was also pinned for unacceptable loading times.

It's a good thing. Had he walked, the media would have been all over our asses. It's not a crime to have weak-rear end unsatisfying bomb explosions, nor is it to have an extremely gay looking sword-swing attack that makes Link look like a giant homo. That doesn't make it right though; Someone had to be held accountable.

Shifty gimbal
Dec 28, 2008

Hey you... I got something to tell ya

Biscuit Hider

This is true

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